Lonnie snorted. “Funny. Hopefully, it won’t be too big of a disaster.”
Parker jostled him in his arms. “Stop it. I’m sure it’ll be great.” Parker pressed a kiss to Lonnie’s temple. “Plus, I’m starving. But I think I’ll go jump into the shower first—I’m a bit crusty.”
After releasing Lonnie, Parker stood, then offered his hand to him.
“Care to join me?”
Lonnie nodded.
Always.
Chapter Ten
It was startling to Parker when he stopped to think about how much his life had been altered in only a few weeks. The last thing he’d expected to happen was to find someone to care about—particularly in the course of doing his job. Ever the practical man, Parker had always lived somewhat by the book. He’d decided early on to pursue a career in law enforcement, had set his course, then had worked hard to secure a decent life for himself.
But not only for himself. His biggest desire had been for a partner to share in that life with him. He’d been fortunate to have a good upbringing, a family filled with love. It was time for him to build his future with a man of his own. He couldn’t decide what it was about Lonnie that spoke to him deep in his heart, but it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced toward another person before. Somewhere inside Lonnie was a man aching to share his love and to be loved in return.
But as much as Parker wanted to take care of him, he could also sense how fiercely protective and loyal Lonnie would be about him. Parker was certain that it went beyond the need to be in control. There were also indicators that Lonnie wanted to give of himself. As much as he still feared the possibility that it was too soon to expect that Lonnie was ready for any type of long-term relationship, Parker was willing to try, willing to risk being crushed if he were to lose Lonnie as a partner.
Parker pulled into the station, ready for another long shift. Darren had only harassed him his first night back after Lonnie had moved in, but it had seemed to be fairly good-natured. He hadn’t dared tell Lonnie that not everyone he worked with had been so cool about their relationship. After what had happened earlier, Parker didn’t want to upset his young lover any further.
He’s not the only one feeling protective.
Parker couldn’t hold back a smile. It was obvious that they were both intent on taking care of the other. That alone spoke to Parker in a way that everything else that had transpired between them hadn’t. There was a bond. He only needed to be patient to see what that bond would mean for the both of them.
After locking up his car, he headed into the station. The first person he saw was Sergeant Lopez walking toward him. Parker had the suspicion that Lopez had been waiting for his arrival. There was a definite air to his boss that concerned him—the pursed lips, disgusted scowls and resigned sighs Lopez had perpetually used every time he’d been in Parker’s presence recently had been definite indicators. They had alerted him to the fact that the Sergeant was less than thrilled over his and Lonnie’s relationship since they’d always accompanied random comments about Lonnie. At least the Sergeant had quit referring to him as Slade.
There wasn’t a whole hell of a lot Lopez could do about it since he and Lonnie hadn’t crossed any definite lines. They may have danced on the edges of them—but greatly disliking what Parker did on his own time versus Parker breaking departmental rules on his own time were two completely different things.
“McLean.”
“Sergeant Lopez.”
Their communications had been even more clipped than usual. Parker felt his arm being grabbed as he tried to walk past his cranky boss.
“As much as I don’t want to, I’m going to assume that you and the young man who was beaten by the Russians are still cohabitating?”
Parker wanted to keep his job. It was the only motivator keeping him from shooting off at the mouth toward his boss.
“Yes, sir. We are.”
In three, two…
Lopez sighed.
One.
“Of course you are.” Lopez changed it up with a smirk. “Detective Williams and his team are working very hard on this case. I don’t need to worry about you, do I?”
“Sir?”
Parker had no idea what his boss was getting at. Two officers were approaching them from down the hall. Parker wondered that Lopez hadn’t taken him into his office for a private chat if he had any real issues to discuss.
“I’m not going to find out anything different from what I already know, am I?”
Resisting the urge to groan, Parker attempted to maintain as much of a professional air about him as he possibly could. “Different, sir?”
The officers passed them, and Parker noted the way they kept their gazes trained on the floor. He coughed nervously, not sure if he was imagining that people were avoiding looking at him. To his credit, Sergeant Lopez waited until they were alone again before he answered Parker’s query.
“The night that kid got attacked. You told me there had been nothing between you, that you’d never hired him.”
In an effort to rein in his anger before he spoke, Parker took a deep breath. “That’s the absolute truth, sir. I’m not certain how I could ever prove that, but I’d like to think that my record at the department would at least speak for me somewhat. I believe I’ve never given you any cause to question me?”
The sergeant pursed his lips, and he narrowed his eyes as he considered Parker. At last he nodded. “You seem happier than I’ve ever seen you before. Like you’re content or something.”
If his boss had slapped him he wasn’t sure he could’ve been more surprised. Lopez had always been a hard ass and Parker wasn’t even sure he’d ever heard the man use the word ‘happy’ before in any context.
“Um… Yes, now that you mention it, I am.” Parker decided not to elaborate.
Lopez crossed his arms, the scowl on his face as he stared down Parker not softening at all.
“I’m not gonna pretend I’m thrilled about how you ended up that way, but I’ll take your word that there never were any improprieties. In the meantime, make sure your…” His scowl deepened as if he was digging for the right word to use.
