Unbreak Me (Second Chances)

by Heather D'Agostino

  He slumped in the bed as he picked up the pile of papers. He had several landscapes and a few graphic pieces, but his specialty was portraits. He could look at a person for a matter of minutes and then draw their portrait from memory. “This is where your talent lies. This is what is going to get you into the school,” Mr. Simon had told him as he flashed a picture Zach had drawn of his mother. After some coaxing from Mr. Simon, Zach had submitted the picture with his portfolio. Now, here he sat with the letter in his lap telling him that he had been accepted. All he had to do now was tell Katie he was leaving.

  He knew it wasn’t right to just up and leave, but he had no choice. He needed Melanie to help him find a way to get to the rehab center near the school, and tell Katie that he was moving across the country. He felt awful that so many people had helped him, and he had no way to pay them back. He’d told Melanie that morning when she stopped by to check on him, that he had been accepted to the school and thanked her for all of her help in setting up care for him. He needed one more favor, a way to get to the center in Denver, Colorado. Melanie assured him that it was taken care of and not to worry. His only worry now was to tell Katie about leaving. As he was bending over to put the pile of papers down on the table, he heard a soft knock on the door.

  “Come in,” he called.

  Katie stepped through the door carrying her schoolbooks. She’d come straight from her last class. She had the biggest smile on her face.

  “I’m so glad you’re getting sprung from this joint. I know my mom said no to dating right now, but I want to spend time with you. I miss you!” she came in and sat on the edge of his bed.

  He looked at her face and knew that his news was going to crush her. He glanced over at the letter sitting on the table and then back at her face.

  “Well, about that,” he started.

  She looked at him and could tell that something was worrying him, so she scooted closer and leaned in to give him a kiss.

  He put up his hand to stop her. “Wait, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Embarrassed and caught off guard, she sat back and turned her head away from him as a blush crept up her neck and cheeks.

  “I want to show you this,” he reached over and grabbed the letter. “Read it,” he coaxed.

  She opened the letter and began scanning through its contents. “This is great, you got in!” she smiled.

  “Look at the letterhead for this,” he pointed at the top.

  “Denver School of Design,” she mumbled to herself. “Where is that?” she looked at him confused.

  “Denver,” he sighed, “Colorado.”

  “You’re leaving?” she turned and tears welled in her eyes. “How long have you known about this? When are you going?” her sadness soon turned to anger as she stood from the bed. “I can’t believe you’re telling me this now.”

  Zach hung his head, ”I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out like this. I wanted to give you a proper goodbye.”

  “Proper?” she sobbed. “What, like an email after you were already gone?” she asked incredulously. She stood looking like she was about to crumble as she backed her way to the door. “I have to go,” she mumbled as her back touched it.

  “Katie, we can still keep in touch, but I’m not coming back. There‘s nothing here for me. It’s better this way. I get a fresh start,” he looked at her with so much anguish in his eyes that she had to turn away. “I didn’t want it to end this way, you have to believe me.”

  Katie wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Goodbye Zach.” She turned and walked out the door as sobs wracked her body.

  When she came around the corner, she saw Melanie coming down the hall.

  “You knew,” she pointed at her. “How could you keep this from me, Mom?”

  Melanie grabbed Katie’s arm and pulled her into an elevator. “We’ll talk about this in my office.”

  When they arrived upstairs, Katie stalked in after Melanie and slammed the door.

  “How could you, Mom? You knew he was leaving and you kept it from me!” she shouted.

  “Watch your mouth young lady,” Melanie warned. “Yes, I knew. I found out about this a few days ago. Telling you would have been pointless. He’s going whether you accept it or not. He needs a fresh start. This is his chance to start over.”

  “But Mom, I love him,” Katie sank down on the futon and buried her head in her hands as she continued to cry.

  “You think you love him,” Melanie sighed. “First love is always the most painful to get past, but trust me when I tell you that you will move on from this and there will be many more.” Melanie rubbed her back and pulled Katie against her. “Sometimes…loving someone means letting them go.”

  “Mom, how will I ever tell him goodbye? I don’t want him to leave,” Katie looked up with a tear-streaked face.

  “Tell him what you told me. Tell him how you feel,” she soothed. “But there will be others. You’re too young to be this attached. You’ll find someone else when you least expect it,” Melanie looked her straight in the eyes and wiped the tears from her face.

  “Not reassuring, Mom, I don’t want anyone else. I want him,” she looked at her fingers as she twisted them in her lap.

  “Think about everything Zach’s been through the last week. Think about what his life’s been like. You’ve suffered pain, but I’m sure that Zach’s life has been unbearable at times. Think about what going to this school will mean for him. Think about the opportunity he’s getting. You need to be supportive for him. Show him that you understand why he’s doing what he’s doing. If you’re meant to be, you’ll find each other again.” Melanie stood and walked to the door. “I’ve got to get back to my rounds, you can stay in here as long as you want, just close the door when you’re finished and text me to let me know where you’re going. I know this feels like the end of the world, but it’s not. Give it time.”

