The Christmas He Loved Her

by Juliana Stone

  And they were pointed straight at her.

  Jake.

  Did she say his name out loud?

  The world fell away then. All of it. The church. The parishioners. The kids. The baby Jesus, Mary, and Joseph too.

  Slowly she looked up and her heart turned over. Jake’s hair was a disheveled mess, his jaw was darkened with at least two days’ worth of beard, and tiny lines around his eyes showed just how tired he was. But it was what was inside them that had her heart beating like mad. Her face was so hot, she felt scorched.

  “I told you I was coming for you,” he said roughly.

  Raine nodded, the cell still clutched into her hand. “You did.”

  “I love you,” he said and fell to his knee so that his face was level with hers. “I’m not giving you up.”

  “Okay,” she breathed.

  “We’ll work through this.”

  His mouth was a whisper away, and she nodded. Or maybe she spoke. Or maybe she did nothing at all. Her mind was such a mess that she had no clue, and when his large hand cupped her chin and his mouth slid over hers, she could do nothing but lean into the man who was everything to her.

  Before she knew what was happening, Jake slipped his arms behind her neck and under her legs, lifting her up and crushing her to his chest.

  He smelled like winter. Like pine and fresh air. Raine closed her eyes, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she relaxed. He felt like home.

  “Hey Edwards, we’re in the middle of something here, do you mind?” Cain grinned at them from the stage, and Raine’s face went about ten shades darker than it already was when the laughter and whispers grew louder.

  Shit. She was bundled up in Jake’s arms at the front of St. Paul’s during Christmas Eve service with practically the entire town looking on.

  Jake turned and she glanced out at the congregation from beneath lowered lashes. Every single face was turned their way.

  He took a step and paused, cranking his neck until he spied his parents. “I don’t think we’ll be stopping by later, Dad.”

  Steven cleared his throat. “Thanks for letting me know, son.”

  “Merry Christmas, Mom.”

  “You’re going to leave in the middle of the service?” Marnie asked.

  Oh God. Raine’s face flamed about three shades past crimson, especially when she caught sight of Lori Jonesberg’s sly grin.

  “I was thinking about it,” Jake answered. “I don’t need to be in church to give thanks.”

  Raine began to squirm, but his hold tightened.

  “No,” Marnie said softly. “I don’t suppose you do.”

  “Well, if you’re going to leave, Edwards, you best get going, because you’re holding things up.” Cain’s mirth was felt by all, and several rounds of giggles erupted.

  And then they were striding out of the church with every single eye on them until they disappeared from view and Cain’s rich voice broke out in song.

  Jake’s Jeep was parked in front, and she slid into the passenger side, her body shaking from nerves and the cold. There wasn’t one word spoken between them as he drove through the deserted streets of Crystal Lake, though his free hand clutched hers and she held on tightly, not letting go until they pulled into Wyndham Place and then into the driveway that belonged to the stone cottage.

  Jake was out of the Jeep in an instant and had her door flung open before she managed to grab hold of the handle. She slid to her feet, and moments later they were inside the cottage. Raine had left the tree lights on, and the warm glow cast shadows in the corners. Gibson was asleep, and for a moment she stared at the puppy, unsure of what to say or do.

  She shrugged out of her coat and turned to Jake, watching him as he slowly shed his leather coat. He tossed it on the chair beside the door and then stared at her in silence, running his hands through his hair—a nervous gesture—and something about the thick, brown mess got to her.

  She took the few steps between them, reached up, and smoothed the longish waves, her fingers lingering along his jawline as she stared into the eyes of the man she loved. He opened his mouth to speak, but she pressed her fingers there as well, silencing him.

  “I don’t want to hear ‘sorry,’” she whispered, watching the play of light in his eyes. “We’ve both done things that we’re sorry about, and Lord knows there’s a lot for us to talk about, but can it wait? Can we just hold each other and know that things are going to be fine? That our love is enough and all the other stuff is just white noise? I’m just…” She let out a long shuddering breath, her hands slowly caressing his cheek. “I’m just done with all the pain and the guilt. I love you, and right now, in this moment, it’s all that matters.”

  “Sounds good to me,” he whispered, bending low, his mouth sliding across hers with a gentle swipe as his hard, muscled arms pulled her in close.

  For the longest time, they stayed like that, two bodies melted into one, their breaths falling in sync with their hearts.

  Eventually their hearts sped up and their ragged breaths filled the silence of the cottage as mouths slid across flesh, and tongues tasted each other. Jake’s hands ran across her body as if he were seeing it for the first time, and maybe in a way he was.

  Jake slowly undressed her, his eyes reverent, his touch both tender and desperate. When they finally made love in the shadows cast by the Christmas tree, Raine felt him truly break free of the past, as if a bottle had been opened and all the darkness inside him had escaped.

  It was in the way he held her. In the way his hands and eyes touched her.

  And it was in the words he whispered in her ear.

  Later, much later, after they’d made love again and she was snuggled in his warm embrace, Raine couldn’t remember ever feeling so contented. So loved and so cherished. She fell asleep, staring into tobacco-colored eyes that were filled with love and sex and need.

