Disgrace and Desire

by Sarah Mallory

He turned on his heel and walked away. Eloise stared after him, but she had no time to consider his words, for no sooner had he moved off than Sir Ronald Deforge was at her side and she forced herself to listen to his pleasantries and respond with a smile. There was no opportunity to speak to Alex until they were going into dinner, when he offered her his arm as they processed from the drawing room across the hall and into the dining room.

  ‘Well, my dear, you have all the men enchanted, as usual. And judging by the number of times I heard you laugh I suppose you must be enjoying yourself.’

  ‘You are mistaken!’ Eloise glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear them. ‘Until I know who has been writing those dreadful letters to me I cannot relax for a moment. Oh, Alex, it is so unsettling! With the exception of yourself and Mr Renwick, not one of the gentlemen can come near me without I have to suppress a shudder.’

  ‘Not even Major Clifton? I thought we had agreed he was above suspicion.’

  Eloise spread her hands.

  ‘He is, but that does not mean I can bear to have him by me.’ She was not going to admit to Alex that the shaking she experienced when Jack Clifton was near was for a very different reason. ‘However, we are not enemies any more.’

  ‘You are not?’

  ‘No. We—um—we understand each other now.’

  ‘Is that since he took you into the garden last night?’ He grinned at her horrified look. ‘Graham took great delight in telling me that Clifton had cut me out.’

  They were entering the dining room and Eloise was obliged to swallow the infelicitous remark that rose to her lips.

  ‘It was no such thing,’ she hissed. ‘We merely…talked, and he apologised for misjudging me.’ After a brief pause she added, ‘He said to tell you that he is not our enemy. And that he is not your rival.’

  Alex handed her to her seat, saying, ‘Generous of him to tell me he has no interest in you.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said bleakly. ‘Isn’t it?’

  The following morning Mr Renwick took the gentlemen off shooting and the ladies were left to amuse themselves. The more energetic of the ladies, including Eloise, joined their hostess for a tour of the grounds, ending with refreshments served at the Temple of Diana. As they approached the pavilion, Eloise could see that it was a perfect cube with shallow steps on four sides leading to columned porticos. It was a bright, sunny day and Mrs Renwick had ordered the wide doors of the pavilion to be opened and the chairs moved out under the porticos so that the ladies could all sit and enjoy the magnificent views. The occasional gunshot could be heard, carried on the light breeze. Miss Briggate and her sister whiled away the time by staring at the woods on the far horizon, trying to spot the gentlemen. Eloise took a chair beside her cousin and they sat in companionable silence, gazing out across the park. The autumn colours were beginning to show themselves and Eloise could not help comparing the cheerful riot of green, red and gold with the silver-blue landscape she had seen the previous night.

  ‘Such a sad sigh, Cousin,’ remarked Mrs Cromer. ‘I hope you are not unhappy?’

  Eloise started.

  ‘Did I sigh? Oh dear, I was not aware of it. I beg your pardon. How could one be unhappy in this beautiful place?’

  ‘I could not, certainly, and when you were younger I remember how much you enjoyed being in the country,’ returned Meg, smiling. ‘But I have not seen you for a long time, Cousin, you may have changed. We have seen little of each other since you and Tony were married. Understandable, of course.’

  ‘No, it was very remiss of me,’ declared Eloise. ‘I should have made more effort to invite you to stay—’

  Meg threw up her hands and laughed at that.

  ‘No, no, you young people were far too busy with your own concerns. Besides, I had my girls to look after, and they were a handful, always wanting to be gadding about the town.’ She threw a smiling glance at Eloise. ‘That is why I thought you might be missing the delights of London.’

  Eloise quickly disclaimed, ‘Not at all, Meg, why should you think that of me?’

  ‘Gossip travels, my dear.’

  ‘Ah.’ Eloise turned in her chair to regard her cousin. ‘Gossip about me, I suppose. I know some people think I am behaving disgracefully.’

  Meg leaned across and took her hand. ‘Cousin, it is only natural that you should want to enjoy yourself, after a year in mourning, but perhaps you have let your high spirits run away with you. And it is not only your behaviour in town: I am well aware that you and Major Clifton were missing for more than an hour last night. A reputation is far more easily lost than won, you know.’

