Wolf Moon
Page 22
“So taking his life would be easy?”
“I’m not saying it would be easy—killing someone is never easy—but I’d make peace with it if it meant keeping the Pack safe…keeping you safe.”
All the breath left my lungs in a soft whoosh. I knew this still shouldn’t justify Karl’s death, but it sort of did. The wolf was more than appeased by my sudden shift in attitude, but it also unnerved me to think my humanity might be slipping. It was all very confusing, and I wasn’t sure if this internal conflict would ever be resolved.
“I won’t be deciding anything today,” Nick assured me, possibly sensing my conflict. “But the decision still needs to be made, and I will take anything you have to say into consideration.” He knelt in front of me, coaxing my eyes to his, and all I saw was his love and concern for me. “One way or the other, though, Karl will be leaving this Pack. If he is allowed to live, he will be outcast and won’t be able to settle down anywhere. Most strays are given land from the Pack in the area, but if someone has been cast out, they’re forced to keep moving. No Pack will allow them to put down roots. It not only shows respect to the wronged Pack, but also keeps their Pack safe from a repeat incident within their house.”
What Nick said made a lot of sense—strangely; I was still getting used to the Pack Law, but with every day that passed, the more willingly I accepted most of what I was told as fact. I didn’t even question it anymore; I just understood it as the way it worked. Unless it involved murder; that was my gray area.
A knock at the door pulled my focus from the topic at hand, and Nick got up to answer it. Miranda popped her head in and smiled when she saw me. “You’re awake,” she said, an air of relief in her voice. “How’s your head?”
“Sore, but intact. Thanks.”
“Good to hear.” She glanced between the two of us, her smile and good mood somewhat infectious. “Dinner’s almost ready. Will you be joining us?”
Nick glanced up at me expectantly, as though the decision was entirely mine. I nodded, looking back at Miranda. “We’ll be right down.”
“Take your time.”
Nick stood up and pulled me to my feet. “Think about what we talked about. I won’t do anything without your consent when it comes to him, but know that my conscience won’t suffer should he die.” His dominance flared again, the strength and heat of it enveloping me and sending a ripple down my spine. “He deserves worse, in my opinion. No one touches you without repercussions.”
I brought a hand up to his cheek, enjoying the scratchy sensation of his rough stubble against my palm. “So possessive,” I teased lightly, locking eyes with him.
“I don’t mean to be,” he replied almost apologetically.
Shaking my head, I cut him off. “You do, and it’s fine. I like that you’re so protective of me…” I took a deep breath. “Just know that I can take care of myself, too. I appreciate that you’ll always have my back, and I love how incredibly dependable I’ve come to realize you are.”
Nick rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “I know I haven’t always been there for you, but the thought of anything happening to you kills me.”
I shifted my head slightly, and Nick’s eyes flipped open. It wasn’t often Nick showed his emotions in such a way, but his fear for me must have overwhelmed him.
“Then don’t let it,” I whispered.
The smell of pine needles filled my head, and I noticed several plastic bins littering the hall as we made our way toward the stairs. One glance into the open bins, and I saw they were filled with Christmas decorations.
A pang of longing filled my chest; in all the madness, I’d completely forgotten that Christmas was coming up. The sudden reminder had me missing my parents even more than usual. To help ease the feeling, I made a silent plan to call them after dinner to talk. Perhaps talking to my mom would help keep my wavering humanity grounded. I knew what was wrong and what was right, but the way I behaved in the pit had rattled me. Letting the wolf out was empowering, and I hadn’t felt that way since before the attack. It was intoxicating, and I found I still craved it.
Nick had once told me that hanging onto my humanity only meant I couldn’t fully embrace this life. That there had to be balance. I was starting to understand that, and while I believed I had accepted the wolf, I just couldn’t surrender my morals to it. That was where I struggled most. What they deemed “okay” went against everything I stood for as a cop, and I couldn’t just let that go. Surely that wasn’t a bad thing. I mean, if I gave up on that part of myself, what made me so different from Karl?
