“I can get it. I’m not two,” I mumble and yank the buckle from his hand. He rolls his eyes, but remains silent. He shuts the door with force and walks to his side.
After five minutes of driving, his silent treatment ends. “I don’t fucking understand how every time I turn around, you’re with him,” he growls.
“Probably because every time you turn around, we’re at work and he’s my boss.” I mean, come on. I’m not into Seth, and even if I was, why would he care? He’s mad at me for no reason.
I’m surprised when he reaches in the center console and pulls out a cigarette. I roll my eyes when he lights it up and takes a puff. Not because I generally find smoking to be a gross habit, but because he even makes smoking look sexy.
“Smoking is bad for you,” I blurt. Groaning inwardly, I turn back to the road ahead, but not before seeing him smirk out of the corner of my eye.
“Seth is bad for you,” he replies sarcastically.
I smile despite myself before saying, “I’ll quit if you quit.”
Kulani laughs and all the animosity between us disappears. He takes one long drag from his cigarette and flicks it out the window. “Deal.”
The rest of the drive is made in comfortable silence. When he shuts off his van, I decide to ask the one question that’s been on my mind since last night. “Why did you tell me all that stuff last night?”
Kulani looks at me with narrowed eyes, clearly surprised by my question. He doesn’t answer right away, but when he finally does, it’s not the answer I thought he was going to give. “I saw you were upset. I figured it would make you feel better to take your mind off whatever it was.”
I’m disappointed by his answer, but I’m not sure why. I don’t know what I was expecting his answer to be, but that wasn’t it. I smile anyway and move to get out of the van. “Well, thank you. And thank you for the ride too.”
“I wanted you to see I wasn’t a clown,” Kulani blurts just as I was starting to open my door. I give him a confused look, so he quickly explains. “You said I was a clown, that all I cared about was having fun. That’s true, but I wanted you to understand why.” He shrugs.
I once again feel awful about the things that I said and the way I treated him. The longer I wait to respond, the more uncomfortable Kulani looks. It’s written all over his face that he’s starting to regret saying anything at all.
“I shouldn’t have said that, Kulani. I don’t think you’re a clown.” He smiles and gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe a word I just said. “Okay, so I do think you’re a clown.” I laugh.
“I envy you, though. I envy your ability to be so carefree despite your painful past. I wish I could do that. I wish I could be happy,” I say into the dark van.
“You can be,” Kulani says simply, but adamantly.
I smile softly. “One day.”
“No. Now, Aria. You can be happy now.”
“The difference between me and you is that your pain is in the past. Mine is still very much in the present.” My answer just serves to confuse Kulani, but that’s as clear as I can be without giving anything away.
I do something that surprises both of us. I lean over the console and give him a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for the ride and the talk, Kulani,” I whisper before jumping out of his van and heading toward the French doors that leads to my room so I don’t wake Camille up.
When I hear the car door close seconds before I hear his footsteps behind me, I know this conversation isn’t over yet. “Go out with me,” Kulani says to my back.
“No,” I answer with a smile, but I don’t turn to face him. I want to say yes, but it doesn’t matter how much I want to be with him. The facts haven’t changed. I’m only here until next month, and he doesn’t even know who I really am.
“Night, Kulani,” I say as I put my key in the lock. I gasp when Kulani grabs my arm and whips me around. I don’t have time to register what’s happening before his lips are on mine.
My mind is a fuzzy mess, so I just stand there, unmoving, like a statue. He reaches up and cups the sides of my face. That’s when I start returning the kiss. He plunges his tongue in my mouth.
Since I’ve only ever kissed one other guy in my life—and that was at the age of ten, with my neighbor, Bobby, right before he moved away—I’m not sure how I’m doing, but if I’m judging by the moan he emits when I stroke his tongue with mine, I’m doing all right.
I stumble when he backs us up until my back hits the door. I release a moan of my own when I feel the thick bulge in his pants press against my core. All too soon, Kulani is pulling his lips from mine. Our heavy breathing is the only sound in the night.
“I’ll get you to agree one day soon, Nani,” he says. It’s supposed to just be a statement, but it comes out as more of a promise.
I can’t think of a response. My mind is still spinning from that amazing kiss. Kulani places one more, much softer kiss on my lips before whispering against them, “Night, Rocky.”
“Night,” I echo, and then he’s gone. Once I gain my composure, I turn and try to unlock the door, but end up fumbling with shaky hands. “Come on, Aria, get a grip! It was just a kiss.”
It was just a kiss. One amazing kiss.
Chapter Eight
Becoming Aria
I’ve only been sleeping for forty-five minutes before the sound of the French doors sliding open startles me awake. I can tell it’s Layla from the light in our bathroom. I’m quietly watching her stumble around in the room on her way to make it to the bathroom. She mumbles about how she really needs to start cleaning her room.
I lose the battle with trying not to laugh when she trips over a discarded heel and face plants on the end of my bed.
“You were awake this entire time!” she says through narrowed eyes. I laugh harder and nod.
“You could have said something,” she mumbles while trying to stand up.
