Desert God

by Wilbur Smith

‘Please continue with what you were about to say, Taita darling. I have promised that I shall not interrupt you.’

  ‘Thank you, Your Royal Highness.’ I hesitated. Was there any way at all that I could avoid a confrontation? I wondered. Of course there was. I was the bearer of the pharaonic hawk seal. I spoke with the voice of a king. Nobody would dare defy me, would they? I gathered my courage.

  ‘My lord and gentlemen, I have spoken with Al Namjoo our guide, and with Condos the Head Keeper of the Royal Stables. They have both agreed with me that our party is too numerous to abide here at the Miyah Keiv any longer. I remind you that we have over three hundred horses and camels, quite apart from our men and the royal ladies. At the rate that we are consuming it, within the next few days the water in the cavern will be entirely expended. As you will all agree, this would be disastrous.’

  ‘Of course! No question about it; we have to move on.’ As he voiced his agreement Remrem stroked his beard, which I knew was silvery grey but which he dyed bright ginger with henna to conceal his true age. He is a great lord and a cunning and valiant warrior. I love him as if he were my brother, which in many ways he is. However, Remrem does have one failing. He is quite insufferably vain about his appearance.

  I nodded my thanks for his support and went on speaking. ‘It is not quite as simple as that, my lord. Al Namjoo tells me that the next oasis on our route is called Zaynab, which means ‘Precious Jewel’. It is over two hundred leagues ahead of us. It will take ten days to cover that distance. This means that when we reach it, our livestock will be exhausted and suffering grievously from thirst. We will have to rest them at Zaynab for at least two weeks to allow them to recover. However, Zaynab is a small oasis. The water that it contains is insufficient to supply the needs of our entire company for more than a mere few days.’ I paused to let Remrem or someone else suggest the logical solution to this quandary. This would enable me to divert some of the blame to the other party when Princess Tehuti cast us all into turmoil and uproar, which she would certainly do as soon as she learned all the ramifications of my plan. There was a heavy silence so I was forced to continue and face the consequences alone.

  ‘The only solution is for us to split our company: to send half our men and animals ahead to Zaynab. The other half will remain here for two weeks to give them a start. We will maintain this separation for the remainder of our journey. We will not reassemble until we reach the Land of the Two Rivers. In this manner we will never be in danger of entirely exhausting the water in any one oasis with our combined numbers.’

  There was a silence as they all considered this. ‘As ever your plan has much merit, Taita.’ Remrem spoke at last in his great rumbling voice. ‘And if I know you at all, you will already have decided on the division of our forces.’ I smiled and bowed my head slightly in acquiescence.

  ‘You, my Lord Remrem, will take command of the vanguard. This will comprise half the men and all the camels. In addition you will take under your care the royal ladies, Princess Bekatha and Princess Tehuti. Naturally, the Cretan girl Loxias will go with them as their lady-in-waiting.’

  ‘I am obliged to you, Lord Taita. Your confidence in me is most gratifying.’ Remrem had the knack of making even these fine sentiments sound pompous.

  I drew a deep breath and went on, ‘When I follow you two weeks later, I will bring up the horses. I will also keep Captain Zaras and Colonel Hui with me in the second party. I will need Hui to manage the horses.’ I looked at him and he nodded. Hui could not bear to be separated from his beloved animals. Then I turned to Zaras, ‘Two weeks from now you should be sufficiently recovered from your wounds to travel safely.’

  My plan was little short of genius. The princesses would go ahead with Remrem. I would keep Zaras and Hui with me. With a single stroke I had separated the girls from the boys, and arranged that both Zaras and all my livestock arrived in Babylon well watered and in fine fettle. Most importantly I had ensured that my princesses would also arrive intact and untapped.

  I did not want to look at Tehuti. I hoped that I had left her with no space in which to manoeuvre, so that she would capitulate gracefully.

  ‘No.’ Her voice was soft but distinct. ‘I don’t think that is a good idea at all, Lord Taita.’ Once more I had become Lord Taita, and not darling Taita.

  I knew I had been over-optimistic. I reached into my sleeve and took hold of the royal hawk seal which I always carried with me. I needed all the authority I could muster.