Nick must have picked up on my mood, because he took my hand in his and squeezed it as we descended the stairs. The smell of pine was more concentrated on the main floor, and when I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw the largest Christmas tree I’d ever seen standing in the space between the foyer and the living room. It hadn’t yet been decorated, and I could only assume they’d put it up while I was in the pit with Karl…or unconscious.
The first thing I noticed when we entered the dining room was that there was one less chair on the right side of the table. Karl’s.
“If he is allowed to live, he will be outcast and won’t be able to settle down anywhere.”
It looked like they’d already begun the process of extricating him from their lives. Even though he was still in the house, I felt relief knowing they had chosen me.
Nick and I were the first to sit at the table, and soon everyone else began filtering in. Jackson smiled proudly as his eyes locked with mine, and his hands clamped down on my shoulders in a congratulatory way. My growing friendship with Jackson filled the void left by Bobby’s death to some degree. I was finally at a place where I felt comfortable with him after the night he bit me in Chaparral Park two months ago.
“Good to see you up and about, kid,” Jackson announced, ruffling up my hair before rounding the table to his seat. “And I hear congratulations are in order.”
My cheeks warmed with the flush of embarrassment. “I don’t know that I’d go that far,” I replied quietly as the dining room continued to fill up.
“You faced your demons,” Jackson said. “That’s something to be proud of. Don’t downplay it.”
Beside me, Nick placed his hand on my thigh and squeezed. “He’s right.”
Miranda and Colby finished setting the table and were the last two to sit down. As I watched the women help themselves first, I started to understand the differences between meals at the table and ones out in the wild. Pack etiquette meant the Alpha and his mate ate first like the other night after the hunt, but this was Marcus acknowledging human etiquette. It was nice to be reminded of this after everything I’d been through recently. The wolf wasn’t always so aggressive and feral. Sometimes there was room for humanity. Maybe I wasn’t wrong to contest the wolf’s impulses from time to time.
Over dinner, everyone seemed intrigued by my confrontation with Karl. Everyone, except Roxanne. She actually seemed a little angry about having to be subjected to the news. I wasn’t exactly gloating, because I really didn’t want attention for this sort of brutality, but I answered any questions thrown my way.
“I can’t believe you’re all enjoying this,” Roxanne huffed, shooting an angry glare at me. “Your Pack brother is locked in a cage—drugged—and you’re singing this bitch’s praises.”
“Excuse me?” I demanded, feeling the wolf’s anger starting to swell in my chest. My heartbeat picked up, and my hands squeezed my cutlery.
“You heard me. Everything was fine before you followed Nick home like a lost little puppy,” she spat.
“You are aware of what Karl tried to do to me, right?”
This didn’t faze Roxanne in the least. “Oh, I’m aware. And maybe if you weren’t walking around like a bitch in heat all the time, throwing yourself at Nick and flaunting your sexuality in everyone’s faces, he wouldn’t have seen you as easy.”
“Roxanne,” Miranda scolded. “That’s enough.”
“You’re not serious?” She looked at me, her expression flat. “You are serious.”
Beside me, Nick placed a hand on my back. “Brooke, it’s not worth it.”
“She thinks I asked for this,” I told him through gritted teeth, annunciating each syllable like he maybe didn’t understand the obvious implication behind her words.
“Didn’t you?” Roxanne challenged.
“This from the girl who was lying naked and desperate on Nick’s bed when we arrived at the manor,” I shot back angrily and without thinking it through. The wolf was lashing out now.
“Enough!” Marcus shouted, banging his fists on the tabletop and standing up. The level of his voice forced both of us to look away. Submitting like this was still a little unnerving, and I could feel myself fighting it while the wolf gave in out of habit. “What Karl did was in violation of Pack Law. Roxanne, you know that. He tried to claim another’s mate, regardless of the law and against her warnings. She was within her rights to confront him today, and she had every right to execute him for what he did. But she chose not to, and I think that is a testament to her character and her place amongst this Pack.”
