Magical Midlife Dating: A Paranormal Women's Fiction Novel (Leveling Up Book 2)

by K. F. Breene

  “What kind of work?” I asked.

  He reached up to rub the back of his neck, his bicep flaring and torso hardening. Sasquatch jerked, leaned back, and scowled before shooting me an accusing look, clearly not liking the muscle show and blaming me for it.

  “You chose to sit here. This isn’t my fault,” I said, chuckling.

  “It’s nice to look at, but aye, it is a bit strange, all right,” Niamh mumbled.

  “Just trying to get even,” Austin said, his smile wide, showing his straight, even teeth, boosting his handsomeness tenfold. My stomach fluttered and I pulled my gaze away. “Just trying to prove that I’m not the only one who looks.”

  My face heated as I remembered his reaction to seeing me naked in that cave. Remembered the hard heat pressed against me.

  I shivered even as heat pooled in my pounding core. “Little do you know, you’re just making a fool of yourself,” I said, and took a sip of my wine.

  “That right?” He turned to help someone down the way, his muscular butt flexing.

  Sasquatch flinched again and yanked his head the other way, catching me looking. He rolled his eyes and directed his gaze straight ahead. “You’re the cause of it.”

  “You are as sharp as a tack, boy. Nothing gets past you, does it?” Niamh said to him.

  “Austin means to replace the local Dick government with magical people, bring in magical people to buy out the shops and wineries,” Niamh said, “and work a lot more closely with the local police. As the alpha, he needs to run the town, and to do that, he needs more magical blood in it.”

  “He can do all that?” I asked, awestruck. “The government and wineries and everything?”

  “Ah.” She tapped the bar with her finger. “That’s the question, isn’t it? We shall see.”

  “Yeah, he can.” Sasquatch lifted his bottle in a salute. “Won’t be a problem for the likes of him. You just wait. We’ll be the most prosperous territory in the southwest. Maybe all of the west. Maybe—”

  “Whoa, whoa, there, lad, yer startin’ to sound absurd.” Niamh leaned around me to shoot Sasquatch a look. “Go back to being friendless and mindin’ yer own business. It makes the atmosphere nicer for everyone.”

  “What brought on the change, though, alpha?” Sasquatch asked as Austin worked his way back, more interested in hanging out with us than working.

  Austin’s gaze delved into mine. “Someone showed me what it’s like to reach for the stars. She showed me that a new adventure is right around the corner—all you have to do is have the courage to answer its call. We can’t be afraid of change, not when there are so many rewards from embracing it.”

  “Sounds like something you might read in one of them coffee table books or somethin’,” Niamh said. “The ones you get on sale because no one wants ’em.”

  I smiled at Austin, warmth radiating through my chest. “Grab life by the balls.”

  “Hear, hear.” Sasquatch lifted his beer again.

  “Christ,” Niamh said, clearly responding to Sasquatch. “So what’s the story, then, Jessie?” Niamh pushed her finished drink forward, and Austin went to grab her another one. “Should I pick out another date for ye or what?”

  “No. God no.” I rolled my eyes as Austin deposited her drink. “I need a break from all that. I don’t mind meeting new people and learning about them, but I’m not so much into the forced small talk and having the same date over and over—”

  “What do you mean, having the same date over and over?” Austin asked, pointing at someone who’d just raised their hand to get a drink.

  “Bud,” I heard.

  “I got it,” Paul told Austin.

  I tossed up my hands. “It’s always the same kind of date. Get picked up, check each other out, have dinner, get weird about the check, and maybe go for drinks. Or in my situation, bomb out and say goodbye and then have drinks with your buddy. Repeat. I could probably plan something more interesting, but then there’s that stigma about a girl being too pushy or bossy, so I just take their suggestions and… Boring. I suppose it’s my fault, but it’s still boring. I need a break. Maybe I’ll find someone naturally. Like someone who comes here.”

  Sasquatch huffed, and I was pretty sure I heard, “Fat chance.”

  “I could do better.” Austin flung a bar towel over his shoulder.

  “That right?” I took a sip.

