He shouldn’t have to wonder when the next time is that I’m gonna go off like a crazy person.
“I’m fine here in your bedroom.”
Parker squeezed his hand. “Our bedroom, honey. But if that’s too much for you right now—or at any time—tell me. I’ll understand.”
It was difficult for Lonnie to reconcile his old life with what seemed to be his new one. Yet nothing about Parker rang false. Even though Lonnie had only known him for a very brief time, he’d shown himself to be a genuinely good and caring person. Parker had put himself in harm’s way to save Lonnie.
He risked his life for me and I’m upset over a fucking hickey?
“I’m so sorry, Parker.”
An expression of sadness filled Parker’s face before he masked it, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in what appeared to be an effort to control his emotions.
“Don’t apologize at all. We can get your things settled in the guest room—”
Lonnie groaned in frustration, grabbing Parker’s fingers tighter even as Parker tried to pull them away.
“No. Stop.”
He leaned forward and captured Parker’s lips. Parker tensed, but Lonnie only kissed him more insistently. At last, Parker relaxed and opened to him and Lonnie hoped that he’d been reassured by Lonnie’s affection.
“Parker, I’m sorry because I’m such a mess right now. Not because I don’t want to be with you.”
There was what appeared to be an exhalation of relief from his lover. “You don’t have to explain—”
“Dude, stop. Seriously, Parker. I do need to explain, I need you to understand. You’re too good to me.”
Lonnie noted how Parker furrowed his brow in genuine confusion.
“I’ve been treated like shit for so long that it seems normal. Then you come along acting like I’m all wonderful and stuff, and it messes with my head.”
“Then can you tell me what happened with you back in the kitchen?”
Lonnie gasped and yanked his hands away from Parker.
“Oh shit! The sauce.”
After jumping to his feet, Lonnie raced from the bedroom in the hopes of rescuing his first attempt at making them a meal. He reached the kitchen and was relieved to discover that he’d arrived in time to keep the sauce from burning to the bottom of the pot. He stirred it thoroughly then shut off the heat. He wanted to sit down with Parker before they did anything else.
“Is it okay?”
The nervousness in Parker was still evident. His voice had been tentative and he kept fidgeting.
“Yeah.” Lonnie smirked. “But I still don’t think I have much of a shot at MasterChef. Are you super hungry, or can we sit and talk first?”
“Of course.” Parker indicated to the table and chairs.
“No. Sit next to me on the couch. Please?”
At last, Parker’s relief seemed completely evident. His expression had lightened and the corners of his mouth had lifted in an easy smile. Lonnie laced their fingers together and he led Parker to the sofa. As he fell back on the couch, he dragged Parker with him. A startled laugh burst from Parker.
Once they were both seated, Lonnie stayed close—his body flush to Parker’s side. He rubbed his thumb over the back of Parker’s hand. Inhaling deeply, he decided to just go for it.
“Are you embarrassed to be dating a whore?”
Parker gasped. “Oh, Jesus, Lonnie. Is that how you think I see you?”
Lonnie snorted. “Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s the truth.”
Parker gathered him in his arms and pulled him on his lap, enfolding him an embrace. He placed a finger under Lonnie’s chin and tipped it up. He was mere inches from Parker’s face and the warmth shining through his brown eyes was clear. Lonnie kept his gaze trained on him, and Parker held his stare for a moment before finally speaking.
“That’s not who you are to me. It never was. And that’s not what you are either. That label has nothing to do with Lonnie. You’re not that person anymore, remember? That’s what you had to do to survive because of the circumstances that were forced on you. I would never judge you for that and I’m incredibly proud to be with you.” Parker chuckled. “You do realize that everyone at the station—and probably across several other departments—already knows that I’m crazy about you, right?”
Happy excitement filled Lonnie’s chest and he smiled. “Or just that you’re crazy.”
Parker descended on his mouth and Lonnie opened up to him on a welcoming sigh. His mouth was plundered by the assured swipes of Parker’s tongue as his lover kissed him deeply. Lonnie allowed himself to be taken by Parker, gave him the lead. The headiness of being held safe in Parker’s care crept up on him again, and he was reminded how incredibly fortunate he was to be with him.
