by Jenika Snow
* * * *
A week had passed since her dinner with Adrian. Since then they had gone out to coffee and lunch. Brea wished she could say going out with him that first night had been a mistake, that her instincts had been correct, but it would be a lie. Adrian might seem frightening in the cage, but with her he was sweet, gentle, and considerate. It might have only been a week and they might have only been out a few times, but she couldn’t remember another time when she had felt so comfortable with someone.
Adrian’s massive presence didn’t hinder the fact that he was a gentle giant with her. She had realized that after their first dinner. Lying on her bed, she stared at the stained ceiling and felt her lips tingle in remembrance of their kiss. Her fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, running over her bottom lip, the lip that he had sucked on gently.
Their lunch today had been simple, but it had been so much more for her. His light banter, the way he teased her had made her feel at ease. It had been so long since she had felt the emotion that it scared and confused her all in the same breath. They had sat at the little bistro on the corner of Sandwell. The air had been slightly chilly, but the sun had been high and she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. He had been wearing a pair of faded jeans and a plain tee. One would think attire so simple couldn’t possibly make a man look hotter than hell, but boy would they be wrong. She still hadn’t told Adrian where she lived, but he hadn’t pushed her on the issue. His understanding went a long way toward making her trust in him grow. It was still early in their…whatever the hell they were. There was no rush for anything. Well, that actually wasn’t true. She still planned on getting the hell away once she saved enough money, but now that she was spending all this time with Adrian, there was a slight ache in her chest at the thought of leaving. Her life was now one of jumping back and forth to different towns, trying to elude Cameron if he ever found her. She feared staying in one place for too long would lead to her ultimate demise. She couldn’t dwell on it though because nothing and no one would change her mind.
Her cell dinged an incoming text and she smiled because she knew exactly who it was. Only one person would text her, had texted her since she started living in this town.
I can’t stop smiling because all I can think about is you.
If Brea was the type of girl to swoon and giggle she would have right then and there after reading his text. Maybe she was letting her heart and emotions get in the way, but ever since seeing him that first time she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. He had already far surpassed her expectations of how she had always wanted a man to treat her, but the one question that kept rearing its ugly-ass head was if all of this was too good to be true.
If Adrian was too good to be true.
* * * *
Adrian watched as his opponent fell to the blood-covered mat. His knuckles were swollen and split open, but the pain couldn’t mask the euphoria he was currently feeling. He tracked Brea’s movements in the crowd with his eyes and something inside of him was slowly growing, warming. Just watching this girl had his blood pumping a little faster. The more time he spent with her the more he was finding it harder to keep his distance physically. They kissed constantly, but it was getting harder and harder. Pun intended. He found himself going home and jerking off nightly. Even though he wanted her under him, wanted to have his cock buried between her thighs, he was letting her take control. She hadn’t opened up about her past or anything personal for that matter, but Adrian wasn’t worried about it. For once, since Addie, Adrian was finally letting himself feel something besides anger and hatred. Just a look upon Brea’s sweet face pushed all thoughts of his past away. He knew he would have to tell Brea everything eventually, and the more he spent time with her the harder it was not telling her the truth about who he really was.
Brea glanced up at him and their eyes locked. It never failed. Just that one look and he wanted to jump over the damn cage and wrap her in his arms. Hell, he was acting like a fucking caveman. The chemistry between them was explosive.
“Dayum, man. You are one fucking animal in the cage.” Coots slapped him on the back and Adrian tensed. He didn’t know Coots well enough to be chummy. A thick envelope was thrust at him and he took it and ducked into the side room to get cleaned up. He had just finished his last fight for the night. He wanted to take her to the coast and walk on the beach with her. When he asked her a week ago he had seen the leeriness written all over her face, but to his utter surprise she had agreed to go, even suggested they stay the night so they could walk on the beach when the sun rose.
It was about an hour-and-a-half drive, so, stripping off his sweat-soaked clothes, he cleaned the blood off. For the first time since Addie’s death, Adrian felt excitement for the next day.
Chapter Seven
When Adrian pulled his truck onto the strip of asphalt that overlooked the beach, Brea couldn’t contain the excitement bubbling inside of her. It still surprised her that she had agreed to go, and even shocked her that she suggested they spend the night. A lot of things could happen tonight, and she might have been a little nervous about that, but she was also looking forward to it. The month since meeting Adrian had opened up a lot of feelings inside of her. Deep down she knew sleeping with Adrian was the worst thing she could possibly do, but God did she want him. So freaking bad.
She had lived less than two hours from the beach but had never ventured out to it despite her desire to do so. The wall she had erected had crumbled when she allowed Adrian to pick her up at her house. For that one moment when she saw him pull into her driveway her heart had raced with fear, but once she saw him emerge from the vehicle and walk up to her with a smile on his face, that fear had dissolved and unadulterated happiness took its place. Adrian was not Cameron and she needed to remember that.
