Life in the No-Dating Zone

by Patricia B Tighe

  “Figured it out, huh?” Berger asked.

  I let out another moan.

  “What’s wrong now?”

  “She likes playing with LEGOs.”

  “What? You have to marry her.”

  I fell forward again. “Shut up.”

  He laughed. “Sorry, man, but you are so hosed.”

  From my perch on my knees, I gave him a dirty look. “You don’t sound sorry.”

  “Give me a break. It’s really funny.”

  “It’s not funny, Berger. Claire’s never going to believe that after a year of wanting to be with Lindsey, I suddenly like her. She’s too practical. Or worse, she’ll think I’ve been lying, just pretending to like Lindsey to get close to her. She’ll hate that.” I straightened. “You’ve got to tell me what to do. I have no clue.”

  He smiled. “Lighten up. It’s easy. You just have to make her believe you.”

  Thirty-Three

  Gray

  I locked my bike to the rack outside the coffee shop the next morning, repeating my mantra. Talk to her. Just talk to her. Maybe if I said it enough, I’d believe it’d work. At this point, talking to Claire was my only real option. I had to tell her how I felt. I mean, it’s what she would tell me to do, right? Talk to her.

  Of course, another option was just to give it time. To let Claire know I wasn’t interested in Lindsey anymore, and then just hang out with them at school. I hesitated before opening the shop door. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. We’d be able to get to know each other even better before I asked her out.

  If it weren’t for stupid Berger. He flat out threatened to ask Claire out if I didn’t. I knew he was just trying to get me to act and I should ignore him, but I couldn’t. He didn’t like Claire like I did. But I could tell he was a little interested. And even if he wasn’t into her, he’d do it just to piss me off.

  Talk to her. I had it all planned out. I’d get coffee so I didn’t show up at her house too early. Cycle over to waste more time, and then return her water bottle as the reason I’d stopped by. Then we could hang out, play with Jack, whatever. Then I’d tell her I was over Lindsey. See how Claire reacted. That was key to whatever happened next, which included fantasies of her expressing her undying love for me, then us getting into a mad make-out session on the couch in the sunroom.

  Of course the presence of Claire’s mom and Jack were problematic.

  The coffee shop door swung open, banging into my knee. I grunted and hopped backward.

  “I’m so sor— Oh, Gray. Hi.”

  I looked up from rubbing my knee. Claire. Uh-oh. This wasn’t in the plan. It was too soon. “Hey,” I said, my voice cracking like I was twelve years old. Ugh.

  She grinned briefly, juggling a drink holder with two cups and a full paper sack that looked like it was about to take a dive. Strands of hair had fallen from her messy ponytail and a pink flush spread across her cheeks.

  “Hey,” I repeated stupidly. “You want some help?”

  “Sure, thanks. I’m in a hurry actually.”

  I took the drink holder from her, wedging it against my stomach, and followed her to the parking lot. My plan was dissolving by the second. “What’s going on?”

  “My mom is freaking out,” she said over her shoulder.

  I caught up. “About what?”

  “She got a call this morning that they need her to teach fifth grade for the next two weeks. The regular teacher has to have surgery all of a sudden. None of us thought Mom would have any substituting jobs for at least a few more weeks. Or if she did, they’d be one day, that kind of thing.” She chirped her car keys at a blue sedan. “And Jack’s daycare hasn’t been completely figured out yet.”

  “Oops.”

  “Yeah, oops.” She opened the passenger door and tossed her purse on the floor, then took the drink holder from me and placed it on the seat. “So now she has to prepare for two weeks with twenty-five kids every day, plus call the daycare places and see where we are on the waiting lists.”

  “Seems like she would’ve needed you helping with Jack, not out getting coffee.” Wait. Did that sound judgmental?

  But Claire just laughed. “She insisted she needed a cappuccino to survive.”

  “And the bag?”

  “I need scones to survive.”

  “Who wouldn’t?”

  She brushed hair out of her face and grinned. “A guy who likes scones? I should alert the media.”

  “Hey, it’s food. In general, I’ll eat anything. Especially if there’s a freak-out happening.”

