Heal Me (Magnolia Series Book 2)

by Alexandra Page

  So, everything’s done, it’s time to go…except I need to say goodbye to a few more people first.

  I haven’t been out there in over two years. Not since their funerals.

  The weight of that has been hovering over me like a storm cloud since we got here. I haven’t let myself even look that way, trying to pretend they aren’t there, just through the trees. But they are, and I need to go see them one more time. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t, but I can’t seem to get my ass off this old swing.

  Nik makes his way up the steps and over to me, his pace slow. I stop swinging, holding it still to let him sit down beside me. We’re both quiet as I curl into his side. He wraps his arm around my back and rests his head against mine, then his long legs begin to pump. The rhythmic creaking starts up again.

  He waits, a silent rock, no pushing or prompting, just giving me time to work up the courage. We haven’t talked about going and seeing them. I don’t know if he even knows that’s where they are, but he still knows I need time.

  Because he knows me. Like no one else ever has.

  That knowledge gives me the push I need. He deserves all of me, and I can’t give it to him until I say goodbye to my past.

  I stand up and hold my hand out to him. “Take a walk with me?”

  He doesn’t hesitate at all, slipping his hand in mine and standing up. I lead him down the steps, across the yard to the path that leads through the trees.

  I keep focused on the ground under my feet and the way the dry leaves crunch beneath our footsteps. There’s no need to look where I’m going anyway, I could find them in the dark. It only takes us a few minutes to get there.

  The smell hits me first, the air suddenly filled with a heavy mixture of sweet honey and flowers. Then my eyes find them and I stop. Dozens of white lilies, each almost as big around as Nik’s hand, mark the graves of my loved ones. They’re all perfectly placed, on all eight headstones, fresh and bright, like new fallen snow.

  “I hope I didn’t overstep,” Nik says, his voice quiet behind me.

  I spin around, he’s standing a few feet away, looking worried and unbelievably small. I didn’t even feel him let go of my hand, or realize I had left him behind. “You did this? But how did you know?”

  He nods and shrugs, staring at his feet, the fingers of his left hand curled up and picking at his thumb. I never realized it before now, but every time he’s nervous or uncomfortable he does that.

  My heart swells and softens all at once. I didn’t think I could love him any more than I already did. I was wrong.

  I hurry back to him and take his fretting fist in my hands. He lets me smooth the tension away with my fingers.

  “Brandon helped me out. The florist did the rest,” he confesses. I start to try and tell him how thankful I am, but his nerves get the best of him and he cuts me off. “I thought about my grandparents, my mom and dad. I haven’t been in years. I should go.” His eyes dart behind me, to where my family is laid. “And I wanted to do something for them. I need them to know I’m grateful and that I’m going to take care of youI couldn’t think of anything else.”

  I reach up and stroke his stubbly cheek. “They’re perfect, baby. I love them and I know they would too. Thank you so much,” I whisper. It’s all I can manage without choking on my tears. I wrap him in a tight hug and he gives it right back. I don’t know how long we stand there before he gently pulls away.

  “I’ll wait over there,” he whispers, nodding towards the benches under the closest tree. “Take all the time you need.” He hands me a neatly folded bunch of tissues he pulled from his pocket then cups my head with his big hands, leaning down and kissing my forehead, lingering long enough that my throat tightens. Somehow sensing I’m about to lose it if he stays another second, he walks away, leaving me to say goodbye to my family.

  I take the few steps needed then sink to the ground at the feet of my boys, my family on their left, his on their right. It’s hard not to notice the empty space between Josh and Emily, the space meant for me. It’s wonder I’m not already there.

  I should be and would be if not for my miracle sitting under the tree not far away.

  “I’m sorry it took me so long to come see you. I got lost for a while and needed help finding my way back. I’d like to tell you about him…

  ~

  The sun is sliding low through the trees when I finally join Nik at his bench. He rises to his impressive height and pulls me into a long hug.