  After Melanie had left, Katie leaned over and laid down on the futon. She was not ready to deal with anybody. Her body shook as she continued to cry. She ran the words her mother had stated over and over through her mind. This was a chance of a lifetime for Zach, but why did he have to go somewhere so far away? Once she felt like the tears would stop, she rose to a sitting position. She pulled a mirror out of her purse and glanced at her refection. Her eyes were puffy and red with black streaks under them from where her mascara had run. Her hair was wild from running her hands through it, and as she looked down she realized that her clothes were quite rumpled. Once she had somewhat gotten herself together, she glanced around Melanie’s office. There were tons of pictures of her mom and dad. Katie wondered where most of the pictures from their old apartment in New York had gone. She assumed that Melanie had brought them here.

  Katie got up and wandered around the office. She thought she could feel her heart breaking. She didn’t remember this feeling of pain in her chest, ever. She’d never felt like this over a boy before. How can I get past this? Her mom was right, and she knew that. This was the best move that Zach could make. He’d be away from his dad, be at a great school, and he’d get a fresh start. She needed to show him that she supported his decision. She may be breaking inside, but she needed to be strong for him.

  She sat down at Melanie’s desk and opened up her I Tunes account on the laptop. She was going to show Zach exactly how she felt. She wanted him to understand that even though she’d didn’t want him to leave, she understood why he had to. She knew that she would never get the words out if she tried to talk. She scanned through her play list looking for the he perfect song. When she came across Miley Cyrus’ “I Hope You Find It”, she knew that was the one she was looking for.

  oooooooooooo

  As it downloaded to her I Pod, she thought back to the first time she’d heard it. She was home alone while her mom had worked a late shift at the hospital. She had curled up on the couch in their living room for a marathon of Nicolas Sparks’ movies. The Last Song had made her ball her eyes out, but now as she
looked back, she realized how much this song fit what was going on in her life. When it finished she wiped her eyes, straightened her shoulders, and marched out of the office and back to Zach’s room. She texted her mom and let her know she was stopping by Zach’s room and then going to head home.

  Another soft knock came on his door.

  “Come in,” he sighed.

  When Katie entered, he quickly pulled himself into a sitting position and waited for her to come over. He could see the evidence of her anguish plainly on her face. She looked like she was barely holding it together. She tentatively walked over to his bed and sat right on the edge.

  “I’m sorry I sprung this on you. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way,” he sighed as he reached to trail a finger down the side of her face. “It breaks my heart to see you so upset.”

  “I know, I’m sorry too. I know that this is a good thing that’s happening to you. I guess I’m just not ready to let you go,” she shifted on the bed. “I’ve got something for you,” she pointed at her I Pod. “Here,” she removed the ear buds from her ears and handed them to him. Once he got them in place, he nodded to her. She pushed play on the I Pod and sat back to wait for his reaction. She could hear the sweet words muffled as they drifted into his ears, and she wiped at her eyes as they began to tear up again.

  Zach looked up as his own tears began to fall. He knew that she wanted him to be happy. Even though she didn’t want him to leave, she was going to support his decision.

  When the song finished, Zach removed the ear buds and looked up at Katie. Tears were trickling down his cheeks. She looked just as upset as he did. Her eyes were puffy and she was sniffling.

  “I can put it on yours if you want,” she pointed to his I Pod sitting on the table next to the bed.

  He nodded and opened his arms for her. She moved up the edge of the bed and leaned into his embrace. He grabbed the back of her neck and crashed his mouth into hers. His kiss was demanding. He put all his feelings into it, for he knew this would be the last one. Katie sighed against him and parted her lips as his tongue grazed her lower lip. He deepened the kiss as she leaned farther into him. When the kiss finally broke, she leaned her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

  “Don’t wait on me,” he whispered. “I want you to be happy.”

  “But I love you,” she sobbed.

  “I know you do. I love you too, but don’t wait on me. You deserve to be happy, and if you find someone that can make you as happy as you make me, I want you to move on,” he rubbed her back.

  She lifted her head and nodded to him. She grabbed his I Pod off the table and put it in her pocket. “I’ll download the song to this and give it to my mom to give you when she checks in later,” she dropped her head. She stood from the bed with tears continuing to fall, “Good luck with everything, Zach. I won’t forget you,” she began backing away toward the door.

  “Goodbye Katie,” he whispered.

  “Goodbye,” she choked out as she turned and walked out the door.

  Once in the hallway, she sank to her knees and cried into her arms. This was the hardest thing she’d ever done up to this point in her life. She’d never lost someone that she felt this connected to. This was a completely different feeling than the loss she felt from her father. Zach had a piece of her heart and no matter what anyone said getting it back seemed impossible.