  And the two of them slept for hours, undisturbed. No darkness. No bad dreams. Just plain old exhaustion to carry them through.

  It was nearly nine in the morning when Raine woke abruptly. Gibson was whining at the door, and she carefully extracted herself from Jake’s limbs, rolled out of the blanket, and let the dog out.

  She grabbed a robe and slipped it over her shoulders, setting the coffee machine up while waiting for Gibson to come back inside. It was snowing once more, big fat flakes that fell slowly from the sky—perfect for Christmas morning—and the lightness in her heart felt amazing.

  After letting Gibson back in, she began to hum while cracking eggs into a bowl—French toast sounded mighty good. Raine giggled. She needed an influx of carbs after all the energy she had used up last night.

  She was on her tiptoes, reaching up for little container of cinnamon she’d bought earlier in the week, when two strong, warm arms slid around her waist and tugged her backward. She leaned against Jake’s chest, so content and happy, she was afraid to say or do anything in case the spell broke.

  “Merry Christmas,” he murmured near her ear.

  “Same,” she said softly, her hands cupped over his as they lay against her belly.

  “What are you making?”

  “French toast.”

  “I love French toast.”

  “I know.” She paused and bit her lip, gathering what bit of courage she could find before she turned in his arms. “I need to give you something.”

  Jake’s eyebrows rose and he cursed. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t…I mean, I wasn’t thinking Christmas and presents or anything like that. I don’t have anything for you.”

  “Last night. What you did was the best present I could ever have had.” She moistened her lips and grabbed his hands. “Come with me.”

  After leading him back to the sofa, she crossed over to the mantel, her fingers trembling, her stomach a crazy mess of nerves. But she had to do thi
s. It was time for all the ghosts to go away.

  She saw that Jake knew what was in her hands even before she’d walked back to where he sat. His eyes dimmed a bit and his mouth set into a grim line.

  “Where did you get that?”

  “Lily,” she answered simply.

  Raine held it out and waited while he fought some internal battle, and when he finally reached for the brown box, she felt like she’d just won one of her own. She sat down beside him as he stared down at the box, and she waited.

  She waited at least five minutes, but eventually he opened it up and stared down at the medal. The Bronze Star. The medal he’d been awarded for his heroic acts the day their unit had been attacked. The day Jesse had died and Lily’s brother Blake had been injured.

  For the longest time, he just looked at it, and then his body shuddered as his arms swept around her. He pulled her in close, his mouth near her ear as she slipped onto his lap and just held him. His grip was tight, his pain palpable. But eventually she felt him relax, and a shiver rolled over her skin when he spoke.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” she said softly, stroking his hair. She waited a second and then squirmed out of his arms, smiling when she caught sight of the Rudolph boxers she hadn’t noticed the night before.

  Jake smiled and shrugged. “My mom.”

  Her eyebrow slanted at a devilish angle. “So have you been a good boy for Santa?”

  “I’m a bad boy, remember?”

  Raine nodded, smiling saucily as she reached for the belt that kept her robe closed. “Good. Santa’s helper loves bad boys.”

  She let the robe fall to her feet.

  “Yes, good thing,” he managed to get out before lunging forward and pulling her back onto his lap.

  “We have three hours before your parents expect us for Christmas dinner,” she said in between kisses as his hands skimmed her back and landed on her butt.

  “Three hours? Babe, that gives us enough time to fool around and eat some French toast.”

  She straddled him and reached for the Rudolph boxers. “Good to know,” she whispered and then proceeded to spend exactly two hours and forty-five minutes showing Jake Edwards exactly how much she loved her bad boy.

  ***

  They arrived at Marnie and Steven’s laden with several bags of gifts. And Jake hadn’t been wholly honest. He’d done his share of shopping when he was in Boston, which Lily had been more than happy to help him with.

  He settled against the wall a few feet from the massive Christmas tree in his parents’ family room. His long legs were spread out and Raine was between them, leaning back on him as they watched Lily struggle with the ties on one of the last unopened presents. Gibson rolled onto his belly at her feet, and when she finally freed the package and pulled out an ice-blue silk scarf, she barely got it away from his lunging puppy teeth.

  “Wow, this is lovely.” Lily smiled, her eyes on Raine.

  “I’m glad you like it. It…” The two women stared at each other for several seconds. “It matches your eyes.”

  Lily folded the scarf and was silent. Jake knew she didn’t do real well with this kind of stuff, so he cleared his throat, aware that his parents watched from their perch on the sofa.

  “There’s one more.”

  Lily was closest to the tree and reached for the pale peach-colored bag tucked away near the base.

  “It’s for Raine.”

  Raine squealed like a kid and Jake’s heart caught, suddenly not sure if he’d done the right thing. Shit. He glanced at Lily helplessly. What the hell had he been thinking?

  But Lily wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes and those of his parents were on Raine as she dove into the bag like a small child.

  Her hair swung around her face in a controlled yet mad mess, the waves sexy as they spilled across her cheek. Her skin was flushed, her eyes sparkled, and he knew that if they were alone, he’d have had her out of the jeans and simple red blouse she wore in less than a minute.