  “Thanks for reminding me. There was a long line to get the survival supplies and I’m already late.”

  I followed her around to the driver’s side. Before she got in, she faced me with her hand resting on the top of the car door, keys dangling from her thumb. I smiled when I saw the Harry Potter LEGO figure swinging back and forth. Why had I never noticed that before?

  The pink in her cheeks seemed to get brighter. “What’re you smiling at?”

  “You.”

  “Oh. Why?”

  I had a lot of reasons, but none I could tell her until we had a chance to talk. “Felt like it. You’d better go.”

  “Yikes. You’re right.” She slid into the car.

  My plan was ruined, but I had to salvage something from running into her. “Can we talk later?”

  “Uh, sure. Call me after two. Jack should be napping and hopefully my mom won’t need me to hold her hand.” A weird little smile crossed her face. “We need to figure out what’s next on the Lindsey agenda, don’t we?”

  Not really. “Sounds good.”

  I waved as she drove off. Dang. I’d forgotten to give her the water bottle. Never mind. It was probably good to hold on to another excuse to see her.

  ***

  After cycling the trails, I picked up my little brothers from Mrs. Nealey’s and took them to the Y to shoot hoops. I wasn’t really into basketball, but I needed to keep moving. Sitting around at home would give me too much time to talk myself out of calling Claire.

  We went to the small gym where the baskets had been lowered for little kids. It only took about twenty minutes of dribbling around and shooting before my brothers got into a fight. Once that was settled, Travis jumped up and down in front of my face.

  “Grayson, we want to go to that game room place,” he said.

  “I need to beat Travis’s butt at foosball,” Marcus said, dissolving into giggles—probably because of the word “butt.”

  Travis shoved Marcus. I held them apart. “Okay, just put the basketballs on the rack first.”

  I managed to get them out of the gym without any blood. They took off down the hall doing the super fast walk where they stiffen their arms and legs and try to pretend they’re not running.

  Outside the game room, which was right next to the Y’s front door, we ran into Sam. He strolled over, hair wet and gym bag in hand. “Hey,” he said with a lift of his head.

  “Hey. What’s up?”

  “Just finished swimming. I’m meeting Rose here and we’re going to the taco place next door. You want to come?”

  “And ruin a perfectly good time with your girlfriend? No, thanks. After the way she was bossing Lindsey’s brother around the other night, I’m not sure I want to get on her bad side.”

  Sam readjusted his gym bag strap on his shoulder. “A friend about to hurl can be pretty intense.”

  “Glad I didn’t have to deal with it.”

  “Seriously.”

  I turned to introduce my brothers to him, but they’d already gone into the game room. “Those were my brothers.”

  “I figured.”

  “Want to waste some time with us?”

  “Sure,” he said.

  I pushed open the glass door to the game room, which was really just a place for people to hang out. A TV high on the wall played some Disney sitcom schlock. Kids stood in line at a concessions counter. The pool table and air hockey table were busy, but thankfully Marc
us and Travis had full control of the foosball table. Otherwise they’d be begging me for money to get a drink.

  I chose a table a little away from my brothers—always best if they couldn’t overhear my conversations—and Sam pulled out his phone. “Just letting Rose know I won’t be waiting outside.”

  Hmm. Rose. Maybe she could give me some advice about this mess I was in with her two best friends. Yeah, Gray. You really are a wuss. You don’t need advice. You need to man-up and talk to Claire. Be straight with her.

  Sam waved his hand in front of my face. “Hey, you there?”

  “Oh, yeah, sorry. What’d you say?”

  “You come here to work out?”

  “No. We shot some hoops. I just wanted to tire them out since I have to watch them today.”

  Sam looked over his shoulder at my brothers. Marcus had his hands in the middle of the foosball table—probably holding onto Travis’s players. “Does that help?”

  I laughed. “Sometimes. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad school starts next week. I’ll only be in charge of them for an hour or so every day.”

  A kid across the room fell on the floor laughing. People turned in unison to look, then went back to what they were doing. “You’re like Claire,” Sam said, “always babysitting.”

