Let Slip The Princesses of War

by David Schenck

  “Oh,” I began, “Thank you but I don’t need any…”

  But I never finished as Cinderella jumped in. “We would be delighted to be your guests for the night.”

  “Absolutely” Added Pea.

  “The Princess Emily agrees!” Said Emily in her most regal voice.

  So, we agreed to stay the night.

  And it was a fun night. Tom told us stories into the late hours and it was deep dark and the fire had burned low before he showed us to our room. Mindful of the last time we slept in a house, we opted to share one room rather than split up. Tom found us a room with four big beds and said goodnight.

  “Just a final word. This is a funny old house, just like its master. Pay no heed to any odd sounds you hear in the night. All is safe in Tom’s house.”

  We all called goodnight and he left. Pea placed her feather beneath her back and was asleep in seconds. As were we all.

  I woke in the night to strange sounds. I pushed myself up on my elbows and saw Emily snuggled up with Pea, so it took me a moment to notice that there were two empty beds. Where the fuck was Cindy?

  I got out of bed and put on my boots, and quietly slipped out. Pea really must be sleeping deep if she didn’t wake. I hoped this feather wouldn’t make her a worse patrol partner.

  Or maybe it was something in the air in Tom’s valley, because Ben didn’t stir either.

  I followed the noise. It was odd, but oddly familiar. I wandered the halls of Tom’s house for some time, always thinking the source was just around the corner but never quite finding it. Then suddenly it stopped. I found myself in the main hall, and not feeling sleepy I helped myself to a glass of wine. I was sitting on one of the settees in the fire-lit hall, when Cinderella snuck through, holding her glass boots in her hands. I coughed and she nearly jumped to the roof!

  “Fuck Rae! You scared the piss out of me!”

  “Whatcha doin’ Cindy?”

  She stammered and sputtered, but then I got a good look at her. The rumpled ball gown, the disheveled hair, the boots in her hand! “Oh my fucking gad! You? And Tom? Are you fucking kidding me!?”

  Cindy plopped down on the settee beside me and took a sip from my wine and gave me a smile. “He’s still spry!” and we both erupted into laughter.

  CHAPTER

  9

  Cinderella eventually went back to Tom’s room and I returned to our room. When Emily and Pea woke up and saw Cinderella’s empty bed, I explained that she had gotten up early to train and would see us at breakfast.

  “She’s training without me!?” Emily was indignant.

  But Pea saw her opening. “That’s OK. We never did get a chance to teach you about shooting. What’d you say, you and I head outside for a little gun safety and target practice?”

  “Oh! Yes! I want to!” Emily grabbed Pea by the hand and practically dragged her out the door. Pea came back a few moments later for the gun.

  “Cindy got up early to train, eh? Can’t say I remember her getting up early to train before. Not even during, you know, training.”

  “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. You can ask her yourself, but not with Emily around.”

  “Hell Rae, I know that.” And she took the gun and left.

  Ben and I wandered down to the main hall. The fire was still burning, but nobody was around, so I helped myself to some wine, and listened to the soothing sounds of small arms fire out front.

  Tom came by before too long.

  “Good morning, Queen Rapunzel.”

  “Morning Tom.”

  “I hope you slept well.”

  “I imagine I got a bit more sleep than you.”

  He smiled widely and his ears turned red. I’ve never seen a god blush before.

  “Princess Cinderella will probably sleep another hour or so, and I can hear that my other guests are occupied, so we have time for a walk in the garden before breakfast, if you’d like. I’ve got something I’d like to show you.”

  I really didn’t want any kind of gift, but I remembered what Pea had said about following the story where it leads, and well, Tom just looked so friendly and eager.

  “I’d love a little constitutional before breakfast. Lead on.” I got to my feet and followed him, I looked at Ben to see if he wanted to come, but he just stayed where he was in front of the fire. Tom took me out a side door that led directly to a charming garden. The plants in the garden were wild and it’s hard to say what exactly made it a garden, maybe just Tom calling it a garden. But it was definitely a garden and not wilderness.

