Strength (Mark of Nexus #1)

by Carrie Butler

  “And I’ll be there with you,” a low voice muttered overhead. I could practically feel Wallace’s presence behind me as we came to a stop beside two rooms. A chill shot up my spine and I shuddered, praying Clara hadn’t noticed.

  “Grandma, which room do you and Rena want?” Cole asked.

  Clara snatched the keycard from his hand and gave it to Wallace. “Don’t be silly. We can’t separate them, after everything they’ve been through.”

  Oh God. The woman was getting that look in her eye again. Mrs. Claus meets Yente the Matchmaker.

  “Besides, we wouldn’t want anyone”—she shot Wallace a pointed stare—“worrying and coming through the door in the middle of the night.”

  Wallace turned eighteen shades of red and crammed the card into the slot. “That’s fine.” When the light turned green, he twisted the handle and bumped the door open with his hip. “Cole, I’ll settle up with you tomorrow."

  His humiliation poured out in waves, but I did my best to keep a static expression.

  “That’s cool.” Cole heaved a sigh and opened the door to the room he would share with his grandmother. Sure, there were twin beds, but that was still going to be hella awkward. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

  “Hey, um…” I paused in the hallway, as they made their way inside. “Thanks, you guys. I, uh…” What was I doing? Making a speech? “Never mind. Just thanks.” I smiled, and Clara winked at me.

  “We’ll see you in the morning, dear.” That was code, wasn’t it?

  Cole reached out and mussed my already-messy hair. “Night, sis.”

  I shook my head and followed Wallace into our room. “Night.”

  Chapter Fifty-One

  I practically floated across the room, lost in a hazy cloud of rose-scented steam. My hair was clean, my legs were soft and, for a moment, I forgot I was clad in nothing but a big, fluffy towel.

  Our clothes were hung over the curtain bar, dangling overtop the heater. It was on full blast, but it didn’t seem to be doing much in the way of drying. We’d just have to hope they’d be done by morning. Until then, we had no choice but to make do with what we had.

  I adjusted my towel and padded across the carpet.

  Wallace was lying on his back with his eyes closed and his arms tucked behind his head. The worry lines had faded from his brow, softening his features. In the dim light, he could almost pass for vulnerable.

  Crisp, white sheets were bunched at his waist, making me wonder if he’d even bothered with the towel. I’d never been artistically inclined, but the sight of him lying there shirtless was enough to give a girl inspiration. In more ways than one.

  I shifted from one foot to the other, nervously hovering between our beds. It was the first time we’d really been alone together since the dust had settled. After everything that’d happened, I didn’t know how to act.

  “Hey,” I whispered, bending down. “Are you asleep?”

  He didn’t stir. “Yes.”

  “Oh.” I started to pull away and froze when I realized what he was saying. “Shut up.”

  A beautiful grin curved his lips and he reached out, blindly pulling me onto the bed. My body didn’t have a chance to react to his gentle urging. I sprawled out across his chest, barely keeping my towel together. “Wallace!”

  He laughed, and I relaxed against him. It seemed like it’d been forever since I’d heard such a comforting sound.

  “What?” He opened his eyes.

  “Don’t scare me like that,” I mumbled, moving to his side. We both leaned in, posed like gossiping teenagers at a slumber party. “I thought you were asleep.”

  “Yes, because I always sleep so well when you’re anxious.” He raised an accusing eyebrow and rested his hand on my hip. “Are you still worried about them coming after us or something? I can—”

  I shook my head. “No, I was just thinking.”

  “About what?” He shifted to lean on one arm, looking into my eyes. “Did something happen?” The intensity crept back into his gaze as he studied me. “When I was captured—”

  “Nothing happened,” I assured him, smoothing a hand up his chest. “I was just…” I wanted to laugh at myself for how stupid I felt. “I was just embarrassed that I gave in like that, at the end.”

  As expected, his brows furrowed at my words.

  “What could you do at that point? If you hadn’t made that deal, I wouldn’t be here. You probably wouldn’t be here. How could you feel bad about that?”

  My towel rode up, and I felt a bruise kneading into the small of my back as he tried to comfort me. Progress, at least.

