Not In My Wildest Dreams (McKenna Series Book 2)

by Jamie Hollins

  That was bullshit. He didn’t monopolize her time and attention. So he liked to make her laugh. Big deal.

  “Remember Sheila Ellis?” Ewan asked.

  Sean’s eyes widened at the sudden change of topic. Weren’t they supposed to be talking about him and Darcy? Still, Sean tried to follow along.

  “Yeah. Who could forget her?”

  “You, apparently. At that Halloween party when you were fifteen or sixteen. She was trying hard to get your attention, shoving her tits in your line of sight, rubbing her hands up and down her hips like a stripper during a lap dance. You didn’t even know she was there because you were locked in conversation with Darcy the whole night.”

  Sean remembered that party. He and Darcy had been debating the attractiveness of body art.

  Sean had wanted to get a giant Celtic cross on his shoulder blade. Darcy had told him he’d look ridiculous and that unless a guy was ripped, no one ever looked good with a tattoo on their back.

  Offended by her insinuation that he didn’t have muscles, he’d argued with her about it for over an hour. The truth was, he’d still been in his tall and lanky phase and was a long way from ripped.

  He looked down at his right bicep, which was clearly visible under his thin shirt.

  Wonder what she’d think about me getting a tattoo now?

  “So she says she loves you and you fuck her?”

  Ewan’s direct question forced Sean’s attention back to the problem at hand.

  “No. Not exactly,” Sean replied, emptying his first pint. “I went to her place tonight with every intention of clearing the air and talking this shit out. Then she starts denying that she loves me. She told me she didn’t mean it. And I had this uncontrollable urge to prove her wrong. But once I started…”

  Sean’s voiced trailed off. His mind flashed back to the feel of her lips on his and her smooth, soft skin under his fingertips.

  Motherfucker, he was getting hard just thinking about it.

  “So how did you plan to prove her wrong, brother?” Ewan asked, a knowing smirk forming at the edge of his mouth.

  Smartass bastard.

  “So yeah, I had sex with her. But then…” Sean stopped abruptly, deciding whether to elaborate on his speedy performance. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this, but by the time I actually got around to the fucking part, it was so goddamn good I lasted less than two minutes.”

  To Ewan’s credit, he kept his face relatively impassive except for the suppressed amusement that flickered in his eyes.

  “That good, huh?”

  “Fucking. Amazing.”

  And it had been. She had been so responsive to his touch, and her little whimpers had created this firestorm inside of him. He’d nearly come when she gasped his name. It shouldn’t have surprised him that he’d lost it as soon as he got inside of her.

  “It’s not like you to fuck a woman just because you suddenly get the urge.” Ewan dried the inside of another glass as he spoke.

  Ewan wasn’t kidding. Sean had an active sex life, but active didn’t mean irresponsible. He wasn’t in the habit of having spontaneous sex.

  He considered his partners carefully. Sure, maybe some considerations had been shorter than others, but the all-consuming need to be inside of Darcy was unlike anything he’d ever felt. His brain had been on autopilot. It was as natural as a heartbeat.

  Sean wrapped his hands around his pint, the condensation cold and slippery against his palms. “That’s not even the worst part,” he said, raising his eyes to his cousin. “She was a virgin.”

  Ewan stilled. The rag in his hand remained motionless inside the clean glass. His cousin shifted his gaze over to Sean and raised his brows in question.

  Sean shrugged. “I told you I really fucked up.”

  He dropped his chin to his chest. He was suddenly exhausted. It seemed to take all his effort just to open his eyes again.

  “I didn’t know,” Sean explained. “She didn’t tell me until afterwards.”

  “Did you hurt her?” Ewan asked, stacking a few clean tumblers upside down on the bar.

  “I must have, but I was too busy trying to keep my shit together to notice. The thought never crossed my mind that she was a virgin.” Sean squeezed his eyes shut. “God, she was perfect. I can’t believe some other guy didn’t get her into bed a long time ago.”

