That’s why I’m sitting here on the beach, crying, like I do every night. I live for the daytime because it’s full of distractions. When I’m working at the resort or talking with Layla, I don’t think about how much I miss my mom. I don’t replay all those horrific scenes I walked into that night.
At night, when everyone else is asleep, it’s all I think about. Every time I close my eyes, I’m either jolted awake from visions of my mother on that kitchen floor or nightmares of Sal and his goons finding out where I am.
I haven’t slept through an entire night since then, and I’m beginning to think I never will again. I feel like I’m constantly on watch. Every noise I hear in the dark makes my heart stop. Realistically, I know the likelihood of Sal’s goons finding me are slim, but I can’t convince my overactive imagination that’s the case.
I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting out here on the beach, but, before I know it, the sun is gone and my only sources of light are the full moon and the light streaming through Camille’s bedroom doors.
The last of my tears stop when I feel someone walk up behind me. I turn my head a little and am surprised to see it’s Kulani. For a moment, I think he’s just going to walk past me on his way to the party, so I’m surprised when he sits down on the sand so close to me that our legs are touching.
I hurry and wipe the tear tracks on my cheek in a futile attempt to hide the evidence of my sadness from Kulani, but when I see, from the corner of my eyes, the sad look he’s giving me, I know it’s too late.
Once my face is dry, I look down and inwardly groan when I see what I’m wearing. I wasn’t planning on having any company, so I’m just wearing a white, almost see-through tank top, sans bra, and a pair of mint green sleep shorts.
I feel my eyes bulge and I hurry to cross my arms over my chest when I realize that my nipples are hard and poking through the thin fabric. I wait for a smartass remark to come from Kulani, but he stays silent. I look over at him to see that’s he paying me no mind. Instead, he’s staring out at the ocean, looking lost in thought.
It’s not long before I’m staring as well. Minutes clothed in silence pass. One would think it would be uncomfortable silence, especially after our fight earlier, but it’s not. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s comforting to have someone with me, silently soothing me. It’s just a bonus that someone is Kulani, the very guy that I can’t keep my mind off of.
I deflate when Kulani opens his mouth because I’m sure he’s about to ruin this moment, but he surprises me yet again. “My dad spent his childhood, teens, and young adult being groomed to take over my grandfather’s business. My grandpa was a hard man who only wanted a son for that reason. All he cared about was money and power. My dad never disobeyed him. Even though owning a successful chain of banks wasn’t what Dad wanted to do with his life, he did it so Grandpa wouldn’t be disappointed. There was never love, and from what my dad told me, not once did Grandpa ever say he was proud of him. Dad just became used to his coldness and accepted that was what his life was. My grandma died during childbirth, so he never had anyone there to show him there was so much more to life than working nonstop. Until the day he met my mom.”
Through that entire story, Kulani never smiled. There was no emotion in his voice until he mentioned his mom. The warmest grin spreads on his face and, even in the dark, you can see how much he loves her. It’s an emotion I can easily pick up on because I hold the same love and devotion for the woman who gave me life.
“He was on a business trip here on the big island when he saw her walking down a road.” A small laugh escapes Kulani’s lips before he continues. “He said seeing her for the first time was like seeing the light after years of being trapped in a dark world. He didn’t know who the girl was with the beautiful smile, but he knew he had to meet her.”
For the first time since sitting down on the sand next to me, Kulani turns his head, and the look he gives me makes goose bumps rise all over my body. It’s a look of understanding.
“The love they felt for each other was instant. Less than a year later, they were married. It was the first thing my dad ever did that was against my grandfather’s wishes.”
“Your grandpa didn’t like your mom?” I ask quietly. I’m completely lost in Kulani’s story. It sounds like something I would read in a fairytale.
He laughs sarcastically. “Grandpa hated my mom.” I can tell that he tried to answer that question in a matter-of-fact tone, but he failed. His voice was understandably laced with venom.
“Mom didn’t possess either of the traits that were important to Grandpa—money and power. She came from poverty, but she always said she was never poor. She grew up with a mom and dad who loved her unconditionally until the day they died and that was more important to her than anything money could buy. Naturally, Grandpa thought she was full of shit and only wanted my dad for his money. He threatened anything he could think of to stop that wedding, even the business, but it was too late. Dad owned all the rights to the business, and even if he didn’t, nothing could stop him from marrying my mom. He loved her. Any communication Grandpa still had with them stopped immediately when I was born. That was fine. Together, we had the best life. Mom and Dad always encouraged me to live my life for me, always have fun, and do what makes me happy.”
He smiles. “I was so fucking lucky, Aria. I got to witness a love like no other, and I got to experience it firsthand. I was a child, but I knew that not every person out there was fortunate enough to have that. I never took it for granted. I’m happy I didn’t because, when I was ten years old, that life was taken from me when they both died in a plane crash.”
I gasp and immediately place my hand on his forearm as a small gesture of comfort.
“I’m so sorry, Kulani,” I choke out. I wish, more than anything, I could tell him I know how he feels, but telling him is impossible. Instead, I just keep my hand on his arm and my ears open. I have to admit that I’m a little confused as to why he’s sitting here, telling me his painful memories. We hardly know each other, but I’m thankful he’s sharing something so important with me.