  As we walked, Tom pointed out various plant to me. He knew them all by name and often shared a story related to each.

  We walked down to the river’s edge.

  “This is the Goldenberry bush.”

  It was a slender bush, covered with varicolored leaves and with shimmering emerald bark. On a branch in the center of the bush was a single golden berry. It’s hard to put into words, but it was beautiful. I felt calm and peaceful and like I wanted to spend the rest of my life just sitting on the riverbank in the company of the Goldenberry.

  Tom approached the Goldenberry and stroked it lovingly. “The Goldenberry is my greatest joy and my greatest sorrow. It’s a lesson to me about the pleasures and pains of loving those who must one day die. Even this Goldenberry is not the original, but a daughter many many generations removed from my one true love.” He touched the Goldenberry lightly with a finger and it seemed to make a soft keening sound.

  “It grows only here,” he continued, “beside this river which gave it life. Each Goldenberry, bears but a single fruit, and when that fruit is plucked or falls, the bush dies. Later it’s reborn, not the same, never the same, but still good. Still beautiful.”

  He plucked the berry and I gasped in horror at the idea that he had just killed this beautiful bush.

  He held the berry in his palm. “This is my gift to you. Her gift to you. She wanted you to have it. She paid the price willingly.”

  “It’s beautiful.” I breathed. Afraid to touch it, unable to take my eyes off it.

  “The gift of the Goldenberry is the gift of clarity of vision. Not of the world without, but of the world within. Eat this fruit and you will see yourself, understand yourself, as you truly are. Stripped of pretense and illusion.”

  “I’m not sure I want to. I’m almost certain I don’t.”

  Tom smiled. “Eating this berry has killed many. Those who could not withstand themselves, understand themselves, but I think, for you, it could offer a release. Relief from guilt and pain.”

  I shook my head. “No. Guilt and pain are all I have. They’re what keep me going, keep me fighting. Without them, who would avenge my children?” I was almost shouting now. “You keep it. Maybe I’ll come back for it. After the war. After she is dead.” I said the last part almost as a whisper.

  Tom took a pretty silk handkerchief from one of his pockets and carefully wrapped it up. “Many people plan on returning to my valley, most do not. Most die, as people do. It would be better if you took it with you. Still,” With a wink, he tossed the wrapped berry into the air. It was silhouetted for a moment against the morning sun and then vanished. “I can’t force it on you.”

  He stroked the bush lovingly. It was a little less bright, less lively, less alive. I was filled with sadness. I wished I hadn’t come. I felt a tear break out. Tom brushed it away and took my hand and we walked back to the house. As we walked, I felt the heat of his hand in mine, the warmth of the sun and the cool of the breeze. By the time we reached the house, the sadness had left me and I remembered only the beauty of the little bush and its golden fruit.

  The others were waiting for us at the table. Cinderella looking tired and happy, Sweet Pea looking rested and happy and Emily smelling of smoke and powder and happy. So, it was a happy breakfast and we all ate our fill.

  We were a sadder group a few hours later as we loaded our horses and prepared to leave. Our time in Tom’s valley had felt like a respite from eve
rything. But, now we were heading back. I knew Tom was right, we would all like to return one day but we would probably just do what people do and die.

  He led us up the mountain, looking a bit ridiculous, tall thin Tom, on his short fat little pony. He stopped after a while and dismounted. We all dismounted too, this would be our goodbye. I took one last look at the valley, I knew in my heart that I would never see it again. Or Tom.

  Tom lifted Emily and kissed her on her cheek. “Princess, your kingdom awaits your return and it will be a sadder place while you are away. I also have a last parting gift for one of your company. Ben, come talk with me.” He treated Ben just like a person and Ben walked over to Tom and Tom bent down and whispered something in his ear. I wished I could know what he was saying, but even if Ben understood, he couldn’t tell me.