  “Yes. I could take you on the perfect date.”

  “There is no perfect date.”

  “Each person has a perfect date. I bet I could figure out yours.”

  “Be careful about accepting a wager on this one, Jessie,” Niamh said. “He’s had more than a little experience with the ladies.”

  The sparkle in Austin’s eyes dulled as he turned away to get a drink.

  “Damarion had a lot of experience with the ladies, and his idea of romance was a live dick pic, so…” I brushed my hair away from my face, grinning. I’d told Niamh that story, and she’d laughed for ten minutes solid before making me tell it again. She couldn’t believe even a guy as tone-deaf as Damarion had thought that display would work. Mr. Tom had been incredibly insulted.

  “A hundred quid says you flunk out, Austin Steele,” Niamh said, digging in her pocket.

  “That’s alpha now,” Sasquatch corrected.

  “Why doncha bugger off, ye maggot. Yer as annoyin’—”

  “I thought you said not to bet?” I asked, exasperated.

  “I did. But then ye got me thinkin’. You don’t settle for second best, now do ya? An’ I don’t think he pays attention to women half so well as he thinks he does. A hundred quid.”

  “I don’t think you guys saw how awkward it was to work with Damarion after it didn’t work with Damarion,” I replied. “Austin and I are magically stuck together at this point—dating would be awkward at best, and it would make things miserable at worst. No way. I can’t jeopardize our working relationship for a muscle show. I need his help—things cannot get awkward.”

  “I didn’t mean a date-date. I meant a friend date,” Austin said, his eyes sparkling again, a challenge burning within them. He shrugged. “It’ll be harmless fun. But it will still be perfect. I’ll take that bet.”

  “Okay, but…no. No bet. It’s not going to happen. I’ll turn even a friend date into a disaster.”

  “A perfect date doesn’t end in disaster.” Austin’s pecs popped again, catching my eye. I ripped my gaze away and scowled at his smiling face. “Come on. Go out with me, Jess. I’ll buy you something nice with the winnings.”

  Those teasing blue eyes caught my attention and held it. Fire sparked to life in my core and burned white-hot in a way it wouldn't for a friend. I didn’t mean to accept, and I certainly didn’t mean to do it in such a sultry whisper. “Okay.”

  The same fire I felt deep within me flared to life in his hungry eyes.

  Before I could come to my senses and back out of the whole thing, the bar quieted down around us. Warning flared within me—a predator had entered our midst.

  “Jaysus, Mary, and Joseph,” Niamh said in a release of breath.

  The basajaun stood just inside the door, having had to stoop and practically crawl to get in, I wagered. Thankfully, the bar had really high ceilings.

  A weathered red baseball hat sat crookedly atop his head, much too small. Two braids traveled from his chin to his chest, containing his beard. A little jean vest clung to his shoulders, the edges frayed, and a flannel sweatshirt was tied around his waist.

  “Is this lad trying to fit in, or somethin’?” Niamh asked, the only one speaking.

  Cedric stood just to the side of the basajaun, his hands loose and his wings fluttering. My bodyguard this evening, he clearly wasn’t letting his fear of the large and slightly unhinged creature get the better of him. I assumed the two gargoyles who’d been guarding the outside of the bar had taken up positions near the door in case something happened.

  “Alpha,” the basajaun said. “I ask leave to travel the hi
dden areas of your territory. In return, I will grant you the same courtesy within mine. A trade. Do you accept?”

  Austin straightened up, his body tight again, although this time it was not a display. “A trade. I agree.”

  The basajaun bent to a knee and bowed his head. Austin bent his head in return.

  “Hi, Jessie,” the basajaun said in a loud whisper as he straightened up, offering me a little side wave. “It is me, the basajaun from the mountain. Remember me?”

  My eyes had definitely rounded, I could feel it. I barely got in a nod. Dumb as rocks, absolutely.

  “With the alpha’s leave, I am here to reap the rewards of our trade. The broken ankle, remember?”

  I nodded again, thankful he seemed to think Ivy House flowers on the property different than me bringing him the same flowers. I was starting to suspect Mr. Tom was dead right about his intellect, and that was okay by me.

