She Lies Twisted

by C. M. Stunich

  “You don't have a choice now, Neil. Come here or I'll rip his fucking head off,” she mocked as demons moved towards James, drawn like moths to light. I locked eyes with the person that had managed to become my best friend in a matter of days. He was scared but brave. His eyes told me not to move forward. Am I in love with him? I wondered. I'd never been in love before but I knew the love I felt for James was different than the kind I'd felt for Abe or my mother or Boyd. I took a deep breath and used that thought as fuel to push my shaking legs forward. There was nothing I could do for Jarrod and deep down, I was glad. It was sort of his fault that we were here in the first place. Jessica had loved him wholly and utterly and he had spit on that love, turned her into this monster. She may have still looked pretty but Jessica was the most demonic one of them all.

  I checked to make sure the harp was still strapped to my belt. I had learned my lesson at the school and again, at the park. I wouldn't drop it again.

  “I'm so happy, Tate,” she whispered, her eyes full of tears. “You and me and Jarrod, we'll be together forever. There's nothing better than that, Tate, nothing.” My fingers twitched near the strings. She pushed you off of that cliff. The thought didn't make what I had to do any easier. I glanced back over at James. He was okay still but for how long? Jessica had killed Jarrod without much thought. I didn't have any time to question myself.

  I paused in front of her, our bloody shoes nearly toe to toe.

  She pulled the knife across her wrist in one last, cruel gesture.

  I pulled the first string. Music wrapped around me, lifted me up like wings and took me to that other place where the people I loved didn't die and the hurt I felt was just a distant star in the sky.

  I closed my eyes and let the sound of music wash over and through me. It was the sound of Ehferea's soul singing gently, beckoning to me. My feet moved to follow her voice, my voice, entangled together in the words I'd read but hadn't understood. She lies twist'd, twist'd twist'd. I had been twisted, by pain, by fate, by loss but I was starting to understand that there was more to me than that. I was starting to realize that I could untangle myself from the hurt and still be me. I could still love, I could still live. I opened my eyes and stopped. This song wasn't for me. It was for my sister, my twin, my heart.

  “Tate?” Jessica whispered, looking back at me through blue eyes that sparkled with tears and confusion and fear.

  “I'm here,” I said and pulled her against me and then there was nothing but us. I stroked her hair back and let the harp lull us to the ground where we knelt, just the two of us, and let the hurt soak away into the grass like rain.

  “I'm afraid,” she said, clutching my shirt with a shaking fist. Her body shook while she cried the tears she'd been holding back for so long. I rubbed her back in little circles and tried to breathe in the scent of her hair. This was goodbye but that was okay. She had left me before in a whirlwind of pain and misunderstanding and frustration. Now was our chance to make that right. “And I'm sorry.” She pulled away from me and cupped my cheeks with her hands before planting a kiss on my forehead like she'd always done when we were little. I took her hands in my own and pulled them down, stared at identical fingers and identical knuckles wrapped together in love.

  “I forgive you,” I told her, my own eyes dry. I couldn't let her see me cry for her lost life. It was my turn to be strong. When Mom had died, she had shouldered the brunt of the hurt. I could do the same for her. “And I'm sorry, too, for not understanding how hurt you were. If I had seen the signs I would...” She shushed me with a finger to my lips and stood. She was gazing away from me, at something I couldn't see. I didn't turn around but I knew that whatever it was, it was good and that my sister would be taken care of. I watched her face sparkle. The anger was gone, the betrayal was gone. She was just Jessica again.

  Her clothes fell from her body until she stood naked and full of a light I had thought she had lost. When she began to walk away, I let her. I let the music fade away into the sound of the wind against the headstones and I watched as the demons around me changed into people with smiles and frowns and tears and laughter. James fell to his knees at the base of the tree, freed from the demon's grip. I stayed there, kneeling, waiting for my heart to stop pounding.