  ‘I am so very sorry to hear that, Your Royal Highness. I was certain that you would see the necessity of making these arrangements, as Lord Remrem did so readily.’ I produced the hawk seal from my sleeve and rubbed it between my fingers absent-mindedly.

  ‘Oh, are you offering that bauble to me?’ Without waiting for my answer she reached up and took it from my hand. I was so surprised that I relinquished it without protest.

  ‘Is it true what they say, Lord Taita?’

  ‘What do they say, Your Highness?’

  ‘They say that whoever holds the hawk seal speaks with the voice of Pharaoh.’

  ‘Yes, Highness. That is true.’

  ‘Look who is holding it now, my lord.’

  By now the other three men in the tent were aware that a trial of wills was in progress and they were attempting unsuccessfully to hide their fascination. It was obvious even to me that I was starting to look ridiculous. I felt the frown beginning to crease my forehead and I smoothed it away as I bowed dutifully to Tehuti.

  ‘I wait to hear you speak with the noble voice of Pharaoh!’ I attempted a small jest. It was not well received. Tehuti’s smile crumbled into tragic ruins, and her lovely eyes flooded with tears.

  ‘Oh, darling Taita,’ she whispered and it was almost a sob, ‘please don’t be so cruel to me. You are the only father I have ever known. Don’t send me away, I beg of you. You promised my brother and my mother that you would always take care of me. You are the only man I love and trust.’ Her voice choked and she handed the hawk seal back to me. ‘Here! Take it. Send me away if you must. I will do whatever you command me.’

  Our interested audience stopped smiling. Their expressions became dismayed and horrified. In unison they turned their recriminatory gaze on me. I was suddenly the villain.

  Of course none of them were aware of just what a consummate actress she is. She made me appear to be a bully and an utter dastard. In a moment I lost all stomach for the contest.

  ‘Forgive me, Tehuti. Tell me what you want and I will give it to you.’

  ‘Bekatha and I just want to stay with you, our real father. That is all.’ She choked back another sob, but that was superfluous. She knew she had won. She had achieved her purpose without once mentioning the name of the man whom we were really squabbling over.

  Four days later, in the cool of the late afternoon, Lord Remrem marched with half our company towards the oasis of Zaynab two hundred leagues to the north. I took Tehuti with me and we rode out with Remrem to see him safely launched on the first five leagues of his journey. Then at last we made our farewells and the two of us turned back towards Miyah Keiv. Our bodyguard of twenty Blue Crocodile Guards fell in behind us at a discreet distance, close enough to rush to our rescue if danger threatened, but not close enough to overhear our conversation.

  Before we left the Miyah Keiv I had invited Princess Bekatha to ride with us, but to my astonishment she had declined with the excuse that she wished to complete the scroll of hieroglyphics which I had set as part of her lessons. Bekatha was not usually such a diligent and dedicated pupil. Now I was about to learn who had instigated her sudden interest in writing.

  For the first league Tehuti and I rode stirrup to stirrup in companionable silence. Then she asked me suddenly, ‘You knew my father very well, didn’t you? I know almost nothing about him. You have never spoken of him before. Please tell me about him, Taita.’

  ‘Everybody in Egypt knows your father very well. He was the divine god Pharaoh Mamose: the eighth of tha
t name and line. He was the pillar of the realm, the just, the great, the all-seeing, the all-merciful …’

  ‘No, he was not.’ She contradicted me flatly. ‘Please don’t lie to me, darling Taita.’ This accusation scattered my wits across the desert, and I turned in the saddle and stared at her in alarm as I gathered them up again.

  ‘It seems I have been misinformed!’ I attempted a dismissive laugh, but it sounded flat even to me. ‘If it was not Pharaoh, then please tell me who was the person fortunate enough to have you for a daughter. I truly do envy him.’

  ‘My true father was Lord Tanus, and his father was Pianki, Lord Harrab. His mother was a freed Tehenu slave, with the fair hair and blue eyes that I have inherited. They say that she was very beautiful. They say that my father took after her and that he was also very beautiful. They say he was the most beautiful man in Egypt.’