The weeks were passing and she was thoroughly enjoying her time with Adrian. He was changing things in her. Their kissing had since moved up to light touches, but the ache between her thighs was slowly growing. Oh, she had felt Adrian’s desire to be with her, all of his impressive inches, but there was always something that stopped them from going any further. Maybe it was a sign from above that she shouldn’t go any further. Or maybe she needed to tell that sign to shut the fuck up because she deserved this. Deserved to be happy.
Even now she was wet, and on more than one occasion she found herself lying on her bed, thinking of Adrian and rubbing herself to completion. She wanted him, desperately, and she was going to take that next step. The only memories she had that were associated with sex were painful and riddled with fear. It was getting easier to let that wall down as well, but she worried that once she finally left she would have to rebuild it.
Turning in her seat, she pushed away all of her worries and beamed up at him. “You took me to the beach.” It wasn’t a question. His smile was lopsided and he reached a hand out and caressed her cheek. Brea couldn’t help but lean into his embrace.
“Come here, Brea.” His words were low and slightly husky and she could see the desire growing on Adrian’s expression. Instantly she became aroused. Nipples tightening to the point of pain, she squirmed in her seat as her panties started to become soaked.
Thankfully his truck allowed for her to scoot over easily. She did, however, have to lift her leg over the gearshift. She was wearing a dress today and her movements caused the material to shift up her thighs. When she lifted her gaze to his she noticed he was staring at the patch of skin that was exposed. He swallowed audibly and then snapped his eyes to hers. His grin was almost sheepish and she couldn’t help but lean into his chest to hide her own smile.
“Brea.” He whispered her name and used his finger to lift her chin. His face was close to hers, so close that if she just craned her neck a little more their mouths would brush together.
“Yes?” God she wanted him to kiss her, desperately. She had never been the one to initiate their physical contact, but maybe that should change? Lifting her hand and cupping his cheek, a heady
feeling washed through her when she saw him close his eyes and sigh. She didn’t waste any more time or deny herself any longer. She pressed her lips to his, loving the small growl that he made from the contact. The kiss started off slow and easy, but soon he was taking control. Tongues moving together, the act mimicked the sex she wanted to have with him. As the kiss intensified, she knew she wanted more. Her body positively ached for him, but before it got any more heated, Adrian slowed the kiss and then pulled away. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily with his eyes closed. When he pulled away it was too soon. Brea wanted more.
“I’m sorry.” He ran his hand over his jaw and stared out the windshield. She couldn’t take her eyes off him as the setting sun washed his face in hues of pink and yellow. “I’m trying to go slow but it’s so damn hard.” He cut a glance at her. “I want you too much.”
Her heart stopped. As she licked her lips, Adrian tracked the movement and another groan left him. Adrenaline rushed through her body at the way he was watching her. Hearing him confess how much he wanted her had her arousal accelerating. She knew she wanted more, but when she actually went for it would she freeze and blow everything? She didn’t like keeping things from him, and she had a lot of shit from her past that would most likely have him running in the other direction. Could she be selfish and just let herself enjoy it? Even if it was just for a little while?
Her experience in seducing a man was zilch, but she pictured in her mind what she wanted to do and it seemed easy enough. Moving so close to him that there wasn’t an inch separating their bodies, Brea gathered all her strength and slid her hand on his thigh. The muscles under her palm tensed as she slowly started to move her hand up, closer to where she wanted to go.
“Brea? What are you doing?” He sounded almost pained and she stopped, fearing she wasn’t doing it right.
“I’m sorry. I don’t really know what I’m doing.” She went to move her hand away but he put his on top to stop her retreat. The look in his eyes made her feel a little embarrassed. “I’m not a virgin or anything, I just—” God, it sounded horrible hearing it come out of her mouth. “I’m just not that experienced. I’m sorry.” She felt her face heat, but he didn’t let her slide back to the passenger seat.
“What you’re doing feels so good, Brea. So. Fucking. Good. Come here.” The command was low, but held so much promise and desire that she couldn’t not obey it. When she was pressed against his side again she kept her head low. Heat and desire were still strong inside of her. “Look at me.” Voice pitched low, his breath blew wisps of hair around her cheek. A shiver raced up her spine from that small, almost innocent act.
Finding the courage to look at him after she just divulged that little tidbit and after hearing his desire for her was harder than she thought, but when she was finally able to lift her eyes to his she was shocked by the raw lust reflected in his face.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of.” He took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You being honest about your experience just makes me want you more.” He leaned in and Brea had to force her eyes to stay open. Just having him be so close, being able to smell his intoxicating cologne had her on the verge of moaning. “There is nothing you can say or do that would make me want you any less.”
When his words sank in, dread settled in her. Oh, there was plenty she could tell him that would have him singing a completely different tune. She didn’t even want to imagine the look of disgust when and if he ever saw her scars.
“Look at me. I want you to see how much I want you.” Their eyes stayed locked and her breath caught at the intensity in his expression. “You’re beautiful, Brea. Inside and out.” He dipped his head to kiss her lightly. To her disappointment he didn’t deepen the kiss, but ended it far too soon. “Whatever happened to you does not shape who you are as a person. It might control you temporarily, but inside, under all that hurt and pain, is the real you just waiting to be awakened.”