  There are no more tears to shed, so I just hug him back, soaking him in. I don’t feel the need to cry anymore anyway. The longer I sat there and talked to my family, the more at peace I felt. I knew before I got here I was making the right decision, but I still feel lighter, my spirit more at ease than it’s been since I was a kid.

  I finally pull away, but only far enough so I can stretch up on my toes to give him a kiss. “Thank you. For everything. For bringing me here, for never once losing your patience with me. For the flowers and what they mean. Just everything. God couldn’t have given me anyone better than you.”

  He shakes his head, brushing my hair back behind my ear. “I don’t know about that. I just love you, but you’re welcome. I wish I could do more though.”

  “They say there’s a season for everything and they all serve a purpose. I believe it now, but I think it’s safe to say my season of sadness is over. We’re both due for a nice long stretch of happiness, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, I definitely do.”

  “There is something else you can do for me though.”

  “Anything.”

  “Take us home.”

  He did.

  THE ONE

  ~

  Nik

  Finding the right time to surprise Ellie with my proposal is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Coming up with the proposal is even harder. After going all out on her prom……Well, let’s just say I might should’ve toned that down a bit.

  I can’t think of a single thing to top it.

  The ring’s been in my pocket for over three weeks now and it’s beginning to give me Gollum vibes. I’m always aware of it, heavy and almost warm against my leg. I feel its absence when I tuck it away every night. And hoping to get a sudden inspiration, I’m constantly playing with it and looking at it every time I’m alone. It’s precious to me because she is, but it belongs on her finger, not in my fucking pocket.

  I have got to figure this out before I go nuts.

  I did think to sneak in a conversation with Brandon before we left Copperhill to ask how Josh had asked her. I wanted to make sure I didn’t ask her the same way he did.

  She worked so hard to put the past behind her, I refuse to be the fuck up that drags it back.

  He did the ring in a cupcake thing so I’ll definitely be steering away from any food or drink related proposals.

  I’ve thought of just going simple, nothing fancy. Just pulling it out and dropping to one knee at a random moment. She’s worth so much more than that though.

  I nearly asked her two weeks ago after we had the most incredible sex I’ve ever known. It was shortly after we got home. We hadn’t made love in what felt like forever, even though it had only been four or five days. I wasn’t going to push her. I let her come to me and she finally did. We started out hot and frenzied, ready to feast after the famine, but we both ended up in tears. There wasn’t a word spoken between us, they weren’t needed. We said it all with our eyes and bodies as we slowly moved together then shattered into a million pieces.

  Ellie and I have had some amazing sex, the best I’ve ever had, but this was beyond all that. I’ve heard sex can be a spiritual experience, and I absolutely believe that now.

  The ring and even the piece of paper that will follow it could never connect us together any tighter than that night did.

  Maybe it was because she could finally give all of herself to me, I don’t know. It was just different and more beautiful in all the right ways. It wasn’t about gi
ving each other orgasms, it was so much more, like our souls split and fused together.

  I should’ve done it then. I should’ve just asked her. It would’ve been perfect.

  Or maybe not. Maybe I dodged a bullet. Seems like I’ve heard girls don’t like getting asked after sex. That it should be all about love and nothing about sex.

  But isn’t sex a big part of love and being in a relationship?

  God, Nik. What the fuck?

  I’m going crazy. This is literally driving me crazy.

  “Nik? Everything okay?” Scott asks, laying a hand on my shoulder and scaring the shit out of me.

  I nearly jump out of my skin.

  I’ve been back at work for a few days now, getting ready for the new semester. My kids start Monday. I’ve never been more unprepared.

  Scott stares at me, clearly concerned as I calm down. Or try to.

  “I’m all right. You just startled me.”

  “Sorry about that, but I’m more worried about how you were before I startled you. Since when do you talk to yourself?”

  “Fuck. Was I really?”

  He nods, eyebrows raised.

  I lean back in my chair and scrub my face, groaning. “I’m going crazy.”