  The thought made his stomach tighten. Sean felt a surge of impractical possessiveness. He’d been where no other man had ventured before with Darcy. Thinking about her sharing those little moans and breathy sighs with someone else made him want to put his fist through a wall.

  Yet he had no claim to her. And the sooner he remembered that the better off he’d be.

  “So what happened? What did she say afterwards?”

  Sean sighed. “I believe it was something like: ‘Get the fuck out of my apartment.’”

  Ewan frowned. “What reason did she have to kick you out?”

  “Hell if I know. It wasn’t like she was left empty-handed. I got her off, for crying out loud!”

  “Jesus, keep your voice down,” Ewan growled.

  “Fuck, man, what do I do?” Sean continued, ignoring his cousin’s impatient glare from across the bar top. Sean had gone from irate to hopeless in the span of twenty minutes.

  “Do you regret it? Sleeping with her, that is?”

  Sean nodded. “I think so.”

  “You think or you know?”

  Sean pulled in an unsteady breath while he thought about the question. It surprised him that the answer came so quickly, because he’d been trying to figure out the answer to that question all night.

  “I know.”

  Fuck, hearing the words out loud crushed him. They tasted bitter on his tongue. Not because they were a lie but because they were the truth.

  He regretted sleeping with her. It was entirely possible that their friendship would never be the same again.

  He regretted that it had been the most intense orgasm he’d ever had. Knowing how good it could be and never having something like that again was catastrophic.

  He regretted that he’d hurt her, both physically and emotionally.

  He regretted the fact that he was in this goddamn situation at all.

  “If I could turn back the clock, I would do it all differently. But I can’t, and now I have no idea what to do to make this better.”

  By differently, he meant not at all. God, the consequences of his actions were all becoming so clear to him now. What a complete fuckup he’d made of things.

  Ewan was quiet, before he replied, “I’d leave her alone for a while.”

  Sean nodded slowly. His head felt like it weighed a ton. That was the easy thing to do. Not call her or text her, hoping that she was getting over things and coming to the same conclusions about the whole mess that he was. But even as he thought about taking the easy way out, his conscience ached to make amends.

  “Maybe once she comes to terms with everything that happened, she’ll want to talk to you about it.”

  Sean laughed dryly. “No, she won’t. She’d run away to the far corners of the earth if she could.”

  “Maybe you should let her then,” Ewan said, his voice quiet and thoughtful.

  Sean looked up into the steady gaze of his cousin. Compassion and understanding glinted in Ewan’s dark eyes.

  He’d give her space. He’d give her the time she needed. But there would be a limit to his patience. If Sean let Darcy go, she’d never come back, and he’d mourn the loss of her friendship for the rest of his life. He knew that as sure as the sun would rise tomorrow. And he’d regret that most of all.

  Chapter 15

  The golden elevator buttons lit up as the lift slowly passed each floor on its journey upward. The cheerful chime that accompanied each level deepened into a damning gong by the time Darcy arrived at the seventh floor.

  She’d sat in her car in the parking lot for the last twenty minutes staring at the concrete wall in front o
f her, dreading what was about to happen. Although it went against every moral fiber in her body, she’d purposely delayed her arrival at the subcontractors’ meeting at the Rolland Construction headquarters. She usually preferred to be early. Today, she was bang on time and not a minute sooner.

  As the elevator sounded its final warning before arriving at the seventh floor, Darcy looked down at her watch. It showed ten minutes after nine o’clock. She’d given them all plenty of time to gather their coffee and chitchat. If she was lucky, they’d be sitting down in the conference room just getting started.

  Darcy glanced down and pulled the hem of her black-and-white knit dress. Years of being curvaceous warned her away from horizontal stripes, but this dress actually looked flattering. The slinky material with three-quarter-length sleeves hugged her body like a long-lost friend.

  The majority of the dress was black with white stripes around the narrowest part of her waist. A red belt paired with three-inch red patent leather heels gave her just enough color not to be washed out. Before leaving her grandmother’s house that morning, she’d thrown on a black trench coat, leaving it unbuttoned and unbuckled.

