Her Lifelong Dream

by Judy Kouzel

  "I lost my head for a moment back in the restaurant," Leedy said, trying to keep her voice even. "I shouldn't have kissed you ... and I will not let it happen again."

  Terry stopped and turned to her. "I wouldn't mind if you did let it happen again, Leedy."

  She wanted to say more. She wanted to tell him that his kiss was the most wonderful kiss she had ever known. She wanted to tell him that she was insanely jealous of the woman on the other end of the telephone and she couldn't stand it if there was another woman in his life. She wanted to fall into his arms and have him hold her with his strong arms and kiss her and tell her that everything was all right. But the words remained unspoken. Instead, she looked at her shoes in awkward silence.

  Terry watched her for a moment, a confused expression on his face. "Okay," he said, finally. "I ... um ... understand. I guess. I'll take you back to your car."

  He led her through the parking lot in silence. Leedy thanked him politely when he opened the car door for her. The night had turned cold. It was a good thing Terry had already put the top back on the Corvette. It didn't seem possible that just a few hours earlier, they had been riding through the night with the roof down. She remembered how happy she felt. How excited. She reached across the seat and unlocked the door to let him in. "Thanks," he said as he started the engine. They drove away, neither one knowing what to say. It was a much more sullen trip than the ride in.

  "It is getting chilly, isn't it?" Leedy asked, trying to make small talk.

  "It sure is," he said, his voice puzzled. She looked out the window and pretended to be engrossed with the view. She couldn't bear to look at him. She knew if she looked at him too long, she'd want to kiss him again. Then she remembered the phone call.

  When they finally got back to the parking lot where she had parked her car, she got out of the Corvette quickly. "Thank you for a wonderful dinner," she said, climbing out before he could come around and open the door for her.

  "Leedy, I'm sorry about the kiss," Terry said, stumbling out of the car behind her. "No!" he said suddenly. "I take that back. I'm not sorry I kissed you. I want to kiss you again ..."

  "There's no need to apologize," she said, her words catching in her throat. "It was just a kiss. It didn't mean anything." She climbed into her car and started the engine before Terry could say another word. She waved good-bye and pulled her Jeep out of the parking lot, all the while wishing he would somehow stop her.

  Terry followed behind her until she was almost home. At first, she thought maybe he was going to follow her to her apartment, but he turned off onto the highway before they reached her street. He gave three quick beeps of his horn and waved, as if nothing had changed between them. She watched him through her rearview mirror as he drove away, thinking about the kiss she could still taste on her lips.

  "T hen what happened?" Brittany asked.

  "Nothing," Leedy said.

  "Nothing?"

  "He took me back to my car and I went home."

  "He didn't kiss you again?"

  "No. He didn't kiss me again. I guess it was just one of those ... moments."

  "One of what moments?" Brittany asked, looking disappointed. "How come you two didn't smooch a little in the parking lot?"

  "Because," Leedy said, too sharply. "I don't smooch in parking lots! And he's my instructor ... and the loan officer at the bank. Besides, I'm not a sixteen-year-old, you know."

  "So what?" Brittany scoffed. "You don't have to be a teenager to enjoy a good old-fashioned smooching in a parking lot. In fact, don't knock it until you've tried it! And, may I remind you, there is only two more weeks left of your night class."

  Leedy was beginning to regret that she had told Brittany about the kiss she and Terry had shared. "Brit, he got another phone call," Leedy reminded her. "And I'm sure it was a woman."

  "So what?" she said. "That call could have been about anything."

  "It could have been," Leedy said. "But it wasn't. I could tell by the way he was speaking into the phone. I think it might have been Krissy Montgomery ..."

  "Is that the bimbo you told me about? The one who keeps giving you dirty looks? From class?" Brittany asked, dismissing the notion with a sweep of her hand. "Jo Anne already told you he wasn't interested in her. Besides, if you're so concerned that he might be seeing someone, why don't you ask him?"

  The question left Leedy speechless. Ask him? Well, of course, that did seem like the logical, not to mention obvious, thing to do. And leave it to Brittany to point out the most adult course of action. But ...

