Rock Stars Don't Like Ugly Bras

by Ashton, Nikki

  Jake shook his head. “No.”

  “So are you okay?”

  He turned back and dropped a kiss on her lips. “Fine, I’ll see you later, Freckles.”

  With shoulders slumped, Jake left the room, leaving Amber staring after him. He’d been in good form this morning. He had been funny and teasing, so what on earth had put him in such a mood. It had to be Luke.

  “Luke!” Amber shouted, storming off to find her cousin.

  “I swear, I haven’t said anything,” Luke protested. “I’m cool with it.”

  “Like it’s got anything to do with you, anyway,” Amber growled.

  “I promised your mum I’d look after you. So, yes it is my business.” Luke pointed a finger at Amber. “Don’t slag me off Amber for caring about my family. I swear though, I haven’t said a word to him.”

  From the look on his face Amber could tell that he was telling the truth. She huffed and flung her arms around Luke. “I’m sorry,” she muttered against his chest. “I just don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s never moody.”

  Luke stroked Amber’s hair and then kissed the top of her head. “He’ll be okay. Just go and speak to him.” He gently pushed Amber away. “I know you care about each other ‘a lot’, so it won’t be anything too serious. Maybe there’s another problem with the house.”

  Amber nodded and kissed Luke’s cheek. “Sorry I shouted at you.”

  “No problem, just go and find him.”

  Amber pulled her shoulders back and made her way up the stairs. She had decided that she was going to tell Jake how she felt about him. That she couldn’t stand the thought of living a life without him, and wanted to make things more permanent. She wanted to tell him that as soon as he walked into the room, she felt safe and happy. That when he wasn’t in the room she yearned for him. That he made her feel special and adored, so it wasn’t just about fun anymore; she loved him and just hoped he felt the same.

  Jake sat on the end of his bed and sighed, dropping his head into his hands. How on earth was he going to tell Freckles that he was leaving? Things were going really well between them, she was everything he could want, but he had to go. Then when he’d sorted everything, and was able to come home he’d tell her how he felt. He loved her and fuck if he was going to let her deny she felt the same way.

  As Jake stared down at the floor his mobile rang out. He looked at the screen and snatched it up from the bed and taking a deep breath swiped the screen to accept the call.

  Amber paused at the open door and smiled as she watched Jake sitting on the edge of the bed. He was still damp from his shower, and wearing just a towel around his slim hips. She shivered as she thought about what lay beneath it and considered going in and jumping him, leaving the talk until later. She was just about to push the door open wider, when Jake’s phone rang. He picked it up and answered it.

  “Hey sweetheart,” he said softly into the phone.

  Amber stilled and held back a gasp. Who was it that he was calling sweetheart? It wasn’t Martha, she was feeding Rocco in his room. Was it Sadie, or another of his past partners? Amber knew that she should walk away, but her feet were planted firmly to the floor and her legs were like lead. Adrenalin pumped through Amber’s veins as morbid fascination fixed her to the spot.

  “I know,” Jake continued. “We’ll be together soon, I promise…on Friday, yes…I love you too so don’t cry, please. I’ll be with you soon and then life will be brilliant.”

  As Jake laughed quietly, Amber’s heart broke. He didn’t love her; whoever was on the other end of the phone was who he loved. Jake was evidently just using her as a fling until he could be back with the woman he was now talking to. Anger and despair surged through her veins as Amber tried to move into Jake’s room. She was damned if she was going to stand there and let him talk sweet nothings to someone else. She lifted her shaking hand to the door, but her feet still wouldn’t move. Her heart was beating treble time and she felt sick. How could he do this to her? As Jake continued to talk softly, Amber drew in a shuddering breath. She couldn’t do it; she couldn’t talk to him about it. How could she face him knowing that he had been lying to her?

  With tears slowly rolling down her cheeks, Amber tiptoed away back to her room for a date with Rhett and Scarlett.

  After dinner, Amber feigned a headache and announced that she was going to bed early. A concerned Jake followed behind.

