Matthew was back with his water, and he took it with a soft thank you, letting his fingers brush against Matthew’s. The young man shuddered, his lips parting on a small gasp. Still, he managed to place the remaining water gently in front of Hugh.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Sir.”
The title slipped out naturally, and Matthew glanced around, clearly nervous.
“Relax, Matthew. It’s all good.” Hugh looked pointedly around him at the near-empty restaurant and smiled, trying to help Matthew calm down. “Everything’s okay.”
Matthew’s eyes followed Hugh’s motion and he visibly relaxed. Then he nodded and offered a timid smile in return. “Please let me know if you need anything else, Sir.”
There was less awkwardness in saying the title this time. Hugh watched Matthew retreat to his station, a spring to his step, and he pursed his lips, fighting the impending grin. It looked like he wasn’t the only one excited at the prospect of their date.
Chapter 5
“I want you to tell me why you were so stressed when I showed up at your place of work?”
Matthew diverted his eyes, shifting on his feet.
“You can tell me.”
Hugh watched him worrying at his lower lip, thinking, so he remained silent, giving him time and space to decide if he wanted to share that information. For Hugh, Matthew’s decision would set the tone for the relationship.
“I was afraid you’d come there to out me.”
Shock rendered Hugh speechless and it took all his willpower to push through it. “You thought…” He paused, trying to get his thoughts together, then continued. “You thought I was outing you?”
Matthew nodded, but he still wouldn’t meet Hugh’s eyes.
“Matthew. Look at me.” He put a bit of command behind his words, while still keeping it casual.
Matthew visibly jerked, and Hugh could see his struggle. Finally, he lifted his gaze, a defiant look in his eyes. “You asked me what I thought.”
Hugh took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “I did. And I appreciate your sincerity.”
Matthew grunted.
“Please know this doesn’t change my opinion of you in any way. Nor is it making me reconsider asking you on a date. May I take your hand?”
Matthew nodded. Hugh reached for Matthew, making sure to move slowly, allowing him time to pull back if he changed his mind. When Matthew remained still, Hugh wrapped his fingers around Matthew’s. Excitement shot through him, his stomach lurching.
God, he was in his thirties, not a young man easily impressed. And yet he couldn’t deny the attraction. Running his thumb over Matthew’s knuckles, he savored the little twitch the digits gave in his hold and the way Matthew’s lips parted around a silent gasp. Maybe Matthew wasn’t immune either.
“Is there something I’ve done or said to make you think I’d do something as horrible as to out you?”
A blush colored Matthew’s cheeks. He shook his head, glancing to the side.
“Why, then?”
When Matthew remained silent, Hugh probed further. “Matthew? You can tell me anything.”
Yet, despite the little nod he gave, the sub remained silent.
“Is this your go-to response?” Hugh kept his voice soft, careful to remove any emotion from his tone. Any slip, and Matthew would take it as a criticism.
There was no reply from Matthew, but Hugh hadn’t expected one. Even getting this far with him was good enough. And maybe, in time, Matthew would open up to him more. He squeezed Matthew’s hand reassuringly.
“Let me promise you that I will do my very best to be worthy of your trust.”
Matthew’s eyes widened, his jaw hanging open.
“Do you understand?”
There was a nod.
“Now, shall we go to the movies?”
“Yes. Sir.” The title was like an afterthought.
“You don’t have to call me Sir all the time. You will use it during our private time, and whenever you feel the need, but know that I don’t expect you to do so in public, at your work, or anywhere else that might out or compromise you.”
Matthew’s relief was visible. “What should I call you, then?”
“How about Hugh? That’s my name, after all.”
“Hugh.”
Hugh’s stomach took a dive the moment he heard his name rolling from Matthew’s lips.
“See? It’s not that bad, is it?”
****
Staring at the huge screen in the theater hall, Matthew was happy for the darkness. Despite having been the one to chose the movie, he couldn’t tell a single thing that was happening on screen. The only thing he could focus on was Sir Spencer’s arm less than an inch from his. Every few seconds, he had to fight the twitching in his fingers urging him to close the distance and touch Sir. But he didn’t dare. His stomach fluttered, full of butterflies, as two opposite sides fought inside his mind.
On the one hand, it was his submissive side that wanted nothing more than to kneel at Sir’s feet. On the other, there was his human side, the one that craved human contact and a meaningful relationship. And he wanted it all with the man sitting beside him.
Hugh. He said the name in his head, trying to silently sound it. Could he actually say it out loud? He could understand the need to use the name over the title at times, but the title felt so natural to him it would be hard for him to adapt. Maybe if he used the name during regular interactions and the title during scenes?
Biting his lips to contain the rising groan, he fought to unclench his muscles. How the hell could they mix submission with a real relationship? Sure, he knew there were couples out there who managed to do it, but none of those subs were looking for Masters, only Doms, and to him, that was a huge difference. That was one of the reasons he’d decided to use The Dungeon’s services in the first place.