  Overkill for a subcontractors’ meeting at a construction company? Definitely.

  But knowing that she at least looked good was the only way she could drag herself into that boardroom to sit at the same table with Sean.

  If she could have delayed this meeting another couple months, she gladly would have. Imagine her panic when she had received a group email from Rolland Construction’s secretary calling a kick-off meeting a mere two weeks after she’d booted Sean out of her apartment.

  Two weeks was hardly enough to rebuild the armor she needed to face him.

  Two weeks was a blink of an eye.

  But apparently, Hyde Wellington was eager to get started and had finalized his line of credit for the project in record time.

  Today would be her first interaction with Sean in any way since that fateful night. To say she was anxious was a huge understatement. She felt her stomach tremble with nerves as the elevator doors opened into the suite.

  If there was ever a time Darcy needed her courage, it was now.

  Her embarrassment was still fresh. The humiliation from their night together sat right on the surface. She’d never been one to hide her feelings, but if she could get through the next couple hours without alerting Sean to her complete and utter mortification, then she deserved an Oscar. Mentally prodding herself to stay calm, she stepped out of the elevator and approached the reception desk.

  The red-haired girl behind the desk looked up as the elevator doors closed behind Darcy.

  “Hi, Darcy, good to see you again. They’re just getting started in the large conference room.” The girl smiled warmly. “Can I take your coat?”

  “Thank you,” Darcy said as she let her trench slide down her arms before handing it to the woman. She’d been introduced to the receptionist before, but she couldn’t remember her name.

  “If you’re ready, I’ll take you back?”

  Darcy clutched the small twin handles of her black leather tote and shook her head. “That’s okay. I remember the way.”

  “Okay, great. Have a nice meeting,” she said cheerfully as she slipped her slender, lithe body back behind her desk. “Killer shoes, by the way.”

  Darcy looked down at her shoes and smiled. They were killer, she had to admit. She also had to admit that she’d much rather stand out here in the reception area talking to this nice and enviably perfect girl instead of participating in the subcontractors’ meeting.

  “Thanks,” she replied.

  Darcy reluctantly made her way through the maze of cubicles to the far wall. When the glass windows of the conference room came into view, she pulled in a deep breath. Eight men sat at the long, rectangular table, their attention turned toward the tall figure standing at the head. The man’s bright blue eyes cut toward her as she approached the door, and he paused in mid-sentence. She quickly forced her gaze away from Sean’s weighted stare. With one last deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin.

  Gird your loins, Owens. Don’t let ’em see you sweat.

  She strode into the room and all heads turned toward her.

  “Sorry I’m late.” She smiled apologetically at the others as she took the only empty seat nearest the door. A sputtering of grumbled hellos and smiles greeted her from the other meeting participants.

  Rhys, who sat next to her, nudged her with his knee under the table. “Slacker,” he teased.

  She smiled over at him. “Can it, Clarke.”

  He grinned just as someone cleared their throat loudly, calling all their attention toward its originator.

  Sean braced his fingertips on the table as he looked at Rhys. “Shall we continue?”

  “Sure thing, boss,” Rhys replied wryly.

  Sean’s eyes moved slowly to Darcy and softened. He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. She held his gaze, silently dying inside. He was every bit as delectable as always. The bright, dancing eyes rimmed with long, light lashes. It felt as if her body melted into a trance. Until she remembered the aftermath of their romp in the bedroom and the humiliation boiled back up toward the surface. She quickly looked down into her bag and pulled out her notebook.

  “Now that everyone’s here,” Sean continued, his teasing tone warm with amusement, “we need to set some deadlines over the course of the next year. As I mentioned, Michael’s worked his magic with the county office, and the permits are being fast-tracked. We expect final authorization by next week. Michael, how you got that done I have no idea. When will you ever share your secrets?”

  Sean’s older partner just shrugged. “Just takes a little finesse, kid.”