  When she’d finally gotten herself together, she went back to Melanie’s office to fix Zach’s I Pod. She left it on her desk with a note asking her mother to give it to him, then she texted her mom letting her know she was going home.

  ooooooooooo

  As she walked out of the hospital and headed for the subway, she paused and looked up at the sky. I know you’re up there somewhere Daddy. Please watch over him for me. I love him. She shook her head and sighed. I’ll never forget you Zach. Good luck with wherever you end up.

  She trudged to the subway steps and headed home.

  Chapter 14

  December 2012

  It had been two months since Zach had moved to Colorado. He’d been sending Katie emails and called her to say “hi” several times. He was trying to keep in touch like he had promised, but he could tell by the way Katie sounded that she was having a hard time. The more time passed, the more he tried to distance himself from her. He knew in his heart that she was hurting and he wanted her to move on, but she kept begging him to keep in touch. He knew this was a bad idea. He wasn’t planning on coming back, and she still had three years left before she would go away to college. It was a no win situation, and he knew it. He just wished that she would come to terms with it.

  Katie had spent the last several weeks sulking. She’d go to school and come home only to lock herself in her room. She had no interest in going out, or hanging out with Hannah. Melanie was beginning to reach the end of her rope. She knew Katie’s behavior wasn’t healthy and she was ready to use force if necessary to get her back in the land of the living.

  “Katie,” she called as she knocked on the door to the bedroom.

  “What?” Katie grumbled.

  “Can you come out for a minute?” Melanie walked back out into the living room and sat down on the couch.

  Katie dragged herself up off her bed and glanced in the mirror. She groaned when she saw her reflection. Her eyes were puffy from the “all night” cry fest she’d had on the phone with Hannah the night before. She was still wearing her clothes from the previous day, which were now wrinkled and her hair was a wild mass of knots. It was a Saturday and she was planning on spending it like she had the past seven - lying in bed in her pjs, rereading the latest email from Zach. She had a dull ache in her chest every time she thought of him. She wanted to move forward and past the pain, but she couldn’t seem to stop torturing herself. Any morsel of information about him pulled her right back there with him. Don’t wait for me he’d said. I want you to move on and be happy. How could she do that with him contacting her all the time? She walked into the living room and stood with her arms crossed over her chest, frowning at Melanie.

  “What!” she rolled her eyes.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you have to snap out of this. He’s not coming back. You need to get on with your life, Katie. This isn’t healthy,” Melanie pleaded. “I’ve tried to be sympathetic, but it’s been long enough.”

  “I don’t want to get on with my life,” Katie whined. “We still write each other, Mom. I want to be with him, not somebody else.”

  “Katie, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Hannah misses hanging out with you. Your friends miss you. You’re closing yourself off from meeting anybody. Zach would not want you doing this,” she sighed.

  “Are we done now?” Katie flipped her hand in the air.

  “No,” Melanie shook her head. “You’re not laying in bed all day. I want you to get dressed and go shovel off the steps,” she pointed out the window by the front door. “It snowed quite a bit last night and I don’t want them to ice over.”

  “Why can’t you do that?” Katie whined even louder.

  “Because I’m asking you to,” Melanie glared. “I’ve had enough of this behavior from you. If I have to find things for you to do, then I will. Now go bundle up, it’s cold out.”

  Katie turned and walked, grumbling, toward her room, “I don’t know why I have to do this. Why can’t she call Austin, he’d be here in a matter of minutes. She doesn’t understand me. I hate this.” It just kept pouring out of her.

  Just as she was dragging out her heavy snow clothes, her email pinged, alerting her of a new message. Her heart sped up as she flopped down across the bed and smiled. It was from Zach. Hannah had assured her last night that he would write and that she was being foolish worrying about it. This was the first time they’d gone more that a week without talking. “It’s the holidays,” Hannah had explained. “He’s probably just really busy with school.” She opened the email and her face dropped when she saw what it contained
.

  Dear Katie,

  We had a Christmas dance last night here at school. I really wish you could have come with me to celebrate. I was finally able to put weight on my leg. The doctors say I can take the boot off next week. I wanted to say hi, and let you know I mailed a Christmas gift out this morning for you. It should arrive before the holidays. I miss you. I hope you are well. I sent a picture from the dance below.

  See you, Zach

  Katie scanned down the email as anger began to burn in her gut. There was Zach in dress slacks and a button down shirt with his arm around a girl! She began seeing red as tears came to her eyes. She slammed the laptop closed and shoved it off the bed as she stood and began pacing in her room. She was so angry and hurt, she thought she might explode. Her heart thundered in her chest and her fingers trembled when she picked up her cell and began dialing. She wanted to know who the girl was, and why Zach felt the need to rub her face in it. The phone rang a few times before Zach sleepily answered.