  “It’s too soon, isn’t it? You need more time. I was afraid—”

  I wave my hand at him, cutting him off. “It’s not that. I’m ready for classes, or I would be if…” I dig the ring out of my pocket and hold it up. “If it wasn’t for this.”

  His worried face widens with a big smile. “You’re gonna ask her!? Wow! Man, that’s awesome. I’m really happy for you. For both of you. She’s a great girl,” he gushes until he registers my pained expression. “Wait. What’s… Shit, you haven’t changed your mind, have you?”

  “No. No, not at all. I want to ask her, I just don’t know how to ask her. And it’s driving me batshit, Scott. Like really batshit.”

  “Oh. Oooh. Well… She loves you. I honestly doubt she’s gonna care how you ask her. You know she’s gonna say yes.”

  “I know that, but it has to be special. She deserves special. She needs to know how much I love her.”

  Scott chuckles. “Nik, if she doesn’t know that already, she never will. She’d have to be dumb and blind not to. You, uh, suck at keeping the hearts out of your eyes. You’re so in love it’s a wonder you haven’t turned into a unicorn that shoots rainbows out its ass.”

  I nearly shove his boney, shaking body off my desk as he laughs at me. Instead I growl at him. “You’ve been talking to Leia too much.”

  He nods, wiping the tears from under his glasses. “She’d be proud of me for that one.”

  I just roll my eyes.

  “In all seriousness, man, just ask her. She’ll love it no matter how you do it because she loves you. Do it this weekend though, you won’t teach for shit come Monday if you don’t.”

  “I know, I know. You’re right. Her and Josie are going shopping tomorrow, maybe I can surprise her when she gets home?”

  “Yeah, sounds like a good plan. Go buy some flowers, maybe some chocolate… Nik?”

  “See ya Monday, Scott. Thanks!” I yell back at him as I run out the door.

  I’ve got a lot of work to do.

  ~

  Ellie

  Josie and I have been browsing through Pier 1 Imports hunting stuff for the house for almost an hour. It’s our fifth stop of the day. We started shopping at nine this morning and it’s after four now. I’m beat and have been ready to go home for ages. She, on the other hand, is a shopping machine.

  I was thrilled when Cash introduced us to her right after we got back from our trip. I’m not sure she’ll ever be more than his office manager – Nik swears Cash will never fall for another woman after his waste of an ex, and Josie seems to be all business around him – but having a girlfriend to pal around with is a boon for me. Though, I must admit my hopelessly romantic side would love for there to be more between them. They’d make a striking couple with their dark hair and beautiful eyes.

  “Oh, Ellie, look at these,” she coos, picking up what has to be the hundredth set of candlesticks she’s swooned over today. “They’d be gorgeous in your bedroom.”

  I smile and nod, like I’ve done all day, then send praises up to heaven when my phone starts chirping.

  My knight in shining armor saves the day.

  “This is Nik, hon. I’ll be right back, okay?” I let Josie know before I hurry out the door, not waiting on her response.

  “Oh my God, do you have any idea how much I love you right now?” I sigh into the phone as I plop down on the bench outside.

  His wonderful laughter fills my ear. “That bad, huh? I thought you liked Josie?”

  “No! I do, she’s great. Really. It’s just that…well, let’s just say the girl has an unhealthy obsession with candlesticks. If she shows me one more I swear I’ll beat myself to death with it. Please tell me something urgent has come up and I have to come home,” I whine.

  “My poor baby. How about a massage tonight?”

  “Sweet Lord, yes,” I moan, imagining how divine those big paws of his will feel kneading my sore body.

  “You better be careful moaning like that, someone will think you’re having phone sex. You’ll get arrested for lewd behavior,” he chuckles.

  “It’d be better than shopping,” I huff. “How’s your day been, baby?”

  “Pretty good. Finished up everything for Monday so I’m all set there.”

  “Yay, that’s great, sweetie.”

