The CEO's Secret Baby

by Karen Whiddon

  “I think so,” she finally answered, well aware her color was high. “What did you have in mind?”

  “There are a bunch of fast-food places on Main, but I’d love to have a good steak. There’s a Texas Land and Cattle. How about there? I can use up the remaining money on this prepaid credit card.”

  “Or I can use one of mine,” she said. “But while that sounds fantastic, is it safe for us to eat out inside at a restaurant?”

  He shrugged. “Should be. Right now, the cartel has no idea where I am. Niwot is halfway between Boulder and Longmont, so I could be in either city, not to mention Denver and all the suburbs. The odds of them running into us aren’t very high.”

  He seemed so nonchalant. Then she remembered—the higher the stake, the more casual Tucker’s demeanor. Which meant the situation was dangerous indeed. She suppressed a shiver. “How high?” she persisted. “I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks with Eli.”

  “Next to zero.” He met her gaze straight on. “I imagine the DEA will be all over that house in Niwot, especially since they lost men. The cartel will be laying low for a while.”

  Showing her fear wouldn’t help. Resolutely she straightened her shoulders and subdued her terror.

  “Then that sounds good.” Forcing a smile, she knew she shouldn’t have felt so depressed at his lighthearted tone. Obviously, despite the passionate kiss they’d shared, she didn’t affect Tucker nearly as strongly as he did her.

  Once again, just like before, even if they were to pursue the attraction between them, their relationship would be uneven. Back then, she’d been aware that she’d loved him more than he loved her. Apparently, that went the same way for desire.

  A good thing, she told herself. Once again proof that she’d made the right choice by choosing Sean.

  Tucker thought he’d explode from trying to hide his desire. The second he’d stepped into the shower, vivid memories of a naked Lucy joining him had assaulted him. The things they’d used to do with the water raining down on them! He’d been so aroused by the time he was done washing himself, that he’d had to turn the water to cold to reduce the size of his massive arousal.

  Worse, she had no idea what she did to him. Or, he reflected grimly, maybe that was all for the best. As long as he could appear indifferent to her charm, he held the upper hand.

  Buckling a drowsy Eli into his infant carrier/car seat, Tucker glanced up to catch her watching him. He couldn’t read the expression in her long-lashed gaze.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked gently.

  “I just wish everything could be normal.” She swallowed hard and he realized she struggled not to cry. “Like it was before you went to Mexico in the first place.”

  “Me, too, Lucy,” he said. “Me, too.”

  They arrived at the restaurant and parked. Once they’d gotten Eli out and removed his car seat to use as a carrier, he insisted on being the one to carry him. How right the three of them together like a family felt never ceased to amaze him. And he wanted this—forever—with a hunger that should have surprised him, but didn’t.

  After all, Lucy didn’t know that one of the things he’d lost when he’d been captured had been a beautiful solitaire diamond ring. When he returned from the coffee-buying expedition to Mexico, he’d planned to ask her to marry him.

  Full, Lucy sat back in her chair and sighed. The meal had been wonderful, reminding her of old times. They’d managed to forget the dangers of their current situation, if only for a little while. And being out in public had helped her regain control of her wayward thoughts and unreasonable desire.

  Ordering fried pickles as an appetizer, they’d had steaks and even shared a dessert. Little Eli had slept through the entire meal, allowing Lucy time to eat and relax. She hadn’t felt so much like a family since Tucker had disappeared.

  And she was happier than she’d been since he’d disappeared.

  So what did that make her? Flighty? A woman who turned from one man to the other, then back again? Was she one of those women who needed a man to feel complete? She didn’t like either of these descriptions.

  She’d been too hasty in accepting Sean’s proposal. Regardless of what happened with Tucker, she needed to end things with Sean at the earliest opportunity.

  By the time they got back to the hotel, darkness had fallen. They’d taken turns changing in the bathroom, Lucy first.