“I went to live with my grandpa. From day one, we hated each other. He was the man who shut my family out and said horrible, awful things about my mom, and I was the child who was no less than the spawn of Satan. I wondered, every day, why he bothered to keep me around when it was so painfully clear how much he hated me. Freshmen year of high school, I figured out why. I was his second chance. He failed with my dad, but he could groom me to be the heartless man my father was supposed to be. I went along with it too. I was just like my father at that age. I did everything I was told to do, but, unlike my father, I didn’t do it because I didn’t know that there was a better way of life out there. I did it because I just didn’t care.”
He shakes his head. “I was numb. My parents were gone and, with every day that passed, some of the memories I held so dear to me were vanishing. After I turned eighteen, I came across a box of some of my parents’ belongings along with a note their lawyer was supposed to give me if anything happened to them in Grandpa’s office. That note changed my life. I was reminded of how much I lost, how much I was loved, and how much my parents just wanted me to be happy. I realized I was living the exact life that my dad tried to shield me from, and I was doing it willingly.” Kulani’s tone is laced with venom again. “I also realized Grandpa had read that letter as well and knew I wouldn’t have been so compliant if he had given it to me like he was supposed to.”
“What did you do?” I ask hesitantly.
“I left.” He shrugs. “I packed my shit, told Gramps to shove it, and left. I have never wanted to run a multi-million dollar business, so it wasn’t hard for me to leave it all.”
“What did you want to do?”
“What I’m doing—surfing and teaching people to surf, only I want to open up my own school for it.” He smiles. I can tell how passionate he is about it.
“What do you want to do?” Kulani asks after a few
seconds of silence. His question throws me off guard. For the life of me, I can’t come up with an answer.
In truth, there are so many things I want, some little, some big. I want to dance in the rain and sing in front of a crowd. I want to learn something new, like how to drive. Yes, I know I’m eighteen and it’s bad that I don’t know how to drive, but I grew up in New York. We take cabs everywhere.
I want to be kissed like the actresses in the movie. You know the kind of kiss I’m talking about, the kind that takes place at the end of the movie, when you’re just starting to think maybe the couple won’t get the happy ending after all, but, at the last minute, the ridiculously gorgeous actor shows up and gives her a kiss that could knock her on her ass. Yeah, I want that…and to lose my virginity.
All of that feels impossible with the mess my life is in right now, but I answer anyway. “I want to live,” I finally say. I know he took note of the way I say it, like it’s an impossible task for me, because his answer is so simple.
“Then live.”
Chapter Seven
Just A Kiss
I swear to God, if one more businessman gropes my legs or ass again, I will pour this onion soup on them. I only have another thirty minutes left of this shift and then I’m out.
I wish I had known I would be catering to a room full of horny old businessmen. I would have turned Seth down. If it wasn’t for them, I would love doing this job. It’s nice being inside in the cool air versus being outside in the heat on the golf course.
I was nervous about working the conference tonight, but it’s incredibly easy. Anyone with half a brain could do it, which is good, considering my mind is still replaying the conversation Kulani and I had last night.
My heart breaks whenever I think about his childhood. I feel ashamed of myself for judging the kind of person he is without ever taking the chance to get to know him. It’s exactly what happened to me my entire life. People took one look at my clothes, the house I lived in, or the neighborhood I grew up in and immediately thought I was just a no-good criminal, like the rest of the people in my neighborhood.
I hated that people did that to me, and I did it to Kulani. I still don’t truly understand why Kulani told me, but I don’t think it was just a coincidence. For some reason, he wanted me to know about his past. I didn’t get a chance to ask him because shortly after he asked me what I wanted to do with my life, Pika called and he left to go meet him and Layla at the party. I went inside to go to bed.
I didn’t go to sleep, though. I tossed and turned all night, replaying our conversation. The fact that Kulani went through something so heartbreaking makes him more human to me. Before, he was just a ridiculously sexy man with an incredible sense of humor. Now I’m reminded it’s not just me who has struggles, who’s going through something tragic. Everyone has their problems and secrets, and it wasn’t fair for me to dismiss the possibility that Kulani has ever felt pain just because he chooses to smile through it.
On top of those feelings, I also admire him. He overcame so much tragedy and is living the kind of life he chooses. I told myself that the first chance I got, I would leave New York. Now, whenever I even begin to think about what I’m going to do after the trial, I’m consumed with guilt and sadness. It’s easier to just avoid thinking about what I’m going to do after the trial, but by doing that, I’m missing so much around me. I’m miserable and stuck in a continual loop.
Eventually, sleep claimed me, and when I woke up this morning, I was too distracted all day before work to really think about anything. Layla, Camille, and I went shopping all morning, and then we went to a small restaurant in town for lunch.
Shopping was a fun and necessary distraction. I needed some more clothes and have been meaning to get some with the money that Detective Kendrick gave me when I entered this program.
I was a little hesitant to join Layla and Camille today, not because I didn’t want to, but because I’ve been trying to keep my distance from Camille, which has been more difficult than I thought. Camille is so kind and caring. She’s always asking how I am and checking to make sure I’m still comfortable here, but I’m afraid that if I get too close to her, I’ll be replacing my mom.