Parker broke their connection then looked him in the eyes as he had before.
“What did I do to upset you a little while ago?”
“I was being stupid.”
“It bothered you so it’s not stupid. Please talk to me.”
Lonnie tried to twist away, ashamed by his childish behavior. Parker held him fast, grasping his chin so that he couldn’t escape him. Lonnie finally met his gaze.
“Okay, fine. I just… It seemed like you might be embarrassed by me because you pulled away when I tried to mark you. You know, like you were afraid people might know.”
Parker grabbed him in a tight embrace then whispered next to his ear, “Honey, that wasn’t why I pulled away from you. I can’t have any marks showing on my neck above my uniform collar.” Parker nibbled at his lobe. “But you can give me as many as you want anywhere else. I’d really like it if you would.”
Lonnie wriggled in Parker’s grasp, desire gathering low in his belly as the certainty of Parker’s words filled him. He maneuvered himself until he was straddling Parker, then pushed him down lengthways on the sofa. Stretching across him, Lonnie lay so that he could latch onto the skin above Parker’s right nipple. There was a hissing sound as Parker arched his back and Lonnie had to work not to smile against his skin and break the suction.
He sucked and licked, alternating the spots on Parker’s chest where he’d left his mark. It was addictive to brand him that way. The possessive streak over Parker that he’d first noticed at the hospital rose up stronger than ever.
Parker caressed and kneaded Lonnie’s flesh in a gentle way that reinforced their bond but left Lonnie in control. The heat built, Lonnie’s dick hardening as he squirmed against Parker’s torso. He wanted Parker, wanted to claim his ass. He was sure his arm was better enough that he could take him the way he wanted.
He lifted his head to catch Parker’s eye. “Get out of your pajamas. I’m gonna fuck you.”
Lonnie rose off the couch, Parker’s startled expression sending a thrill through him. After taking one last glance at Parker hurriedly removing his sleep pants, Lonnie jogged to the bedroom to grab the lube and condoms. It was so fucking great to be the one calling the shots. He hoped that Parker wouldn’t get tired of it, that it wasn’t merely something that he was only tolerating until they’d been together for a while.
Yeah. I think we could be.
Once the supplies had been retrieved, Lonnie rushed back to the living room. He caught his breath when he reached the threshold of the area. Parker lay nude on his back, his long legs crossed at the ankles, his ball sac and beautiful semi-erect shaft nestled atop them. His arms were folded behind his head and his lips were curled up at the edges. Parker was displayed as though he were an offering to Lonnie, a gift for him. Lonnie approached the couch and let his fingers trace up Parker from the top of his foot, along his shin, across his kneecap, his narrow hip then up his torso. He left a trail of gooseflesh in his wake and a light flush rose up on Parker’s skin.
To his delight, Parker had lengthened, hard and leaking. Others had wanted Lonnie, had paid for him. But they hadn’t seen who he was, and they especially hadn’t cared. With Parker, everything was different. Parker wanted all of him, looked a
t him as if he were special. Lonnie had never felt special, not until Parker had entered his life.
His erection tented the pajama bottoms he wore, his sensitized tip rubbing against them uncomfortably. Lonnie reluctantly removed his hand from Parker’s body to discard the pants. He noted with satisfaction the way Parker watched his movements, the way his breathing increased slightly, how he swiped his tongue across his bottom lip.
Lonnie straightened after stepping out of the pajamas. His dick bobbed and all he could think of was moving inside Parker’s tight heat. He leaned over to kiss Parker and Parker slid his hand up the inside of Lonnie’s thigh, stopping under his sac. He rubbed his thumb along the sensitive skin where Lonnie’s leg joined with his pelvis, and cupped the bottom of an ass cheek with his fingers. Lonnie moaned into Parker’s mouth then stood.
Parker didn’t remove his hand. “Will you let me suck you?”