  “Ivy House lands are not part of my territory,” Austin said, his voice hard. This was probably his professional face among very dangerous creatures. I was glad for it. I didn’t want to accidentally break some obscure basajaun rule and get my head spiked.

  “Oh. Well, if it is all the same with you, I would like to keep the trade. Just in case I’d like to wander, you know.”

  Austin nodded. “Don’t get seen, if you can help it.”

  “Yes, of course.” The basajaun pulled out a bit of his sweatshirt, as though it was the key to staying undercover. He and Mr. Tom clearly went to the same spy school. To me he said, “We should meet up to spook a couple of hikers. Remember when we talked about that? You can shove them with a little magic, and I can allow them to see me for a moment.” He waved it away. “You are busy and I am late for my flowers. We will speak on it another time.”

  The entire bar was dead silent in the basajaun’s wake. Mouths hung open, eyes remained wide, and someone had fainted.

  “How’d he know my name?” I asked into the hush. “And who did he steal those clothes from?”

  “See there?” Niamh looked over at Sasquatch. “He’s supposed to be hairy, and since he lives in the wild, he’s allowed to stink. Yer just takin’ the piss, you are. Ye got the hair and the stench without the benefits. Now don’t ye feel dumb? Maybe ye should wash once in a while.”

  “How does anyone stand you?” he grumbled.

  “They don’t. Which is why they don’t sit next to me. Ye certainly got brains to match his, I’ll give ye that.” Niamh took a sip of her cider. “Wanker.”

  “How the hell are we going to hide his presence around town?” Austin muttered as he walked by.

  I smiled and shook my head. God, my life was weird, but the people around me cared about my success and kept things interesting. Good or bad, dangerous or safe, weird or normal, I was choosing my own way, and it was about time.

  Later that night, after I pretended I was going to the bathroom and instead ran out the back door of the bar so Niamh wouldn’t order me another drink, I made it home to Edgar screaming.

  The gargoyles filed in around me immediately, not letting me into the house.

  “It’s fine, it’s just Mr. Tom, Ulric, and Edgar in there,” I said, pushing through.

  Those three stood at the back of the house near the kitchen, Mr. Tom shushing Edgar while Ulric looked on with concern.

  “What is it?” I asked, running to them. “What happened?”

  “We’ve been robbed!” Edgar screeched. “They’re gone. They’re all gone!”

  “What’s gone?” I considered bracing my hand on his bony shoulder, then thought better of it. I swayed into Ulric. “Oops. Sorry, don’t mind me. The basajaun came into the bar, and he spoke to me like we were old buddies, and then everyone was awestruck and bought me drinks—it was cah-razy. Anyway, sorry, Edgar, this is your show. Why are you crying? I didn’t even know vampires could cry.”

  “Why wouldn’t they be able to?” Ulric asked with a grin, his hand on my shoulder, stabilizing me.

  “Shh, I’m good.” I removed his hand and drifted into Jasper, who’d just shown up on the scene. He still lived at the house, and I still meant to get to know him, but he was so quiet that I constantly forgot about him. If Mr. Tom was white noise, Jasper was a potted plant that had just shown up one day, never seemed to need water, and seemed content to be part of the scenery. He was the gargoyle equivalent of a succulent. “I don’t know, because water doesn’t flow out of their eyes or something? They don’t have emotion, maybe?”

  “He’s got plenty of emotion,” Ulric whispered, back to focusing on a sobbing Edgar.

  “He’s downright hysterical. What is the meaning of this, Edgar?” Mr. Tom demanded.

  “We’ve been robbed, I tell you.” Edgar grabbed Mr. Tom by the lapels and started to drag him toward the back door to go outside to check out the cause of his hysteria.

  “Unhand me, vampire! This is a freshly pressed suit.” Mr. Tom struggled out of his grasp.

  Outside, following a wailing vampire, we finally caught sight of what had been stolen.