  He came to me and sat down while Ehferea and Nethel stood behind him, hurt but alive. I smiled then and that's when the tears I'd been holding back burst forth. She was gone. She was really gone this time and I had sent her away. I had done it. I had loved her and I had proved it but God, it had hurt so much.

  “James?” I said, unable to move or even breathe. He came forward, through the mud and pulled me against him, holding me while I cried for a job well done and a job that had yet to come.

  It was time to say goodbye to Boyd.

  James and I sat in the center of the clearing together while I let the tempestuous sea of my emotions relax into a quiet thunder. Nethel had retreated back into the forest and I knew that she would take care of Ehferea as James was taking care of me. I needed to go back and help Boyd but first, I would take this moment for Jessica. I laid on my back in the grass and held her sweatshirt in my hands, putting the bloody fabric to my face. It still smelled like her. It wouldn't for long but for now I was glad because it was just what I needed. James gave me a few moments for my thoughts before speaking.

  “You were brave,” he told me softly. I nodded but didn't speak. Losing her again was hard but the way she'd looked at me in that last moment, that was beautiful. She'd been happy. It had been a long time since I'd seen her like that.

  “I don't feel brave,” I admitted. James nodded and scooted closer to me, lifting my head into his lap.

  “Bravery isn't about not being scared,” he told me, looking down into my eyes. I traced the new stitches over his eyebrow. “It's about pushing forward even though you are scared.” I put the sweatshirt over my face. James pulled it back. “It's time to be brave again,” he told me without mercy. I was stalling. I glanced away.

  “I fucked it all up, James,” I said, rolling onto my side. He kept my head in his lap and waited. I had to tell him now. Jessica was gone. I didn't have that as an excuse anymore. I wanted James to know before he touched Boyd that it was my fault. “He loved me so fucking much and I just wanted him to be happy. I didn't do it on purpose.” James' breath sped up and I recognized that he was feeling like I'd felt at the table. He was seeing me in his own mirror. Are we soul mates? I wondered absently. I didn't know much about that but I knew we were partners. Now and forever, harpies be damned. Friendship is eternal. And this might be something more...

  “We had sex and it meant nothing to me. Boyd, he cried.” I picked at the grass and wished there were daisies so I could make a chain. Busy work helped the words come out. “I only did it once and I told him I didn't want it to be like that. I think he thought I didn't love him.” I turned over so James could see my face, so he could see the face of a murderer. “But I did. He didn't know that and that's why he killed himself. Because of me.” Tears stung again. I couldn't even believe it. I thought I had cried enough already. How many tears did I have left inside my soul? James surprised me by tearing up, too. He bent down and pressed his forehead against mine. I could feel his lips in my hair when he spoke.

  “You're not a murderer,” he said softly and I thought could hear the howls of Boyd's demon. We had to go back. It wasn't fair to Boyd. I waited for James to finish anyway. I wanted to hear this. I needed somebody to tell me this or I could never go and live that life I told myself that I wanted. Jessica had lost her way and I had to find mine, for both of us. “We loved as much anyone can ever love. That's why we're here, Neil. Because we have a gift. This isn't a punishment. We're here to help people.” I nodded and he leaned back, reaching into his pocket for something. His hand retreated with a flash of silver.

  I sat up quickly, bumping our foreheads painfully together and scooted back, rubbing my head.

  “A harmonica?” I asked, taking it gentl
y in my hand. This wasn't just any instrument. This was a part of James, like my hart was a part of me. On it, was a poem.

  He lives twist'd, twist'd, twist'd,

  Finds sol'ace at gray cliffs mist'd,

  Soul is broken, blacken'd, dead,

  His heart beats no more, clots with dread,

  Pale and quilt'd, skin like ashe,

  His eyes have darken'd, can't go back,

  Lost and lonely, without hope,

  Transitioner, save us, lead us home.

  I think I read it four times before I looked back up at him. His eyes were raw and wanting. I handed him my harp.

