Wasted Vows

by Colleen Charles

  I looked at her one last time. The woman I’d thought I loved. Nothing but a posturing, climbing, over-reaching piece of shit.

  “Take that ring off your finger.”

  Chapter 45

  Ally

  I sat on the sofa, staring out of the window at the snowfall. It was Valentine’s morning and Kelly had called at least twenty times to chat. I’d deal with her later. Right now, I needed to think.

  Things with Gabe were not easy. I wanted to be with him and believe everything he said, but as soon as we got close to anything real, another problem seemed to crop up. This engagement thing was… ugh, I couldn’t deal with that thought.

  Faith with a huge rock on her finger and Donovan Moreno’s smug smile.

  But I still couldn’t resist Gabe. He felt like the other half to my whole. And I hadn’t heard from him since the rushed note he’d left on my fridge. Had he changed his mind? Decided that Faith was the one for him after all? Caved to his daddy? There was nothing worse as a woman than feeling so damn insecure. It needed to stop. I had to go all in. Or not.

  I chewed my bottom lip but stopped when I tasted blood. God, no use assaulting myself because I couldn’t have the feeling of control that I so desperately wanted. Control was simply an illusion anyway. A weak straw that we clutched at in times of discontent.

  Codsworth hopped onto my lap and settled in, purring gently.

  “This is all your fault, you know,” I whispered, scratching him between the ears, appreciating that furry sweet spot which made him raise his chin. His tiny teeth peeked out of his lips and I transitioned to scratching his bearded chin instead. “If you hadn’t been upstairs, I would never have met Gabe.”

  Thank God he’d saved my cat. I could do without the turmoil, especially on a holiday glorifying love. Snow tinkled against the window and settled on the sill. This was the whitest February I’d ever seen.

  I shifted Codsworth and curled up under the knit blanket I’d pulled off the end of my bed. I grabbed my cell and swiped my thumb to unlock the screen. I tapped through to my music and selected a track: Elastic Heart by Sia.

  I couldn’t get enough of her music.

  “You won’t need an elastic heart,” Gabe spoke up from the doorway.

  “I didn’t think I’d see you again this soon,” I said, then clicked the song off, so we could talk properly.

  Amusement twitched the corners of his luscious lips. He straightened them and his expression darkened. “You don’t believe I’ll do right by you.”

  “Can you blame me, Gabe? Yesterday was amazing, but I can’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop. Every time we get close—”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said, raising his calloused palm. “I know. We get close and then we’re pulled apart, whether it’s from your side or from mine.”

  “Mostly from yours,” I replied and stuck out my tongue to lighten the mood.

  He chuckled. “Allegra, I told you I want to be with you for good. You’re my woman and I’m your man. I’m sure there will be bumps in the road just like in any relationship, but nothing will pull us apart for good. And that’s a promise.”

  “That remains to be seen.” I pointed and Codsworth sprang off my lap, wandered up to Gabe and curled around his legs. “Traitor,” I growled, and it was too playful. How would he take me seriously — Gabe, not my cat — if I couldn’t express how I felt without joking about it?

  “The bakery’s closed,” Gabe said, glancing over his shoulder.

  “I left it unlocked for Kelly, in case she decides to come over. It’s Valentine’s. She said she got me a present.”

  “That’s right. I have news. Good news,” he said, then sucked in some air, almost like a last gasp before he took a plunge.

  “Do I want to know?”

  “Definitely,” he said, then beckoned and stepped out of the room. His footsteps rang on the wooden boards and came to a halt in my bedroom.

  He had to know I wouldn’t be able to resist him. This was his way of getting the upper hand. I licked my lips, tasting the remnants of hot cocoa, and rose from the sofa.

  I walked through to my bedroom, fingers crossed behind my back, pinched together until the circulation cut off and they went all tingly.

  Gabe had positioned himself by the window and stared down at the road below.

  “Another Valentine’s. Another winter almost over.”

  “I think that every year. Time’s passing us by.”

