Sex With Your Ex

by Dakota Cassidy

  He pushed aside the ominous fear that always accompanied this newly found sense of peace. When he held Melina, he savored every moment, knowing that sooner or later his sins were going to bite him in the ass.

  Pricilla swiped at his back with the palm of her hand. “Well, Cowboy, I can see from the look on your face you haven't. It will happen, Brady,” she warned over her shoulder, as she floated off to wherever she went at night.

  Brady sighed. Itwould happen, he damn well knew it, and he deserved it. But when?

  He flopped down on the couch as a sinking feeling gripped his intestines. He thought back to the night he'd confessed to Melina that he'd slept with someone else. Shame wracked his soul as he remembered the shock she'd shown and then the realization as she put all of the pieces to the puzzle together. He'd rambled on about how it was only one time, and how he couldn't live with himself if he didn't tell her. But by relieving his guilt, he'd laid a heavy burden on her shoulders.

  For Brady, the moment the interlude was over he'd wanted to get away as fast as he could. Gathering his clothes with lightening speed, he'd muttered a quick apology and hauled ass out of there. He'd never called her again, and she'd never called him. It was the single biggest regret of his life, losing his way and thinking that he might find some much-needed attention in the arms of someone else, if he couldn't have Melina anymore.

  He ran shaky hands through his hair, as he remembered Melina sitting on the couch, listening to him pour out his lame tale. She'd trembled violently when he tried to gather her in his arms and hold her and struggled to get away from him, grabbing fistfuls of his flesh in her hands and shoving at him. After scooting to the farthest corner of the sofa, she'd demanded in a cool tone that he get his things and get out. Brady knew from the far-off look in her eyes that she wasn't ready to hear what he had to say, so he had gotten some things together and when he came back downstairs, she was gone.

  Brady stretched his long frame out on the couch and crossed his arms behind his head. It had been a long year of booze and denial, filled with remorse and self pity. A long year of silence until Pricilla had come to wreak havoc in his life. But she had been the wake-up call he needed. There was no one else Brady could confide in, since his parents were gone and he had no siblings. His mother would have booted him in the ass if she'd known. His parents had been the perfect example of what ‘til death do you part’ really meant. Who would have thought Pricilla would become his biggest ally?

  He hoped Pricilla was right when she told him his parents were somewhere out there rooting for him too. As he drifted off to sleep, he prayed for the first time in his life. He prayed that he could save his marriage.

  Chapter 8

  A warm spell provoked Brady to invite Melina for a picnic one Saturday. For the middle of April it was unusual, but more than welcome. They spent the day at the park, eating sandwiches and lying on a blanket in the sun, and then opted to have a drink at a local spot as the skies grew dark. Sitting in a dimly lit corner sipping their drinks and talking about nothing, their fingers intertwined across the table.

  “Brady!” His name being called from across the bar made Melina turn. A sleek blonde with her hair tightly pulled back from her face, and a pointy nose, crossed the room to stand beside Brady. As he stood, she kissed him full on the lips, leaving a smear of red lipstick garishly slashed on his surprised mouth. He wiped at his mouth with his fingers. Her full breasts rubbed against his arm, as she clung to him. Melina felt heat rush to her face and nausea rise in her throat. The blonde eyed Melina with open curiosity. She squeezed Brady's arm and in a husky tone asked, “So is this yourwife Brady?” Brady glared at her.

  “Rachel, this is Melina, and yes she'smy wife . Melina, this is Rachel,” Brady said in clipped tones, as he disengaged himself from her clinging embrace. He moved to stand behind Melina's chair, placing his hands on her shoulders, gripping them tightly.

  Melina's eyes narrowed as her suspicions rose.

  “Well, aren't you pretty? Our Brady has good taste doesn't he?” Rachel winked at Brady.

  Our Brady?

  “I just thought I'd stop over and say hello, honey. Gotta run,” she said in a breathy rush, waggling her fingers at them in a dismissive wave. Melina watched as Rachel's round, pert ass disappeared into the crowd.