  ‘Who told you all this …’ I was about to say, ‘… all this arrant nonsense.’ But with an effort I was able to check myself.

  ‘My own mother told me. Queen Lostris. Now tell me that she lied to me.’

  I was bewildered and as close as I have ever been to complete panic. The throne of Pharaoh and the foundations of my very Egypt were shaking. The firmament was about to fall in upon me. This was the most dangerous utterance I had ever heard.

  ‘Who else have you told?’ I gasped at last.

  ‘Nobody; only you.’

  ‘Do you know what will happen if you ever did tell anybody else?’

  ‘Darling Taita, I am not a complete idiot.’ She leaned out of the saddle and took my hand, like a mother calming her frightened child.

  ‘Are you certain you have not spoken of this to your brother?’ I demanded, my voice rising, shrill in my own ears. ‘Does Pharaoh know about this? Bekatha? Have you told her?’

  ‘No.’ Her voice was calm, reassuring. ‘Bekatha is still a silly little girl. And it would kill Mem if he knew he was not the true Pharaoh.’

  ‘Your mother told you that, as well?’ I shook her hand urgently; by now I was terrified. ‘She told you everything? Please say that I have misunderstood, please!’

  ‘You understood me perfectly. My mother told me that all three of us are the offspring of Lord Tanus and not those of Pharaoh Mamose. We are three little bastards.’

  ‘Why are you telling me all this now, Tehuti?’

  ‘Because I am soon going to be in a very similar position to that in which my mother was caught up. You saved her …’ she started and I shook my head in denial.

  ‘Do not shake your head at me, Lord Taita!’ She laughed at me. She actually laughed in my face! ‘You saved my mother, and now you must do the same for me.’

  This much was true. Queen Lostris had been the only true love of my life, but now she was gone and Tehuti had taken her place. I could deny her nothing, but I could at least state my own rules and conditions. She would almost certainly ignore them just as her mother had done, but at least I would have made the effort.

  ‘Tell me exactly what you require of me, Tehuti.’

  ‘My mother was married to a king, but she had the husband of her own choice. She bore his children, not those of the king. She could not have done that on her own. You helped her achieve all that. Isn’t that what happened?’

  ‘Yes, that is what happened,’ I confessed. It seemed the only course open to me.

  ‘I have lived in my brother’s harem most of my life,’ Tehuti continued. ‘He has two hundred wives, but he only loves one of them. Masara was the first of all of them, and she has given him three sons. If I could have what she has then I would be content. But I have watched the misery of his other wives. Most of them have not been visited by my brother more than once or twice in all the time they have been his wives. Do you know what they do, Taita?’ she demanded, and her tone was heavy with disapproval. I shook my head and she went on, ‘They play with themselves or with the other women of the harem instead of with a man … a man whom they want and love. They have toy penises made from ivory or silver. They push these horrid things up into themselves, or into each other.’ She broke off and shuddered. ‘It is so sad. I don’t want to be like them.’

  I saw her face change, become bleak with sorrow. I saw the sudden tears well up in the inner corners of her eyes. Now she was no longer acting.

  ‘I know that you are going to take me to a strange and foreign land. There you will give me to an old man who is all wrinkled and grey; someone with cold hands and a foul breath that will sicken me to the pit of my stomach. He will do ugly things to me …’ She choked back a sob. ‘Just once before that happens I want to have what you gave to my mother. I want to have a man who makes me laugh and makes my heart beat faster. I want a man who truly loves me and whom I truly love.’

  ‘You want Zaras.’ I spoke softly, and she raised her chin and met my gaze through the tears.

  ‘Yes, I want Zaras. Just once I want to be in love and hold that precious thing to my heart. I want to have Zaras as my husband and to have him deep inside me. If you give me that for just a little space of time, then I will gladly go and do my duty for my Pharaoh, for Egypt and for you, my darling Taita.’

  ‘Will you promise me that, Tehuti? Will you tell no other person ever; not even your own children?’

  ‘My mother …’ she started, but I cut her protest short.

  ‘There were special circumstances with your mother. They will not be the same in your case. You must promise me truly.’

  ‘I promise you truly,’ she agreed, and I could not doubt her.