  “Yep, glad to have that done. But then I came by the house to check on things. That’s why I’m calling. I think they forgot the changes you made in our closet. Can you get here before five and look at it to make sure?”

  “Absolutely. Let me get Josie back to her car and I’ll be there as fast as I can drive it.”

  “Alright, be careful and I’ll see ya soon. Love you.”

  “Love you too, baby.”

  Josie is bummed our outing has to be cut short, but I promise her we’ll do it again soon as I wave and drive off.

  I’m such a glutton for punishment.

  Traffic is a bitch; it always is in Savannah. I finally pull up to the house at six after five. The front yard, usually full of work trucks these days, is empty except for the Corvette.

  Damnit. Those guys sure do stick to their quitting time. Guess I’ll just have to call the contractor if there’s a problem.

  We’re only a little over a week into this remodeling and even though they’re working fast, I’m already ready for it to be over.

  I grab my purchases and lug them up the front steps, my exhaustion sinking deeper with each one. I’m thinking when we head back to the townhouse, we can have a light supper, probably sandwiches, then I want a hot bath and Nik’s amazing hands rubbing all my aches away.

  I struggle with the door handle since my hands are full, hollering for help the second I get it cracked open. “Niiiik…” His name dies in my throat when my eyes register the sight before me.

  There’s flowers.

  Everywhere.

  Roses, lilies, tulips, peonies, daisies, and even orchids are covering every available surface in our house, all in shades of white, pink, and peach, filling it with the most amazing aromas.

  And straight in front of me, leaning against the railing of the back porch – just like he was leaning on that limo prom night, looking like James Bond in a perfectly tailored suit and tie, his infinite legs stretched out in front of him, with a sweet, but nervous smile – is the most perfect man in the world. Nestled in one of his big hands is a small, black velvet box.

  All the bags hit the porch, both my hands now plastered over my mouth. I knew this moment was coming and I’ve been eagerly awaiting it. I thought I was ready for it too.

  I am, I so, so am, but I didn’t think I’d be a sobbing mess quite this quickly. My heart’s trying to take flight out of my chest and I can’t stop the tears no matter how hard I try. I don’t know if I wa
nt to do a happy dance or run into his arms and cry uncontrollably.

  He lowers his tall body down onto one knee, then crooks a finger at me, that sweet smile still on his beautiful face.

  I weave my way through all the flowers as fast as my short legs will carry me and fling my arms around his neck. He manages to keep us upright, laughing as he rubs my back waiting on the first wave of tears to subside.

  Eventually they do and he sets me on his knee, then starts wiping them away. “These are happy tears,” he says proudly, his bright smile making me want to cry more.

  “Very happy tears,” I blubber in return, wiping and sniffling.

  “I’m guessing I did good on the surprise part?”

  “Yes! I had no idea, you didn’t give a thing away when you called me. And Nik, the flowers, they’re all so beautiful. They must have cost you a fortune.”

  The porch is covered in them too.

  “So what? You’re worth every penny and countless more, but I’m glad you like them,” he whispers.

  Then he gives me a kiss, just his lips pressed to mine, his hand holding my face just so. He stays there, lingering, and I swear my heart is gonna burst because I can feel how much he loves me in this simplest of kisses, like he’s somehow pouring his heart into mine. I whimper when he finally pulls away.

  His smile is so beautiful it hurts, his blue eyes are sparkling, crinkled at the corners. His golden hair short and sticking up everywhere, but in just the right places. He looks like a little boy, filled with utter joy, on the verge of getting the thing he’s wanted most.

  I think I might just die right here on this porch.

  “I’m going to get to the asking part now,” he says with a wink.

  I can only nod, biting into my lip to try and keep my tears under control.

  “You have no idea how crazy I’ve been over this,” he laughs, then his smile fades, his expression turning serious. “I wanted it to be as special as you are to me. I wanted it to be perfect, because to me you deserve no less than that. But, I remembered I’m far from perfect and somehow you love me anyway so I decided to just be me, to speak my heart, so here goes.”