  There were a few snickers around the table. Darcy heard a fake cough hiding what sounded like a sexual innuendo. Michael caught Darcy’s eye and winked. She couldn’t help but smile back at the older gentleman. He was a veteran in this business surrounded by younger, more aggressive competitors. But Darcy knew never to confuse age with capabilities.

  “All right,” Sean interrupted. “Terry, your team needs to be ready with the demo as soon as we get those permits. Since there’s not a standing structure on the site, that won’t take long. Then Glen’s team heads in with laying the groundwork. Sewer, water, electric, the works. I know you have your subs lined up for that. If all goes well, we should be breaking ground in three weeks.”

  Darcy furiously scribbled in her notebook even though what they were presently discussing had nothing to do with her. Her note-taking was all a ruse to keep herself occupied and her eyes off the man who’d taken her virginity just two weeks earlier.

  During that time, she’d kept herself busy. She’d thrown herself into the Wellington project, gathering a team of temporary employees, visiting furniture warehouses and flooring distributors.

  She’d become almost obsessive-compulsive. She worried the moment she stopped thinking about the project she’d revert back to her agonizing situation with Sean. When she wasn’t working, she exercised or slept. She’d dropped five pounds in the last two weeks alone. It was surprising how many calories you burned when you were running away from reality.

  Sean hadn’t called or texted. Neither had she.

  Quinn hadn’t given her any news of him from Ewan. Not that Darcy had asked.

  After his last surprise visit, she grew paranoid that he’d pop in some random morning or knock on her door one night. She’d stayed at her grandmother’s during the weekends on the off chance he’d surprise her by coming to Providence. And to make sure she didn’t run into him if he was also in Ballagh, she didn’t leave Grandma Nell’s property. She’d used the peaceful, serene setting to hide like a bandit, and that didn’t bother her one bit.

  She’d figured it out. All that time, she’d thought she’d done something wrong that night when they were together, yet she hadn’t seen the obvious. What made him stop wasn’t a wrong move on Darcy’s part, or rat
her her lack of moves, as it were. It was that he’d realized what he was doing—or who he was doing—the second he’d pushed inside of her. Whatever prior spell had come over him had vanished into thin air.

  After days of analyzing the hell out of it, Darcy had finally realized that he’d stopped because the reality of the situation had finally dawned on him in that moment. And nothing sobered a guy up faster than realizing he’d stuck his dick into something he shouldn’t have.

  The smooth tenor of his voice as he continued with the meeting crawled all over her skin, causing her hair to stand up. He talked about plumbing, laying sewer connections, and moving dirt, yet his words caressed her senses like a warm, downy towel after it was pulled out of the dryer.

  She really was pathetic. Even after all their shit hit the fan, she couldn’t help but love him. It wasn’t like a light switch she could just turn off. She’d spent years loving him, and it just might take her years to get over it too.

  Darcy knew everyone at the table could see her pulse beating erratically in her throat. Hell, they could probably hear her heartbeat. She certainly could. It sounded like a drumbeat in her ears, and she saw her writing hand tremble with every throb.

  She nodded when she needed to. She looked up and smiled when someone made a joke. Darcy even forced herself to laugh at one of Sean’s dumb comments. But that laughter died quickly when he proceeded to talk about how they all should do the city a favor and relocate the traditional make-out setting to some other park. His dancing blue eyes caught hers for just a second before she looked back down at her notebook.

  As he continued, she tried to settle her breathing. Of course he looked amazing in his dark-washed jeans, pale blue dress shirt, and light gray blazer. In the few glances she’d stolen of him, she’d noticed his shirt’s top button was undone, showing the smooth tan base of his throat. The same throat she’d kissed and run her tongue along. His light hair was tactfully disheveled, and he kept the gold dusting of stubble along his jaw. The same jaw she’d felt pressed against her breasts.

  He was tall, solid, and absolutely gorgeous. And for some insane reason, he’d wanted her that night. Right up until the moment he’d realized who he was fucking, then his dick went from steel to limp in less than a minute.