Designing Hearts

by Robin Strachan

  “I’d like to see some symbols of relationships in this room. After all, the bedroom is a pretty important place in a relationship.” Jill winked. “What about twin rose-colored candles in ceramic or metal candleholders?”

  “I have some glass candleholders. Will that be okay?”

  “Glass represents water and will put out the flames of love. Just place the candles together on the bedside table. The other side of the bed—where a partner would sleep.”

  Kristen sat at the foot of the bed. “Do you think I should paint this room pink, too?”

  “I wouldn’t go that far. If I’ve got my bearings, this room is in the prosperity corner of the house. Is that right?”

  Kristen nodded. “What about soft lavender?”

  “If you like, that would be fine. But actually, this airy green paint, the warm wood furniture, and the accessory colors you’ve chosen are perfect for the prosperity corner. Even though this isn’t the relationship corner, remember that prosperity is about more than just money. It’s about the number and quality of the relationships in our lives, too. We want to prosper in the amount of love in our lives.”

  “I get it,” Kristen, said, her eyes shining now.

  Jill’s eyes took in the perimeter of the room. “It’d be great to have photos that show two of something. That would symbolize a relationship.”

  “I have a photo of two swans with their necks intertwined to create a heart.” Kristen hurried to the walk-in closet, where Jill could hear tissue paper rustling. “Here it is.”

  “That’s nice. With those swans, the two candles, and the two bedside tables, I think the stage is set.”

  “I think I told you that I didn’t have a very good experience with online dating sites.” Kristen rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure I’m ready to go that route again.”

  “Was it that bad?”

  “Not all bad. I did meet a couple of nice men, but they wanted someone different, I guess. You have to be really careful because not all of the people you meet are honest—or even single. I’m sure it’s not just men who do this, but one guy I dated a few times was actually still married, not even separated. Another guy was a swinger.”

  “You mean—?”

  “Yes. I mean that he wanted to invite another couple to ‘join us sometime.’ We hadn’t gotten that far in the relationship yet, so it was lucky I found out about him early on.”

  “Gah!” Jill exclaimed. “Different strokes for different folks, I guess. But I can’t imagine someone actually bringing that up so early in the dating process. He must have been pretty intent on finding someone who shared his preferences.” She raised her eyebrows. “You’re lucky you found out before you risked your health with someone like that. Wow, you really have been through the wringer.”

  “I want a relationship, but the truth is that I’m afraid of dating.”

  “I wonder if you’d be more likely to find the ideal man if you met him while doing something else that you really enjoy, by happenstance.”

  “That’s true. I met my fiancé through the bar association. We were all about our work and not a lot else.”

  “I mean fun things. What other activities do you enjoy? Do you paint, sing? Can you cook?”

  “I like to sing!” Kristen’s eyes lit up. “I’ve thought about trying out for the community choir.”

  “That sounds like a great place to start—after you finish enhancing your kitchen and this bedroom. Just make sure you believe that while you’re enjoying yourself in the choir and waiting for Mr. Right, he’s looking for you, too.”

  During a casual lunch with Tom the next day, Jill had her own very un-businesslike agenda. “So, how are things going with Trish?” she asked as she daintily bit into her sandwich, averting her eyes from Tom’s and trying to act nonchalant. In reality, she was dying to know how their relationship was progressing. Tom wasn’t much for talking about his feelings, but she sensed a new lightness of being about him these days. The plot had thickened last evening when Jill and Trish walked to their cars after class. Trish informed her that she was “head over heels” and hoped Tom felt the same.

  Tom paused and took a large gulp of his iced tea. He stiffened slightly at the question, but then his eyes softened. “After Janice died, I had at least a thousand memories that hit me like punches to the gut of all the things I appreciated about her but hadn’t bothered to tell her—mostly small stuff like the way she waited until I took my first bite of something so she could see whether I liked it before she tried it herself.”