  “I know you’re right, but…” I trailed off as my stomach twisted into knots. Could I really say it out loud this time? “I feel like we’re in some kind of race against the clock now, trying to stop this thing with Faye before it starts, and I’m just slowing you guys down. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to keep up with you. Any of you. That power tonight was borrowed.” I took a deep breath, feeling better and worse at the same time. “I guess it’s just hard for me to find my place in all of this.”

  “Rena…” His concern blanketed me in sympathetic warmth, and I looked away. How could I stare down such a helpless reflection in his eyes? We were both in a fragile state of exhaustion, and I’d let it get to me. Of course he pitied me for my limitations. I didn’t need to bring it up again.

  “Hey,” he whispered, softening his voice as he bent to meet my gaze. “Your place is with me. That’s all that matters.”

  “So, I’m just supposed to let you protect me forever?” I asked, letting the injustice well up inside me. It wasn’t fair that I had to depend on him for everything, because of what I’d been born into. Or, in this case, what I hadn’t been born into.

  With a look of sheer incredulity, he laid his arm down and sank onto his pillow. “Are you serious? I’ll be lucky to keep up with you trying to protect me.”

  “What?”

  “Who took out Gail and Maverick tonight?” he asked, as if patiently awaiting my understanding.

  I let out a slow breath. “I get what you’re trying to say, but that wasn’t anything compared to what you guys can do, and you know it.”

  I couldn’t believe he was forcing me to admit it aloud. It felt like I was rubbing salt into my own wounds.

  “Oh, so it wasn’t impressive because you used your fists and knees, instead of some big display of power?” His lips formed a thin line. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to listen to you pity yourself for being human.”

  I recoiled. Did he have to say it like that? It was mortifying.

  “You’re the strongest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, Rena.” He spoke each word with reverence and careful articulation. “You don’t need to feel inferior to anyone. Ever. Okay? I don’t care if you borrow my power or use your own. Just watch my back, and I’ll watch yours. That’s all we need to get through this.”

  Tears burned my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. God, what had I done to deserve his understanding? He was right. I was being ridiculous and insecure. “Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. It’s the truth.” He visibly relaxed, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Though, you’re welcome to thank me in any way you see fit.”

  I rolled my eyes and leaned forward, kissing his cheek. “Thank you.”

  He looked thoughtful at that, tensing in concentration.

  “What?”

  “I’m trying to think of something else I can say, for you to thank me.”

  I smacked his arm. He was worse than Cole. “Try focusing on something important, like what we should do.”

  “About what?”

  “About everything!” Geez. Was he trying to exasperate me?

  He went on, unshaken, “Well, tomorrow we’ll go back to campus, and you can return whoever’s car you borrowed or hotwired or—”

  “Funny,” I said, making a face. “It’s Aiden’s. He let me borrow it.”

  A
humorless smile was lost to his eyes. “Great. He’ll have more reason to hate me, after he finds out what you borrowed it for.”

  “He doesn’t hate you.” Honestly, how could he even think that? Aiden was a cute little pacifist. He didn’t just randomly hate people. Sure, he was easily intimidated and prone to blowing things out of proportion, but malicious? Not even close.

  Wallace gave me a look that said he knew more than he’d been letting on.

  I tilted my head. “What?”

  “What’re you going to tell your friends about tonight?” he asked, changing the subject.

  I didn’t want to lie. I’d just have to find a way to omit the important parts, while staying beneath the umbrella of truth again.

  “I’ll be vague,” I said. “We were out of town because you had some tragic, personal matters to attend to. We stayed with your family afterward. The end.”

  “Lying by omission?”

  “Does it count as lying when it’s none of their concern, and the omission is to protect them?”

  He mulled it over. “I guess not.”

  “Speaking of which,” I continued. “What’re we going to do about Faye?”

  It took him longer to respond this time. “I guess we have no choice but to wait until she contacts you and go from there.” He worked the muscles in his jaw. “But don’t worry about it. We’re in this together. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

  I wish I could’ve taken solace in his words and left it at that, but there was still too much left on my mind. “Do you think she’s given up trying to recruit us?”

  He let out a deep breath. “I think she’s switching tactics. She’s too analytical to kill us without understanding the threat we posed in that vision.”