  Melina twisted and looked at Brady, who had turned a whiter shade of pale. Instinctively she knew exactlywho Rachel was. Gripping the edge of the table, she gagged as bile rose in her throat. She felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her, that someone had cut off the flow of oxygen.

  With Brady standing behind her, it was hard to push the chair from the table as she tried to get up, but she looked desperately for the exit, then fought her way on shaky legs to the door. She burst outside into the fading sunlight as Brady's anguished calls rang in her ears.

  * * * *

  Celia sat beside Melina on the couch, hovering worriedly. “Melina, honey, tell me what happened,” Celia said in a soothing tone. Celia had gone to get her at the gas station where Melina had fled, but she hadn't spoken a word since Celia picked her up, and she was beginning to worry.

  “Melina!” She said it more sharply than she intended. Melina's head shot up and she stared at Celia as if she were seeing her for the first time. “Tell me what happened,” Celia demanded.

  Melina shrugged her shoulders with indifference. “I sawher. ”

  Her? Oh hell, notthe her. Oh God, Celia thought; please don't let it have beenher .

  She put an arm around Melina's shoulder, gripping her tightly. “How do you know it was her, sweetie?” Celia questioned, thinking it was the dumbest thing she'd ever asked.How did anyone know? You just did. Celia's heart sank in her chest. She'd thought all of this putting-off-the-obvious was going to come full circle. And she'd been right.

  “She came to our table, Celia. She introduced herself to me.”

  Bitch, bitch, bitch!Celia silently damned her to hell and back. Oh, would she love to wrap her hands around that tramp's neck and squeeze till she turned purple.

  Celia heard the scream of Brady's tires as he tore into the driveway, sending warning chills up her spine. Celia started for the door to prevent him from making an entrance but Melina jumped up and headed her off.

  “Its okay, I'll handle this,” Melina told her.

  Celia tried to read the intent in Melina's blank eyes. “Are you sure honey? I can tell him to go away, maybe seeing him just now isn't such a good idea.”

  “No.” Melina cut her off. Eerily calm, she said firmly, “It's okay, I'll be fine.”

  Brady began to pound loudly at the door.

  * * * *

  Melina opened it and stepped outside, scooting past him and running down the front steps.

  “You have to go home, Brady. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want you anywhere near me ever again.”

  Frustration and fear made him finally say the words, before she did. It was all he had left in the way of pride, all he had to give her in the way of closure.He needed closure, so he could go somewhere and lick his wounds, and just let it be over.

  “Why don't you just say it, Melina? Say the words, tell me youreally want a divorce, so that we can trudge our way through all the shit that comes after. I've tried everything and anything to get you to let me come home. I think just now, you've made yourself pretty clear that you don't want me anymore. So say it! At least have the courage to say it to my face, not through some pansy lawyer.” In frustration he turned away from her and stomped back to his truck.

  Courage? Courage?The word tore through Melina's muddled brain. Maybe Brady was right, she had been a coward this past year, and the very thought enraged her. Enraged her so that all rational thoughts flew from her mind, and an anger so alive that it took on a life of its own raged through her veins like a forest fire.

  Thunder roared as huge drops of rain battered Melina's face, and soaked her thin cotton dress, plastering it to her shaking body. She lunged for his back wi
th a howl, throwing her arms around his neck. Brady's feet slipped out from under him, and they slammed to the ground with a hard crack. They rolled and landed with a thud against the big maple tree.

  Brady heard her sharp intake of breath upon landing. Pulling away from her, he reached to her, thinking to comfort her and ensure she was all right.

  Melina quickly used him for leverage as she scrambled to pull herself up. Straddling his broad chest, now heaving from their fall, her strength was spurred by the jolts of adrenalin coursing through her veins. Small hands seized the collar of his shirt, jerking him upward to look her in the eye. Her hair clung to her face from the rain and wind as the storm brewing began to explode around them. A sharp flash of lightning illuminated his still figure beneath her.

  “You did this!” Melina screamed as the wind roared her condemnation in his ears. She watched him wince with the accusation, a mixture of tears and the pelting rain fell on his face, but he didn't blink.

