Wolf Moon

by A. D. Ryan

  “You’re not fucking serious.”

  The mouth on this woman was unbelievable, and I wondered what it was he saw in her.

  “It’s true,” he confirmed.

  Another pause fell between them, and then I sensed a shift in Roxanne’s mood. It went from angry to smug in a heartbeat. “Does she know about us?”

  “She walked in on you in my bedroom. I’m sure she’s connected the dots.”

  I took another involuntary step toward the door, listening a little more closely as she lowered her voice. I blamed the detective in me for being overly curious. Their voices were clearer now, and through the slight crack in the door, I saw that there was only an inch or two between her and Nick. She stared up at him seductively, running her finger up his chest and toying with the collar of his sweater. I instantly saw red. Even though I imagined ripping her limb from limb, I held back because Nick didn’t look the slightest bit interested.

  “Does she know how rough you get? She doesn’t look like the type who’s into that sort of thing.”

  Nick shoved her hand away angrily, and she laughed.

  “Well, I’m right next door when you get bored and need a proper release.”

  The second she turned and walked away, I moved away from the door, breathing heavily. I was angry and confused about what the hell just happened. With every breath, I caught her scent, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. I went over to the bed and began pulling the pillow cases off, tossing everything into different piles before I stripped the blanket off the bed.

  Nick reentered the room just as I tugged at the corner of the fitted sheet, and I looked up to find his curious eyes on me. “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “I’m not sleeping in this bed as long as it smells like her.”

  Nick leaned against the post at the end of the bed—it was the first time I noticed the exquisite solid wood, four-post bed frame. Funny how a naked harlot can draw your attention from anything else. He crossed his arms and smirked while I fought with the far corner of the sheet, and it annoyed me.

  “What exactly do you find so amusing about this entire situation?” I demanded, finally wrestling the sheet free and bundling it up wildly before throwing it at him.

  He slapped it aside and laughed. “Are you jealous?”

  Nerves caused my stomach to roll, and I froze. “Jealous?” I scoffed. What a ridiculous thought. I was playing a part. Nothing more. “Hardly.” I was starting to sound less convincing to myself as I realized he might be right.

  Considering this for a minute, he finally pushed off the post and rounded the bed. “I beg to differ,” he argued, sitting on the edge of his bed in front of me. He didn’t reach for me, but he held eye contact with me and sighed. “Roxy and I have a history.”

  “No shit,” I retorted, and this seemed to irritate him.

  His eyes narrowed slightly. He looked like he was getting defensive as he crossed his arms in front of him. “Look, you didn’t exactly have any trouble finding someone to keep my side of the bed warm,” he shot back, his words like a punch to the gut.

  I took a few unsteady steps back, suddenly nauseous from the sting of his words. “How dare you,” I seethed, the words coming out strained as I struggled for breath. That hole in my chest suddenly opened up again. Tears fell from my eyes without warning, and Nick shot to his feet, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. He reached for me, but I smacked his hands away. “Don’t touch me!” I shouted, backing against one of the large windows and feeling the chill against my body.

  “Brooke, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “You left me, remember?” He shut his mouth to let me finish, but I couldn’t because the truth of it was I was jealous…and I had absolutely no right to be. I had no claim over Nick before and even now. Especially now. I should have still been torn up about David being gone, and here I was acting like a jealous girlfriend meeting her boyfriend’s ex. What the hell kind of person did that?

  The guilt of momentarily forgetting about David hit me harder than Nick’s earlier words, and I panicked. “I-I need some air,” I mumbled, pushing past Nick and leaving the room. I heard him right behind me, but I didn’t stop. I ran down the stairs, right past Corbin and some dark-haired girl who looked to be a little younger than him.

  “Brooke?” Corbin called after me.

  “I’m sorry,” I murmured as I continued on my way.

  “Brooke, wait!” Nick shouted as I pulled the door open and fled.