  “And once she figures it out?”

  “We’ll worry about that when the time comes.”

  How could he be so calm about everything? “What about this movement they’re trying to start?” I asked. “Isn’t it dangerous? Don’t you think we’re going to have to do something about it?”

  “I have no doubt in my mind we will, but until the time comes…” He pressed his lips to my forehead, calming the anxiety that threatened to spill over. “Don’t try to take the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

  The fatigue was starting to catch up with me. I melted against him, squeezing my eyes shut. “What if I take it on anyway? What if I can’t help myself?”

  “Then I’ll carry it for you.”

  I sighed, slipping my hand up along his cheek. “I know you will.”

  “Not that you’ll let me,” he mumbled, ducking his head down. His dark hair, still slightly damp, stuck every which way.

  My brows stitched together. “What do you mean by that?”

  He didn’t say anything.

  “Hey…” I scooted until our bodies were flush against each other, separated by a sweltering barrier of Egyptian cotton. “What’s wrong?”

  Again, he didn’t reply, and I felt a small pang of worry.

  “Wallace,” I urged, placing a soft kiss at the crook of his neck. “Talk to me.” I moved upward, feeling his pulse pound fast and strong against my lips. My own rhythm quickened in response, as I kissed a warm trail to his jaw line. “Please.”

  He shuddered, and there was no masking his reaction against me. “Sorry,” he murmured and pulled his hand away from its place at my hip. “What were you saying?”

  We were dizzyingly close as he turned to look at me, less than a breath away. My heart hammered against my chest at his expression. “I-It doesn’t matter now.”

  For a second, I thought I’d caught a glimpse of forever in his eyes—beautiful and just out of reach. I leaned in, unnerved and entranced at the same time. It all made sense now. What my mother had meant when she said when I fell in love, I would just know.

  I knew.

  I finally freakin’ knew.

  It resonated in my heart and pulsed through my veins. Wallace had caused something to change within me, and I hadn’t even realized it. “I…love you,” I whispered, still in shock.

  Sure, I’d yelled it before in desperation—trying to force my feelings to save him—but it hadn’t been the same. This was the gritty, sick to your stomach, kind of confession that left you empty and whole at the same time. I couldn’t begin to describe it.

  The band on my arm burned. I wanted more than tonight, more than forever. The joy, the pain, and everything in between. I wanted that.

  With painstaking care, he cupped the side of my face and stroked his thumb over my cheek. “I love you, too.” The moment hung in the air as he stared into my eyes, before pressing his lips to mine—a loving prelude to the life I knew we’d both been imagining. Maybe it would never come to pass, but it was a delusion worth paying homage to.

  I lay there breathing in his scent, memorizing the hard contours of his chest with my hands. Our worlds were blending into one, and I was doing everything in my power to savor it. We both knew it wouldn’t last long.

  Wallace couldn’t quell his anxiety. Each skin-searing touch carried an undercurrent of guilt neither one of us could ignore. Soon, we’d be forced to part, too tired to push any boundaries.

  I didn’t mind, though. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew it would be better for both of us in the long run. We had to work up to that level of trust—not just in each other, but in his ability to control his strength. Until then, we’d have to cherish what we had. What we’d already worked up to.

  He smiled against my mouth and pulled away. “We’d probably better…”

  “Yeah.” I carefully extracted myself from his possession, clutching the towel to my chest as I stood. “Goodnight, Wallace.”

  Wistful eyes traced my every move as he leaned toward the nightstand, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. “Goodnight.”

  I had barely pulled the sheets up around my chest, when something shattered and the room plunged into darkness. Don’t tell me. “Wallace?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are we going to have to pay for a light in the morning?”

  “No.” He hesitated for a moment. “But Cole is.”

  I couldn’t keep the laughter from spilling out, shaking the mattress. A few seconds ticked by and he joined me, snickering under his breath at the ridiculousness of our situation. We lay there in the dark, laughing like we hadn’t just escaped death, like we wouldn’t have to cheat it again tomorrow and every day after.

  Maybe Wallace was right about the bond. It did change me—for the better.

  All because I fell in love with a madman.