Ever since the first time they’d fucked, Parker had continued to let Lonnie direct everything they did. He never took without asking. A wave of emotion surged through him and he promised himself he would do what Parker had suggested. He would go see a counselor, would do whatever it took to deal with his demons. Lonnie deserved to be happy and Parker deserved the absolute best Lonnie had to offer.
“You want my cock in your mouth?”
Parker groaned, and he grabbed his own dick. Lonnie encircled Parker’s wrist.
“Let go and you can have it.”
Parker released his own obviously throbbing shaft immediately.
“Lonnie…”
“What? What do you want?”
Parker inhaled sharply. “Your cock slamming into me, down my throat.”
Lonnie noted how Parker clutched the back of the sofa with one hand, the cushion with the other.
“You’re being very good, not touching yourself. Don’t touch me either. I’m gonna give you what you want, but I’m gonna fuck your hot ass too.”
Parker nodded, his eyes hooded, his breathing ramping up. He turned his head to the side, offering his mouth to Lonnie. As soon as the spongy end of Lonnie’s swollen erection pushed past Parker’s lips, his lover took him all the way in, swallowing around him. The moist cavern of Parker’s mouth made him gasp and he clutched at Parker’s hair to hold him still. He pulled all the way out, and Parker gulped in air. He worried that he’d gone too far, but Parker opened up to him again.
Lonnie snapped his hips forward, fucking Parker’s face. He never went too deep, mindful of choking him. But the way Parker lavished attention on his needy shaft was incredible. Parker ran his tongue along Lonnie’s length then swirled it around the head before dipping in his slit. He repeated the move several times then alternated it with flicking his glans or sucking the tip. Spit trailed down Parker’s face and onto the cushions as he enthusiastically ate Lonnie’s cock.
Lonnie cried out, almost losing his balance as Parker grasped his ass cheeks to swallow him all the way down. He wanted to admonish Parker about touching him after Lonnie had told him not to, but Parker’s throat muscles were working around his dick, squeezing it and making his mind go blank. His nuts tightened abruptly and he grabbed at Parker’s hands.
“Oh shit, no, let go.”
Parker released the suctioning hold he had on Lonnie, but he almost lost it anyway when he exited Parker’s mouth, his tip dragging over Parker’s soft, wet lips. He fisted the base of his shaft, pressing his thumb against the underside. After taking a few deep swallows of air, he regained control.
Barely able to catch his breath, Lonnie managed to choke out, “Turn over.”
Parker did as he was told, giving Lonnie a wonderful view of his stunning rear. Lonnie caressed it, the taut muscles lightly flexing as he responded to Lonnie’s touch. Lonnie swept his hand along the back of Parker’s thigh, the one hanging down over the side of the sofa. He gently encouraged him to bend at the knee, Parker allowing himself to be manipulated.
The previous week had been a wonder to Lonnie. Making love with Parker had empowered him, given him a sense of being strong. He no longer wanted to be filled with the fear that he was lost or used. He wanted to believe that he was important, that he mattered. It was time to start behaving like it instead of giving in to his insecurities at the slightest hint that everything wasn’t perfect.
Without looking away, Lonnie rolled the condom over his hard, aching flesh then lubed up both his hand and dick. He felt in between Parker’s cheeks, running his fingers along the vulnerable skin, paying particularly attention to Parker’s wrinkled hole. Lonnie teased Parker’s crease. Little cries and whimpers fell from Parker’s lips as he gyrated his hips, humping the sofa.
“Should I give you more?”
“Yes.” Parker’s answer had come out on a gasp. “Everything. Give me everything.”
Lonnie pressed one digit into Parker’s asshole, sinking it in as far as he could go in one thrust. He easily found Parker’s gland and massaged it, Parker jerking as Lonnie hit home. Parker was his to play with, to enjoy. He supported himself with one hand against the back of the couch then added a second finger inside Parker’s slick channel with the other. It was a wonder to watch how enthusiastically Parker responded to him. He was so fucking lucky.
“Mmm, that’s it. One more and I’m gonna fuck you good.”