  “Hey, you want me to get you some water and painkillers?” Jake asked as they reached her bedroom.

  With his hand was on the small of Amber’s back, heat radiated throughout her body.

  Amber shook her head and couldn’t help but be baffled by his attention to her. Surely it must mean that he did have some feelings towards her; just not enough. She also wondered why the hell she hadn’t tackled him about the phone call. Amber knew she wasn’t normally a weak person. She appreciated the irony of the fact that she hadn’t been above screaming at him over irrelevant things in the past; yet now she was being a coward.

  Before dinner, after she had spent an hour crying, Amber had stormed downstairs determined to slap his face and tell him to go to hell. As soon as she’d seen him though, her lips fused together and all she could do was stand and gaze as he gently rocked Rocco to sleep while Luke and Martha made dinner.

  Her thoughts back to the present, Amber sighed inwardly as Jake pulled her duvet back and indicated for her to get into bed. Nuzzling into Jake’s hand on her cheek, a thunderbolt hit her in the chest. She knew why she wasn’t at this very moment screaming at him. Apart from not wanting to hear the truth, it was because she wanted just a little bit more time with the beautiful man in front of her. She needed more of his cuddles, his smiles, and the loving glances before it was all over. Plus, she was hoping against hope that he would suddenly tell her all about the phone call. That he would come up with a reasonable excuse for calling someone else sweetheart and promising life would be brilliant once they were together. Amber also knew that if Luke found out, then Dirty Riches would more than likely be looking for a new lead guitarist. There was no way she was going to be responsible for thousands of devastated fans.

  “Come on, Freckles,” Jake ushered. “Get in.”

  Amber kicked off her flip flops and climbed into bed, fully clothed in leggings and one of Jake’s t-shirts.

  “Are you sure you don’t need anything?” he asked pulling the covers up to Amber’s chin.

  “No, I’m fine. I just need some sleep.” Amber turned to her side.

  Jake dropped to his knees so that their faces were inches apart. He reached up and curled Amber’s hair around his finger and deeply inhaled her scent. He marvelled at her beauty as the thought of leaving chipped away at his heart; but he had to go. As much as he loved Freckles, he loved Abbie too, and he had made her a promise. Jake dipped his head and kissed Amber’s full lips. He almost threw the covers back and got in with her, but he knew that she needed sleep. He gazed down as Amber’s eyes started to flutter shut and he decided that once he and Luke got back from their TV interview tomorrow he’d tell her about going back to LA. He just hoped that she didn’t ask too many questions.

  “Night, Freckles,” he whispered and kissed her forehead.

  “Night Jake,” Amber replied turning away from him so that he couldn’t see the tears that were now crawling down her cheeks.

  Chapter 22

  Amber was alone in the house, packing her suitcase and making ready to leave. She had lain awake since three in the morning, contemplating what to do and the only conclusion was for her to go away and try and forget Jake. Unfortunately, running away also meant leaving her family and job behind too.

  Today was a good day to leave as no one was at home. Martha had taken Rocco and Lucia to London to see Betty and Noah for a couple of days; and Luke, Jake and Skins were in Manchester to do a TV interview. Amber knew that if anyone had been home she’d have either chickened out or they’d have persuaded her to stay so, with a heavy sadness weighing
on her shoulders, she made her plans quickly.

  She knew that it was all probably a little dramatic, and cowardly. She knew that she should just have a frank conversation with Jake. She should be able to hear the words that would break her, split up with him, cry and then act like adults and get on with things, but she couldn’t. Amber also knew that it would kill her to be around Jake and his ‘sweetheart’ or whoever else he took into his bed. She couldn’t be adult about someone else enjoying Jake’s smiles, his jokes and his tenderness.

  Shuddering back a sob, tears dropped onto Amber’s clothes in the case. She scrubbed her hand across her face, but as soon as it was dried more tears of despair fell, making it wet again. She felt more dismal than she had when she’d left Daniel, if that was even possible. The difference was Daniel never, ever made her feel like Jake did. He never made her feel special and cared for; he very rarely did anything specifically to make her happy – not like Jake.