  "I don't know," Leedy said at last. "It doesn't feel like a question I can ask him yet. Right now, it feels like smooching with the loan officer in the parking lot is ... wrong."

  Brittany's mouth dropped open. "Leedy!" she exclaimed. "Your loan was declined, remember? And I was not suggesting you smooch with the loan officer in an effort to push through the paperwork. I was only suggesting that you act on feelings that you and I both know you have. Feelings that are healthy and natural and good!"

  "I know," Leedy said. "You're right, Brit. But ... But ... It's just that I don't know where I stand with him and I need to concentrate on my career ... Can we talk about this later? Or better still, not at all? We should get back to work."

  Brittany shrugged. "Fine," she said and headed for the kitchen.

  Leedy pretended to check the coffee stations. By the time she had restocked the already full cabinet with supplies, she felt ashamed of herself. She remembered the delighted expression on Brittany's face when she told her about Terry's kiss in the restaurant. Brittany was happy Leedy had found a romance.

  "I'm sorry," Leedy said, when she found Brittany headed for the dish room with a tray full of dirty coffee cups. "It's just that ... It's like this ..."

  Brittany waited, her chin sticking out stubbornly. "It's like what?"

  "I don't know," Leedy said, searching for the words. "This was the second time Terry got a phone call. And you should see the way she looks at him in class. It's as if she wants to peel her clothes off and climb on top of him! The whole thing reminds me of the way it was before Brian and I broke up. The hushed voices over the phone and the darting eyes. I know Terry isn't my boyfriend and he's free to see anyone he ..."

  "Brian?" Brittany said, cocking her head to the side. "Is that why you're so worked up over this? Oh, Leedy ... Brian is ancient history. Besides, it was a different situation altogether. You had been together with Brian for a few years and he didn't even have the decency to tell you the truth about Angela! I know it was a painful experience, but not all men are like him."

  "I know," Leedy said. "But it's hard to believe Terry has no one in his life. You've seen him, Brit. He's a handsome man and ..."

  "And from everything I've heard about him, he's a nice man," Brittany said. "And he's also a man who obviously likes you too. Don't you see that?"

  She shrugged. "No," she said. "I don't see it."

  "Well, you should," Brittany said. "Everyone else does. Oh, by the way, and I'm speaking for women everywhere when I say this, you can have a career and a romance at the same time."

  "Really?"

  "Yes," Brittany sighed. "People do it every day. Mark and I are both full-time students, remember? We juggle classes, jobs, family, and a so-called social life and we have a romance. As a matter of fact, we wouldn't have it any other way."

  "I know it can be done," Leedy said. "But ..."

  "But what?"

  "But ... Terry hasn't asked me for a date. Not a real date anyway. Just impromptu after-class get-togethers. Usually with Jo Anne."

  Brittany considered this carefully and then shrugged. "Weren't you the one who made it clear that you didn't want to see him while you're still a student in his class?"

  Leedy shrugged. "Well ... yes. But ..."

  "He's only respecting your wishes. But the sparks are flying, aren't they?"

  "Yes."

  "Then why don't you tell him you've changed your mind? Why don't you ask
him out on a date?"

  "I could never do that," Leedy protested.

  "Yes you can," Brittany said. "As a matter of fact, as I recall, your RSVP to my wedding said you were bringing along a guest ..."

  Leedy blinked. When she had responded to Brittany's invitation a month ago, she had assumed she could find someone to escort her to the wedding. She had even considered calling up her cousin Frank. But now ...

  "Why don't you invite Terry to my wedding?" Brittany asked. "The date falls the week after your class ends. It will be fun."

  "Yes, but ..."

  "You have a class tonight, don't you?"

  "Yes. I do, but ..." Leedy's face suddenly went pale and she looked at her watch. "Oh, dear," she said. "I better hurry or I'm going to be late for that class!"

  Leedy gave Brittany a sudden, hard hug and then headed to the employees' locker room. She quickly changed into her faded blue jeans and an old argyle sweater. She thought of Krissy Montgomery and wondered what she was going to wear to class tonight. Probably a sequined ball gown. Leedy suddenly wished she had brought something nicer to wear to class, but it was too late. She grabbed her bookbag and rushed back to the dining room.