  Eloise bowed her head.

  ‘I know it. Did—did anyone else notice?’

  ‘I am sure they did! Mrs Renwick made some passing comment, but only to the effect that she was glad to see the major taking an interest in women again.’

  ‘Oh.’ Eloise began to rearrange her skirts, saying casually, ‘Our hostess knows the major well?’

  ‘Her husband does, certainly,’ replied Meg, turning her face up to the sun. ‘I understand Major Clifton suffered some disappointment in his youth. He was in love with a maid but she married someone else. Seems she was such a paragon that he has not looked at a woman since—not at women of his own class, that is,’ she amended with a knowing smile. ‘I have heard that he has had any number of mistresses.’

  Eloise stared across the park in silence as she digested this. She could well imagine the upright, incorruptible Major Clifton falling in love with a model of propriety. In comparison, her own reputation would seem bad indeed, but he was clearly attracted to her. Perhaps he saw her only as mistress material. Suddenly the day did not seem quite so bright.

  ‘I think perhaps I have been a little careless,’ she said quietly. ‘Some may even call me fast—but I intend to change that.’ She paused. Everything depended upon her recovery of the journal, but she could not tell Meg that. She told herself fiercely that she would not countenance failure. She said decisively, ‘When I leave here I have to return to London for a few weeks, to wind up my affairs before going back to Allyngham for the winter. Once in Norfolk the management of the estate will take up most of my time, but I wanted to ask if you would come back to town with me.’

  ‘To lend you countenance?’ asked Meg, giving her a quizzical look.

  ‘Yes, if you like,’ said Eloise, smiling. ‘To make me respectable!’

  ‘Oh, my dear, you know I would love to come with you, but my daughter is lying in next month and I must go to Shropshire to be with her. I am so sorry. But next Season, if you go to town, it would be my pleasure to come and live with you.’

  ‘Yes, of course, Meg. Thank you.’

  ‘And until then I am sure we can find some other respectable lady to keep you company in town—’

  ‘No, no, I would not wish to take on a stranger for a mere few weeks.’ Eloise shook her head. ‘And once I retire to Allyngham, there is so much to do that I shall not have time to be lonely.’ She smiled reassuringly at her cousin. ‘I am sure I can manage to keep out of trouble for a few more weeks!’

  ‘Then let us start with this evening,’ retorted Meg, a twinkle in her sharp eyes. ‘There must be no moonlight walks tonight, no matter how handsome the gentleman!’

  No one could have been more decorous than Lady Allyngham at dinner that evening. She was gracious and charming, but she could not be persuaded to leave her hostess’s side until the card tables were set up and even then she would only play a friendly game of whist. Jack observed it all. He made no move to approach her, and watched with a detached amusement as the other single gentlemen tried unsuccessfully to draw her away from the group. Mortimer, he noticed, was unconcerned, and he guessed that whatever game the widow was playing, her guard dog knew of it. He was even more convinced when Mortimer agreed to join him for a game of billiards.

  ‘You would not rather play at cards with us, Mortimer?’ cried Edward Graham, looking up.

  Alex grinned
and shook his head.

  ‘If Sir Ronald has only half his usual luck I would be handing over my shirt to him. I shall enjoy a quiet game of billiards with Clifton instead.’

  ‘On leave from your sentry duty?’ Jack murmured as the two men made their way to the billiard room.

  Alex did not pretend to misunderstand him.

  ‘My lady has turned over a new leaf,’ he replied evenly, selecting a cue from the rack. ‘She wants her cousin to live with her, to protect her reputation.’

  ‘That sounds very much like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.’ Mortimer said nothing, but Jack observed the heavy frown that flitted across his face. He said, ‘Have I offended you?’

  Alex shrugged.

  ‘Not at all. Shall we play?’

  ‘I would rather you told me about Lady Allyngham.’

  ‘What is there to tell?’ Alex responded lightly. ‘She is a beautiful woman.’

  ‘And you have known her a long time?’

  ‘Almost all my life. We grew up together, as neighbours. She is a very loyal friend.’