About an hour into the shopping trip, I got over it. Layla and Camille were just too much fun to be around. That shopping trip was the most fun I’ve had since being in Hawaii. It ended too soon.
I learned a lot about them that I always wondered about but was too afraid to ask at first. For instance, I learned that Layla’s father was in the navy and died overseas while her mother was pregnant with her.
They know Detective Kendrick because he was Layla’s father’s closest friend and was in the Navy with him. When Detective Kendrick came back, he took on the role of being a father figure for Layla until Layla turned fifteen. Then he took a job in New York as a detective. I may not know Camille well, but I’m almost sure that I saw sadness in her eyes not only when she talked about the death of her husband, but also about Kendrick leaving. I once again found myself wondering if there was more to their relationship than meets the eye.
After lunch, I went home and helped Layla get ready for a romantic date with Pika. I also reassured her about a million times that I didn’t mind walking home after work. When it came time for me to leave for work, I was ready to have some alone time. I’m used to being by myself, and, after being surrounded by people all day, I was craving some alone time.
I just finished my shift. Now that I’m in the dark parking lot, I’m second guessing my decision to walk. I pull out my phone to call Camille and see if she could come get me only to see that it’s dead. “Shit,” I hiss and shove it back into my purse.
I sigh when I look around the employee parking lot and see only two cars. “Looks like I’m walking.”
I jump when I hear the door close behind me. I whip around and see Seth walking out.
“Hey,” I say awkwardly.
His eyebrows scrunch as he looks around the empty lot. “You waiting on your ride?”
“No. Pika and Layla are on a date, so I’m walking.” I don’t miss the annoyance that flares in his eyes at the mention of Pika and Layla’s name, nor do I miss it when he mumbles, “Nice,” under his breath.
I’m reminded of the promise I made to Layla to stay away from him, so I start walking away. “Well, I better go before it gets too much later.”
I stop when Seth starts talking again. “I can give you a ride.”
“Uh, no, that’s okay. It’s not too far, and I don’t mind the walk.”
“Really, Aria, it’s no big deal. I’m driving that way anyway.”
He waves off any other excuse I try to make. My hackles rise when he grabs my wrist without another word and pulls me to his car.
I’m not walking with him, but I’m not completely resisting either. I’m kind of half dragging, half walking. We reach the passenger door when I pry my wrist form his tight grip. “Really, it’s okay, Seth. I don’t mind walking.”
In a flash, the calm and collected Seth I’m used to is gone. He lets out a frustrated breath and swings his passenger door open. His eyes dart around the empty parking lot and look back at me.
I can see that he’s trying to appear calm, but everything about this situation is freaking me out. I have the instinct to run. “It’s fine, Aria. Just get in,” he says through a forced smile I’m sure he thinks looks friendly. To me, he looks like the Cheshire cat.
I want to get out of this situation without having to get into his car, but I don’t want to piss him off anymore. It seems the longer I sit here and try to figure out a way out of this, the more on edge Seth becomes. He’s fidgeting and continuously glancing around the parking lot.
A few more seconds pass, and I accept that there isn’t really any other way to avoid this. I decide to get in. I’m probably overreacting anyway. Before I can get in, though, a flash of headlights shines on us, calling both of our attention.
I squint my eyes against the bright lights unti
l they shut off. I’m incredibly relieved to see Kulani jump out of the powder blue and cream colored Volkswagen. I have never been so happy to see him in my entire life.
When I look at his face and see that he’s clearly angry, I get the feeling he doesn’t feel the same way. “Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask when he walks around the front of his van.
He’s dressed in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a tight white t-shirt. I get distracted by how hot he looks in just a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, but I snap back to reality when he starts talking.
“Layla called and said you had to work tonight. Wanted me to give you a ride home.” God, I could kiss that girl! I want to let out a loud, relieved breath, but I manage to bite it back so Seth doesn’t hear.
I open my mouth to agree, but Seth is faster. “I’m already giving her a ride, but thanks. Come on, Aria.” I look between him and Kulani. It’s not even a choice. I’m not leaving this parking lot with anyone but Kulani, I just have to find a way to let Seth know this without pissing him off and making work awkward.
“You’re fucking crazy if you think I’m letting her get a ride with you.”
My whole body stiffens as soon as that sentence leaves Kulani’s mouth because I know another fight is about to happen.
I speak up when I see Seth take a menacing step toward Kulani—who continues to lean back against his van, calm as can be—to stop the situation from escalating.
“It’s okay, Seth.” My voice grabs the attention of both guys. I give Seth the warmest smile I can manage, and I see him visibly relax. “I’ll just get a ride with Kulani since he doesn’t live too far from me.”
He looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn’t get the chance because Kulani walks over and grabs my hand. He leads me to his passenger side door, opens the door, and guides me in. I can tell he’s pissed by the tense way he’s holding his body and the fact he hasn’t said anything. I’m at a loss as to what to say to not make him even angrier. I only speak up when he tries to buckle me in.
Love, Unexpected Page 5