Faith (Stregth Series Book 2)

by T. L. Nicholas

  “I told you there’s nothing there, Jace. Not like that. He just came to be nice. We were together a long time and he really is a nice guy.”

  “Yeah. I hate to agree with you on that, but he does seem okay.”

  I giggle, he sounds so annoyed that Mike is actually a decent person.

  “If it’s not that, what’s wrong? You and mom were in here forever, and then Toni and Alex. I was starting to think something was really wrong. I was going to just come in, but Ben, Chance, and Dad wouldn’t let me.”

  The reminder of why we’re sitting in a women’s bathroom makes me cry again, and his face crumbles as he pulls me to him. I can’t stop though, and he gives up, picking me up and then sitting in the chair himself, with me in his lap. He holds me, stroking my hair, and murmuring in my ear, “Whatever it is, well get through it, Tiny. You’re killing me, Baby. Tell me how to help you. I love you. I love you, Bayleigh.”

  I take a deep breath. “I love you, too, Jace.” He squeezes me tight.

  “What is it, Tiny? Whatever it is, just rip the band aid off. You’re scaring me.”

  I’m afraid what I have to say is going to scare him more. “Okay, but you have to put me down first.”

  “Not a chance.”

  “I don’t want you to drop me when I tell you.”

  He laughs. “Have a little faith, Baby. I will never drop you. No matter what.”

  I lean back so I can see his face, and he looks scared, yes, but solid too. “I don’t know how to say this.”

  He nods. “Then don’t think about it. Just say it into the air. Like you’re saying it to yourself, just do it a little louder so I can hear you.”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  His face goes from scared, to confusion, then shock, and back to confusion again. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “I know what I think I heard, but I’m thinking that must be some wishful thinking or something, so I need you to repeat it.”

  “What do you think I said?”

  He swallows, closing his eyes. When he opens them again, the pain is back. “Bayleigh, if it was just wishful thinking, my mind playing tricks on me, it’s going to hurt you, and I don’t want to do that.”

  The way he’s wording it makes me so happy, I laugh, “Have a little faith, Baby. Now tell me what you heard.”

  He looks resigned to whatever fallout is coming and I almost feel bad. Almost. “I thought you said you’re pregnant, but I know you can’t be, I’m sorry— “

  He looks up, and the words die on his lips as I grin at him. His eyes go wide. “Really? We’re having a baby?” he asks, his voice little more than a whisper.

  When I nod, he pulls me to him, tighter than I think he ever has before. His chin is on my shoulder as he squeezes me. “Oh my God, I didn’t think… I thought I’d never… I love you, Bayleigh.”

  I lean back to tell him I love him too, and he kisses me before I can get a word out. It’s the longest, sweetest, most tender kiss he’s ever given me, and it makes me tear up again. I’ve never been so loved. When he leans back, I see there are tears in his eyes too.

  “Aw. It’s okay, Jace. It’ll be okay,” I say.

  He smiles. “I don’t think anything could ever be wrong again.” His smile is like the sun. “So, I assume you told mom?”

  “Um, not exactly. She told me.”

  “What do you mean?” he asks.

  I explain everything and he laughs. “I know, I’m an idiot.” I say, rolling my eyes, but still smiling.

  “No, you’re not, don’t talk about the mother of my child that way. Jesus, that sounds awesome, doesn’t it? But you’re not an idiot, it just never occurred to you, and it wouldn’t have to me either. We didn’t think it was a possibility. I would have had you at the hospital for the flu in a couple of days.” He laughs.

  “Why? You didn’t even know I was sick.”

  He looks at me shocked, “Of course I did. I heard you, and I wanted to help you, but I thought you’d be embarrassed and I didn’t want you to be. I thought it was just nerves, but I was keeping track in case a doctor was in order. You kept acting like nothing was wrong, so I went with it. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

  “And you didn’t think I was pregnant either? When your mom laid it all out, unprotected sex, no period, sickness, I felt like a moron. Of course, you didn’t know that I missed my period.” I say, feeling stupid again.