  Gabe balled his hands into fists and faced me. “I won’t let that happen. Man, I—” He broke off and laughed out loud.

  “What is it?”

  “I’m fucking this up.” He shook his gorgeous head, then sucked in a breath of cozy bedroom air. “I’m trying to tell you I won’t waste any more time. Life’s short and I want to spend it with you.”

  My eyelids fluttered like a starlet out of a Hollywood movie. It seemed cheesy, but this had to be how it felt to be stuck in a romantic moment on the silver screen. Apart from the lack of candles. Candles and roses made everything better.

  “Allegra?”

  “Sorry, my brain cut out for a second there. Could you repeat that?” Yeah, I was going to milk this moment for all it was worth.

  Gabe walked up to me and took me by the arms. “I’m going to spend my life with you.”

  “How?” Not the most eloquent reply.

  “I spoke to Faith. I told her to take the ring off her finger, it’s never going to happen.”

  “Are you serious? You did that?” I slid my hands onto his chest.

  “It’s you, Allegra. You’re it. You’re my life.”

  I couldn’t help falling deeper for him. Each moment that passed drew me closer and made me want more, even though I was terrified it would fall through again.

  “I love you,” he said and bent his neck, lips inches from my own. “Only you.”

  “Only you,” I whispered.

  Our kiss revived my soul. I was destroyed and sucked into him, parts of me mixing with the person I believed he was.

  I couldn’t pull away.

  Gabe slipped the straps of my top from my shoulders, he kissed the bare skin there, sending tickles across my skin.

  He undressed me slowly, peeling pieces of clothing from my flesh and tracing his path downward with kisses until he kneeled in front of me and parted my legs.

  “You’re a queen, Allegra,” he murmured. He licked over my clit and sucked gently. “My queen.”

  I lost myself in the noises he made, the gentle licks, nips and groans. His need for me was what got to me the most. My legs shuddered from the pleasure and my knees caved in, but he caught me in one, strong arm and picked me up.

  He carried me to the bed and laid me down, then buried his face in my folds again. He wanted me to lose myself in the pleasure, in our love.

  I grasped the sheets in both fists and arched my back, gasping. Pleasure twirled through my core, a thread which started at his lips and arced through my insides, all the way to my mind.

  Gabe paused and I groaned a complaint. “So close.”

  He stroked between my lips, collecting my wetness, then sucked his finger. “You taste fucking fantastic.”

  I gulped and slapped my palms onto his shoulders, then tried tugging him upwards. “I want you inside me.”

  It was his turn to moan, a long, throat-scratching growl of desire for me. Just for me.

  I placed the soles of my feet on the bed and played with my pussy, bringing myself even closer to climax. Putting on the show for him now that I knew how that move made him lose his mind, I wanted to use it. A lot.

  “Jesus,” he said, watching me, running his thumb along his lower lip. His breath was hot against my skin.

  I shivered, lifting my ass off the sheets, lost in the moment. I wanted to come for him, I wanted him to see my pussy tighten and release, inches from his lips. I wanted him to know how badly I needed him. That the thought of him could send me straight over the edge.

  I turn
ed my head, bit down on the sheet and exploded into my climax. An ass clenching, mind-searing orgasm. I yowled through the fabric, my vision blurred with white lines of passion.

  “Fuck,” Gabe said, hoarse with desire. “Holy fuck.”

  He scampered up my body and entered my swollen entrance with a swift thrust.

  “Now it’s my turn.”

  I screamed his name. The only sound that I could push past my lips.

  Chapter 46

  Gabe

  A week had passed since Valentine’s and the snow hadn’t stopped. I kicked up the powder outside my car door and locked it. I’d spent my ‘long weekend’ with Allegra, mornings and nights in bed, afternoons curled up together, watching movies and kidding around.

  It was the best time of my life. Fuck parties and clubs, hell, it was better than the rush of fighting fires.

  Her love was… I didn’t have a word to describe that perfection. Just being with her. In her presence. Getting to know her likes and dislikes. Finding so many things in common. Who would have known she had a love of Jane Austen and Tommy Boy? Life with Allegra was fucking nirvana. Except Kurt Cobain was on her dislike list.

