One True Love
Page 19
“Yep.” Nancy wiped paste off her finger. “Just like your mother.” She replaced the lid. “If you don’t need me, guess I’ll go on down to Suttler’s Store and see what’s going on. Usually one good shootin’ a day down there.”
“That’s fine, Aunt Nancy.” Copper slipped the dress on a hanger. Mr. Glessner was kind enough to let Nancy hang around, but Copper knew she made him nervous. When she appeared, he disappeared to the back room and worked on men’s tailoring. “I’ll be home a little after five.”
Home? For her, neither Ellsworth nor the small room in Aunt Nancy’s house qualified as a home. Truth was, she longed for Thunder Ridge where weather was the only real threat to one’s sanity. Changing a spool of thread, she wondered why she had stayed this long. Six weeks wasn’t an eternity, and yet today it felt like it. She drew a deep breath and admitted to herself that she still hoped the visit would erase memories. It hadn’t yet, and she was losing hope that she would ever eradicate Josh Redlin’s time in her life. Yes, he was a cad of the worst sort, and he had misled her into thinking that he would be back. Yet her feelings for him hadn’t changed. She loved the lout, imperfect as he might be. She must learn to face life without him.
Aunt Nancy started out the door when Copper suddenly called, “Auntie?”
The woman turned. “Eh?”
“Am I really like Mother?” Copper had never thought of the comparison, but Mother, though a dear, was stubborn, loving. Kind. She was everything Copper thought herself to be.
“Honey.” Aunt Nancy pulled up a chair and sat down. “You’re the spittin’ image of Luanna, God love her. Oh, she was a pistol, that one. Good as they come, but you get her dander up and you had yourself a peck of trouble. Now your daddy knew how to deal with her. I always said the good Lord picked the one man with the patience of Job to marry Luanna. She had a heart of gold; do just about anything anyone ask of her but behave.”
Copper bit back a grin. Funny how she’d forgotten Mama’s temperament. Her “stubborn streaks,” Father would say. Sometimes the household was in turmoil as Mama flew through the house like fury. She had the faith of a stewing hen, yet she loved the Lord and wouldn’t stand for heathenish talk. She’d speak of trust and yet she rarely practiced it. Always fretted about nothing, stewed until she made herself sick with worry.
And yet she was Mother, and Papa and Copper loved the woman to pieces.
“You know, honey.” Aunt Nancy leaned in closer. “I may appear a bit strange but I’m smarter than you think. Your mother got Pa’s nature; I got my ma’s common sense. There’s not much in this old life that you can’t overcome, with the help of our Maker. And that man you’re pining away for—”
“I never said I was pining…”
Nancy held up a restraining hand. “You didn’t have to say a word. It’s written all over you, and what woman hasn’t loved a man and feared that she’d lose him.”
Defense crumbling, Copper buried her face in her hands. “But I have lost him, Aunt Nancy.”
“That’s a fact?”
“As close as I can tell.”
“Close? But not a fact. Yet.” The old woman reached out and put her hand on Copper’s heaving shoulders. “Until it’s a square hit, you haven’t got a fact. You got a theory. And theories are known to be proven wrong.”
Good heavens. Aunt Nancy knew the word theory and used it properly? What was this world coming to?
“Well, got to be going. They’ve probably already shot someone down at Suttler’s and I’ve missed it.”
The door closed behind her, and Copper settled back in her chair.
Outside, two men shouted and cursed at each other, and she recognized the buildup to another fight. This time, for some reason, a crowd was gathering to watch. This was the final straw. She swallowed hard to control the nausea that rose up in her stomach. She had to get out of this place. She had to go home. Beeder’s Cove. Thunder Ridge. It didn’t matter; she had to leave this insanity.
“Better the devils I know back there than the ones waiting around every corner here in Ellsworth,” she said aloud.
Theory. Maybe Aunt Nancy was wiser than she thought.
The stage rolled into Thunder Ridge toward evening. It had taken a pretty penny to convince the driver to detour the few miles in order to drop her off, but she’d made a pretty penny over the past few weeks so she could afford the luxury.