  The babysitting thing was true, but not much else. I mean, Claire said whatever she wanted to people. With karate chopping hands. Which was one of the things I liked about her. “That’s probably the only way I’m like Claire.”

  Sam opened his mouth, but Rose appeared next to us as if by magic. Evil magic. She dropped her keys on the table and sat down, grinning. “Oh good, are you finally confessing you like Claire?”

  Thirty-Four

  Claire

  Jack banged his spoon against his highchair tray and I shook away thoughts of Gray smiling at me. Concentrate, Claire, or you’ll have baby food all over the floor. “C’mon, buddy, one more bite.” I slid the plastic bowl of pureed squash closer to him and he hit it with his spoon. “Almost, sweetie. Let’s try again.”

  I guided his spoon into the orangey goo, then helped him get it to his mouth. We were swooping down for another spoonful when my phone rang. A smile came to my lips. Gray. It might be Gray. But wasn’t it too early for him to call? I let go of Jack and grabbed the phone. Lindsey’s face, pursed lips and all, flashed on the screen.

  I shoved down the disappointment. Not that I didn’t want to talk to her, it was just, well anyway … “Hey.”

  “What’s up?” Lindsey asked.

  She sounded better. More like her old self. Sunday she’d been hungover and depressed, going on and on about Adam. He was due home tomorrow, and she was afraid everything was going to blow up. Of course, being grounded, she wouldn’t have much chance to see him.

  “I’m feeding Jack.” Speaking of which, the little monster had dumped the squash all over his tray and was running his spoon back and forth in it. “Oh, no.”

  “What?”

  “Baby food tidal wave. I’ll call you back.”

  I hung up and caught Jack’s little arm just as he was about to fling the bowl to the floor. “Okay, you. Lunch time is over.”

  He giggled and ran a squash-covered hand through his blond curls. Sigh.

  It took ten minutes to clean everything up. Then I took Jack outside, stripped him to his diaper, and gave him the water hose to play with. Maybe he’d get the rest of the squash out of his hair. And I’d have a couple of minutes to talk to Lindsey. I sat in a chair on the patio and squinted out at Jack’s head, bright orangey-yellow in the sunshine.

  Lindsey picked up on the first ring. “That took forever.”

  I laughed. “Squash can ooze into lots of crevices.”

  “Eww. Stop. We have better things to talk about.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like Adam. He’s been texting me all day. He misses me and can’t wait to see me tomorrow.”

  “Good. Are you gonna ask him about the cheating stuff?”

  “Maybe. Probably. I don’t know. I want to see how he is with me when he gets back. If he acts weird at all.”

  “How can he not? He’s Adam.”

  She laughed. “Shut up. He’s awesome and you know it.”

  I wished I could argue that point, but knew it was useless. “Yes, Lindsey. Of course, Lindsey.”

  “Here, let me prove it to you. I’ll read you one of his texts. Hang on.”

  Oh, yay. I’d always wanted to hear how Adam composed his romantic texts. “Linds, that’s private. You don’t have to—”

  “Wait, wait. Listen to this. ‘Can’t wait to see your beautiful face.’ Isn’t that sweet?”

  “Sweet.” Original, too. Jack doused himself in water, then waved the hose around in the air. Which was fine as long as he didn’t wave it near me.

  “Wait there’s more. ‘Can we spend time with just us? No Sam and Rose, no’ … um. Anyway, you get the idea. He’s so romantic.”

  She’d paused because he’d insulted me. I knew it. I didn’t like Adam and he didn’t like me. But I was curious. “You didn’t finish reading that one.”

  “Yes, I did. He just wants to be with me. Isn’t that cool?”

  “Of course it is. He’s your boyfriend. Finish the text. The whole text. I can take it.” And even though I’d said that, I braced myself.

  “Forget it. It’s not important.”

  “You can’t do that to me, Linds. You know it’s going to drive me crazy now until you tell me.”

  “It’s no big deal, Claire. C’mon.”

  “If it’s no big deal, just tell me.”

  “All right. You don’t have to be so snotty about it.”

  Snotty? Whatever. The phone went silent. I didn’t know if she was trying to get her courage up or what. I clutched the arm of the wrought iron chair.