  Once I was outside, I didn’t know where I was going. It was cold, but it didn’t seem to affect me the way it did when I was just a human. Plus, I didn’t care. There was no time to stop, because if I did, Nick would catch up with me, and I just wanted to be alone. Apparently, I sucked at dealing with shit when the wounds were fresh. I much preferred to keep them exposed and let them fester.

  I went right, following a path around the side of the house that was made by someone else. As I ran, I passed a snow-covered tennis court and lost my footing on a patch of ice. After regaining it, I kept on going. Straight ahead, I saw a copse of trees in the middle of what looked like a pond—of course this place had its own little island. Why wouldn’t it?

  I decided I wanted to go there. I knew Nick could track me, and I was actually surprised to not hear him behind me. I found the wooden bridge that led to this little island and crossed it. Hidden amongst the frost-covered trees, there was a tiny gazebo. Sitting down, I imagined how beautiful this place might look in the spring and summer when the trees were green and had birds chirping in their nests. I wasn’t sure which I liked more. This winter wonderland, or my imagined green paradise. They both held appeal.

  What didn’t hold appeal was my current situation.

  I buried my face in my hands and shook my head. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. When the crying started, I pulled my feet onto the bench and hugged my knees to my chest. The pain in my heart hurt less like this—not much, but a little. It was a temporary fix; a patch. “David, I’m sorry for everything that happened.” The wind whistled as if in response, and I smiled softly, brushing my tears away. “I miss you so much, and want nothing more than for you to be with me.” Another sob broke free. “But you’re not, and I feel guilty. For not being able to save you. For throwing myself at Nick as a means to forget about the pain your absence has left. It was wrong, and I’m a horrible person.”

  “No, you’re not,” a voice spoke up, startling me.

  I stood up, muscles tensed and the hairs on the back of my neck on end. Slowly, Jackson stepped out of the trees, and I growled defensively.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said with a shrug. “I was out here trying to escape the family reunion back at the manor when you showed up.” Even with so much space between us, I swore I smelled cigarette smoke.

  I turned to leave, but Jackson hopped the side of the gazebo with ease and stopped me. “You’re not a horrible person,” he said, surprising me. “You lost someone, and that pain is indescribable. There’s a part of you that’s left void,” he continued, turning away from me and scanning the trees in the distance. I watched him, still tensed and wary. “And sometimes it feels like the only way to fill that void is by distracting yourself with something else…someone else.”

  “You sound like you’re talking from personal experience,” I blurted out.

  Jackson shrugged, turning around and leaning against the railing. “About fifteen years ago—when I was turned—I lost my wife and seven-year-old son.”

  I gasped, slapping my hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

  “Not something I go around advertising,” he said monotonously. “We were out at a movie one night, and on our way home, the car somehow got a flat.” He laughed humorlessly. “Pissed me off, too, because we’d just had the damn things replaced. I was out changing the tire when I heard glass shatter and my wife and son screaming. I stood up and saw two men hauling my family out of the car.

  “At the time I ha
d no idea what I was seeing. I figured they were just some common criminals…but their teeth…”

  “Vampires,” I whispered, and Jackson nodded.

  “I charged them, but they were so fast and strong. I was too late. My son and wife were dead before I reached them, their necks snapped and bleeding out from where they’d been bitten. I tried to fight the men, but they quickly overpowered me. I finally just gave up and was about to accept my fate when three large wolves came out of the woods and an all-out war began.”

  I was hanging on his every word, my heart hammering and my breathing heavy.

  “I got caught up in the struggle between them all, and somewhere along the way, I was bitten. Marcus didn’t mean to, but in the thick of it, he’d smelled them on me and mistook me for one of them. He knew the second his teeth penetrated my skin what he’d done.

  “By the time the fight was over, Marcus shifted and took care of me. None of what he said mattered to me in the wake of my family’s murder. All I wanted was to join them.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head as I fell back down to the bench.