  I hurried up the stairs to my apartment and unlocked the front door. I walked in, slammed it shut and dumped the keys on the counter. I’d come home to give Allegra some space, and to pick up a few clothes.

  She wouldn’t say it, but I got the distinct impression she wanted me to stay with her as much as I wanted to be there. Even though her apartment was smaller, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the company.

  My phone rang and I took it out of my pocket and checked the caller ID. Faith.

  Suddenly, getting clothes didn’t matter that much. Shit, the only day I’d been apart from the woman of my dreams was to give blood at the clinic Faith had chosen to do the paternity test.

  I swallowed and watched her name flash on the screen. No sense delaying this shit.

  “Yeah?”

  “Gabe, baby, how are you doing?”

  “Cut the crap.” She’d told both our fathers about my insistence on the test and my dad had already called to cut me off. I’d conveniently forgotten to answer my phone.

  “Ouch, I would be offended, but I know you’re nervous.” Faith’s voice quavered then and hope grew in my chest.

  I paced back and forth, burning a path through the floorboards of my apartment.

  Creak, creak, creak.

  Tell me the truth, you traitorous bitch.

  “Speak, woman, what do you have to tell me?”

  “It’s not your baby.” She choked on the sentence, then coughed, hacking out her demise on the other end of the line. “It’s not your baby. You’re not the father. Are you happy now?”

  I punched the air in triumph, but frowned a second later. Yeah, I was fucking over the moon about this, but kinda bummed at the same time. Allegra and I had a clear path to the future, no complications… but the baby? I’d grown accustomed to the idea of having a son.

  “Gabe, I just wanted you to know—”

  “Save it, girl, there’s nothing you could say to make me respect you again. You’re a liar. You knew that he might not be my son, that he probably wasn’t, but you still tried to tie me down for your own selfish gains.” I sat down on the edge of the stained, beige sofa, then jumped up again.

  This changed so many things.

  Allegra and I were on track and this could only make it better. And my father…

  “So that’s it? You’re done with me? You’re done with the family? And for what, dammit? Some whore who—”

  I hung up on her. I refused to spend another second listening to her negativity.

  I walked through to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, then downed it. I couldn’t stop shaking; my arms were pumped from this adrenaline. Allegra would be over the damn moon.

  She’d probably say ‘I told you so’ and I’d damn well let her.

  I couldn’t wait to get back to her apartment, wrap her in my arms and do unspeakable things to her again. Shit that made her toes curl and her pussy gush with moisture.

  I had to tell her now. I dialed her number and listened to the rings. One, two, three and nothing. She didn’t answer her damn phone.

  “Seriously, Allegra?” I asked, then chuckled. Not even non-communication could get me down right now.

  I tried calling again but got the same result. That was weird. I’d left her at home and she had her cell. Maybe Kelly had come over or something. I scratched the base of my neck and shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

  I had to talk to my father.

  I didn’t need his money, but I did need him to understand that Faith was to blame. That I’d been right all along. He’d been wrong for once in his perfect fucking life.

  Donovan Moreno wasn’t infallible.

  I dialed again, this time to my father. His phone rang the standard number of times before he answered. Always two rings before I got through to Dad. Had to be a business strategy, a technique he’d picked up in a Bill Gates seminar.

  “Donovan Moreno.”

  The same tone and greeting too, even though he’d seen it was me dialing.

  “Hi, Dad, it’s Gabe.” I ran my knuckles along the countertop, brushing against the coolness. Hopefully, it would seep into my fucking soul and stop me from losing it on the elder Moreno.

  “What do you want? I’m in the middle of something.”

  “Did you hear from Faith?”

  “No. I did not hear from Faith. I told you, I’m busy.” My father gave an exasperated sigh. He hated talking to me now as much as he had when I was a kid. Maybe this was a waste of time.

  “Faith called me with the results of the paternity test. I’m not the father.”