She stepped from the coach beneath a leaden sky. Tom was sweeping the mercantile porch as she paid the driver and added a handsome tip. The stage rolled away and she turned and picked up her two bags. Home. Now Audrey and Eli would surely marry. The feeling seeped through her bones like the familiarity of one’s own bed.
Nodding to the curious mercantile owner, she walked toward the ugly green house that towered above the smaller buildings, only…Her steps faltered. The house was no longer green. It was white, with pretty brown shutters and a new porch, a very large porch encircling the now striking exterior.
“I’d like to know how you accomplished that.”
She turned to see that Tom had followed her. “Pardon?”
He scratched his head. “How in the cat hair did you get a stage line to bring you here?”
“Oh, that.” She sighed. “Tom, I’ve discovered that given enough money you can get anyone to do almost anything.” She turned back to stare at the house. “I see much has changed in the brief time I’ve been gone.” Tucker managed money well, but she hardly thought he could scrape together enough to accomplish this amazing transformation.
“Oh yes, the house.” The mercantile owner crossed his arms and stared at the renovation. “Downright attractive, isn’t it.”
“Tucker did this?”
“Tucker? He wouldn’t have the money to do this. The new owner did it.”
“Oh yes, the new owner. Then he must be planning to live here soon.”
“Yep, that’s what he claims. He, his wife, and their young’uns.”
“He has children?” Her thoughts shifted to the school. Audrey would have additional pupils.
“Not yet.” Tom walked off, wiping his hands on his apron.
Picking up her bags, Copper continued to the newly renovated house, picturing the surprise that awaited Audrey and Willow. Their last letter had been brimming with excitement about the upcoming wedding. The sawmill was running smoothly now, and Eli could take the time to enjoy a honeymoon. The wedding was set for the end of the month, and Copper was expected to be in attendance. The black shroud that had been covering her finally started to lift. She was deeply ashamed of her lack of faith. Nothing had changed other than the fact she knew she had succumbed to her fears and allowed them to dominate her. Biting her lower lip, she willed back tears. If she was going to live in Thunder Ridge she would have to shake this melancholy and truly celebrate Eli and Audrey’s love. No one deserved happiness more than those two.
Breathless, she paused before the house, still stunned by the transformation. Cordelia Padget must be frantic. She’d wanted this house so badly. Willow had said the poor woman had taken to bed for a week when she was outbid at the auction. Suddenly the thought struck her. Had the new owner moved in? If so, where were Tucker and Willow staying? And Audrey?
Her eyes traveled to the sawmill site, seeking a familiar face.
“Well as I live and breathe. If it isn’t Miss Wilson.”
Whirling, Copper came face to face with Josh. For a second the air left her lungs and her throat closed. He was here! He’d really come back! Her eyes devoured him like a hungry child looking at a candy counter.
Then anger flooded her. He was here. Not in Dallas. Here in Thunder Ridge. Her pulse raced. He had come back—and she had left.
“I…” She searched but words failed her. She couldn’t take her eyes off him, clean shaven, wearing buckskin trousers and a white shirt. She drank in the sight of red wavy hair, strong jawline. She swallowed, summoning self-righteous anger. Why should she be on the defensive? He’d chosen to go to Dal
las before coming back to her.
“Speechless?” He quirked a brow. “That’s not like you.”
Her chin lifted with defiance. “You don’t know me.”
He shifted stances, a sure sign she was stepping on his nerves. “I’m about to think you’re right. What is it about ‘I’ll be back’ that you don’t understand?”
Dropping both bags to the ground, she met his eyes. “How was Dallas?”
Chapter 24
“Hot. How was Ellsworth?”
“Scared the living daylights out of me.” Her eyes narrowed. So he knew where she’d been, and he hadn’t come after her. She stepped up on the porch. She was going to look him straight in the eye and demand to know why he had led her to believe they might have a future together.
He shifted. “So we’ve established that Dallas was hot and Ellsworth scared the living daylights out of you.”