  ‘Then perhaps you know what it is that she is hiding from me.’

  Alex did not reply until he had made his first shot.

  ‘All women have their secrets, Major Clifton.’ His derisory grin flickered. ‘As a man of the world you must know that. Now…’ he nodded towards the billiard table ‘…I have made my play; it is time to see what you can do!’

  By the time they returned to the drawing room the card tables were packed away and the party was gathered about the crackling fire, drinking tea. There was a burst of laughter as they entered: Mr Renwick was entertaining his guests with stories of his childhood at Renwick Hall.

  ‘Always falling into some fix or another,’ he chuckled, shaking his head. ‘The woods were our favourite playground. The poor gamekeeper came pretty close to peppering us with shot on more than one occasion.’

  ‘Ah, but boys will be boys,’ murmured Mr Briggate, steepling his fingers.

  ‘And not only boys,’ put in Mrs Cromer with a laughing glance at Eloise, sitting beside her on the sofa. ‘My cousin here was for ever in trouble with Lord and Lady Allyngham.’

  ‘Meg, please, you will put me to blush!’ Eloise protested laughingly.

  ‘No, please, do go on, Mrs Cromer,’ Sir Ronald begged. ‘We can never hear enough of Lady Allyngham.’

  ‘She and my cousin grew up together,’ explained Meg. ‘Anthony treated her more like a boy than a girl, and as often as not when I came to call they would be out together clambering over the rocks or climbing trees,’ She nodded towards Alex. ‘And that young man was usually with them. Three scamps they were, but inseparable, until the boys went off to school and Eloise was sent to Bath, where she learned to be a lady.’

  ‘Ah, so your youthful companions were lost to you after that,’ remarked the eldest Miss Briggate, sighing.

  ‘Not at all,’ replied Eloise, smiling. ‘We were together in the holidays and once my schooling was over I returned to Allyngham and saw them often and often.’

  ‘And you were all as wild as ever,’ laughed Meg. ‘The number of times I called and found that Eloise was in disgrace and had been confined to her room! My poor Aunt Allyngham was in despair, wondering how to deal with such a hoyden!’

  ‘I think I must defend my lady,’ put in Alex, smiling. ‘She was loyal to a fault and often took the blame for our pranks.’ He walked across and stood behind the sofa. ‘Of the three of us, Lady Allyngham was the sensible one. She spent most of her time rescuing Tony and me from our more outlandish scrapes.’

  There was general laughter, Mrs Renwick began to refill the teacups and Jack wondered if anyone else had noticed Alex’s hand rest briefly on Eloise’s white shoulder. His eyes made a quick sweep of the room. Most of the guests were chattering but Sir Ronald was silent, staring intently at Eloise, his fingers tapping on the arm of his chair and a sly smile on his face. Jack frowned. He misliked that smile. The man was dangerous, and if Lady Allyngham had somehow offended him, perhaps rejected his advances…

  He broke off from his reflections as Miss Briggate brought him a dish of tea, but even as he joined in the general conversation he made a mental note to keep an eye on Deforge.

  It was gone midnight when the party broke up and Eloise accompanied her cousin up the stairs to the main guestrooms. She was very sleepy and was tempted to remark that remaining virtuous all day was extremely tiring, but she did not think Meg would appreciate the joke. They parted on the landing and Eloise retired to the cosy silence of her bedchamber. Several candles were burning and the draught as she shut her door set the shadows dancing on the painted panels of the room. There was no sign of her maid, and she tugged on the embroidered bell-pull, impatient now to get out of her gown. Something on the bed caught her eye, a small, pale square on the near-black of the covers. A letter.

  A sudden chill swept through her bones. Her fingers were not quite steady as she picked up the paper and unfolded it. The heavy black writing danced before her eyes and she turned the paper towards the light, blinking until her vision cleared.

  ‘I beg yer pardon, my lady, I wasn’t expectin’ you quite so soon.’

  Eloise pressed the paper to her chest as Alice bounced into the room. She must think, and quickly.

  ‘Alice, I need you to run an errand for me.’

  ‘At this time o’ night, m’lady?’