  "Wish me luck!" she called to Brittany as she hurried past.

  "Good luck!" Brittany said, slapping her a high-five.

  Leedy gave her a thumbs-up and bounded out the door. She was late and traffic made her even later. Class had already begun by the time she pulled into the parking lot.

  "Sorry I'm late," Leedy whispered to Terry when she finally made her way into class a few minutes later. Krissy Montgomery rolled her eyes and smiled at Terry. He ignored her and went back to his lecture. Leedy found her seat and took out her notebook and pen. She then pulled out the tape recorder and hit the RECORD button.

  Jo Anne grinned at her. "Hey girl," she whispered.

  Leedy watched Terry and tried to concentrate on what he was saying. He looked handsome in his khaki slacks and a dark blue, long-sleeved polo shirt. Leedy was thankful she had finally bought the tape recorder. Now she had an excuse to watch her instructor for the entire class. And watching Terry was all she wanted to do. Now and then, she noticed him look her way. When this happened, her heart would race and she'd look at him shyly. He would smile at her with an expression of curious reserve on his face. Then he'd go on with his lecture.

  "Would you and Terry like to go out for coffee after class?" she asked Jo Anne. She was thinking about what Brittany had said, but she knew she'd never have the nerve to ask him to the wedding, especially with Jo Anne there. But it was the only excuse she could think of to see him.

  "Sorry, Leedy," Jo Anne said. "Riley was sick today and I want to relieve Ted on nurse detail. You and Terry go on without me."

  Leedy wished for that very thing, but it was not to be. She had rehearsed the invitation over and over in her heard. "Coffee?" she would ask, as if it didn't matter one way or the other if he went with her or not. Or maybe she should try the more direct approach and say, "Can we get together after class? I'd like to talk to you about a personal matter."

  Terry was speaking, but she barely heard what he said. "That's it for tonight, folks. We'll meet again on Tuesday." Leedy started packing up her bags quickly, hurrying to beat Krissy to the punch, but she was too late. Krissy was already standing next to him, tossing her long, silky hair and hanging onto every word he said.

  "I'll walk with you to your car," a dejected Leedy told Jo Anne.

  "Sure," she said. "Let's wait for Terry."

  Jo Anne and Leedy made their way slowly to the front of the room, both hoping the harem would exit soon.

  "Hi," he said when they walked up. He was watching Leedy, his expression hesitant, but hopeful. Krissy Montgomery turned, gave them a cool stare and then turned back to Terry.

  "Are you ready?" she chirped, once more tossing her glorious blonde hair.

  Terry's eyes darted to Leedy. "I'm just taking Krissy to . . ." he began, but Krissy was pulling on his arm.

  "Let's not be late," she cooed, tugging on the waist of his shirt.

  "I'll walk you ladies to your car," he said, ignoring her.

  Leedy felt uncomfortable, following behind Terry and Krissy as they walked to the parking lot. Jo Anne walked next to her, but Leedy still felt as if she was intruding on Terry and Krissy's private party.

  "Here you go, Mrs. Cleaver," Krissy snipped to Jo Anne under her breath.

  "Why, thank you, dearie," Jo Anne said biting out the words. She looked over at Terry, but realized he hadn't heard her snide remark. He was too busy studying Leedy's stiff, frozen expression.

  "I'll ... um ... see you soon," he said slowly when Leedy turned toward her Jeep. Was it her imagination, or did he have something more to say?

  "Ta ta," Krissy said, taking Terry by the arm and pulling him toward the Corvette. "Don't wait up for us."

  Leedy tried to think of something clever to say, but all she managed was; "See you in class next week." She could almost hear Brittany groan, but it was no use. Clearly, Terry's attention was directed elsewhere and this was not the time or the place to talk. His attention was directed at Krissy. Leedy started her engine and tried not to watch as the two walked to his Corvette. Terry was speaking to her, his face serious, but she couldn't hear what he was saying.