  Once she’d closed the door behind her, she turned on the water full blast, then pressed the on button on her cell phone. Pulling up her contacts, she called Sean.

  He answered on the second ring. “Where the hell are you?”

  “I’m safe,” she said, swallowing hard. “Sean, we need to talk.”

  “Don’t do this,” he said, immediately intuiting what she was about to say.

  “I have to. Sean, I can’t marry you.”

  He cursed. “You’re back together with him.”

  “No. No, I’m not.” Her chest hurt. “Not yet. Maybe not ever. I’m not sure I can go through all that again. But it would be wrong to be engaged to you, knowing…” She couldn’t finish, her eyes filling with sudden tears.

  “I’m second best,” he finished for her, his voice furious and raw. “Once again, that bastard wins.”

  She felt as though by hurting him, she was also ripping her own heart out of her chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “He doesn’t even know I’m calling you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “What now, Lucy?” He practically snarled the words. “What’s going to happen now?”

  Her voice sounded small. “I was hoping we could still be friends.”

  “Friends?” He laughed, a bitter sound. “Seriously, Lucy? You agree to marry me, and then cheat on me two weeks later? Do you really think calling me up and telling me that I’m once again second best would make me want to be your friend?”

  “I haven’t cheated on you.”

  Instead of responding, he ended the call.

  Hating that she’d hurt him and hurting herself, Lucy turned her phone off and stuck it back in the pocket of her jeans, along with her engagement ring. She’d return that to Sean as soon as she could.

  Then she got undressed and put on an oversize T-shirt and shorts. She splashed cold water on her face and blotted it dry. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself and exited the bathroom.

  Keeping her head down to avoid meeting Tucker’s gaze, she hurried to her bed. Climbing into it, she pulled the sheet up to her chin and focused on the TV.

  “My turn,” Tucker said cheerfully, shooting her a curious look before disappearing into the bathroom.

  The instant the door closed behind him, Lucy pulled out her phone again, trying to decide whether or not to call Sean again and try to explain. Assuming he would even talk to her. She couldn’t really blame him for his anger.

  Finally deciding that he needed time to calm down, she placed the phone on her nightstand and focused on the television. If she could somehow fall asleep before Tucker emerged, it would be for the best.

  But, with her emotions running high and her stomach churning, she couldn’t sleep. Instead, she tried to concentrate on watching the television. The crime melodrama was intense and easy to follow and she was glad of the distraction.

  A few minutes later, when Tucker emerged wearing a T-shirt and boxers, her mouth went dry and all rational thought fled.

  Damn. Gazing up through her lashes, she let her eyes roam over him. Tucker. He looked the same—broad shoulders, narrow waist, muscular arms—yet different. There were sharp edges to him now, angles and shadows that hadn’t been there before.

  No matter what he looked like, she knew he’d always be the ultimate male in her eyes.

  She’d thought she could erase him from her memory. Now, she realized no matter how many years passed or how great the distance between them, no other man would ever measure up. And, while she didn’t know whether she and Tucker would be able to get back together again, she knew she’d always love him.r />
  She’d done the right thing, breaking up with Sean. No matter how much she might have hurt him now, she knew she’d rectified the mistake she’d made in accepting his marriage proposal while still in love with another man. In time, she knew Sean would see that, too.

  So where did that leave her? Aching and feeling foolish.

  The television show she’d been watching ended and the early news came on. They both pretended an avid interest as the newscaster announced the latest baseball scores.

  Next, they showed Tucker’s burned-out house in Niwot. The ongoing investigation, according to the newscaster, had focused on a local gang.

  “Local gang?” Lucy asked, incredulous. “Are they for real?”

  “I’m sure that’s the story the DEA is putting out there.”

  The short segment ended and a commercial came on.

  “I’ll try to contact the DEA again first thing in the morning,” Tucker said.

  “No safe house,” she told him firmly.

  “We’ll see,” he answered. “I want to do what’s best for you and Eli.”