  ‘Yes, I am afraid so.’ She turned and tried to give her maid a confident smile. ‘I need you to carry a message to Mr Mortimer for me.’

  Alice’s eyes grew round.

  ‘Mr—but ’e’s in the east wing, with all the gentlemen!’

  ‘I know, Alice, and I am sorry to ask it of you but it is very important, and I cannot trust anyone else.’ She added coaxingly, ‘You have known me since we were little girls together at Allyngham: you know I would not ask if it was not very important.’

  She could see the maid mentally girding her loins as she digested this.

  ‘Very well, Miss Elle.’ Alice drew herself up, looking very resolute. ‘What is it you want me to do?’

  Eloise stood by the little gate into the rose garden, clutching her cloak around her. She prayed that Alice had carried her message faithfully. A sudden movement to her left made her jump: someone was approaching. She relaxed a little as she recognised Alex’s familiar form.

  ‘Now, Elle, what is all this?’ he whispered.

  ‘He has written.’ She held up the note. ‘It is too dark for you to read it, but he wants me to meet him, tonight, at the Temple of Diana.’

  ‘Does he, by thunder! Then I’ll go back and fetch my pistol—’

  She gripped his arm.

  ‘No, no violence! But I want you to come with me, Alex, and hide in the woods. The letter says I am to come alone but I do not think I am brave enough to do that.’

  ‘Of course I will come with you, I would not let you go unattended to meet the villain.’

  ‘Good. We will set off now, if you please. I expect him to be watching out for me, so we must go separately. You must take the path through the woods, I will follow the lower track beside the lake.’

  ‘It could be dangerous.’ Alex caught her arm. ‘You do not have to do this, Elle.’

  ‘I do,’ she replied softly. ‘You know that until we destroy the journal we cannot be safe.’

  ‘There is a way out of this that does not involve paying the blackguard!’

  ‘Go abroad, you mean? The Allyngham name would still be tarnished, and I will not do that to Tony’s memory.’ She squeezed his arm. ‘Wait for me in the woods, but be ready to come if I call.’

  They hurried through the rose garden and Alex set off up the hill. Eloise watched him disappear into the trees and felt a slight moment of panic. Giving herself a mental shake, she pulled her cloak more tightly about her and set off along the lakeside path. Black clouds were scudding across the sky, occasionally blocking out the moon and making it difficu
lt to see the ground in front of her. The sudden cry of a fox made her jump and at one point an owl flew silently overhead like a sinister dark angel. Eloise walked on, keeping her eyes fixed on the solid shape of the temple in the distance. A slight breeze blew across the lake, rippling its calm surface. The trees sighed and a tingle ran the length of her spine: unseen eyes were watching her, she knew it. She left the lakeside and made her way up the slope towards the temple. The steps and the portico gleamed white in the moonlight, but deep shadows filled the interior. Taking a deep breath, she climbed the steps and entered.

  The square temple had a glazed door and large windows on each of the four sides, casting a silver-grey light into the centre. Eloise was immediately aware of a figure standing in one of the shadowed corners. His face was a ghostly pale disc against the blackness around him.

  ‘I have come,’ she said, steeling herself to keep still. ‘What is it you want of me?’

  ‘Well, that depends.’ The grating whisper jarred on her stretched nerves. ‘How badly do you want the return of that book?’

  She shrugged. ‘It is worth something to me, I admit, but not much. There are no names in it, after all.’

  He laughed softly.

  ‘Oh, come now, Lady Allyngham. A full year’s reminiscences: dates, places. It would not take a vast intelligence to work out the identities of those mentioned. I have not yet decided if I should publish it in book form—look how popular Caro Lamb’s Glenarvon has become in just a few months!—or perhaps I should release it to the newspapers, little by little…’

  ‘How much do you want?’ she interrupted him sharply.

  ‘Everything.’

  ‘Now you are ridiculous!’

  ‘Am I? To prevent your ruin, and that of your friends?’

  Anger surged through her.

  ‘Step out of the shadows,’ she challenged him. ‘I am tired of talking to nothing. I want to see the villain who dares to threaten me!’

  Again that soft laugh.