  ‘You must understand that you will not be able to bear Zaras’ children; not ever?’

  ‘I wish it were not so, Taita. I would dearly love to have a little Zaras of my very own. But I know that it has to be the way you say.’

  ‘Every month when the red flower of your womanhood is due to blossom I will give you a draught to drink. The infant will be carried out of your womb on the tide of your blood.’

  ‘I will weep to think on it.’

  ‘When you become the wife of the Supreme Minos you will forsake Zaras for all time. You will abide in the royal harem in Crete. Zaras will return to Egypt. You will never see him again. Do you understand that, Tehuti?’ She nodded her head.

  ‘Speak!’ I commanded her. ‘Say that you understand.’

  ‘I understand.’ She spoke up clearly.

  ‘On the night of your wedding to the Minos I will prepare a lamb’s bladder of blood for you. It will burst when he takes you to his bed. It will convince him of your virginity and your chastity.’

  ‘I understand,’ she whispered.

  ‘You will tell nobody,’ I insisted. ‘Not even Bekatha; especially not Bekatha.’ Her little sister was an inveterate chatterbox and famously unable to keep a secret.

  ‘I will tell nobody,’ she agreed, ‘not even my little sister.’

  ‘Do you understand what danger you will be in, Tehuti? The Minos will have the power of life and death over you. It is foolhardy to cheat a king. You must take the utmost care never to be discovered.’

  ‘I understand. I know that you are taking the same risk as I am. I love you all the more for that.’

  Of course it was madness, but I have done many mad things in my life. My only consolation was that I still had a tiny breathing space in which to make my preparations. Zaras’ wounds placed a restraint upon him. He was not yet in a condition to embark upon the wilder excesses of love. However, he was healing swiftly.

  Two days later Zaras came to me and asked permission to speak.

  ‘Since when do you have to ask my permission? Lack of it has never held you back before.’ He looked embarrassed.

  ‘Princess Tehuti wants me to teach her the manual of arms, and to instruct her in use of the sword. I told her that I would need to have your permission to do this.’

  ‘That was probably not wise, Zaras. What Her Royal Highness wants; Her Royal Highness usually gets.’

  ‘I meant no disrespect,’ he hurried to as
sure me, and I laughed at his distress.

  ‘The princess is an excellent archer,’ I pointed out. ‘She is very quick. She has sharp eyes, and good strong arms. So I have little doubt that she will make a good sword fighter. It is a skill that could stand her in good stead at some time in the future. Who knows? It might even save her life one day.’ I am not sure why I said that. In the event it turned out to be one of the great understatements of my life. ‘Do you have any objection to doing as she requests of you, Zaras?’

  ‘Not the least objection, my lord,’ Zaras assured me hurriedly. ‘On the contrary, I would consider it to be a great honour and privilege.’

  ‘Then get on with it. I will be very interested to see what you can make of her.’ I thought no more of it, which statement is not the literal truth. I thought of very little else. I agonized a great deal over Zaras and Tehuti in the weeks that followed.

  Zaras grew stronger every day. If he was hard on his men, he was utterly ruthless with himself.

  From sunrise each morning until noon he led his men on a foot race over the roughest terrain. I ran with them. I have been blessed with extraordinary strength and powers of endurance, and I am able to match men half my age, or even younger.

  In the beginning I could see how Zaras suffered and was impressed with how he was able to conceal his distress from everybody but me. But within days he was matching me stride for stride, leading his men in the battalion’s marching song and laughing freely at my jokes and sallies.

  I approved his industry and his constant search for self-improvement. On the other hand there is a limit to all things. Behaviour that is acceptable in the common people is not always suitable to the dignity of the upper strata of our society.

  When without consulting me Zaras decided that on the future morning runs every man must carry a bag of sand equal to a quarter of their own body weight, I realized that I had been neglecting other more important duties. Instead of mindlessly charging through the desert trying to compete with a gang of young hooligans, I had to tutor my princesses in the sciences of mathematics and astrology; and I had to write the final chapters of my treatise on the genealogy of the gods. As far as I am concerned, mind must always take precedence over muscle.