  “That was you?” I asked. “At the park?” The twang I had heard, the thing that had broken Jessica's music. It had been him. He nodded but didn't speak as he read my poem. His eyes moved over the words as mine had, with understanding. We understood each other.

  “I've been to the Akashic Library,” he whispered quietly as the breeze played her soft fingers through his hair. He gestured at the harmonica with his chin. “I can open up a door with that. It's how I got the harpies to the park. If you want to go there later, I'd be happy to take you. It is beautiful and since Jessica's not tracking you anymore, it should be safe.” A smile crept up to my lips without my knowledge and then, as surreptitiously as it had come, it morphed into laughter. James stared at me, eyes wide with surprise. I think it might've been the first time he'd heard my real laugh. It felt good, like my lungs were full of bubbles. James smiled back at me and laughed, too. It was wonderful. Things could get better. They would get better but there was something I had to do first.

  “Let's go get Boyd,” I said, rising from the grass and reaching my hand out to help James up. This would hurt, of course it would, but I was going to get the chance to say goodbye. I would have the opportunity to tell Boyd how I really felt and afterward, I had something to look forward to. I had a new friend, I had love, I had purpose.

  I had a life.

  I played the harp again outside the trailer window and waited until the howling and the trembling had stopped. When we climbed back through, I was relieved to see that Boyd was waiting for us, standing over the spot he had died with a fond smile. I didn't understand it but then again, it wasn't really my place. I wasn't ready to die, that much had been made quite clear to me when Jessica had held the knife above my trembling form. I shook my head. That was not how I was going to remember her. I was going to think of the love we had always shared and how in the end, that was all that had mattered.

  Boyd turned and faced me, his smile softening as our eyes met.

  “Hey Neil,” he said. My legs shook, my lips trembled. James reached down and scooped up one of my hands with his. Don't be mad, I thought at Boyd. Don't hate me for this. I didn't mean to fall in love. I never wanted this.

  “Hey,” I replied, feeling suddenly shy. I was ready for this. After seeing the bliss in Jessica's face, I knew this was right but that didn't mean it was going to be easy. I turned to James and pitched my voice to a whisper. “Do you mind if we have a moment before-” I paused. This is right, Neil. You know this is right. “Before you pass him on?” James nodded and pushed my hood back so that my hair shone under the moonlight streaming in the window. He gave my hand one last squeeze and left, the trailer door swinging in the breeze.

  “I've really missed you,” Boyd said from behind me. I turned around slowly and searched his eyes for signs of jealousy. There wasn't any. I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “I've missed you, too,” I said and then I broke down, collapsed to my knees and cried. The wetness that traveled down my face wasn't the same as before. It wasn't pain and agony and hurt. This time it was just release and it felt good, like I was being purified. Boyd knelt down next to me but didn't touch me. We couldn't touch, that much had been made clear to me in the past few days. A summoner has her own crosses to bear.

  “Neil,” he said. “Tell me about it.”

  And I did.

  I told him how mad I was at him, how hard he'd made life for me, how I'd died by my own sister's hands. Then I realized I was being selfish.

  “What about you?” I asked. “How have you been?” A thousand emotions flickered across his green eyes before he shook his head of curly hair. Just like my dream, I thought. It must've been an omen though I hadn't known it until now.

  “There's too much, Neil,” he said and his voice was both happy and sad. “You'll understand when...” He paused as he reached a hand out and traced the line James had followed when he'd pushed my hood back. “When it's your turn.” I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know if he blamed me, if he still loved me, if he regretted doing it. I nodded out of respect and rose to my feet. Boyd followed suit.

  “I'll call James,” I said, not wanting Boyd to leave but knowing that if I didn't do it soon, it'd be that much harder for the both of us.

  “Wait,” he said, looking away as if he were scared to say what he was thinking. I waited, my insides bursting with emotion. “Do you think you could take me there?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “The cliff, the beach where you died?” My heart fluttered in my chest and I smiled.