  “No need to be, kid. It was a long time ago.” Jackson crossed the gazebo and sat next to me. “Anyway, my point is, sometimes the grief just gets to be too much and we need to be able to shut it off in order to function. You’re not a horrible person for doing that. If you didn’t, it would eat you alive.”

  “H-how…” I sighed. “Maybe this is stupid, but how long before the pain stopped?”

  “Stopped?” Jackson offered me a surprisingly kind smile. “The pain never stops, Brooke. You’ll never forget those you’ve lost, but you have to remember the good times you shared instead of how they died. And while the grief you feel is very, excruciatingly real, they’re gone. It’s not an insult to their memory to seek solace in the arms of an old lover. It’s an insult to not go on with your life.”

  His heartfelt attempt to empathize with me left me breathless. In that one moment, I felt closer to Jackson than I’d ever dreamed possible. To know that he’d gone through something eerily similar to what happened with David connected us in a way I couldn’t describe.

  Jackson patted my shoulder and then stood up. He was just about to leave the gazebo when I called out to him. He turned around, eyebrows raised quizzically. “Yeah?”

  “Why did you do it?” I asked, and when I saw the confusion in his eyes, I elaborated. “Why did you…bite me?”

  “Bite you?” He was silent for a minute, looking somewhat nervous, shocked, and unsure of how to answer. “Brooke, I didn’t…” He exhaled heavily before catching and holding my gaze. “Believe me when I tell you that what happened to you was an accident,” he finally replied. “What you have to understand is that when we’re in our wolf form—particularly when a vampire is near—we’re disoriented and sometimes we make mistakes.”

  As he explained this, I recalled the feeling he described. I’d experienced that confusion both times I’d shifted and a vampire’s scent had filled my head.

  Before he could leave, I stood up. “I’m sorry David shot you. You’re not as bad as I thought you were.”

  Jackson laughed and shook his head. “Truth be told, I didn’t even feel it. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it, kid. Have a good night.”

  “You too,” I called after him. “And thanks.” He turned to me. “For the talk.”

  I sat there for a few more minutes and reviewed everything he’d told me. Deep down, I knew that what happened to David wasn’t my fault, and Nick had been telling me the same thing time and time again, but that didn’t negate my guilt. I still needed time to work through my grief. My heart needed time to heal, even if it remembered and craved how easy it was to be with Nick and turn off everything else.

  God, how I wanted to turn it all off and just lose myself in anything but this empty feeling.

  By sundown, the sky above the mountains looked like it had been lit on fire with shades of orange, yellow, and pink. It was so beautiful, but the temperature dropped significantly despite its magnificence, so I decided to head back.

  As I crossed the little bridge, the wind picked up and cut through my wool sweater, and I experienced the chill of a Canadian winter for the first time. I picked up my pace, watching my footing every step of the way to avoid any patches of ice, and when I reached the back corner of the house, I looked up to find Nick waiting for me in the front.

  I offered him a nervous smile and continued toward him. When I reached him, I stopped and looked up into his eyes. “I’m sorry,” we both said at the same time before lightly laughing. I opened my arms and wrapped them around Nick’s waist, and he did the same, holding me and kissing the top of my head. The emotion behind this gesture was obvious, but he had promised not to push, and I appreciated it.

  I shivered when another snap of wind picked up, and Nick turned us toward the front door, keeping one of his arms wrapped around me. “Come on, let’s head inside. Dinner will be ready soon, and I’d like to talk a bit more before that happens.”

  We headed inside, and as we climbed the stairs and headed for our room, the door next to ours opened, and Roxy stepped out, dressed in the tightest pair of jeans and a low-cut red sweater. She eyed us as we walked past, but Nick didn’t seem to notice her. His focus was solely on me…

  And I could see just how much it pissed her off as we stepped into our room and closed the door.

