by Bella J
I frowned. “About what?”
“About what we do.”
“Dealing with illegal weapons?”
He nodded, still staring at the napkin on the table.
I shifted in my seat. “I don’t think I’m in a position to feel anything when it comes to that.”
“Are you saying it doesn’t bother you?”
“I’m saying I choose to keep my opinion to myself…for now.”
For the first time in what seemed like hours he looked at me. His eyes, his face, he was completely unreadable. Nothing about the way he stared at me gave me any clue as to what was going on inside his head.
He stood up from his chair, and my heart felt like it was about to crack through my ribs. With slow, yet confident steps he started to walk around the table dragging his fingers across the white tablecloth.
“I warned you the day I killed Nicollo to not mistake me for the hero.”
My heart beat wildly as I watched his every move. He stopped at the end of the table, picking up a silver knife. “I told you I was the villain, the monster.” He brushed the pad of this thumb across the blade of the knife, then looked at me from across the table. “Did you think I was lying?”
With my hands on my lap, I nervously tangled my fingers together. “I don’t remember what I was thinking.”
“What do you remember?”
“I remember feeling relieved. Thankful that you saved me from an even worse fate.”
“Worse than what?”
I swallowed hard, not knowing if I had the right answer to that.
“Worse than what, little mouse?”
I scraped together the courage and looked up at him “Worse than being your prisoner. Worse than being chained, naked, and beaten in front of a room full of men whose eyes showed the depths of their hatred for me.”
Slowly he started toward me. “Oh yes. That was the day you begged me not to leave you. The day you said you felt safer with me than with the rest of the men there.”
He stopped behind me, and I sucked in a breath when chills danced across my skin, my entire body hyper aware of the man towering over me. No matter how much I feared him, how much dread he evoked inside me, the lust and the desire he stirred within me was always stronger—more compelling.
I felt the cold sting of stainless steel against the skin of my neck, and I closed my eyes listening to the rampant beating of my heart.
“I warned you that day too, didn’t I, little mouse?”
“Warned me about what?”
Slowly he dragged the edge of the knife across my throat. I swallowed, and the movement made the blade press harder against my skin.
“I warned you not to feel safe with me.”
“And look what happened after that.” I kept my eyes shut as I felt him pull the blade across the pulsing vein at the side of my neck. One wrong move, just one flick of his wrist and he could end me. It would only take the time of a single breath for him to kill me, to let my blood seep out of my body. But instead of feeling terrified by the thought, I felt exhilarated. My body didn’t react with any kind of fight or flight instinct, only a desire that both thrilled and alarmed me. Why am I not scared? Is it because I trust him?
The sharp point of the knife pressed deeper into my skin. “And what exactly happened after that?” His voice sounded deep, low…dangerous.
“Everything changed.”
“Maybe you’re being foolish to believe that.”
I knew I was playing Russian roulette with the devil, but my shadowed soul loved the game.
I cleared my throat softly. “You killed a man. You pressed a gun against your cousin’s skull and pulled the trigger, painting my prison walls with his blood in order to keep me from being raped. Tell me, Castello, was there even a second that you regretted doing that? That you regretted pulling that trigger?”
The only answer he gave me was his silence.
I took a deep breath. “And your mother? The woman who gave birth to you. You killed her. You took her life to save mine. Twice, Castello. Twice you pulled the trigger for me, killing your own flesh and blood, so how can you expect me to believe that nothing has changed?”
As the last word left my mouth, I felt the blade pierce my skin. Pain seared my flesh, and I gasped when he wrapped his hand around my throat.
He leaned down, his lips inches from my ear. “Just because I killed for you doesn’t mean you’re safe with me.”
I turned my face toward him. “To me it means I’m safer nowhere else.”
Our gazes remained locked. His eyes were cold, his expression hard, but I tried my best not to feel intimidated by him in that moment. “I know what you’re trying to do, Castello, and it’s not going to work.”
His grip around my throat tightened. “And what is it that I’m doing?”
I brought my hand up to the spot where his knife had nicked my skin, and wiped the blood with my finger. “You’re trying to make me fear the beast inside you more than I lust for it.” I placed my hand against his cheek, and smeared the drop of my blood over his lips. “But as you’ve said before…it’s my blood that feeds the beast inside you.”
His tongue flicked out, wiping away the crimson on his lips, causing every muscle inside my core to tighten.
“You’re wrong, little mouse. I’m not trying to make you fear it. I’m forcing you to embrace it.” He leaned closer, and I could smell the metallic scent of my blood on his lips.
“Why?” I whispered softly.
He smiled, and it was the kind of smile you’d expect from the devil. Confident, yet arrogant. Bewitching, yet threatening. Castello was every ounce of bad he had claimed to be…but right now, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
He placed the cold, hard steel of the knife against my lips. “Because you’re my addiction, Tatum. My obsession. I’m not letting you go, and neither is the beast inside me.”
My skin was instantly electrified, my mind reeling with his words, my body whimpering with the need to be touched by him. Was I so far gone that such dark words made me lust for the wickedness that pulsed through his veins, waking the blackness I’ve always known hid deep inside the depths of my soul? The more time I spent with him, the more I embraced the side of me I kept hidden for so long. The easier it became to just give in to every sinful desire, every dirty fantasy I’ve ever had. And God help me, but hearing how his possessiveness over me coated his every word made me want him even more.
He dragged the knife across my cheeks, and I pressed my flesh deeper against the blade.
“And what makes you think I want you to let me go, Castello?”
“I don’t think you know what you want.”
“Is that why you won’t give me the chance to decide for myself? Why you refuse to give me the freedom to make my own choices?”