  “You did this!” She screamed the accusation again just because it felt so damn good. “It was you, Brady. I may have lost track of us, but it was you who slept with someone else!” Oh, God, the wave of liberation that washed over her as she spoke the words for the first time.

  “You lied and you cheated on me, but you didn't just cheat onme , Brady, you cheated onus , and any hope we had of a family. I wanted to die when you told me. I remember thinking that if some quirk of fate or divine intervention took me right then, I would welcome it. Damn you for making me love you that much!” she shouted. “So much that I wished I was dead. I wanted to curl up in a hole and never come out. That I would be willing to leave this earth to escape this unbearable agony you caused me makes me sick to my stomach.”

  Spit formed in the corners of mouth, her body shook with such uncontrollable rage.

  Brady lay still beneath her, every muscle in his body bunched into painful knots, allowing her to vent her anguish and sorrow. The wind picked up speed, as fallen leaves shimmied across the hard cold ground, rasping across the pavement.

  Her voice was raw and hoarse with emotion, replacing the eerie calm that had been her armor for so long, her only defense against his betrayal.

  “Do you know what you did to me?” she roared. “All those nights I waited up for you, and paced until my legs shook, afraid you were dead somewhere, never being able to reach you. Only for you to come home and tell me you were at some business meeting.”

  She remembered well the fear that had clutched her heart when he hadn't called. The endless nights when she waited for him, praying for an answer that never came. The infernal silences, broken only by the ticking of the clock. The clock that taunted her with its painfully slow hands.

  She rode this unceasing fury like a wild stallion, hard and fast, adding fuel to her anger with every crack of the whip. Holding fast to his shirt, her eyes pierced his soul.

  “Idiot that I am, I believed you, because I wanted to believe you, Brady, and because I was too stupid to know any better. I never thought in a thousand years you would cheat on me, that it wasn't me who should worry about behaving like my mother, it wasyou .” She spat the final word at him.

  Her derisive snort was outwardly venomous. “You were cold and unreachable, you wouldn't talk to me, even when I begged you to, and you ignored me as though I didn't exist. Day after long torturous day you avoided me. I wanted to help you, so I let you be. I thought in time you would work it all out, so I tried not to pressure you. In the meantime I held it all together for you so you could come home after being with that slut!”

  Her laugh became maniacal; as she churned out all the heartache and disappointment she had spent so long hiding from.

  “You really had me convinced you were depressed, or having some kind of mid-life crisis. I researched it on the internet you know, depression. You had all the classic symptoms, and God knows I had plenty of time to do it. All while you wined and dined some cheap whore who made you feel like such a man, you didn't drag your ass home until the wee hours of the morning! Do you know how many times I lied to friends and neighbors about your late hours? Bastard!” she screamed. “I lied to protect you, so that you could remain their hero and they wouldn't know about your selfish bullshit.” She reeled with the remembered misery and fear of the unknown.

  “Do you have even the smallest inkling of what it's like to hear the words ‘I slept with someone else?’ Do you know how meaningless that makes seven years of your life seem? I'll bet you were pretty proud of yourself for having the balls to confess to me. You didn't have to, you know. I might never have guessed if you hadn't told me.

  “Do you know how inadequate and boring I felt when I had time to put the pieces together in my head? I felt like I could never be enough for you, Brady, like there would always be some new thrill waiting for you around the next corner.”

  “Did you laugh about that with her over an expensive dinner somewhere, while I was at home pacing a hole in the floor? About how stupid and boring your little wife was, not to have caught on sooner? I'll bet it was a real giggle for you both.” Visibly, she shuddered at the idea that they had laughed together at her expense. Her grip tightened on his collar, her knuckles white from the effort, but she wouldn't let go until she had spent every last bit of agony he had caused.