“Boyfriend.”
The sigh made a reappearance. “Boyfriend remains available, in case Detective Williams gets any leads on those Russians or that slime Julio Estevez.”
Parker fought to keep his composure at the mention of Julio’s name. “That would never be a concern, sir. I guarantee it.”
Lopez grunted. “Don’t you have a shift right about now that you should be getting ready for?”
“Yes, sir.”
After a final nod of acknowledgment, Lopez continued down the hall in the direction he’d originally been going before he’d stopped Parker. An uneasy sensation lodged itself under his skin.
Julio.
He hadn’t given the rat bastard any thought since he’d brought Lonnie home. His apartment was in a security building and the few excursions they’d had in the week since Lonnie had moved in had been brief and only when they were together. Parker had been lost in the joy of having Lonnie with him. Even when Lonnie had become upset over things, Parker had understood. Lonnie still had a lot of issues to work through.
Maybe I should talk to Trent.
His fellow officer, Shawn, had been through a lot with his partner, Trent. The burly fireman had been devastated after the murder of his former lover, and his trauma had almost destroyed his burgeoning relationship with Shawn. It had only been the threat of losing Shawn that had motivated the typically closed off fireman to seek help. If Parker could get Trent to speak with Lonnie and encourage him, maybe it would help.
Or piss him off more.
Parker found himself doing his own sighing. He’d reached the locker room and would have to get ready in double time to keep from being late. His thoughts of Lonnie and getting him help through counseling wouldn’t dissipate. It was a good bet he’d run across Shawn that night if he was on shift. If nothing else, he’d at l
east get his cell number and ask to speak with him when they were off duty. He couldn’t stand to watch someone suffer whom he cared about so deeply.
* * * *
The Internet was useless. Lonnie couldn’t find out any new information on the Russians or Julio or anything. Parker had given him free rein to use his computer, or for that matter, anything in his home. The trust that Parker had shown him really blew Lonnie away. Lonnie was a complete stranger to him. At least, he had been. In reality, Lonnie was also a criminal—being a sex worker was illegal. More than ever, Lonnie was determined to get the help he needed. Parker really did deserve the best Lonnie had to offer.
It was a Monday night, and once Parker had completed his shift, he’d have the following three days off. He’d promised Lonnie they could go out and do something fun, whatever he wanted. His stomach had twisted at the suggestion initially. Where could he go on the Strip where he wouldn’t be recognized, or even more humiliatingly, where he hadn’t been trespassed? Parker had seemed to sense his dilemma and had told him they could go somewhere completely different, maybe take a drive and see where they ended up—maybe even spend the night.
That had made his stomach react in a completely different way. The idea that he would get to go on a mini road trip with his boyfriend was too exciting. It was just like they were a normal couple and everything.
Dammit, Lonnie. We are a normal couple.
Except for two lingering issues. Maybe three if he wanted to include the possibility that his ex pimp might be out to get him or that some Russian dudes still inexplicably wanted to kill him. He shivered and promptly pushed those disturbing thoughts from his mind. He focused back on him and Parker. In the name of the two of them living the life of a regular couple in the way that Lonnie craved, he would get counseling and discuss his alcohol cravings with Parker.
The day before, when he’d blown up at Parker over the suggestion that he speak to someone, Lonnie had searched through the cabinets to find something to drink while Parker was at work. He would’ve drunk anything, but he’d hit pay dirt when he’d come across a small stash of liquor in one of the bottom kitchen cabinets. There had been a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.
He’d grabbed it and unscrewed the top, the aroma of the booze hitting his nostrils and making his mouth water. Right as he’d been about to take a drink straight from the container, he’d stopped. A stab of guilt had surged through him. Was he really willing to jeopardize what might be building between him and Parker for the momentary numbness of a drink or three? When the answer had been too close to a yes, he’d known that he needed real help.
Lonnie continued his search, occasionally running across stories that would distract him. When nothing seemed to pan out regarding what he’d been looking for, he decided to check out the curriculum for the spring term at the local community college. Parker had been encouraging him to pursue his previous desire to work on graphic novels, but Lonnie had some other ideas he hadn’t told Parker about yet. He still wasn’t sure he believed in himself enough yet to go through with it.
He wanted to be a social worker. He wasn’t sure what kind, or what he needed to do to be one, but he wanted to do something to help kids like him who’d been left with few options. He would still draw and do something with the graphic novels, but he wanted it to be something fun he did on the side—not his career.
As he perused, a message popped up on the computer. Lonnie squinted at the screen. The avatar was of an incredibly handsome blond man. He froze, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. A rush of jealousy and sickening fear ran through him. Who the hell was this guy? Logically, he knew that it could be anyone. For all he knew, the man could be Parker’s distant cousin.
Or lover.
Nausea roiled through him. There was some small area of his brain that screamed at him that Parker wouldn’t have moved him into his home if he were still seeing someone else. But the bigger part of his mind had latched on to how gorgeous the man in the avatar was with his tanned skin and beautiful smile. The guy reeked of respectability and was likely an accomplished person with an education and probably some fancy job complete with the fancy car and home.