  His heart began to beat harder, and Jake sat up. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, and he didn’t realize his fists were clenched so tightly until she glanced up at him.

  He stared into her midnight-blue eyes and slowly things loosened. His hands. His chest. His heart.

  In her palm was a small box. A small box that changed everything.

  Raine slowly made her way back to him. He was aware of the audience watching, but to Jake, in this moment, it felt as if there were only Raine.

  She slid along his thighs until she straddled him, her eyes huge and shiny as if there were unshed tears hanging in the corners.

  For the longest time he just stared at her, drinking in every detail of her face and remembering what it had felt like to hold her the night before. To cuddle her in the morning. To share breakfast and jokes and the shower.

  To be inside her.

  To have her hold his heart.

  “Are you going to open it?” he asked huskily.

  “When did…when did you?”

  “Boston.”

  Her fingers slowly opened the small black box, and she stared down at the simple ring inside. A ring he knew was meant for her as soon as he had seen it. It wasn’t flashy. It wasn’t over-the-top. It was elegant, classy and…

  “Yes,” she said breathlessly.

  Jake smiled. “I didn’t say anything.”

  “I know,” she said and leaned forward, sliding her mouth across his so lightly it made him ache. “But my answer is yes.”

  Jake’s heart felt as if it were going to beat out of his chest. He took the ring and slid it onto her finger, kissing her knuckles and pulling her into his embrace.

  He glanced up at his parents—his mom who was slowly dabbing at the corners of her eyes and his father who was grinning from ear to ear—and he finally felt that he was home.

  This woman he held had given him everything, and he was going to spend the rest of his life giving back to her.

  “O Holy Night” piped through the stereo, while outside the early evening gloom couldn’t hide the brilliance of the snowflakes falling onto the lake.

  Jake was happy. He was content. And he was finally home.

  Pretty much the best Christmas ever.

  Epilogue

  New Year’s Eve…

  The New Year’s Eve party at the Coach House was well under way when Jake and Raine arrived. Maggie and Cain followed them in, along with—surprisingly—Lily. Mac was nowhere to be seen, but then, he’d had a date with a girl from the city. And though he’d assured everyone that he would show up before midnight, Jake wasn’t holding his breath.

  He guided Raine toward the table they’d reserved, in the back corner.

  “Seriously? This is the best you could do?” Lily said drily as she took off her jacket and slid into the booth. She was wearing one of those slinky dresses that did everything to enhance her curves, its metallic shade of silver almost liquid-like. The woman looked as if she were dressed for a club in New York or LA, and with that megawatt little number barely covering her ass, she’d already drawn the eyes of most of the men in the bar.

  Which was ironic, considering she didn’t like to be touched.

  But she sure as hell loved to cause a scene.

  Jake sighed and stared down at her. “Don’t start, St. Clare, you just got here. Which reminds me.” He pulled a bottle of pinot noir from inside his jacket and placed it in front of her. “Don’t let Sal catch you drinking from that, or our asses will be toast.”

  Lily grabbed the bottle and made a face. “I won’t as long as you promise to find me something other than a plastic wineglass, because if you don’t, I’ll be forced to drink straight from the bottle.”

  He glanced down at Raine, saw the amused smile, and reached down to kiss her before heading back to the bar with Cain. T
he women weren’t exactly buddies, but they shared a certain level of respect that hadn’t been there before.

  The Coach House was near to bursting—not surprising, considering Cain had agreed to play a set with Shady Aces. The two of them made their way through the crowd, nodding and waving, and when they finally reached the bar, Cain cracked a grin.

  “Man, it feels like every single person we know is here tonight.”

  “That’s because every single person we know is here tonight, except Mac.” Jake grinned and ordered a round of beers, then paused and shot a look at Cain. “I don’t remember what Maggie drinks. Is she okay with beer, or would she like some of that cheap Cold Duck Sal keeps behind the bar?”

  “Actually, she’ll be drinking water tonight.”

  “Water.”

  Cain nodded, grinning as he shouted at Sal to bring over a bottle of H2O.

  “Water, as in she wants to DD tonight? Or water, as in she can’t drink alcohol.”

  “Water, as in the woman is carrying my child, so don’t be surprised if we have to cut out early because she’s so damn tired all the time.”

  Jake slammed Cain in the shoulder. “Holy shit. Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “I wanted to, but she said to wait a few more weeks.”

  Jake took in the silly-ass grin on Cain’s face and slapped him on the shoulder again. “Congratulations. I won’t say anything.” He couldn’t lie. There was a bit of bittersweet longing in his words. He thought of Raine and what she’d gone through, and even though they’d discussed their future together, having a child was one thing they’d steered clear of.

  Time would heal that wound. He had to believe that.

  “Thanks.” Cain grabbed the water. “We thought that we’d try after I was done recording this record, but obviously the baby had other plans, because Maggie’s almost ten weeks.”

  Jake slipped into the booth, sliding his long length up against Raine, when Lily cocked an eyebrow and stared at the bottle of water in front of Maggie. She glanced up at him, and though he tried like hell to warn her with his eyes, he knew by now that Lily St. Clare moved to the beat of a different drum and pretty much did or said whatever the hell she wanted.