  Flinging her head back, tears of sweet release spilled out of eyes she could feel were red and swollen. Her heart throbbed painfully in her chest but she couldn't stop now. Tightly woven threads of sanity began to unravel, and tear away at her composure. Bolts of thunder cracked, sharp and splintering, echoing all around them. Tree limbs broke and fell, shattering like shards of skittering glass. Her litany continued, vicious and untamed, pouring from her aching, wounded heart.

  “Did it ever occur to you the kind of woman she was, that she would sleep with a married man? Is she someone you would want take home to your mother, Brady? Youknow what kind of woman she was?” Melina gasped for breath, but didn't miss a beat waiting for an answer. She plowed forward, trampling every moment of silence she'd secretly vowed she wouldn't break.

  “She was mymother . How does it feel to know you fucked your mother-in-law? The kind of woman that has so little self esteem she finds a man with a wife and a home ... a marriage. Was she someone you thought you might be able to spend the rest of your life with? How dare you sleep with that woman, then come home to me and share my bed, you asshole!”

  “I hate what this has done to me. I'm suspicious and afraid, fearful of trusting anyone, even myself and my own judgment. Look at what I've become, Brady, and I let it happen to me because my whole world revolved around you and our damn life together. When I threw you out, I had nothing but time on my hands. I'd created a world I thought was safe from lies, and betrayal, and cheap thrills.

  “I tried to fill it with respect and honor, and in one fell swoop you trashed everything. You're no different than my mother.” She sneered at him. “You hated everything about her, when you had no right to condemn her for her sins. At the very least, she wasn't ever married when she was unfaithful to all of those boyfriends.”

  She let go of his collar with a hard shove, snapping his head back with a thud. Bracing her palms on his sodden, torn shirt, her arms shook from holding her quivering weight. Their faces were inches apart. Brady ached to hold her. He tightened his hands into fists and pushed them into the rain soaked soil at his sides, to keep from touching her.

  Melina felt the ache of bitter defeat set in, and with fatigue she said, “I want someone ... No,” she caught herself, her voice broken and crushed. “Ideserve someone who just wants me. Who, no matter what, I'll always be enough for. Fat, skinny, old and wrinkled, I have to be enough, even in the cold light of day. I'm not a thrill seeker, and maybe that's because my mother was, but I'm also not a risk taker and you're too big a risk for me now, Brady. You broke my heart, while you went out late at night, while you ignored me, while I fell apart.” Her tone belied the disgust and contempt she had begun to feel for herself,
but it was tinged with the sadness of seven years lost.

  “I can't ever let you back in my life, Brady. I don't trust you anymore. How do I know somewhere down the road you won't get bored again, or need something from me that you're just not man enough to ask for? How do I know you're not seeing Rachel right now?

  “You weren't even man enough to pack a bag and leave when you found out you weren't getting what you needed from me. Instead you brought filth and dishonor to our relationship, to a sacred vow between us. All so that poor Brady could get a little attention and a good lay. And it was good, Brady, wasn't it? Don't deny it, because you'd be a liar if you did. It couldn't make me any sicker than the very sight of you does.”

  “I hate what this has done to me; I've lost every last innocent misguided belief I had in you. I'm disillusioned with life, with relationships, but most of all with you, and our marriage. What once was a miracle to me now is nothing more than a tarnished dream. You chose someone else over me to fulfill your needs, and you touched that person in ways you only should have been touching...” She choked on her words, her throat began to tighten. “Touchingme , Brady,” she sobbed. “Imagine those images in your head. Imagine living with that, day in day out. I can't ever believe I'm all you'll ever want when you wanted someone else.” She pushed off of him, and shook her head.

  “I don't think I can anymore. When you really love someone, you don't abandon them, Brady, you don't run off with the first person who shows a little interest in you. You fight until it's over, until the bitter end, and then you leave at least knowing you did your best.”

  Her broken sobs ripped at his soul, tearing at the lining of his heart.

  “I can't live with the worry, always wondering when the next time will happen. When Brady gets needy, Melina suffers, because he doesn't have the balls to tell his wife he has needs. Because you're too much of a dimwit to open your mouth and form a complete sentence.” She leaned back, weary with defeat as she took him in with disdain.