But now, with Sir Spencer, Hugh, here at his side, he was contemplating having it all. Then he remembered this was only their first date and it very well might not work out in the end. His stomach took a dive, only to lurch again when he glanced to the side to find Sir still there. Maybe there was hope.
****
“Care to tell me what had you so worked up during the movie?”
Hugh had waited for Matthew to set the menu aside before he started his questioning. He watched the young man worry at his lower lip and smiled to himself. It looked so adorable on Matthew. Plus, he liked getting to know Matthew so well he could predict his reactions.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t pick up on that.”
“It’s my job to.”
With time, he hoped Matthew would come to trust him enough to open up without prompting, but until then, Hugh knew he had to rely on his experience to pick out everything that might cross his sub’s mind. The fact that he’d started thinking of Matthew in those terms at this point in their relationship brought him some concern, but that was something he’d have to deal with in private. Matthew required his full attention for now.
Matthew’s face fell.
“You misunderstand me. I’m not here as your Master at The Dungeon. I’m here as your date—hopefully more, if you’d be interested.” He paused, giving Matthew time to process. He waited until Matthew nodded his understanding before continuing. “What I meant when I said that it’s my job is that, as a Master, I need to care for you, and that means I have to be aware of your feelings.”
“Oh.” Excitement lit up Matthew’s face and he broke out in a large smile. “Thank you.”
“May I ask you something?”
Eyes widening, Matthew dry swallowed. “Sure.”
“I know this is only our first date, but I want to know if you’d be interested in more.”
Matthew’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down some more and his tongue peeked out as he wet his lips. “More what?”
It was Hugh’s time to pause to gather his thoughts. “Fair question. I like you. I like the way you react to me when
we play and I’d love to get to know you better on all levels.”
“How would that work?”
“First, I would take you on a second date. If you agree, that is.”
“I’d love to.”
“That’s settled, then. When is your next free evening?”
“I work mornings for the next two weeks, so I’m pretty much available every day.”
“All right. Let me check my schedule and I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I want to ask you to think about what you want from me and our relationship.”
Surprise flashed over Matthew’s face.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Hugh smiled at the title, happy to see Matthew reacting to the command and the change in pace.
“May I ask you something, Sir?”
“Ask away.”
“Will you do the same for me?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, shall we order?”
Tension drained away from Matthew, his eyes twinkling. “Yes, please.” As Hugh set aside his menu, Matthew added, “I’m starving. I didn’t eat today.”
Hugh frowned. “Why?”
“I was too stressed.”
“That is something I don’t want you to do again. From now on, you will start taking care of yourself. You will eat properly, you will make sure to get enough sleep through the night.” When Matthew didn’t answer, Hugh added in a sterner tone, “Is that clear?”
Recognizing the tone for what it was, Matthew’s pupils widened, a blush coloring his cheeks. “Yes, Sir.”
“I want a daily update on your progress,” Hugh added as an afterthought. “This will give you a taste of what a relationship with me would be like.”
Matthew broke into a grin. “Yes, Sir.”
The waiter walked up to them. “My name is Andre and I’ll be your server tonight. Are you ready to order?”
“Hi, Andre. Nice to meet you. Just a second, if you don’t mind.” Hugh smiled at waiter, but his attention remained on the man sitting in front of him. “Matthew? Are you ready?”
“Yes, S... Yes.” He recovered from his slip and managed to look apologetic. “I’d like some paella, please.” He rattled out the order to Andre, but addressed it to Hugh.
“So, that would be the paella for my friend and the sea bass with potatoes and asparagus for me.”
Now, Hugh hadn’t seen this coming. He’d expected Matthew to chose something red-meat based, not fish, but he loved the surprise. Getting to know the young man was going to be interesting.
“What about drinks?”
Hugh gestured to Matthew, silently inviting him to answer. He could have picked something for both of them, but he wanted to see what would Matthew chose.
“I’d love a lemonade, if you have it.” The waiter hit the pad a couple of times, nodding.
“Same here.”
He tapped some more. “Absolutely. Anything else I can get you?”
Matthew shook his head.
“No, we’re good, thank you.” Hugh waited for Andre to leave, then turned back to his date. “No alcohol?”
“Nope. Not for me. But you should have ordered some if you wanted to. It doesn’t bother me if you drink.”
Hugh narrowed his eyes at him. There was something there. “No, I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I prefer to focus my entire attention on you, and alcohol tends to dull the senses and decrease reaction time. Why aren’t you drinking?”
“I don’t drink.”
So he was right, there was something there.
“Never?” At Matthew shaking his head, Hugh pressed further. “Why?”
“My father drank. Heavily. So did his father.”
“Oh.”
“No, it wasn’t like that. He never hit me or anything, but his drinking made for a tense atmosphere. I watched him down glass after glass and become sulkier and sulkier. It made me realize that wasn’t something I wanted to copy. So I swore off alcohol completely.”
“I see.”