  “Maybe she was trying to make sure she wasn’t poisoning you. Janice hated cooking,” Jill said with a chortle. “She was my friend, so I can say that.”

  “Okay, so that wasn’t such a good example.” Tom grinned. “It’s tough to explain all the ways she put me first. On some level, I recognized it, of course, but I don’t think I appreciated her as I should have, and I certainly didn’t tell her enough how much I loved her. I thought I was ready to jump in to love again with both feet, but I don’t want to make the same mistake with Trish. She deserves to know how much she’s loved.”

  Loved. He said loved. Jill blinked several times in delight. “Trish is a grownup, Tom. She has experienced heartbreak and difficult times just like you have, but I think rather than hardening her heart, they’ve added to her strength and patience. She had a great life with her husband, she thought, and then lost it all quite suddenly like you did when Janice died. She can appreciate what it means to be cared for by someone stable and grounded like you. From what I can tell, she’s always been a giver, too. But you’re right: she deserves to get as much as she gives. Just do your best to show her how you feel.”

  “The way Janice died ….” He flinched at the memory. “She handed me coffee, and I took a sip and handed the cup back to her before I flew out the door. I think I kissed her goodbye. I’m pretty sure I did, but I’m recalling that it was one of those perfunctory kisses, one that you do without thinking much about it. She died just a few hours later. I wish I had thanked her for being such a good wife, really taken the time to sit down and enjoy my coffee with her that morning. I’m not sure I could stand to lose another woman I loved.”

  Tom rolled his straw wrapper between his thumb and forefinger until it was the size of a dried pea. Then he grabbed Jill’s wrapper and started to do the same with it. Jill watched him and knew that he would get through this, but that he needed encouragement and patience. Trish could do that. She was the ideal woman for Tom.

  “Given your recent health issues, Trish could worry about losing you enough to walk away as well, but I know that’s not the case. Don’t shut down your heart, honey. The doctor fixed it all brand new.” She took his hand. “Trish is healthy, and you’re healthier now, too. I’m sure you’ll have many good years together.”

  Tom catapulted the paper peas one at a time across the table. “Jill, I wanted to talk with you about something very serious. It’s not about Trish.”

  Jill had a sudden churning in her stomach. Did Tom already know about Denny? If so, what was the best way to respond? “What’s up?” she asked, averting her eyes.

  “I’ve decided to move to San Diego to be closer to Meghan and her husband. With Meghan pregnant now and with her busy career, I’d like to know my grandchild and help my daughter. I know I’ve told you before that I’ve always wanted to live in California, but I was never ready to pull the trigger until recently.”

  “Tom!” Jill’s eyes flew open, and she clutched the table with both hands. “Can’t you just spend a few weeks or a month there, now and then, and still continue as managing partner here? You could go back and forth. You can’t just abandon us all … Trish … me.”

  “First of all, yes, I could go back and forth, and I will for a while. I’ll transition slowly until I know that everything is under control under the new managing partner. But then I want to be in California permanently. I think it was the heart attack that convinced me not to put what I want on hold.”


  “But what about Trish?” Jill wailed.

  “Trish is definitely included in my plans, if she wants to be. We haven’t been seeing each other very long, just a few weeks, but I know how I feel about her right now, and I think she feels the same. We’ve talked a little bit about future plans, and she thinks she’d enjoy the change of scenery. She can get away from all the not-great memories here and make new ones with me. She doesn’t have to worry about selling a house, so she can join me whenever she’s ready. I hope that will be soon, but I can be patient, if she’s not quite ready yet.”

  “Oh.” Jill was silent, absorbing the news. “Of course, you ought to have what you want in life. I guess I’ve never thought about you not being here, though. I’m trying not to be selfish, but to tell you the truth, what I really want to do right now is have a tantrum.” She smiled wanly.

  “Please don’t do that.” Tom grinned. “I should also explain something. Although you’re a full partner and the one with the most history at the company other than me, I think we need a managing partner with architectural experience and an MBA to take over the top spot. I’m thinking of Charlie Johnson.” He peered at her cautiously, gauging her response with his calm, steady eyes.