Shrugging, she looked away. Suddenly her accusations stuck in her throat. Truth was, he’d come back and she’d left. Silence followed the exchange until her nerves stretched thin.
“Where are Tucker and Willow?”
“Tucker’s at the mill, and I would imagine Willow’s with Audrey. Those two have been tight as ticks planning the wedding.”
Jealously mixed with resentment. She should have been here helping them plan. Instead she’d been in Kansas sleeping next to a strange, paste-eating, but oh-so-wise aunt and trying to forget the man standing in front of her existed. She spied the bucket of paint in his hand as he stepped around her. “What are you doing?”
“Painting.”
“Painting what?”
“If you must know, painting my house.”
“Your house.” She turned to look at the renovation again.
He nodded, touching the brush to a corner. “That’s what I said.”
Her heart sank deeper than a rock in a well. His house. He had purchased the house, and he and Susan would be living here? With children. He had children! Bile swelled to the back of her throat. He’d deliberately misled her, told her he wasn’t married. She couldn’t bear it; she couldn’t bear seeing him with another woman day after day, year after year. She couldn’t endure him seeing her hobbling around the town like a pitied spinster. She closed her eyes, taking in drafts of air. But she couldn’t, she simply refused to go back to Ellsworth. “You’re planning to live here?”
He stepped down and propped his ladder against the steps, then hung his bucket of paint on a piece of wire hooked around a rung. Her thoughts churned. Audrey and Willow. They must have known that he’d purchased the house, known it all along, and not said a word to her. What had they hoped? That she would go away, as she had, and stay away? That she would never know that Josh was married to his mysterious lady in Dallas and he actually planned to move here? Raise their children here. Oh, she wanted to strike out, hurt him as much as she was hurting right now. This was the cruelest thing anyone had ever done to her. And she couldn’t believe her best friends had betrayed her.
Whirling to leave, she discovered her flight blocked by the ladder.
“Move this thing!”
He started to comply but her anger burst. She shoved the contraption aside but it twisted and tipped. She saw the paint begin to spill and reached out to catch it. Instead she only managed to make it lean worse and splash on her face and down the front of her dress. Josh jumped clear, then back to help her. Their eyes locked and Redlin froze.
Drawing a deep breath, she made a few ineffective efforts to brush off the dripping liquid. Then she spun on her heel and started to descend the steps. She could feel his eyes on her back, on the limp. Tears blurred her vision. Confusion overwhelmed her. She felt…sensed that he had feelings for her. Deep feelings. She’d seen it in his eyes the brief instant their eyes had met. How could he be married to Susan and still have feelings for her? She stumbled and suddenly he was there, lifting her into his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder—the sweet, sweet scent of him—and allowed him to carry her to the side of the house where a can of turpentine and cloth awaited. Gently he began to clean the paint off her face.
“You are one hard-to-figure-out woman, Miss Wilson.”
“Why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t lie to you. I told you I would be back. Why didn’t you wait for me?”
Why indeed. That would be the question that she would take to her grave, but he couldn’t know how devastated she had been when she was first convinced there was another woman. He had a right to happiness, and if he and Susan…She couldn’t bear the thought of him and Susan.
“You left for Dallas the moment you reached Colorado. Why didn’t you at least write and tell me you were married.”
He held her at arm’s length. “Who said I was married?”
“Adele wrote and told me,” she said.
“That I was married?”
“No. That you left for Dallas the moment you got to Colorado. Or shortly afterwards, I’d assume.”
“I told her to write and tell you.”
“Is this a continuation of your game, Mr. Redlin? Have Adele tell me that you were off to see Susan, prepare me for the time you would bring her here?” She caught her breath on a sob. “Well, I don’t blame you. She’s probably perfect, and I’m not. Two perfect people. With how many children? Two? Three? How could you!” She jerked aside and limped away.
“Children!”
“How many, Mr. Redlin? Five, six?”
He caught up with her and led her back to the turpentine. “You just hold on, young lady. Adele doesn’t know my relationship with Susan.” He lifted the rag and started to scrub her face.