  Lindsey let out a big sigh. “Okay. He said, ‘No Sam and Rose, no bitchy bowling freak with yellow glasses.’ There. Happy?”

  No, actually. I wasn’t. The decorative leaf pattern on the arm of the chair was biting into my palm. I got up and paced the patio. “Pretty funny, isn’t he?”

  “See, I knew you’d take it the wrong way. He was just kidding.”

  “Right. He’s freaking hilarious.”

  “C’mon, have a sense of humor, would you? He didn’t mean it.”

  Jack sprayed the toddler slide. I wished I could shove the hose in Adam’s face. I was so tired of him and his ugly snake tat. Lindsey seriously needed a new boyfriend.

  “Claire?”

  “Yeah, sorry. Jack is playing with the hose. I got distracted.”

  “Oh. Somehow that reminds me, you owe me big time.”

  “Why?”

  “Because yesterday Austin gave me the lecture meant for you.”

  My pacing turned into wandering. “Excuse me? You were the one who got drunk.”

  “Yeah, but most of the lecture was about Sean Hatcher.”

  The kiss. Oh yeah. It was amazing how one thing could be so cool and still so meaningless. I rolled the gem on my necklace around between my thumb and first finger. “Oh that.”

  “Yeah that. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

  “I haven’t had much of a chance. Yesterday you were sick and today my mother is freaking out about teaching next week.”

  “You still could’ve told me. You really kissed Sean? How was it? Austin’s been warning me away from him for years.”

  “What did Austin say?”

  “That he caught you making out with Sean. And that’s why he doesn’t want us coming to those parties. We’re too likely to get in over our heads.” She laughed. “As if we couldn’t get in over our heads with guys our own age too.”

  Gray’s quirky smile from this morning blasted its way again to the front of my mind. And then the delightful image of him kissing Lindsey overpowered it. I couldn’t talk to her anymore. “That’s true,” I croaked out.

  “So how was Sean?”


  “Um, fine. Look, I need to go—”

  “That’s it? Fine? I hear he’s a great kisser.”

  “Yeah, great kiss. But I wasn’t really into it, you know, because I’m not into him.”

  “Then I’m glad you got caught. Now you don’t have anything to feel bad about.”

  Jack’s diaper, filled with water, sagged to his little knees. I walked over to the faucet to turn off the hose. “What do you mean?”

  “Just that I’m sorry I kissed your boyfriend.”

  I froze, my hand on the water valve. “He’s not—”

  “Whether he is or not, he’s your friend, and you think he likes me, and now I’m worried he thinks I like him, which I don’t. It’s a huge mess.”

  I turned off the water, waiting for Jack’s inevitable squeals, but he was too busy tugging the edge of his diaper to have noticed. I sighed—away from the phone where Lindsey couldn’t hear me. Why was everything so complicated with her? I gently pulled the hose, causing Jack to giggle. At that sound, my anger faded.

  “Claire?”

  “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay. Gray’s a big boy. He can handle it.”

  “Are you sure? I never meant to do it. I was just … you know.”

  Hurt by Adam. I got it. I wished it would sink into her brain. Or her heart. “Yeah, I do.”

  Jack’s diaper hit the grass. The sudden freedom must have been thrilling because he giggled and ran around in circles.

  “There’s now a naked baby in our backyard. I’d better go.”

  Lindsey laughed. “Okay. But you’ll tell me what to do, right? I mean if Gray starts calling me and stuff?”

  “Why? You know how to handle guys. Just do whatever you usually do.”

  “I’ve never had to worry about other guys being your friend. I don’t want to hurt Gray’s feelings.”

  “Then just be nice about it. There’s no guarantee you won’t hurt him. That’s just the way it is.”

  “Maybe I’ll suggest he fall into your loving arms.”

  A little too close to home. “Ha, ha. Talk to you later.”

  We hung up. I chased Jack around the yard for a few more minutes. Maybe he’d have a good, long nap because of it. And all the while, I couldn’t shake the feeling Lindsey really needed to get rid of Adam. I didn’t like him. Or trust him.