I turn on my bedside lamp and sit up to look at her. She looks, for lack of a better term, thoroughly fucked. The spaghetti straps on her short, white dress are falling down her arms. Her hair is a mess and her makeup is smeared. And, if all of that wasn’t enough of an indicator, she’s holding not only her sandals in her hands, but her bra as well.
I cross my arms over my chest. “You look like you had a good time.”
She blushes but squares her shoulders in pride. “The best. I swear that man can do things to my body you only—”
“Okay!” I say loudly. I hold up my hands to stop her before she says something that’ll scar me. “I don’t need to hear any more.” I laugh. Layla rolls her eyes at me and finishes her trek to the bathroom.
Twenty minutes later, she comes out wearing pajamas and looking refreshed. I shut off the light when she settles into bed. “How was work?” she asks.
I go over everything that happened…even the kiss, because, quite frankly, I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. Part of me thinks I dreamed it. By the time I’m done recapping tonight’s events, I’m on my side, facing her, and she’s on her side, facing me. Layla’s eyes are big and she’s smiling so wide I know it’s got to hurt.
“So, he just kissed you?” she asks excitedly. I nod and she squeals. I try to remain calm even though, on the inside, I’m doing a happy dance.
“I’m sure I’m not the first girl Kulani has kissed, and I definitely won’t be the last. It’s not a big deal.” It is a big deal! It’s a really, really big deal!
“No, you’re not the first girl he’s kissed,” Layla confirms as she rolls back on to her back to look up at the ceiling. All of my excitement disappears with that sentence, but a little comes back with what she says next. “But it’s definitely not as many girls as you think. Kulani may joke around a lot, but he has goals, and nothing pulls his focus from them, which leads me to believe that he’s really into you.” I can practically hear her smiling. “Why won’t you give him a chance? It’s obvious you like him too.”
“It’s complicated.” I sigh.
The room falls silent for so long, I begin to think she’s fallen asleep.
“What’s your real name?” Layla whispers. My eyes widen and my heart rate picks up to a dangerous speed.
I whip my head in her direction and I sputter, “What?” She can’t possibly have just asked what I think she just asked!
“What’s your real name?” Yep, she asked what I thought she asked.
“Um…how…I mean…” I begin to panic.
“Relax.” She giggles. “I’m a bit of an airhead, but I know what Kendrick does for a living. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I won’t tell anyone if you do,” she says sincerely and turns her head back to the ceiling.
I think it over for a few seconds. Then I say, “My real name is Gianna Donatelli.” But I wish it wasn’t.
“Where’s your family?”
I know I should just end this conversation now. Telling her my real name was already too much, but I don’t want to. I’m sick of holding all this darkness in. I’m silently suffering, and I’m at my breaking point.
“My mom and dad were…” I struggle to choke the next word out, “murdered.” Layla gasps, but I don’t look at her until I hear her get up from her bed.
I turn my head just as the tear I was trying so hard to hold back sneaks out and trails down my cheek before dropping on my pillow. I watch in confusion as Layla climbs out of her bed on the side furthest from me. My eyes widen when she gives her bed three hard, long shoves until our beds are butted up against each other, making one big bed.
I smile in spite of my sadness when Layla lays next to me. Once we’re both settled, we both look back at the ceiling.
“I’m sorry, Aria.”
“Me too.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Do I? Yes. Should I? No. But knowing that I shouldn’t doesn’t stop me. I spend the next half an hour going over almost every detail from that night, only leaving out Sal’s name. By the time I’m done, Layla has tears in her eyes.
“Jesus, Aria. I can’t even imagine what you went through. I’m so sorry.”
“It gets easier every day,” I say to comfort her.
Something about the way Layla goes quiet tells me she doesn’t believe my lie. “Tell me the good things,” she says.
“What?”
“Well, you told me about your father and the kind of man he was, and you told me about their murders. Tell me about your mom. Tell me about the good things.”
I think about what Layla said and a smile creeps on my face. “My mom was beautiful. She always put me first and tried to protect me from my papi. She always took the physical abuse for herself. Most people who don’t know my mom would think that she’s weak for staying with my dad and enduring all of that violence, but I only ever saw her as strong. The strongest woman I knew. Every day she would say, ‘One day, my cuore, we will leave this pain behind and start a new life.’ That’s all she ever wanted, me to have a chance at a better life, but she was taken before we got that chance.”
Layla absorbs my words before turning on her side to face me, so I do the same. “She’s dead, but you’re not,” Layla says hesitantly.
“What?” I ask. Not because I don’t understand what she said, but because I have no idea where she’s going with it.
“You said all your mom ever wanted was for you to have a chance at a better life. Don’t you think right now is your chance? Don’t you think your mom would want you to?”
She hasn’t said anything I haven’t told myself a million times since becoming Aria. “How do I do that? How do I start new life when she can’t?” I ask through my tears.
“I think you’re thinking about it all wrong, Aria. It’s not living without her. It’s living for her.”
***
My head snaps up when someone sits a tan backpack and a water bottle on the counter of my lemonade cart. I narrow my eyes suspiciously when I see Kulani smiling at me.