  With a sigh, Amber closed her suitcase and picked it up, pulling it downstairs into the hallway. Reaching into her handbag she pulled out two envelopes, one addressed to Jake and the other to Luke. She propped them up against the mirror above the hall table, and then fished her mobile out of her jeans pocket. After dialling a number. she waited a few seconds for it to be answered.

  “What?” The voice on the other end was gruff and offhand.

  “Daniel, we need to talk.”

  She was gone and it hurt like hell. His stomach flip flopped over and over and the pain in his chest felt like a hammer was battering against his heart. Jake ran a hand through his hair and re-read Amber’s words, just in case he had missed anything.

  Dear Jake,

  I know this is a coward’s way of doing this, but I am a coward and really can’t face you. I’ve loved every minute of our time together, but it’s made me realise that while it’s been fun, it isn’t what I had with Daniel. So, there’s only one thing to do and that’s to find him and see if we can get back what we once had.

  I know you probably think that I’m being stupid by doing this, but I have to give it a go.

  Be happy and keep up with the cooking, you really are getting better.

  Amber xx

  p.s. I hope the house gets finished soon

  Jake groaned. There was no mention of whether she loved him or even cared about him, just that they’d had fun. He also couldn’t believe the fact she said that she wanted to be with Daniel. If Jake didn’t know better, he would think that she had been kidnapped and forced to write such a letter. It wasn’t particularly cold, but it certainly didn’t show the warm, loving and tender Freckles that he’d spent the last couple of months with. He wondered if he had got it all wrong, whether he had misjudged how they were starting to feel about each other. As Jake flopped back onto his bed, clutching the letter to his chest, there was a knock on his door. Jake shook his head in disbelief, wondering why Luke hadn’t just barged in, like the arrogant tool he knew and loved.

  “Come in,” he called sitting up ready for Luke’s onslaught.

  “You okay, bud?” Luke asked, standing in the doorway.

  Jake’s mouth dropped in surprise. “What, you’re not going to punch my lights out?”

  Luke shook his head and waved Amber’s letter to him in the air. “Nope. You know she’s gone back to that douche Daniel?”

  “To the point as ever, Luke. But yeah, I know,” Jake replied with a heavy sigh, holding up his own letter. “I just don’t get it.”

  “Me neither. I spoke to Martha and according to her, Amber told her yesterday that she wanted to be with you, then that Daniel dick turned up.”

  Jake stood up and stalked towards Luke, stopping toe to toe with him. “When? The fucking piece of shit.” His face screwed into a scowl as he snatched the letter from Luke’s fingers. Jake’s eyes scanned it quickly, but it didn’t tell him anything other than his own letter did.

  Luke gently laid a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “It doesn’t mention it in there. Apparently, it was outside the shop, but Martha reckons Amber gave him a swift knee to the bollocks.” Luke sighed. “It just doesn’t add up, why would she do that and then leave to be with him?”

  Jake turned away and paced towards the bedroom window, staring out at the beautifully manicured garden below. He thought about how sudden it was - they were both happy as far as Jake was concerned. He acknowledged that his plan to go to L.A. had muddied his own mood for a while, but Freckles had seemed fine.

  “I must admit, I didn’t buy that headache she said she had last night,” Luke said interrupting Jake’s thoughts. “You sure you didn’t upset her?”

  Jake swung around to face Luke. “No, I was in a bit of a mood, but it was nothing to do with Freckles.”

  “Well, she thought it was. She came and busted my chops, accusing me of upsetting you.”

  “What did you say?” Jake asked, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew it would have been when she got back from her walk, when he’d just finished booking his flight to L.A. – she had asked him then if he was okay. Surely that hadn’t made her run.

  “I told her to talk to you.”

  Jake shook his head. “Well she didn’t.”

  “And how was she when you sneaked into her room later?” Luke asked with a small smile.

  Jake took a step back and looked at him in astonishment. “You knew?”

  Luke nodded and laughed quietly. “Yep, we have a baby remember. I’m a light sleeper these days.”