  “I couldn't think of a better way for you to go.”

  I stood on the edge of the cliff where I'd lost my life and somehow, miraculously, gotten it back again. Boyd paused on the ledge beside me.

  “You know,” he said and I could hear the tears in his voice though I refused to look. If I looked at him again, I would cry, too, and I was tired of crying. It was time to celebrate a new beginning for all of us. For James, for Jessica, for Boyd. I felt a sob building in my chest. For me. “I never blamed you,” he said and I bit my lower lip to hold my emotions back. I had been hoping he would say that. “And I can't stand the thought that you ever felt that way.” I let my eyes slide over to him. He was holding the railing in one hand and gazing at the sea with cloudy eyes. There was adventure there, the need for change, the desire to move on. I glanced down at my shaking hands and for a moment, I wished that it was me and not James that would be sending Boyd on.

  “Neil?” He whispered, his voice nearly torn away by the ocean breeze. I nodded to let him know I had heard him. “I love you and I always will, no matter what lifetime I find myself in.” I spun around and threw my arms around him. This was it. This was perfect. Like the harpies had said, this was love. It didn't have to be romantic, it just had to be. Love was important, no matter the capacity.

  I pulled back suddenly, afraid that Boyd would become a demon again and send me tumbling down the cliff. He didn't. He stood there and smiled, his body shimmering and flickering like an old movie. James stepped up beside us and I grasped his hand for support.

  “I feel like I know you,” James said and Boyd smiled. Good, they don't hate each other. I couldn't stand it if they hated each other. James took a deep breath. “Well,” he continued, his eyes shifting nervously over to me. I smiled encouragement. “Are you ready?” Boyd nodded. I stepped back and wrapped my arms around myself. I had seen him go once and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I wouldn't let it be this time.

  James held out his hand, his pale fingers gray in the evening light and brushed them against Boyd's forehead.

  “I love you, too,” I shouted, loud enough for him to hear over the wind and the water crashing against the rocks. Boyd's face lit up like the brightest star in the sky and I found my heart slamming against my chest. It was time to let him go. His spirit had stayed around long enough trying to protect me, to make sure I'd be happy. It was his turn.

  Boyd's image faded until there was nothing left of him but my memory.

  James turned around and cupped my face in his hands.

  “I love you, Tatum Ruby O'Neil,” he said and I felt the tears I'd been holding back finally burst free. James brushed them away with the pads of his thumbs and pressed the gentlest of kisses against my lips. It was our first and most perfect kiss. “Are you going to be okay?” He asked. I leaned into him and relaxed into the f
eel of his arms around me. Boyd was gone but he'd be back. In another face, in another lifetime, I'd see him and I'd know. I'd recognize that smile anywhere. It was goodbye but it was only temporary.

  “Yeah,” I said, surprising myself. I had always wanted to die but now, suddenly, I was ready to live. “I am, I really am.”

  James released me and stepped back, offering his hand. I took it gently and entwined my fingers with his. “James,” I said as we walked back towards the parking lot and the waiting harpies, who were both, luckily, still alive and well. “I love you, too.” He grinned at me, stretching the stitches in his face.

  “I know,” he replied. “But I'm glad you said it.” My chest warmed and I found myself looking forward to the future. I had always thought death was the end, the culmination of a series of mishaps and suffering, but now I knew for us, it was just the beginning.

  If you enjoyed this book, look for more by C.M. Stunich!

  Books by C.M. Stunich

  The Seven Wicked Series

  First

  Second

  Third

  Fourth

  Fifth

  Sixth

  Seventh

  Houses Novels

  The House of Gray and Graves

  The House of Hands and Hearts and Hair

  The House of Sticks and Bones

  Indigo Lewis Novels

  Indigo & Iris

  Indigo & The Colonel

  Indigo & Lynx

  Stand Alone Novels

  Suicide Girls

  She Lies Twisted