As soon as Lonnie added a third finger, Parker shoved his ass back forcefully as if to get Lonnie to go deeper. Lonnie twisted his hand, scissoring Parker, stretching him so that he could pound him good. Satisfied that he could take Parker hard without hurting him, he withdrew then placed one knee between Parker’s legs, spreading him wider. Lonnie planted his other foot on the floor to leverage himself. He pressed the head of his dick against Parker’s opening then plunged into him in one swift move.
Parker grunted and Lonnie stilled.
“Okay?”
“God, yes. Don’t hold back.”
Leaning over Parker, he gently kissed his shoulders and the top of his back several times. He pulled almost all the way out of Parker’s ass then slammed back in until his balls were flush to where Parker’s were pressed against the cushion. Lonnie repeated the move again. Then again. He picked up an insistent rhythm, clutching one of his shoulders and pounding into Parker relentlessly. Sweat gathered across his forehead and along his chest until it dripped onto Parker’s back. Parker shifted, lifting one hip then reaching under himself to grab his own dick.
“Yeah, Parker. Do it.”
Lonnie was panting, anxious to come, but wanting Parker there with him. The first pulse rippled around Lonnie’s cock and he yelled, shooting into the condom. He fell across Parker’s back as Parker came apart around him, his lover’s insides milking him so good. Even as they both fought to bring their breathing back to normal, Parker reached up to cover Lonnie’s hand with his. He had to smile. Parker’s fingers were covered in spunk, but Lonnie didn’t care. All that mattered was their connection.
After a few minutes, Lonnie softened and he had no choice but to grab the rubber as he slipped from Parker’s body. He rolled off Parker then tied up the condom before dropping it on the floor where he would deal with it after he’d held Parker for a while. Parker sat up gingerly and leaned into Lonnie. A twinge of concern washed over him, he hadn’t meant to cause his lover any pain. Something must’ve shown in his expression.
“Don’t worry, honey. I loved it. You were incredible.”
“I hurt you.”
Parker angled his body then lowered his head to move in for a kiss. It was impossible for Lonnie to imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t melt whenever Parker’s lips touched his. As Parker dipped his tongue into Lonnie’s mouth over and over, he answered back, Parker’s taste so addictive. After Parker stopped, he still held Lonnie close as he stared into his eyes.
It’s there. I think he feels the way I do.
He still had the sense that he was falling in love with Parker, but wasn’t sure how to tell when ‘falling’ actually became ‘fell’. His only experien
ce with emotions involving others primarily revolved around hurt, disappointment and anger. He knew that whatever he’d felt toward Chad had been colored by a healthy dose of teenage lust. Once they’d been forcibly separated and Lonnie had been thrown on the streets, all he’d been able to focus on was his own survival.
Parker continued to gaze at him with what seemed like adoration, using his clean hand to stroke Lonnie’s face then run his fingers through his hair. Lonnie swallowed, heat rising to his cheeks. As much as his traitorous mind attempted to scream at him that he wasn’t worthy of such admiration, he forced himself not to dwell on it. He wanted Parker’s love more than anything, but his fears were relentless.
God, I could really use a drink.
His forced abstinence in the hospital had helped a lot, but the craving still came over him whenever he got stressed out. He hadn’t mentioned it to Parker. It wasn’t as if he was out of control, but he didn’t ever want there to be anything he kept from Parker either.
“I love watching you when you’re like this. I can practically see those wheels turning in your head.”
Parker carded his fingers through Lonnie’s hair, lifting it high then letting it fan back over his forehead.
“I really didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Parker embraced him tighter. “It’s a good hurt. I’ll feel you even when we’re not together. I’ll carry you with me.”
“Shit, Parker.” He squirmed. “That’s really hot.”
They kissed some more—softly, leisurely. Parker chuckled against Lonnie’s mouth. He angled his head back to look into Parker’s eyes.
“What?”
“I was just thinking. Until I get some cleaner for the sofa, I might have to turn the cushion over.”
Lonnie frowned briefly before it dawned on him to what Parker was referring to. He cringed.
“Sorry.”
Parker laughed heartily. “What are you sorry for? You’re not the one who nutted all over the couch.” He winked at him. “I heard some rumors that someone was making spaghetti. Is that true?”
Copping an Attitude Page 12