  Finally, the news came to an end and Tucker turned the TV off.

  “Good night, Lucy.” His deep voice made her shiver.

  Calling herself all kinds of a fool, it took a moment before she could coherently respond. “Good night.”

  She switched off her bedside lamp first and a moment later Tucker did the same. Rolling on her side, she told herself to get some sleep.

  A moment later, she turned to the other side, unable to get comfortable. Knowing Tucker slept less than ten feet away from her did strange things to her equilibrium.

  To distract herself, she checked on Eli, slumbering soundly in his portable bassinet. As soon as she was able to determine that her baby was fine, she fluffed up her pillow and tried once more to go to sleep. The bedside digital clock showed ten minutes had passed. Then twelve. Fifteen. Twenty-one.

  Tucker. She wanted to go to him, especially if he really meant to send her away tomorrow. Too much time had passed since she’d been able to wrap herself around him and she didn’t know how long they’d be apart this time.

  At the very least, she wanted him to hold her.

  From that single thought, her imagination took flight. They’d always fit well together, as though she were made for him. She ached to feel him inside her again.

  Damn, she was in trouble.

  Lying in the dark with him, side by side in separate beds, while their child slept nearby, her desire intensified, becoming so strong she knew she wouldn’t sleep. Her entire body burned with need.

  In the bed next to her, she judged from Tucker’s ragged breathing that he had the same problem. “Tucker?” she said, then mentally kicked herself for speaking. “Are you—?”

  “Yes, I’m thinking about you,” he said, his voice harsh. “Fantasizing about you. And yes, Lucy, I want you. More than you could ever believe.”

  She gasped as need and desire blossomed through her. So much for careful resolutions and planning. She could no more resist this man than she could stop breathing.

  If that made her a fool, then so be it.

  Chapter 10

  Gathering up all of her nerve, she threw back the covers, got out of bed and crossed the space dividing them. When she reached his bed, she took a deep breath, wondering if she could physically take such a huge leap of faith.

  An entire year had passed. Twelve months of mourning Tucker, missing Tucker. She hadn’t made love to anyone in all that time, including Sean. She simply hadn’t been ready and he’d claimed he understood. Sometimes she’d wondered if her desire had died with Tucker.

  Now, he’d returned and suddenly, every bit of her had come alive. How could she not make love with him now that they were together again?

  Lifting the covers, she froze as he used his hand to grab her arm, effectively keeping her immobile.

  “What about Sean?” he rasped.

  She swallowed, almost afraid to tell him the truth, though she had no reason not to. “Sean and I are no longer engaged. I called him a little while ago and ended it.”

  Still he gripped her tight. “Because?”

  “He’s a good man, Tucker,” she said.

  “I never said he wasn’t. Why did you break off your engagement?”

  Oh, no, she wasn’t going there. “I refuse to cheat on him.”

  “That’s a given.” He massaged her arm with his thumb, relaxing his grip slightly. “You’re not the cheating type.”

  “No,” she said shortly. “I’m not.”

  “But Lucy, there has to be more. Obviously, if you want to be with me, you didn’t love Sean.”

  Then, she understood. Tucker wasn’t the cheating type, either. He wanted to make certain that she wasn’t acting on impulse, going with the spur of the moment. He needed to know for sure that she didn’t truthfully belong with Sean.

  “I never should have accepted his proposal,” she said truthfully. “It would have been better all the way around if we’d stayed friends. I don’t love Sean,” she managed softly. “Not the way I should to have considered marrying him.”

  He went silent for so long she began to wonder if he’d actually dozed off. Except he still held tight to her arm.

  Then she realized he was waiting for her to say something more. Something she wasn’t willing at this moment to say. If he wanted a declaration of love, he wasn’t going to get it. Her private heart would remain exactly that—private.

  Finally, he spoke. “Thank you, Lucy.”