“Ouch…you’re hurting me. And she does know. I told her and the other women that you were writing to a woman in Dallas named Susan.”
“But neither Adele nor the other women knew why, and neither did you. Six kids? I don’t have one child. That’s why I warned you against spreading tales you knew nothing about. You’re lucky I don’t turn you over my knee like a willful child and whup you.”
“You and whose army?”
He scrubbed paint out of her hair. “For the life of me, I can’t understand your fixation on Susan.”
“You can’t understand that I would be concerned that the man I love might be in love with another woman? A woman he wrote regularly, married evidently, a woman he went directly to when the journey ended.” She caught back a sob. “You don’t need to answer. Susan is a whole woman, not a cripple like me. But you couldn’t have known I was a cripple, Josh. You didn’t bother to ask the results of my—” She wiped back tears. “And you’ve made me a disgraced woman, a woman who fell in love with a married man.”
He grasped her shoulders firmly. “Stop right there.”
She resisted. “Let me go!”
He pinned her to his side, holding her tightly until the fight went out of her. “Yes I went to Susan first. Now you’ve heard me say it. Are you happy?”
“No. Why would I be happy about your going to another woman, even if she is your wife?”
“You don’t understand. You couldn’t.”
“I understand why you wouldn’t want to be saddled with someone like me who can never…”
His grip tightened on her shoulders. “Self-pity? Stop it!” His gaze pinned her.
“It’s true—”
He shook his head. “I knew when the surgery was over the chances were you’d never fully regain use of your ankle. Dyson told me, and he wanted to tell you, but I insisted that he allow you hope. Given he was a man who’d had all hope taken from him, he agreed to pray—along with me—for a miracle. There was a small chance the surgery would have prevented a permanent limp, but so small Dyson wouldn’t discuss it. None of it mattered to me. I’d love you if you had no legs, Copper. The question is, will you love me once you know that I’m not the man you think I am? I’m not the Josh Redlin you know. Not even close.”
She stiffened. “Obviously not.” Was he a criminal on the run? A bank rob
ber? What? At this point nothing would surprise her.
“For starters, I’m not Josh Redlin, wagon master, I’m Josh Redlin, preacher. Only problem is, I killed a man. Outright shot him, with his wife looking on.”
Copper caught her breath. “Oh Josh.”
“She came to me for counseling. Her husband was a mild sort, but when he was angered he turned mean. And it seems she angered him a lot. He’d caught her cheating once and nearly beat her to death. The family attended services regularly until the incident, and then he stopped coming. He stayed holed up and got more paranoid every day. She kept coming to me. I did what I could, but she had a heavy burden. God forgave her, but she couldn’t forgive herself. Day after day she showed up asking that I pray with her. One day I told her I’d continue to pray with her, but she’d have to forgive herself before she could put the past behind her. We were walking down the steps of the church following one of our sessions when her husband showed up, drunk and throwing accusations. Claimed we were having an affair. When I tried to calm him he pulled a gun, threatening to blow his wife’s head off.”
“You were unarmed?”
“No. How I wish I had been, but I always carried a pistol. You don’t live in Texas unarmed.” His features tightened. “But I’ve wished a thousand times he’d have shot me. Instinct took over that day. When he shoved me aside and walked up to Susan and pulled his gun and aimed at her head I shot him. In the back.” He paused, rubbing his hand over his chin. “I couldn’t stay at the church after that. All I wanted to do was run. I knew God was aware of the circumstances, but I’d killed the father of four children and I couldn’t forgive myself. I saw clearly the obstacle Susan had faced. That was five years ago. I took to leading wagon trains. I’ve been sending money to Susan and her kids. They’ve had a tough time making ends meet. She recently met a man, and they’re about to be married. I went to Dallas because I knew it was unlikely I’d be back through those parts anytime soon, and I wanted to see for myself that she and the children were going to be fine.” His gaze softened. “That’s why I went to her first. Not out of love, but out of duty. I should have written and told you why, but I didn’t much see how to put something like that in a letter.”