  “I don’t have a problem with that, Tom.” Jill met his gaze directly. “I’ve always been content to do my design work without having to worry so much about the business end of things.”

  Tom breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you’re not upset. Besides, didn’t you say you wanted to keep teaching the feng shui class? And now, you’ll have the television show, too. This way, you’ll have time to do that.”

  Jill smiled. “I do enjoy teaching, and I’m really excited about the television show. What a surprise, huh? When I look back at the day you suggested I teach that class, I feel like you were talking to a whole different person. But yes, I also want time to spend with my family, especially now that Missy is pregnant.”

  “Trish said last night she thinks you might have a new man in your life. ‘She’s got that glow,’ was the way she put it. Is it true?”

  “I do.” Jill blushed clear to the roots of her hair. “I haven’t told you yet because I was worried you might have a problem with it. But I’ve always intended to tell you, eventually. I’m seeing Denny MacBride.”

  Tom chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Did you think I couldn’t figure that out? I sign the checks, remember? MacBride’s the only painting contractor you’ve used the past two billing cycles. I thought at first that you were just impressed with his painting skills. But then, while I was at your house, I thought I recognized definite ‘mooning behavior,’ and I knew there was something else going on.”

  “ ‘Mooning behavior’? I have never mooned in my life.”

  Tom gave a hearty laugh. Jill kicked him under the table. Then she held up a warning finger. “I mean it. If you tell anyone else at the company about Denny, I’ll tell Trish about your affinity for late-night chick flicks.”

  “She already knows.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Denny showed up promptly at the stroke of seven o’clock that evening for dinner as Jill tossed a Caesar salad.

  “I smell garlic,” he said hopefully, grabbing her about the waist and kissing her until she had to step away to take a breath. He held her hand up to his nose and inhaled her fingers as though they were a Cuban cigar. “Aye, garlic is a fine perfume.”

  “As long as we’re both eating it,” Jill replied. She peeked inside the oven, saw that the parchment paper surrounding the tilapia filets was browning, and removed the pan.

  “I brought a nice sauvignon blanc,” he said as he opened and shut drawers in search of a corkscrew. “I thought you might enjoy it, for a change.”

  Jill produced a corkscrew. “You have impeccable taste in wine,” she said as she arranged tilapia filets on each plate with a generous helping of salad. Then she placed crusty French bread in a basket with a small serving dish of herbed butter.

  “How are things at work?” Denny asked. “I’d imagine the place is still spinning with the big news.”

  “Tom’s announcement that he’s moving to California has been hard on our partners and staff. Then, of course, there are the financial and legal issues of selling off his share of the business to the rest of us.” She sighed. “We’ve always had a plan in place for partners who want to leave, but I’m still a little off-balance from the news. This is Tom we’re talking about.”

  “The heart attack did it, eh?”

  “Well, yes—that and a grandchild due in the spring. But I think it’s also about meeting Trish and wanting to move forward with his life. He says he doesn’t want to wait any longer to do the things he’s always wanted to do.”

  “That must’ve been hard for you to hear. Did you have any idea that he was plannin’ to do this before he told you?”

  “He’s talked about California off and on for a long time. I guess I’ve been in denial again, but I thought he was happy here now that he was involved with Trish. His absence won’t affect the way I do my work, but the whole environment at the company will change. Tom wasn’t just the managing partner. He founded the company and set the tone for the creative environment. I can’t even remember a time when he and I haven’t worked together.”

  “It might be time to think about what comes next in your life—professionally, I mean. You’ll have your design work plus the television show. Can you do both?” Denny took a bite of tilapia. “This is really good.” He dug into the Caesar salad with relish.

  Jill was quiet. “I don’t know. I’ll just have to try it and see. Gosh, it’s hard to think about even more life changes.”