  Chapter 6 | war

  After putting my things in the empty dresser drawers and hanging any clothes that required it in the ridiculously oversized walk-in closet, I sat in the middle of the bed with my legs crossed. Nick had changed the bedding—I didn’t know where the other stuff was, but this set was a beautiful array of rich brown and gold with deep red accents. It smelled like fresh laundry, all detergent and fabric softener. Way better than naked, horny werewolf skank.

  I still had a few jealousy issues to work out.

  For the first time since we arrived, I got a chance to really admire Nick’s room. It was huge—which shouldn’t have been too surprising given the impressive size of rest of the house. Two deep red armchairs sat in front of the windows, facing inward with a table in between them, and there was a fireplace across from the foot of the king-sized bed. There was a fair-sized ensuite bathroom that had a Jacuzzi tub and a shower stall that would put all others to shame. It literally took up half the room and had no glass door. Instead, there were tile walls built up about three feet on either side of the central entrance before curving up to the roof. I didn’t get a good look at it yet, but both sides looked to have regular showerheads, while the middle had one of those pricey waterfall ones that also had ten additional high pressure heads beneath it. It looked intense and like it would surely hit every square inch of your body. I didn’t know why anyone would ever really need one of those, and I couldn’t fathom how much something like that probably cost, but I was definitely going to have to give it a try.

  Nick stood at his dresser, putting the last of his clothes away, and when he was finished, he joined me on the bed. “I am sorry that you had to find out about Roxanne like that,” he said softly, sounding nervous to be bringing it up again. “We were never serious, and it hasn’t been going on that long.”

  “Nick,” I interjected. “You don’t owe me any explanations.”

  “I know. But I want to be honest with you.” He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck as if to relieve tension. “I’ve told you how I feel, and I’m pretty sure you know what that means. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready—whenever that is—but I want all the cards on the table. No secrets, remember?”

  A knock at the door interrupted us, and while I initially thought that maybe it was Roxanne coming to interrupt us—not that we were doing anything, really—my nose told me it was Corbin.

  “Mom said dinner’s ready,” he announced through the door before taking off.

  Nick stood up and held out his hand. “You ready?”

  Smiling, I took his hand an
d let him pull me to my feet. Before we left the room, he laced his fingers with mine and looked down at me. “There’s no need to come up with an elaborate story,” he explained quietly. “Everyone knows about you already, so we just need to tell them that we found each other again and decided to give it another try.”

  “Everyone?” I asked, stunned.

  Nick smiled, his cheeks turning pink. “I’ve talked about you a lot over the years.”

  “So, we’ve reconnected and decided to be together,” I repeated.

  “Correct.”

  Understanding, I nodded. “Okay then. Let’s do this.”

  We walked into the dining room together, and while not every seat at the elaborate table had been filled yet, there were several new faces. The head and foot of the table remained empty—something told me they belonged to Marcus and his wife—and there were two to the right of the head that remained empty. Nick led us to them and sat in the one at the corner while I took my place next to him.

  Across from Nick sat Jackson, and I offered him a small, appreciative smile which he responded to with a slight nod. Vince was seated next to him and a blonde woman with dark brown eyes sat across from me. She offered me a warm smile.

  “Hi,” she said in a light and airy voice. “I’m Layla. Vincent’s wife. You’re Brooke, right?” I nodded. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  “You too,” I expressed honestly as Corbin and the dark-haired girl from earlier walked in with a few covered casserole dishes. They looked somewhat alike, so I deduced them to be siblings.

  Nick leaned over, his hand resting on my thigh and making the skin beneath the denim buzz. I pushed the feeling away and shifted my leg until Nick pulled his hand back. He looked a little hurt, but he tried to mask it as he started introductions. “That’s Colby. Marcus’ seventeen-year-old daughter.”

  The two of them set the dishes on the table, then went back to the kitchen for more as Marcus walked in next, carrying a huge platter of ham. Directly behind him was a graceful, chestnut-haired woman carrying another.