Matthew sighed. “No, you don’t. Most people don’t.”
“I’m not most people. But why do you think I don’t?”
“Because I’ve always had to defend my choice. Sometimes it feels like it’s easier to come out of the closet than explain why I don’t drink.”
Hugh snickered under his breath. “I guess I can see that.”
The rest of the dinner passed in comfortable conversation. Matthew relaxed more and more, his personality peeking through. Hugh leaned back and listened to Matthew talking about his childhood.
Dessert came, and Matthew dug into his lemon cake. Hugh played with his coffee, swirling it around in the cup.
“May I ask you a question?”
“Of course, Si…I mean Hugh.”
“What do you want out of a relationship? Out of a possible us?”
“I..,umm… I haven’t really thought about it.”
“I can understand that. But I want you to give it some thought. Until you do, I’d like to see you again. Another date. Would you like that?”
Matthew’s eyes widened. “Yes.” The answer came out a little breathless, as if he couldn’t believe the question. “I’d like to.”
“In that case, I’d love to spend your next evening off with you.”
****
Closing the door behind Sir, Matthew sighed. When Sir had offered to take him home, he’d both hoped and feared Sir might want more. But no. They’d reached Matthew’s apartment and Sir had stopped. Stomach fluttering, Matthew had waited for a goodnight kiss. But Sir had only smiled and bid him goodnight, leaving Matthew to stare after him.
Throwing the lock, Matthew fought the need to pace. It wouldn’t do. Just because he was disappointed at the absence of a kiss, it didn’t mean he had to give in to his need to project his distress. Instead, he went to his bedroom, changed into a pair of sweats and climbed on the treadmill. It helped him clear his head and kept him in shape.
He snorted to himself. With the homework he gotten from Sir, he’d get so much into shape he might as well attend some competitions or something.
When the speed he usually used failed to bring the peace he sought, he stepped up his game.
How was he supposed to define to Sir what he wanted from a relationship when he didn’t know for himself? The only certainty was the fact that, with Sir Spencer, he could allow himself to dream big. For once, he could afford to be himself and not fear he’d be judged for his preferences.
But how could you put something into words when you could have everything? He played the evening back in his mind, and the more he did, the more his hopes soared. He let himself enjoy it, taste it. Just hope. But Sir was right. If he wanted this to work, he had to make it clear. For both of them.
Settling into a rhythm, he felt his emotion simmer to a low burn, allowing him to think properly. With the pressure weighing him down gone, he knew he had to separate the two aspects so he could get to the bottom of it. If he allowed himself a snicker at the word “bottom,” there was no one around to hear it.
The physical part was easy. Sir Spencer was hot as fuck, with that geeky look and the British accent. Oh hell, that accent was to die for. Arousal rising, he missed a step and had to slow his rhythm to catch up. Oh, he would have no problems in that regard.
And that left the kink and how to bring that together with the physical attraction.
Sighing, he let his eyes drift closed for a moment. When his stride faltered, he opened them again and focused on the run. Back in the groove, he returned to the matter at hand. What did he want from a relationship with Sir Spencer? If it was the vanilla kind of relationship, it would be a no-brainer. Go on a few dates, get laid, find something missing, then break up. But this was something else entirely.
For one thing, there was the way he thought of Sir Spencer. Matthew winced. Like the constant use of that title, for instance. He saw
the man as his Master, and not only for his position at The Dungeon. Everything about Sir Spencer screamed Dominant: his posture, his tone, his gestures. But could he look beneath all that and find the man behind the Master?
On the other hand, he wanted Sir to see beyond the submissive part of his own personality. Why couldn’t he try to do the same thing with Sir Hugh. Sir Hugh. It sounded more intimate. More hopeful.
And sex and kink might be great. The right kind of kink, of course, and he was sure Sir Hugh would give that to him. Breaking into a grin, he tilted his head mischievously. That was one of the things that had always been missing in his previous relationships.
While he didn’t want to get ahead of himself, he couldn’t stop himself from picturing how it might be.
Chapter 6
“Did you think about what you want from us?”
In fact, that was the only thing Matthew could think of. “I have, Sir.”
“Tell me.” Hugh’s voice left no room to maneuver.
Matthew swallowed his anxiety. He dropped his gaze to the floor, making it easier to concentrate. “I want.” Matthew paused. God, saying want felt so weird. “You already know what I like and what are my boundaries. You have all of that in that file at the club. But what I want is to belong. That is one of the things The Dungeon can’t help with. Sure, the community, the staff are great. But I want everything. D/s, sex, and hopefully feelings too.” God, did I really say that out loud?
Hugh smiled. “And you think I can give them all to you?”
“Yes.” Matthew hesitated, lifting his eyes to meet Hugh’s. “Though I don’t know how it will work.”
“May I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Have you ever been in a relationship revolving around a D/s dynamic? Or at least one that had a kinky component?”
A Master for Matthew (The Dungeon Book 6) Page 4