It’s the Monday after the Saturday night talk with Layla. I spent the rest of that night and all of Sunday thinking about what she said. The only conclusion I could come to is that she’s right. No matter what I do, I will always feel the loss of my mom, but I can live the life my mom has always dreamed for me, so that’s what I’m going to do.
“You ready?” Kulani asks me.
“Ready for what?” I ask slowly.
“Mike called in sick and we’ve been chosen to take his place to take a group on a hike to the waterfall. Well, I’ve been chosen, but I’m taking you with me.”
A hike with Kulani sounds nice, but…“I can’t. I have to work here.”
He waves me off. “Layla has it.”
“That’s not fair to just leave her here by herself. What if we get busy?”
Kulani looks around the empty golf course. “Uh, I hate to break it to you, babe, but the only way you’re going to get busy is if you move this stand to the side of the road and put two eight-year-old girls behind it. Let’s go.”
I roll my eyes, but I follow him.
Twenty minutes later, I’m walking next to Kulani while he leads a group of about ten people, trying my hardest not to laugh when Kulani jumps every time we pass a stick because he thinks it’s a snake.
“Stop laughing at me!”
“Stop being a baby!” I laugh harder.
“I’m not being a baby.” He pushes out his chest. “Those fuckers are dangerous. I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I know he’s full of it, but I play along. I place the back of my hand against my forehead and say, “My hero,” in my best southern accent. I receive a wide smile from Kulani and a wiggle of his eyebrows.
“Damn right.”
I’m about to give him another sarcastic remark when I hear the sound of rushing water. My eyes go to the most gorgeous view I’ve seen since arriving in Hawaii. I didn’t think it was possible for this place to get even more beautiful.
The view of the crystal blue water cascading down the rocks into a pool of water is breathtaking. Right now, all I want to do is run and jump in.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Kulani asks. He stands next to me while all the tourists spread out to take their pictures and explore.
“One of the most stunning views I’ve ever seen,” I say softly. I can feel Kulani’s eyes on me, but I don’t look away from the waterfall.
“Go out with me,” he says.
“No.” I smile. I honestly don’t even know why I’m saying no anymore. I want nothing more than to be with Kulani. I feel good when I’m with him. When he’s near, I forget about New York. I forget about Sal and the trial that’s coming. As hard as I’ve been trying to deny it, I’m falling for him.
I guess I just see it as more of a game between us—him constantly asking me and me constantly saying no.
“Why not?”
I don’t answer him. A noise coming from the woods nearby catches my attention. Before I can stop them, my feet are moving in that direction.
“Where you going?” he asks, but I don’t stop.
“I heard a noise,” I mumble.
He runs to catch up with me. “You hear a noise and your instinct is to go in the woods?”
He laughs. We walk only twenty feet before we find the source of the noise. A pig.
I laugh and start to walk toward it to pet him when Kulani grabs my upper arm to stop me. “Don’t, baby,” he says quietly.
“Seriously, Kulani, you’re scared of pigs too?” I roll my eyes and try to walk to the pig again, but this time Kulani swings me around so I’m facing him.
“Listen, Rocky. I know you’re a badass Tomb Raider chick, but that is not the kind of pig you walk up to and pet.” My smile vanishes when I see how serious he is. “We need to back away slowly,” he instructs quietly, but obviously not quietly enough because the next thing we hear is a loud snort and grunt come from the pig. Both of our heads snap to him. Gone is the once cute-looking pig I saw seconds
ago. In its place is a mean looking, fire breathing—okay, maybe not really—pig.
When he starts digging his front left leg into the ground like he’s about to take off toward us at any moment, Kulani hisses, “Fuck.” Then he lifts me over his shoulder and runs.
It takes a couple seconds, but when I look up and see the evil pig chasing us, I realize what’s happening and scream. My scream causes Kulani to scream and the pig to snort, this time sending snot flying.
I bounce on Kulani’s back while screaming, “Get me out of here!”
“I’m trying!” At the last second, he cuts right into thick grass. I look up in time to see the pig run past and continue on the trail. I wait a few minutes before opening my mouth to let Kulani know that he can stop running now, but I scream instead. We’re going down.
Kulani tripped over something and we both fall to the ground with a loud splat. I can feel that I’m lying in something mushy, but I’m too scared to look. I’m thinking Kulani feels the same way because he’s lying next to me and has yet to move.
After a deep breath, I lift up my arms and am happy to see that it’s just mud that I’m covered in. I lay my arms back down at the sides of my body at the same time Kulani sits up and looks at me. I can see specks of mud splattered on his face and neck. It’s clear he got the worst of it, and it’s clear he’s mad at me.
“I told you that pig was dangerous,” he growls. I try not to laugh. I really do. But I can’t help it. This whole situation is just too funny, so I burst out laughing.
When I hear him growl again, I try to wheeze out an apology. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It’s just—”
I’m cut off when Kulani’s lips land on mine. My hands go to his hair and his go to my cheeks. This kiss is passionate, intense, and way too short.
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