  The whole back garden, from one end of the house to the other, had been picked clean of Edgar’s award-winning flowers. Petals littered the ground, like the blood of the lost. The perfume of their crushed bodies, having met their end within the basajaun’s teeth, still lingered in the air.

  It belatedly occurred to me that I should’ve given Edgar a heads-up as to what was coming. Thankfully, he hadn’t been outside and tried to stop the creature.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sakes, they’re just flowers.” Mr. Tom scoffed.

  Edgar brought himself up to his full height, his fangs gleaming in the moonlight. “How dare you!”

  “Sorry, buddy,” I said, this time breaking down and patting Edgar’s shoulder. I regretted it almost immediately. He felt like a bunch of sticks tied together with twine and overlaid with a rubbery mat. I definitely should’ve made an exception for Edgar when I made the call on the age thing. “Let’s go look at your doilies and I’ll explain everything. I’ll help you fix it, okay? I’ll put a couple of doilies in the house, even.”

  “No, you most certainly will not.” Mr. Tom stomped after us. “Don’t give in to this display, miss, it’ll just encourage him.”

  “This is my life now,” I heard Ulric say as he followed us. “I hope my mom never visits, because I have no idea how I’d explain this part.”

  I had to agree with that. I sincerely hoped my parents didn’t get a wild hair to visit, either. That would be some mess.

  It wasn’t until the small hours of the morning that I made it to my bedroom. Mr. Tom followed me up shortly thereafter with a steaming cup of tea.

  “There now, miss.” He set the tea tray down, a black envelope resting on the outside lip. “That was nice of you to console Edgar, but really, you shouldn’t trouble yourself too much. That vampire has long since gone Froot Loops. It’s best not to get too involved in his lunacy.”

  He was one to talk.

  I leaned back tiredly, the buzz from earlier having worn away. “I should’ve warned him that I’d traded away his favorite hobby. Poor guy will have to start over. What’s that?” I pointed at the envelope.

  “Oh. This came for you an hour ago.” Mr. Tom handed it over before preparing some cheese slices on a plate.

  An interesting sort of red seal stuck the flap down, though I couldn’t quite make out the design. A cream card waited on the inside, and in a lovely delicate hand was written:

  My dearest Jacinta,

  Congratulations on acquiring your wings. What a triumph! I look forward to seeing for myself.

  Sadly, it seems I have underestimated your polar bear alpha, or I might’ve already had the pleasure. How shortsighted of me. I must say, I am half delighted someone has been able to surprise me. It has been so long since that has been the case.

  I assure you, however…it will not happen again.

  Until we meet, I shall think of you fondly.

  — Elliot Graves

 
I stared at it for a long moment before handing it to Mr. Tom and sending him away so I could change for bed. So Elliot Graves, Mr. Magical Mob Boss, was the one who had posted the contract. This didn’t necessarily mean he was the man in black who’d waited for me outside of Ivy House a couple of months ago, but it certainly suggested it.

  Life was about to get even more interesting.

  . ~ . ~ . ~ .

  Interested to see what happens when Jessie’s parents come to visit? Preorder book three, Magical Midlife Invasion now!

  Magical Midlife Invasion Preorder

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  Also by K.F. Breene

  Leveling Up

  Magical Midlife Madness

  Magical Midlife Dating

  Magical Midlife Invasion (Coming Soon)

  Demigods of San Francisco

  Sin & Chocolate

  Sin & Magic

  Sin & Salvation

  Sin & Spirit

  Sin & Lightning

  Sin & Surrender

  Demon Days, Vampire Nights World

  Born in Fire

  Raised in Fire

  Fused in Fire

  Natural Witch

  Natural Mage

  Natural Dual-Mage

  Warrior Fae Trapped

  Warrior Fae Princess

  Warrior Chronicles

  Chosen

  Hunted

  Shadow Lands

  Invasion

  Siege

  Overtaken

  Darkness Series

  Into the Darkness

  Braving the Elements

  On a Razor’s Edge

  Demons

  The Council

  Shadow Watcher

  Jonas

  Charles

  Jameson

  Stand Alone

  Secret of McKinley’s Mansion