  “No, I never thought you were pregnant. They said you couldn’t and I accepted it. And I knew you missed your period, but since we thought you couldn’t have kids, I assumed it was the medications.” He laughs, and heat travels up my neck.

  “How would you know I missed my period?”

  He smiles, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles. “Bayleigh, we’ve been living together for a while, and I’m not that clueless. Even when I wasn’t staying at Chance’s all the time, I was still over there enough that I knew. I told you, I pay attention.”

  His face flushes, and I know he’s embarrassed for admitting that he paid attention for so long, and it makes me feel a little better. “You know what your mom said?”

  “That she’s over the moon because she’s going to be up to three grandbabies less than a year from now?” His eyes widen. “Shit. Alex did tell you she’s having another baby, didn’t she?”

  I laugh, “Yes, she told me, but not before your mom did accidentally. But that’s not what I was talking about.”

  “I don’t know. What did she say?” he asks.

  “She said that you fell in love with me the second I walked through Chance’s door, and it just took you a little while to realize it.”

  He laughs, a full on belly laugh, and I’m mildly insulted and sorry that I said anything. Seeing my face, he stops, tilting my chin so I have to look at him. “She’s wrong. I realized it immediately, it just took me a little while to figure out what to do about it.”

  The rest of the day passed by like a whirlwind. Everyone congratulated us, there’s no way to keep it a secret. At the grave side, I cried for my mother, but I also looked around me. In a very short time, I have acquired two brothers, parents, and I think another best friend. And of course, Jace and the baby. I have a family, a huge one by previous standards and I couldn’t be happier. I am, of course, going to miss my mother no matter how poorly we related to each other. I know now that she did love me, and I am grateful that she thought enough to write it down for me.

  After the funeral, we all went to dinner in the hotel restaurant. They even invited Mike, but he had a date so I wished him well and said goodbye. There are no hard feelings there.

  We’re a loud and raucous bunch, but we all had a fantastic time. It was a sad day, but a happy day as well, and my mood went up and down like a roller coaster. Sharon and Martin will be returning to Tennessee in the morning, along with Alex, Chance, and Cadan. They left Shadow at the house with one of their neighbors who is house sitting. Ben and Toni left for New York right after dinner. Ben said he needed to finish something at Jace’s house before we get there. There was a lot of whispering and planning and Toni seemed absurdly excited about it. It struck me again, how quickly we’ve all meshed together. I found myself hoping, not for the first time, that Toni will plant those roots she was talking about in New York, with us, but I’m trying to keep my hope under control.

  Jace and I are relaxing in the hotel room, my legs across his lap on the couch, just like we did that time at the house. We’re not eating this time though. Instead Jace is combing through doctor listings on his phone. He has a list of them to call in the morning, refusing to make the drive back to New York until I’ve been seen. He’s terrified that there could be something wrong, and so am I, so I’m not arguing with him.

  “If I can’t get you an appointment tomorrow morning, we’re just going to the emergency room,” he says, making me smile.

  “Okay.”

  “I’m serious, Bayleigh, I’m not taking any chances, with you or the bab
y. I just need to know that everything is okay.”

  “I know, and I’m with you. Just don’t get your hopes up about an ultrasound or anything, it’s too early to see anything I think.”

  He smiles, taking my hand and brushing a kiss across my knuckles for probably the fiftieth time today, and I’ve loved every one. “I know. I just want a doctor to tell me it’s safe for me to take you back to New York.”

  “And what if they say it isn’t?” I ask, laughing.

  “Then I’ll look for an apartment here.” He’s serious. Not even the hint of a smile.

  “Jace, Baby, I love you, but I think you’re going to make me crazy,” I say laughing.

  “Probably, but, like you said, you love me, so you’ll forgive me. I love you, that’s why I’m crazy. So, really, it’s your fault.”

  “That is all true. No arguments from me.”

  “Good,” he says, pulling me all the way into his lap, and kissing me. “I think I’m ready for bed, how about you?”

  I wiggle my eyebrows, “Yeah I am. But not to sleep.”