How can I ever compete with that?
He stared at the small round picture, wrestling with himself over what to do. The right thing to do would be to ignore it—it was none of his business. But then there was what he was compelled to do and he had less control over that than he did to his resistance to alcohol. He clicked on the avatar.
Sorry I didn’t get back to you before, I wasn’t ready yet. I’m in town. Drinks? We don’t have to be strangers. We’ve invested too much into getting to know one another to completely toss it away. Hope you feel the same.
He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t stop the crazy emotions crashing through him.
Oh, Jesus. Oh fuck.
The urge to run out of the apartment, to run away, totally overwhelmed him. He didn’t have a dime on him, other than the few bucks Parker had left in his drawer in case Lonnie needed to pick anything up for himself. He didn’t have anything else other than the clothes Parker had purchased for him.
Had Parker been dumped by this guy then taken Lonnie on out of desperation on the rebound? Another more insidious thought crept in. What if Parker had been planning all along to keep him there as his own personal play toy while he kept up a relationship with a regular guy, one who he already had ‘too much’ invested in? Would he toss Lonnie out for good eventually when he’d tired of him or when his ex asked to take him back?
He choked on a sob. The thought ran through his mind that he should wait until Parker got home, give him a chance to explain. But he couldn’t stay there one second longer. It would be too devastating if Parker confessed to him what he didn’t want to hear. That the feelings that Lonnie had thought were developing between them weren’t real.
After jumping up from the computer, he went to the hall closet then grabbed the hoodie Parker had bought for him. His stomach clenched when his mind automatically went to how he could make some quick cash. He would try to locate a couple of regulars and get enough for a bus ticket and some food. Then he was done with Vegas for good. It had given him nothing except never-ending heartache since he’d set foot within the limits of Sin City.
But the biggest hurt of all was finding hope with Parker then losing it. He couldn’t bear the pain.
* * * *
After another crazy night of dope dealers, drunken tourists and a man who insisted he was about to give birth to a dinosaur egg, Parker was anxious to get back to his sweet Lonnie. Nothing could compare to the thrill of coming home after an exhausting shift then climbing into bed and wrapping himself around his boyfriend’s warm body.
Boyfriend. What a wonderful word.
He glanced around the locker room as he changed into his street clothes. All he needed was someone to walk in and catch an eyeful of his woody clearly outlined in his briefs. Fortunately, it wasn’t too busy and most of the men were either lost in their own thoughts as they changed or chatting.
Parker finished up then headed out the door. There’d been a brief moment when they’d been helping pregnant dinosaur guy where he and Shawn had been able to talk. Shawn had given Parker his cell number and had assured him that Trent would be happy to help. Parker was also hoping that maybe Trent might even speak to Lonnie. The fireman was a no-nonsense man of few words, and would be a good example to Lonnie of someone who was very masculine, but not afraid to talk about his issues with a counselor.
The ride home was quick and Parker yawned as he unlocked the door to his apartment.
Our apartment.
He was anxious to get inside, anxious to be with Lonnie as soon as possible. He smiled to himself, another reminder of how ridiculously happy having Lonnie in his life had made him. Even his cranky boss had noticed the difference.
When the door swung open, he was surprised to note that his laptop was on and so were several lights. Had Lonnie stayed up all night waiting for him? Som
ething wasn’t right. He dropped his duffle bag on the floor then quickly closed the door behind him. He was filled with an overwhelming urge to find Lonnie immediately. Jogging toward their room, he didn’t call out in case Lonnie had simply fallen asleep and had forgotten to shut everything off.
His heart seemed to jump into his throat when he saw the bed neatly made, no sign of Lonnie anywhere. He covered his mouth, stifling what he was sure would be a cry. Taking a deep breath, he removed his shaking hands. Terror crept up his spine at the thought that Julio might have gotten him.
There was no forced entry.
None of it made sense. He hurried back into the main area, checking the table then the living room for a note or anything else that might give him an indicator as to where Lonnie had gone. Parker opened the hall closet and saw that Lonnie’s hoodie was gone. It sparked something else in him and he ran back into the bedroom to check the drawers and closet. He frowned when he saw that everything was there.
Had he simply gone out for a walk? That was crazy—it was seven o’clock in the morning and he knew Parker would be back. Another horrible thought struck him. What if Lonnie had gone out the night before to get something to eat or go to the store and Julio had gotten to him?
“Shit, shit, shit.”
Parker ran his hands across the top of his head, clutching at the strands, fear racing through his veins. He didn’t care if everyone at the station thought he was overreacting or if Lonnie came back and it made him look like a fool—he was calling for help. After digging in his pocket for his cell, he went to sit at the kitchen table, his legs so shaky he thought he might collapse. Trying to keep his wits about him, he pondered who would be the best person for him to contact first.
Beau.
He pulled the detective’s name up in his contacts list then tapped the phone icon. A rather sleepy Beau answered after the first ring.
“Sorry to wake you, Beau, it’s Parker.”
Copping an Attitude Page 13