There was a low rumble from across the table, and when I raised my eyes, I saw Roxanne glaring directly at me. It wasn’t just anger about the Karl situation that I saw behind her steely glare, but jealousy. She wanted what I had, and she hated that she had worked so hard for all these months and years while I eased my way into this position effortlessly. It was why she tripped me up during the hunt the other night, and it was why she was challenging me now. I had no doubts that she’d try to assert her dominance over me and prove to Nick that she was a more worthy choice. Little did she know, what Nick and I shared went beyond some primal, animalistic connection. We connected on both a human and supernatural level. We had a history together, and those feelings had begun to reemerge since he’d returned to Arizona, and even more so now that we were here and spending so much time together.
“Now, I get that there’s a lot of unresolved shit between the two of you, but I suggest you straighten it out. This is a family, and we’ll behave as such,” Marcus commanded. “Disputes within the Pack aren’t uncommon, so do whatever you have to do, but don’t ever bring it to this table again.”
That was the end of the discussion, and while I could tell Roxanne still harbored serious resentment toward me, there was nothing the two of us could do about it now. I had no doubt she’d confront me on our own time, and I would be ready for it.
After dinner, I helped Miranda, Colby, and Layla clean up and do dishes while Roxanne stormed up to her room like an indignant teenager. Nick and the guys grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and headed to the main living room, and when we were done, we joined them.
The men sat back and talked hunting strategy so they could try to lock down a location on the nest while Miranda started organizing the Christmas decorations. For the next couple hours, I helped decorate the over-sized tree. Even though I’d only just met them, I found myself feeling truly at home here. I still missed my parents, and I wondered what they were up to tonight. Were they decorating for the holidays, too?
I was reaching up to place an oversized green ornament on a high branch when another thought occurred to me, forcing me to freeze: would they not feel the need since I’d left?
A pair of hands around my waist startled me briefly until I realized it was only Nick. He hoisted me up onto his left shoulder, and I laughed as I placed the ornament closer to the top of the eight-foot tree. His hand rested on my outer thigh to anchor me as he handed me a few more ornaments to even out the top third of the tree.
He turned me in his arms as I slid down his body, his hands running up my sides until I stood on my tiptoes in front of him. “Thanks for the help,” I said, my fingers curling into the fabric of his T-shirt. My earlier hesitations toward intimacy seemed to flit away.
“You looked like you could use the distraction,” he replied, gripping my chin between his thumb and index finger. “You want to go for a walk? Clear your head?”
“Not really,” I said softly. “I was actually thinking about heading upstairs and calling my parents. Is that all right?”
Nick’s smile stretched all the way across his face. “Of course. You know you don’t need to ask.”
The front door slammed, and I caught Roxanne’s scent in the air. I kissed Nick lightly before excusing myself. It was my utmost intention to go to my room, but something urged me to go talk to Roxanne. I may not have been her biggest fan, but after hearing what Marcus said at dinner, I felt the need to try and reconcile our differences, or at least find a way to co-exist in this house. For the sake of the Pack.
It was warmer than the night before as I stepped onto the dark front stoop. In the distance, I saw Roxanne heading for the trees. I could smell the beginning stages of her change as she walked, and I knew I wouldn’t have much time, so I should make it quick.
“Roxanne!” I shouted, jogging across the driveway and toward her.
She froze, her rigid posture radiating her irritation. “What do you want?”
“To talk.” I stopped about two feet away and waited for her to face me.
She did, but the look in her eyes was fiery. It frightened me. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Then listen,” I said, pushing my fear aside out of respect for the Pack. “I get that you’re pissed about how things wound up, but that doesn’t give you the right—”
“It gives me every right!” she yelled, her shrill voice scaring off a few birds from their branches. “You think you can just waltz in here, wagging your tail and entrancing every male in this damn pack?”