  His face is pained. “Okay, I’m a freak, I admit it, and I’m so sorry, but I can’t. Not until a doctor tells me everything is okay.”

  “What? You’re joking, right? Please. Tell me you’re joking, Jace.” He looks down, saying nothing. “Jace Montgomery Morris, you cannot be expecting me to go through this entire pregnancy with no sex. You can’t get me addicted to you and then cut me off. It’s cruel.” I pout.

  He laughs, “I’m cruel? Do you know how hot you are when you’re pissed? Angry Bayleigh is sexy. But no, that’s not what I’m saying. The only way I would stay away from you that long is if a doctor told me I had to, and then I’d get a second opinion. So, no, it’s just for tonight as far as I know. But feel free to tell me again how addicted to me you are.”

  He stands up, me still in his arms, and I laugh as he carries me to bed.

  We’re sitting in a doctor’s office, while I try to keep my nerves under control. I did manage to keep Jace from taking me to the emergency room, but just barely. We got an appointment here, but we had to wait three days, and had to have bloodwork done yesterday. I’ve had no sex, and trying to keep him from carrying me everywhere is cute, but it puts him way too close to me, far too often, to not be able to get naked and play with him. Yeah, I’m a little bitchy. This stupid paper washcloth they call a gown isn’t making me any happier either.

  Jace is sitting in the chair that he pulled over to the table I’m perched on, smiling serenely every time I look at him. The nervous tapping of his foot gives him away, though.

  The doctor comes in, a petite blonde with hazel eyes. “Good afternoon! So sorry for keeping you waiting. I’m Doctor Norris, and I hear this is a one-time appointment?”

  “Yeah, we live in New York, but we were told she couldn’t have kids, so I’m afraid to take her back until I’m sure everything is okay,” Jace says.

  She looks at him, then smiles wide, “Aren’t you the protective daddy? That’s so sweet, and I really do understand, but I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.” — she turns to me — “Is he driving you crazy yet?” she whispers and I laugh, nodding.

  “Okay, so I’m going to ask you some questions while I check your belly, if you’ll lie back for me,” she says. I do, and she feels my stomach while asking a million questions. I answer them all the best I can, though I have no idea when my last period was and Jace isn’t sure of the date either, but he guesses. “And why were you told you couldn’t have children?” she asks.

  I explain everything that happened, though it makes me feel like a horrible person. She listens quietly, and Jace holds my hand. She doesn’t seem to judge at all, and I feel a little bit better. “I’m very sorry you went through all that.” She says, and she seems sincere.

  “Now, the doctor who told you that, is he an Ob/Gyn, or is he your GP?”

  “GP, but he’s very kind,” I answer.

  “I’m sure he is. I ask because sometimes GP’s will look at an ultrasound or bloodwork or something, and while they are still good doctors, they may not realize just how large fluctuations can be and still be in normal range. From what you’ve said, and how you feel, I’d like to do an ultrasound if that’s okay with you?”

  I look at Jace, and he looks at me. I can see the excitement in his face. “You won’t be able to see anything though, right? It’s only a couple of weeks.”

  “Well, I can’t be sure until I do the ultrasound, but I think you’re about six weeks along. If I’m correct, yes, I will be able to show you the baby’s heartbeat as long as everything is okay, which I believe it is.”

  “Okay. Except I can’t be six weeks, it’s only been around a month since we slept together the first time and it was a long time since I was with anyone before that.”

  She smiles, nodding. “Okay, well let’s just see what we can see. Is that alright?”

  “Yes,” I say. Jace squeezes my hand.

  “Here’s a robe for you, if you’ll put this on and follow me?”

  I do as she says, and we go two rooms down. There’s a table like in the other room, and a huge ultrasound machine. I get on the table, and she turns the monitor towards her, tells me it will be cold, and I lift my shirt so she can squirt the gel on me. I’ve never been so scared. I don’t want to break Jace’s heart. He’s so excited.

  She looks for a long time, it seems like forever, moving the wand around on my belly. I’m afraid she can’t find anything. She keeps hitting buttons and I imagine that she’s trying to zoom in to find even one tiny little speck of life.