  He gave me and Pea a couple of cheek pecks and Cinderella a longer kiss. Then grabbing a piece of the world, he lifted a flap.

  “I’ve taken you to the edge of the Great Forest, the edge of my lands. Mallory’s territory is just a few yards ahead.”

  We passed through the flap between worlds, between peace and war. As the flap of the world closed and Tom disappeared I felt a sudden sharp pain on my right thigh. Reflexively, I slapped my hand down on the pain and I felt something in my pocket. I reached in and pulled out the Goldenberry, still wrapped in its silk covering. Sneaky bastard! Well, he can make me take it with me, but he can’t make me eat it!

  CHAPTER 10

  We stood at the edge of the forest. The trees thinned out a few yards ahead and passed into a field of tall grass.

  “Well,” I told them, “that was lovely, but it’s time to get back to work. Pea, why don’t you go take a look ahead and get us some idea what we’re facing?”

  Pea saluted, as usual, with her bottle, and took off through the trees. We watched her until she reached the edge of the trees and then lost sight as she crouched down to hide in the grass.

  We waited in silence, even Emily and Ben, each lost in our own thoughts, trying to hold on to the tranquility of Tom’s valley.

  Pea returned about an hour later. “You won’t believe what I saw. We’re about a mile east of the old King’s Road, but between us and the road is a village.”

  “I know it.” I interrupted. “Carn Brea, it was a lovely little village. I assume it’s nothing but ashes and ruins now.”

  “No! That’s the thing! It’s still kind of a lovely little village, only now it’s full of Mallory’s creatures. Mostly Goblins, but also Ogres, and Trolls, and Orcs! And that’s not all! There’re people there too! Enslaved, in chains, working in the fields.

  I was stunned! I had expected that Mallory’s lands would be, basically, a blasted desolate waste, devoid of everything but her armies of monsters. To learn that some of my people survived, only to be enslaved, was like a knife to the stomach. It was another reminder for how powerless I was to help those I loved.

  I wanted to ride into that village and kill every one of Mallory’s monsters and free those people. But then what? They couldn’t pass back through the forest and we couldn’t take them with us.

  “Ok,” I finally said, “So, what’s out best course of action? We have to follow the King’s Road to my tower so, we have to cover the mile of field to the road and then the 45 miles of road to the tower without getting caught. If there are villages, that’s going to mean commerce and traffic on the road.” I gestured at us, “We’re not exactly inconspicuous.”

  “I’ve got an idea.” Said Cinderella.

  And, so, an hour and a half later three goblin merchants and their human servant girl rode out of the forest, thanks to Cinderella’s giant box of makeup and its endless supply of green eye shadow and false finger nails.

  We rode the rest of the afternoon without incident. We passed a small troop of goblin solders, but we kept our hoods up and they barely even looked at us.

  That night we camped off the road a ways and Cinderella was able to make the tent look like just a regular tent.

  The next morning we had covered, maybe, ten miles when we ran into a roadblock. It was manned by a group of thirteen or fourteen ogres. They may have been soldiers, or just bandits, it was hard to tell. They all dressed more or less alike, but not in anything you would call a uniform. They seemed pretty officious, but I don’t have enough experience with ogres to know if that’s just what they’re like. I’ve killed my share, but killing them doesn’t really give you much of a sense of what they’re like personality-wise.

  We sent Pea out to talk with them because she does the best goblin accent.

  Cinderella and Emily and I stayed back. There was no point giving them three chances to figure out that we weren’t real goblins. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but it seemed to be going fine and after a few minutes, they opened the barricade and Pea waved us through.