The way he talked, so passionately, led Brea to believe that maybe he was referring to himself instead of her. She would like to believe what he said, but there was a part of her that knew she was ruined. She was broken by Cameron and even though she could be put back together, there would always be those fissures that showed the world she wasn’t whole. The idea that Adrian wanted her, despite his obvious comment that he knew she had a past, had her chest warming, but those types of thoughts were a fantasy. She would let herself enjoy her time with him and then when she needed to go she wouldn’t look back. It was safer that way for both of them.
Not thinking, just needing to feel him, Brea closed the distance that separated them and kissed him, hard and with as much passion as she felt for him. His grunt of surprise spurred her on. Her clit throbbed and her pussy ached to be filled. Sliding her hand back on his thigh, she moved quickly for fear that he would try and stop her again or she would lose her nerve. His thigh was thick and muscular, and when she reached the hard, thick length straining against the material an involuntary moan left her. As if that sound broke him, Adrian gripped her shoulders and pulled her impossibly close.
Her hand curled around the iron-hard ridge and a shudder went through his body. “I want you so fucking bad, Brea.” His hips jacked up in her grip and a thrill went through her. One of his hands slid off her shoulder and made a slow trek down her side and rested on top of her thigh. The heat from his touch went straight through the thin material. In the next instant he gripped her thigh and pulled her on top of him. She straddled his waist, their kiss never breaking. Both of his hands were now gripping her waist and he pressed her down on him at the same time that he lifted his hips.
“Ohhh.” She closed her eyes as her pussy, covered only in thin silk, pressed aggressively against his jean-clad cock. The need to feel more of him, all of him, was so strong she had to break the kiss and gasp for air.
“I want so much more of you.” Adrian started kissing her neck and Brea tilted her head to the side, relishing in the feel of his lips and tongue sliding along the uber-sensitive spot right below her ear. His deep chuckle sent vibrations straight to her clit. “Like that, don’t you, baby?” He ran his tongue over the spot in question and she shivered again. “I want inside of you so bad, baby.”
A gasp left her at his blunt statement. A warm wave washed through her and she found herself grinding herself on him wantonly. Brain fuzzy from desire, Brea was vaguely aware of Adrian’s palms sliding over her ass and cupping the mounds. The pleasure was incredible, but like everything else in her life, she felt her past taking over a happy moment. Her breath started sawing in and out of her and everything around her grew dim as a panic attack threatened to take hold.
Chapter Eight
She felt so good on top of him. So. Fucking. Good. Her body was petite but curvy in all the right spots. Her skin tasted so good. Like vanilla and peaches. God, he loved that combination. The way her body shivered slightly as he licked the spot right below her ear had him so fucking hard he thought for sure he would bust right through the damn zipper. When he cupped her perfectly apple-shaped ass he would have growled in approval but the way she tensed and the way her breathing changed had him instantly stopping and pulling back.
“Baby?” Brea had this faraway look in her eyes and he knew if he didn’t bring her back now she would slip deeper into whatever memory was dragging her down. “Brea, look at me. Look. At. Me.” She seemed to snap out of it and dropped her head to the crook of his neck. When her body started to shake in great wracking sobs Adrian wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. She was crying, and it tore him up inside. He didn’t ask her what was wrong. He just let her cry it out. He wanted her to open up, but he wasn’t about to push her. He knew better than anyone that if someone tried and pushed him into opening up before he was ready it just caused that door to slam shut harder.
They sat there for a long while before her sobs stopped and she pulled away. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy, and tears continued to
flow down her cheeks. He didn’t deny himself from lifting his hands and brushing her tears away with his thumbs. He brought one damp digit to his mouth and kissed, all the while holding her gaze. “I’m here if you want to talk.” She looked out the driver-side window and swallowed. That image broke his fucking heart. When she finally looked back at him she didn’t say anything, just nodded.
“I know. Thank you.” She made a move to get off his lap but he didn’t want her to leave just yet. Even if all he did was hold her, that would be enough.
“I just want to hold you, Brea. Just let me hold you, baby.” Pulling her close he held her tighter while she rested her head back in the crook of his neck. They stayed like that and she became so still that Adrian wondered if she had fallen asleep.
“Can we take a walk on the beach?” Voice soft and muffled, Brea whispered against his neck. He liked having her pressed against him, liked being the shoulder she used to cry on. The thing he didn’t like, that pissed him the fuck off was the fact someone had instilled this type of reaction in her.
“Of course.” He opened his door and helped her out. They headed toward the beach and Adrian reached out and took hold of her hand, twining her fingers with his. It was the middle of the week so the beach was all but deserted at this time of day. The sun was setting over the horizon, and there was a hint of pink that touched the farthest recesses of the ocean. They held hands but Brea took the lead. She walked until they were standing at the shoreline, the water rushing toward their feet. Brea laughed and ran before the water got her. The sound of her laughter made his chest ache. It sounded so damn good to hear her sound happy.