“I never—”
“Oh, but you did,” she interrupted, lips curled back and teeth bared. “You had Nick wrapped around your little finger while Karl drooled at your feet. Then you had Karl caged and practically castrated.”
My eyes widened, still unable to believe she was trying to justify what that monster had done. “He tried to rape me, Roxanne. I can’t believe you’re trying to downplay that or suggest that it was somehow my fault.”
Roxanne rolled her eyes. “Jesus, Brooke. He’s a wolf. An animal. Can we really be held accountable for what the wolf does? Besides, how do we know you didn’t consent in some way?”
“Consent?” I demanded. “What part of me trying to run from him or trying to fight him off screamed consensual to you? Because I’m drawing a blank.”
“Whatever, I still think it’s wrong that he’s down there because you weren’t clear on how things worked around here. Yes, once mated, another can’t lay claim to anyone’s”—she looked me up and down and then scoffed—“bitch, but that doesn’t mean that said bitch can just walk around, flaunting her tits and ass to any male willing to take a peek.”
I couldn’t believe I’d willingly gone after her in an effort to try and smooth things over; she was being completely unreasonable. I wanted to walk away, but I found myself rooted to the ground, my limbs not listening as my brain told them to turn around and head back inside.
The wolf had reemerged, and it liked what Roxanne was implying even less. Roxanne must have sensed this shift in my attitude, because she took a step back and her fear trickled toward me. “What’s really the issue here, Roxanne?” I asked, my voice taking on that same unfamiliar tone as before. “Are you jealous that Nick came back for me, or is it that Karl took an interest in me too?”
Silence.
“That’s it, isn’t it? Not only are you sore that Nick�
��s attention shifted away from you, but that no one else is giving you the time of day either.” The wolf laughed, and I laughed. Suddenly we were one; the confusion was absent for a moment, and I felt my vindictiveness rise. She wasn’t taking my feelings into account, and the wolf refused to play by my original rules in light of her ignorance.
Roxanne screamed, a fierce and feral sound, as she rushed toward me. Her body slammed into mine, but the wolf was ready for her. My body softened, curving my back and lowering us to the ground as I brought a leg up between us and pushed her off of me with my foot. She rolled expertly in the snow above my head before hopping to her feet and growling at me. I could smell her change happening, and even my own temperature spiked. My muscles tensed and surged with that same power I’d experienced that afternoon in the pit.
At the exact same moment, we ran for each other and started throwing punches. This was no ordinary chick fight. There was no hair-pulling, scratching, or face-slapping. This was an all-out brawl. Roxanne punched the side of my face that Karl had back-handed earlier, and the pressure was blinding. I was momentarily dazed and disoriented, but when Roxanne tried to use this to her advantage, my other senses came to my rescue.
She reached for me, and I folded my arm over her outstretched limb and held her close to my body while I punched her in the nose. She stumbled back a few steps, but recovered quickly and kicked the back of my knees, knocking me to the ground.
The snow around us was stained with our blood, the air thick with our rage as we worked out our aggression. At some point during our, struggle for dominance, Roxanne got me to the ground and was sitting on my chest with her knees on my shoulders. She had me pinned, but I continued to wriggle and struggle beneath her.
Her body was substantially warmer, heating by the second, and it didn’t take long before I noticed her muscles shifting and heard her bones realigning. She was getting ready to change, and the look in her now-amber eyes told me it was entirely deliberate.
Channeling all of my power into my legs, I pushed her off of me and rolled over, but before I could run at her again, someone grabbed me around my waist and pushed me back. She stared at me, breathing heavily, claws engaged. I felt my own body start to go through the process of changing, wanting nothing more than to end this fight indefinitely. It was what the wolf wanted, and for the first time, I didn’t care; I was tired of playing the victim. I wanted to give into its animal nature, and while it should have frightened me, it didn’t.