  But as Cinderella passed by, one of the ogres made a grab at Emily. Cindy had her sword out and sliced off his hand before he even touched her. Then it was killing time. Holding Emily meant that Cinderella had to stay out of the fight. So, she spurred her horse forward and pushed through the partially open barricade while Pea and I dealt with the ogres. Ogres are strong but slow. They’re tough to kill with a sword, because they have thick skin (Cinderella’s flaming sword was, clearly, special) and because their organs are, generally, better shielded by bone than human organs. But their brains are in their heads, just like everyone else’s, so a bullet in the eye is, generally, a killing shot. And Pea never misses. You might think a whip would be of relatively little use, with their thick necks, but, they tend to breathe through their mouths, so I can just send my whip down the throat and rip out the organs from the inside.

  Five minutes later we had a road full of dead ogres.

  “Pea, give me a hand and let’s pull these ogres off the road a bit. Cinderella, you guard Emily and get your mice maids to do something about the blood on the road. Let’s try to keep Mallory in the dark about our exact position at least a little longer.”

  Mock salutes all around, but everyone got to work. Pea and I tied the corpses together with my whip and used the horses to pull them into the field. Then we did our best to hide them from sight. It wasn’t perfect, but a casual passerby wasn’t likely to see anything.

  When we got back to the road, we found that Cindy had killed a passing goblin, so I dragged him off the road too. Then when I returned, they’d killed a pair of trolls, and I had to drag them into the field too. Still, somehow, the thing got finished at last, without much loss of temper.

  By now the sun was at midday. “Ok, it’s about noon now. We should be able to reach the tower by late afternoon if we push the horses, and Ben, a little. I think it would be best to wait until full dark to attempt any kind of rescue, but I’d like to have an hour or two of daylight to scout the situation.” Nobody objected, so Pea passed round some bread and dried fruit and we had a riding lunch.

  It took longer than I’d hoped, and of course the tower was a few miles off the road and that was slower going and we needed to be careful and quiet. So, we reached the tower just as the sun was setting.

  This wasn’t the first time I’d been back to the tower. When I was queen here, I’d visited a couple of times, the twins liked to see it. But it never failed to move me, even now, after all this time and after all that had passed. I’m not sure in which direction it moved me, but move me it did.

  We split up to scout the defenses quickly, and when we met back at the starting point, everybody reported the same thing. “Nothing.” Said Pea, “Not a single guard, no signs of dragons, just nothing.”

  “Did you notice the window?” I asked them.

  Cinderella nodded. “Open, no bars. It’s like she’s NOT holding the most dangerous woman in the eleven kingdoms. It’s like she’s hoping Beauty will escape.”

  “Or it’s a trap.” Pointed out Pea.

  “Or it’s a trap.” I agreed. “Ok, let’s set up camp where we won’t be seen and we�
�ll wait for dark then I’ll go up there and find out which it is.”

  “You can’t go up there alone!” objected Sweet Pea. “I’ll go with you and Cinderella can watch Emily.”

  “Emily can watch herself!” Added Emily.

  “Yeah, Emily can watch herself in the tent, with Ben. She can watch Ben.” Cinderella never missed an opportunity to boost Emily.

  “Well, first, thanks. I appreciate the offers, but secondly and more importantly, I’m going up alone.” I held up my hand as they started to protest. “I’m going alone, because I have to. My hair is the only way up. So, I have to go first. It won’t let you up if I’m not there holding it. That’s just how it works. And once I’m up, either there really are no guards and Beauty and I will just swing down, or, more likely, there are guards and I’ll be too busy with the guards to escort you guys up the tower. There is a reason Mallory put Beauty in my tower. It’s a secure prison. Besides, Beauty and I, we get along.”

  Cinderella gasped in surprise. “Rapunzel! You’re a Beautyist! I never imagined!”

  I shrugged, “We were just friendly. I leave politics to the politicians.”

  “Politics to the politicians? You’re a gad dammed queen, you’re a fucking politician!”

  We set up camp and waited for dark. About an hour before midnight, I drained my cup (just water, I’m not like Pea, I need to be sober for a fight), and stood up. “Well, I better get going.”