  Donovan was silent for a long time. “I see.”

  “So you understand why I won’t be marrying her then.” I looked out of my window at the blanket of white, the slush surrounding the dumpster pushed up against the wall of the building opposite.

  “I told you, boy, I’m in the middle of something.” He hung up, cutting through the final word.

  “Boy?” I asked, crunching the phone in my fist. “Boy?!”

  Why couldn’t he accept what I had to say? Fuck it, I’d spent a lifetime, a literal damn lifetime trying to live up to the imaginary child he’d wanted instead of me. The perfect, good-looking, football-playing, MBA graduating, financier he’d yearned for each night in the downy comfort of his lonely bed. Probably jerking himself off to today’s issue of The Wall Street Journal.

  He was in the middle of something? Well, so was I.

  I shoved my cell into my pocket and stormed to the door, rage channeling through my chest and replacing the joy I’d felt. He would listen to me. And if he didn’t want to speak to me on the phone, that left one option.

  Dad was in a meeting, probably not at the house, but I’d go there and wait for him to return. Or I’d track him the fuck down and interrupt him.

  The man had to take me seriously.

  I paused briefly, thinking it over. Was this scene even worth my time? Would I get any closure from it? Maybe not, but it sure as hell would make me feel better. I snatched my keys from the side table and stormed downstairs, slamming the front door behind me.

  Fuck it, he might not be worth the time, but getting rid of this constant sense of inadequacy was. I had to prove I was better than his image of me. My father had pushed me around, crossed the line too many times to count.

  This wasn’t for Donovan Moreno. This was for Allegra.

  And this was for me.

  Chapter 47

  Gabe

  I pulled up outside the house and clicked the button on my remote. The gates opened and I drove up the driveway, determination squashing any nerves I might’ve had about seeing my father.

  Fuck him. He’d pushed my buttons too often and this was the result. Dismissing me and my thoughts and feelings at every turn. Well, let him just try and dismiss me now.r />
  I parked behind his Maserati and got out of my car. I didn’t think about the difference between them. Dad was flashy, I wasn’t. Hell, even if I’d had his billions I wouldn’t have bought the yellow beast sitting out in the snow. Like some damn metal big bird on four wheels.

  That was weird. Definitely not Donovan Moreno’s style to leave his car out, even if the drive was clear of slush. He rarely even drove that car in February. It cost a quarter of a million and he didn’t like the thought of one rock chip marring its perfect canary paint.

  He must’ve just gotten home. Or rushed home. So much for his important meeting. The deal he just happened to be in the middle of so he couldn’t even acknowledge that his little Faith was a lying sack of shit. Hell, I still remembered how every year he’d get her multiple presents of jewelry and clothes from ‘Uncle Donovan.’ Called her the daughter he’d never had but always wanted. I wondered how he liked his little girl now.

  I clapped my hands together and marched up the stairs to the front door. I tried the handle and it was open, so I didn’t even need to bother with my key. Normally, Alicia, my dad’s housekeeper, would have heard me in the drive and opened the door for me with her beautiful smile in greeting. She was probably vacuuming or doing laundry, although I didn’t hear any household sounds in the background. Silence. Dead silence. Not even my dad’s voice raised in anger with some business colleagues as he tried to get his way. I let myself in and shut the door with a click. The white marble floors were spotless, a weird mirror of the landscape outside.

  “Dad?” I called out. My voice echoed to the chandelier overhead and I glanced up. A pretentious display of cut crystal, dripping with beads and candle-shaped globes of Swarovski. On the days Alicia polished the Italian marble floors, you could see the light’s reflection throughout the entire foyer.

  Maybe he wasn’t home after all. I walked through to the study, where he’d most likely go the minute he got home. Work, work, work, that was my dad. He’d certainly never let off when I was a kid.

  I opened the dark wood door, my palm hot on the bronze handle and strolled into the room. The rich scent of leather folded me into the study. I made for the massive sofa he’d stuck against the wall, beneath the aquarium filled with exotic fish.