  Jake blew out a long breath. “She was asleep and looked so peaceful that I didn’t stay. I just kissed her and left.”

  Luke moved to sit on the edge of Jake’s bed. “She give you a forwarding address or anything?” he asked hopefully.

  “No, you neither I take it?”

  Luke shook his head. Jake moved back to the window and rested his forehead against the cool glass. He just had to face it, Freckles was gone, and he wasn’t who she wanted. At least that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about the situation in L.A. He was needed there and he wasn’t sure for how long. Jake knew that he would have to make a choice about where to be at some point, and he wasn’t sure he could.

  Suddenly Jake turned to Luke. “I have to go back to L.A. for a while.”

  “Hey come on Jake, don’t leave. I know I gave you shit about you hooking up with Amber, but I don’t blame you for her leaving. I’m just mad that she left without talking to any of us about it.”

  Jake shook his head. “No, I was going anyway. There’s some stuff I need to sort out.”

  “Are you okay though?” Luke asked, standing up. “I know you liked her ‘a lot’.” He smiled, remembering Jake’s words.

  “Yep, I’m fine. I can’t force her to stay if she wants to be with him. And, yeah, I did like her a lot, but it’s not like we were falling in love or anything.” Jake coughed to get rid of the lump of sadness that had risen in his throat. “I mean me, fall in love? Nah. It was just fun while it lasted.”

  Luke sighed and gently punched Jake’s arm. “Okay, but don’t feel as though you have to go.”

  “No, I don’t dude, seriously. I just have stuff I need to sort.” Jake hugged Luke and tried to feel positive that at least now Freckles wouldn’t be distracting him. He had made a promise and now he could fulfil that without worry or guilt.

  Chapter 23

  It had been almost five months since Amber had left Jake and every day had been just as hard as the day before. She had hoped that the aching yearning for him would subside with time, but it hadn’t. It had only increased.

  After just a week, Amber had realised that she’d done the wrong thing. She knew that she should have stayed and confronted him; told him how she felt about him and maybe he would have told her he felt the same. But as she considered the possibility of going back, Amber remembered the phone call that she had overheard, and knew that going back wasn’t an option.

  “Bloody hell, I’m knackered.” Marnie, Amber’s young colleague, flopped down onto a chair be
hind the hotel reception desk.

  Amber smiled knowingly. “Late night?” she asked.

  Marnie grinned and wiggled her eyebrows. “Yeah, but totally worth it darl’.”

  Amber laughed and continued working through the guests’ bills. She had been working at the Regina Hotel in Margate for four months and, aside from missing Jake, had loved every minute of it. The other two daytime receptionists, Marnie and Steph, had made Amber feel welcome from the minute she had walked through the door. They were both in their early twenties; Marnie blonde and busty and Steph, brunette and petite, and were two of the kindest girls Amber had ever met. They’d immediately invited her out for a night at the cinema and then dinner, and an ongoing invitation to Friday night drinks.

  “You on the eight o clock finish today?” Amber asked. Marnie was resting her head on one hand and had her eyes closed.

  “Ugh, don’t remind me,” she groaned without opening her eyes. “What about you?”

  “Four today. I am so ready for three days off too.”

  “Mmm, make the most of it, because once December gets here all the regulars will be arriving for their month long bloody Christmas holiday.”

  Marnie sighed and she settled further down into her chair. After a few minutes, the silence was broken when Steph rushed into the reception.

  “OMG, to say I’m gutted is an understatement,” she cried, slamming an open magazine down on the reception desk.

  “And hello to you too,” Amber replied with raised eyebrows. “What are you so gutted about anyway?”

  “Huh,” Marnie groaned. “Probably nothing important.” She sat up and frowned at Steph. “Some of us were trying to sleep.”

  Amber smiled. “And some of us were actually trying to work.”

  “Oh don’t be so boring you two.” Steph lifted up the flap of the reception desk and joined her colleagues. “This is far more important than sleep or work.” She pushed past Marnie’s chair and stabbed her finger at the open page of the magazine. “Look!”