  The calm certainty in his voice pissed her off. “You know what, I’ve changed my mind. Let me go.” She tried unsuccessfully to shake off his grip. “I need to get some sleep.”

  Instead, he yanked her, pulling her on top of him. She gasped sharply as their bodies collided. “Tucker…”

  “Shhhh,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck. “It’ll be all right again.”

  What little resistance she’d managed to muster was rapidly fading. He smelled marvelous, like man and soap and toothpaste. All she could hear was her fast breathing and the equally rapid beat of her heart.

  Turning her head, she let his mouth find hers. Instant electricity blossomed, blowing away any lingering doubts.

  Tucker. Tucker. Tucker.

  As she slid into his bed next to him, the heat vibrating from his body stunned her. Her core responded instantly, tightening.

  He shifted and tucked her up against him, full frontal, allowing her to feel his massive arousal.

  She craved to feel him again, buried deep inside her. Where he belonged.

  Sliding herself, catlike, up the length of him, she let out a cry of pleasure as he moaned.

  Still, he kept himself apart, not impaling her on his hardness, driving her nearly mindless with desire.

  “I want you, Tucker,” she murmured. “Make love to me.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice raw with hunger and need. “You need to be really, really certain. I don’t want you to have regrets, especially about—”

  She silenced him with a kiss before he could say the name. For tonight, she wanted nothing to come between them. She’d deal with the other parts of her life and of his, in the morning.

  Deepening the kiss, she felt the exact instant when his control snapped. Gasping sharply, he shuddered, pushing helplessly against her. By rolling slightly, she was able to position herself and lift, taking him inside her.

  Oh. My. Heaven. Absolute, perfect heaven.

  “Don’t move,” Tucker gritted. “It’s been way too long and I don’t want—”

  Gazing up at him, she let a devilish grin spread over her features before she moved, just the tiniest bit. She felt his body jerk in response.

  “Lucy,” he warned. “I’m serious.”

  She didn’t care. She needed him now, all of him, one hundred percent.

  Starting slowly, she began to move, riding him hard and fast and furious.

  He cried out, arching his back, moving
with her. She murmured wordless endearments as he became her everything; the center of her existence, life and death and rebirth, exploding simultaneously.

  After, they clung to each other, sweaty and sated. She nuzzled his throat, relishing the feel of him, while her heartbeat slowed.

  Lucy couldn’t think of a time recently, except for Eli’s birth, when she’d been happier or more certain. No matter what she gained or lost in this life, this moment proved one absolute truth. Held in this man’s arms, she was whole. There could be no other for her, ever.

  “I wish you could have been there when Eli was born,” she said softly. “His birth was the closest I’ve ever come to experiencing a miracle.”

  Shifting his body slightly, Tucker pulled her closer. “Lucy, did Sean help you through Eli’s birth or did your mom fly in from New York?”

  The edge in his voice told her how difficult this was for him to ask, and also how important.

  “Sean helped me. He took the Lamaze classes and was my breathing coach.”

  Tucker made a sound low in his throat, a sound of pain. They both knew that would have been his place, had he been here.

  “I missed you every single second of my pregnancy,” she told him.

  “And Sean was there to fill in the empty space.”

  “It wasn’t the same,” she hastened to say, touched that he seemed to need reassurance. “I promise you, it wasn’t.”

  “I know, I know. Sean was being a good friend.”

  “That he was,” she admitted quietly. “I can’t fault him there.”

  “But still,” he persisted. “There’s a world of difference from friend to husband. Did you…er, were you and he…intimate?”

  “No,” she shook her head, honestly glad to be able to tell him the truth about something she’d agonized over for months. “I couldn’t. Even kissing him didn’t seem right. It felt sort of like kissing my brother, you know?”

  “Lucy?” He lifted her chin, making her look at him. His blue eyes were dark with both love and pain. “While Sean might have agreed to wait until you two were married, you wouldn’t have been able to postpone it forever. Did you think about that at all?”