  “Not all changes have to be hard, Jill. I think back to the way I came to America. I wouldn’t have thought of doing it on my own. Sometimes we get pushed into changes, or they happen unexpectedly, and we either embrace or fear them.”

  Jill looked intently at him. “Do you have any fears?”

  Denny looked serious. “Sure, I do. I wonder if my maw is going to die anytime soon and will I see her before that happens? Every time I stand in front of the easel to paint, I fear that nothing will come. I fear growing old alone.”

  His plaintive look touched her. Jill recognized that he sought reassurance. Taking a sip of wine before responding, she said, “I’ve never really been alone until recently. Alone time can be energizing, I’ve learned, but it’s still nicer to have someone special in my life.”

  “I feel the same. I’d like to do more traveling, but not by myself. Perhaps we might consider a trip to Scotland so you can see where I come from.”

  “I’d love that. I’ve never been to Scotland, but I’ve thought about going there for years.”

  “It’s beautiful. I think you’d enjoy it. We can visit my family and then drive around and see other parts of the country, if you like.”

  “I do want to see where you grew up,” Jill said. “You know so much more about me than I know about you. I want to meet the people who most influenced who you are now.”

  Denny laughed. “Well, sometimes even the people and situations we don’t remember with such fondness contribute to who we become. But yes, my family had a lot to do with who I am now. My family was verra close, like yours is, and they’ll all want to meet you. Meeting my brothers and sisters will tell you a lot about how we were raised. They’re all great people. I think you’ll get on well with my maw too, and that she’ll like you.”

  “I hope so,” Jill said quickly. “What if she doesn’t?”

  “Don’t worry, love. Maw wasn’t keen on my fiancée, Cara, and wasn’t a bit upset that I broke things off with her. You see, Cara was difficult and demanding, quick to show temper. You, on the other hand, are a lamb. You’ve similar personalities and you’re both easygoing and devoted to those you love.” Denny grinned suddenly. “And speaking of difficult and demanding, I forgot to tell you that Miss Mona is thinking of another color change.”

  “Good grief!
I’ll call her first thing.” Jill clucked her tongue. “You’ve been very patient with her, considering all the changes she’s wanted. It must get tiresome dodging her passes, too.”

  Denny’s grin grew broader. “Aye, it’s a burden.”

  “I don’t understand that kind of desperate behavior to find love,” Jill said, shaking her head. She told Denny about visiting Kristen at her home. “Kristen is such a wonderful person and such a beautiful woman—a much better catch than Mona. Yet she’s had such a hard time meeting a man. She was telling me about all the experiences she’s had with Internet dating sites. Have you ever done that?”

  “I tried it a few times. It wasn’t bad at all. I’m not suggesting you try it, though!” He glanced up in mock alarm.

  Jill smiled sweetly. “I’m not even tempted. But speaking of temptation, I’ve got dessert planned in the other room.”

  “Should I make a fire?”

  Jill took his hand and drew him to his feet. “I wasn’t thinking about building a fire, although that’s a nice idea, too. I thought we’d warm up another way. Rubbing two sticks together isn’t the only way to start a fire, you know.”

  “Does your mother know how you talk?”

  Wine glasses in hand, they made their way upstairs to Jill’s master suite, where she lit the lamps on either side of the four-poster bed. “In feng shui, this is the relationship corner of the house. I’m intending to enhance our relationship tonight, starting right now.”

  She smiled and started to take off Denny’s sweater. He finished the job while she started in on the buttons of his shirt. She inhaled Denny’s warm, masculine smell, so familiar and dear to her now. He buried his face in her neck, peppering warm kisses there from her jaw to her shoulder. Wordlessly, he raised the silk sweater over her head, tossed it aside, and unbuttoned her jeans. Then she unhooked her bra and let it drop, standing very still as Denny placed his hands on her breasts and kissed her more deeply. Lifting her into his arms, he laid her gently on the bed and quickly finished undressing.