  “Okay. I want you to listen,” she says, and flips a switch. I hear a whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, and I’m afraid to hope.

  “That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” she says, and Jace jumps up, hugging me tight.

  “He’s okay?” I ask.

  She smiles, “Well, I don’t know if it’s a boy, it’s too early, but I want you to listen again.”

  Jace stands up straight and we hear the same whooshing as before. We grin at each other, because, well, it’s our baby and he or she has a heartbeat. I remember Alex always talked about Cadan’s heartrate. “What’s his heart rate?” I ask. Not that I’ll know if it’s good or not.

  “This one’s heartrate is one-hundred-three, and this one’s is ninety-nine.”

  “What? How can he have two heart rates?” I ask. Maybe this doctor wasn’t a good choice if she can’t average a heart rate. Jace looks just as confused as I am.

  She flips the screen towards us, and points at a black shape, “This one’s heart rate is the higher one, and this one’s”—she points to another black spot— is the lower heart rate. You’re having two babies, twins.”

  “Are you serious? We’re having twins?” I ask, as Jace grabs me.

  “Oh my God, Bayleigh, I was afraid we wouldn’t have any and we’re having two at once! We’re having twins!”

  She laughs, pushing a button and printing the pictures. “Yes, you are having twins. Congratulations!”

  I’m trying to process it, but I can’t. I really thought she was going to tell me there was nothing there at all. She tells us to meet her back in the other room, reminding us of the room number, and says to take our time.

  “Bayleigh, are you happy, Baby?” Jace asks, kissing me lightly.

  “I think terrified is a better word, but I’m excited. In a I-really-hope-I-don’t-throw-up kind of way.”

  He laughs, picking me up off the table. “That’s okay, Tiny. I’m scared too, but this is so much better than I ever thought it could be.”

  He carries me back to the room, because, apparently, that’s just what he does now. The doctor laughs, and tells me how lucky I am, and I try to remember, but I’m still bitchy. I’m trying to stop, but it’s not working. And now I’m bitchy and terrified.

  Jace puts me down, turning to the doctor, “They’re okay though? They’re healthy? All three of them?”

  Now I’m smiling. It hits
me that now he has three people to worry about and there’s no hesitation on his end at all. He’s scared, but he’s scared of losing us, not of having us, and those are two entirely differently things. I love him so much my heart is going to burst.

  “Yes, sir. They’re just fine. Now, there are slightly higher risks carrying twins, but I feel that they’re minimal for someone as young and healthy as you, Bayleigh. It is really important that you stay up on your care, though, because if anything does happen, you want to catch it early. I see very little scarring, though, and I looked very hard. I really don’t see anything to worry about. Your vitals are fine, the babies look just as they should for six weeks, the bloodwork you had done yesterday looks good, and I’m not worried at this time.”

  There it is. “But I can’t be six weeks. We weren’t sleeping together then.”

  “We calculate age by your last cycle, so we count the two weeks before the egg was fertilized. You are six weeks pregnant, even though the egg was fertilized only four weeks ago. Ultrasound is very accurate.”

  She writes me a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and recommends a doctor she went to school with who happens to have a practice in Binghamton. Jace is visibly relieved.

  “So, it’s okay to take them back to New York?” he asks.

  It’s strange being referred to as ‘them’. I wonder how long it will take to get used to it. I’m three people now.

  “Yes, I see no reason why she can’t travel back to New York.”

  She gathers up her things, tells us she’ll forward our information to the doctor in Binghamton, wishes us good luck, and turns to leave.

  “Wait!” I yell, louder than intended. They both look at me, surprised.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, but… we’re allowed to have sex, right? It won’t hurt anything?”

  She grins. “Yes, I see no reason for you to abstain as long as you’re comfortable, there’s no pain, and no bleeding. If you have pain or bleeding I want you to stop and don’t do it again until the doctor has seen you. It is possible, especially with twins, that later on you will have to stop, but for now? If you feel up to it, go ahead.”