  Leedy looked the other way and didn't look at them again until she drove past on her way out of the parking lot. Krissy was sitting in the passenger seat of Terry's car, leaning toward him seductively. He was behind the steering wheel. He glanced up at Leedy and waved as she drove past him at full tilt. She looked away quickly, but not before she saw that Krissy was leaning toward him, practically sitting on his lap, with her full, firm breasts pressing against him. Leedy fixed her eyes on the exit of the parking lot. She forced herself not to look in the rearview mirror because she knew he had still not started his car.

  "I'm going to open up my own restaurant someday," Leedy said out loud as she drove onto the main road. "And it's going to be the best restaurant in town." But somehow the sentence, one she had said to herself thousands and thousands of times, didn't feel quite the same this time. She still wanted her own restaurant, but she wanted Terry Foster even more.

  it was only early November, but the shops in the mall were already trimmed for Christmas. Green and red decorations adorned every window from the card shop to the pet store to the food court. Wreaths made of plastic lined the walls, and motion-sensitive Santas began to sing or chuckle merrily whenever anyone got too close.

  "Can't we get through with Halloween before the Christmas season begins?" Deanna grumbled. "At least let us celebrate Thanksgiving. That's still three weeks away! I wish we could enjoy one holiday at a time, don't you, Leedy?"

  "I agree with you one hundred percent," Leedy said. It had been less than a week since she had spent that time with Terry, but it felt more like years. The scheduled shopping trip with Deanna had made her restless since Sunday. Maybe Deanna could provide more information about her uncle's mysterious phone calls. Not that Leedy could bring herself to grill Deanna about Terry's comings and goings. That was, after all, his own personal business.

  Deanna was wearing her long blond hair in two braids, like a teenage Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, and sipping on a caramel frappuccino. They had already taken the burdensome bookbag to Leedy's car for safekeeping and had returned to the coffee shop so they could sit down and formulate a plan of attack for their shopping activities.

  "I want to go to that shoe store again," Deanna said. "I have to take back the running shoes. I got them home and they like, I don't know, felt funny. Thank goodness I never took them out for a run."

  Leedy nodded. It was all she could do to keep her mind on the conversation at hand when all she wanted to do was ask for news about Terry. "Have you been running much?" she fished.

  "Nah. I've got too much homework to do to be able to run."

  "Oh. How about your uncle? Has he been able to get out and run?" As soon as the word
s came out of her mouth, she regretted saying them. Surely Deanna could see through her thinly disguised efforts to pump her for information.

  "I think he runs at lunch sometimes," she said, with a shrug. "There's a gym in his office building with a treadmill. Maybe he gets a few miles in on that."

  "Oh," Leedy said, thoughtfully. "Do you want to check at the sports store for another pair of running shoes?" She was pleased with herself because she had managed to ask a question that didn't involve Terry.

  "That's a good idea," Deanna said, and they took to the mall. Leedy promised herself she wouldn't mention Terry's name again. Even if she was dying. But, on the other hand, if Deanna should happen to bring up the subject of her uncle, she wouldn't stop her.

  No, Leedy told herself. You're not to bother Deanna with your childish games. If you want to find out if Terry is seeing Krissy Montgomery, then you just have to ask him yourself. Don't drag Deanna into this! Then she sighed. Of course he was seeing her. Hadn't Leedy seen with her own two eyes how Krissy had practically given him a lap dance in his car!

  "Your uncle told me he was having some sort of problem at work," Leedy asked, all reservations thrown out the window. "Is everything all right?"

  "I don't know," Deanna said with a shrug. "He had some kind of date on Saturday night and I went to the football game on Sunday. I have not seen Uncle Terry since Saturday"

  A date! Leedy's heart sank. "Oh," she mumbled.

  "You'll see him when you drop me off at home," Deanna said. "Maybe we can have Chinese food again."

  After that Leedy couldn't think of much more to talk about with Deanna. She asked her about school and her studies, but something seemed to be lacking from their conversation. So preoccupied with Terry, she didn't feel the usual spark of enthusiasm she always felt when Deanna was around.

  Leedy sighed and tried on another pair of shoes. "I don't know," she said to Deanna. "I couldn't wear these to work, that's for certain. Not and be able to walk properly. What do you think?"

  "I love impractical shoes," Deanna said, a giggle in her voice. "There's nothing like the feeling of pinched toes and an aching instep to make a girl feel pretty. That's what I always say."