The knife was back over my mouth. “The only choice you need to concern yourself with right now is how to please me.”
If there was one thing I’ve learned during the time I’ve spent with him, it was how to please him. All I had to do was accept who I truly was, and embrace the part of me that yearned for the dark. That was how I pleased him…how he pleased me.
With the knife still against my lips, I gently eased my tongue along the sharp edge. I kept my gaze on him as he watched with eyes that seemed possessed with feral hunger. It was there, written on every inch of his face, the need…the want…the desire. His strong body that towered over me started to ooze with lust he tried so fucking hard to contain. But by the look in his eyes, the dark hunger that swirled within his chocolate irises, I knew that just like me, it wasn’t something he could control. The energy that constantly buzzed between us only grew stronger. Our most primal instinct was to fuck, the crackle of sexual tension between us a constant reminder of that. It was only a matter of time before we would once again give in.
I licked my lips, never taking my gaze off his. “Have I not pleased you…sir?”
His lips pulled up in an amused grin
. “You still have lots to learn my little pet. But lucky for you I’m one patient man.” Slowly he dragged the edge of the knife from my lips, over my chin, down my neck. I leaned my head back offering him more of me, placing my life in his hands. He pressed down, and the tip of the knife pricked my skin over the hollow below my throat.
I flinched and gasped as the sting of pain instantly morphed into a desire that had me clenching my thighs to get some relief from the ache that throbbed with need between my legs.
Keeping the knife against my throat, he leaned in and traced the tip of his tongue all the way up my jaw. “You like to bleed for me, don’t you, little mouse?” His warm breath against my ear made me shiver. “I like when you bleed for me. They say a person’s soul is in their blood. And when I see the crimson slowly trickle out of your body while your face paints the perfect picture of desire, I know that your soul is mine. And do you know how that makes me feel?”
I swallowed and felt the blade inch deeper into my skin. “How?”
“Like I’m the most powerful bastard in the whole fucking world.”
His lips crashed against mine, his tongue forcing its way inside as it eagerly rushed to assault every corner of my mouth. I was lost in him. Utterly spellbound by how damn good it felt to be so completely possessed by a man who made every bone in my body burn and ache for sinful pleasures.
I whimpered as he tore his lips from mine. I haven’t tasted him nearly enough.
He pressed the knife against my chin and forced me to look up at him. “You know your body can’t lie to me. You can’t lie to me. I see you, Tatum. You might not know, but I do. I know what you need, and once I’m done, you will have exactly that.”
9
TATUM
As we walked down the hall, I couldn’t help but wonder what Castello meant by saying he knew exactly what I needed. It wasn’t the first time he said it, but I’ve been under the impression he meant it sexually. That he knew what I needed when it came to sex. But after he said it again this morning, I got the feeling I was wrong. He meant something else…I just couldn’t figure out what.
I glanced up at him. He had that tick in his jaw again, hard lines forming across his face. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was nervous.
“Where are we going?” I looked down, staring at the wooden floors.
He pulled his hand down his face, looking a little unsettled. “My father used to say it’s always better to pull the plaster right off.”
Now I was getting nervous. “Okay?”
He stopped in front of a door, and his intense gaze pinned me on the spot. “If you’re going to become a part of my world, I need to prepare you the best I can.”
“Prepare me for what?”
His eyes searched all around us, as if he was trying to find the right words. He sighed. “We do what we need to survive. And sometimes that requires us to be…monsters.”
I stepped closer. “Castello, what are you trying to say?”
“What I’m trying to say is, that no matter what happens, you need to trust me. I need to know you trust me.” He looked at me pleadingly, his gaze etched on mine. Something bad was about to happen. I could feel it in every bone of my body. It was the same feeling I felt when Castello dragged me to that dreaded dining hall where I was put on display like a goddamn animal. Back then, I didn’t trust him. The question is…did I trust him now?
“Can you do that, Tatum? Can you trust me?”
I searched his face, trying to make sense of the jumbled mess my mind had become. There wasn’t a coherent thought inside my head when it came to this man—when it came to how I felt about him…about us. But after everything that’s happened something clawed and scraped at the back of my mind, urging me to trust him.
“Yes,” I whispered, and it was like a veil of relief fell over him.
“Good.”
He opened the door, and I stepped inside. When I saw the scene in front of me, I balked, and could hear every beat of my heart echoing through my head.
“What is going on?”
I stared with apprehension at a man tied to a chair. Blood dripped from his nose, the tape covering his mouth stained with crimson. The fear in his eyes was something no one would have been able to miss. He was completely naked, his wrists and ankles tied to the chair. His hands and feet were stained with blood from trying to free himself.
There was a soft touch at the hollow of my back. “This is where we become monsters, Tatum.”
I shot my gaze up to Castello’s, staring at him as a thousand questions ran through my mind.
He straightened the lapels of his jacket, and it was like he pulled on the mask of a man who had no fear, someone who exuded authority, demanding the respect of every one that stood in his presence. He wore the face of the man I met when I woke up in a cell, dressed in a rag.
Uncle Gino was there along with four other men, guns at their sides, demonic looks on their faces. I recognized one other man. It was the same man who was there the first time I saw Castello. The man he referred to as ‘Doc,’ the man who pushed a needle into my skin.
That same gnawing instinct that urged me to trust Castello now warned me I wasn’t going to like whatever was about to happen.
Castello moved to stand in front of me, his back toward the rest of the crowd. “You will not say a word unless spoken to. I’m breaking a lot of rules by having you here, don’t make me regret it.”
“I don’t want to be here,” I blurted out with panic. Every instinct I had told me I most definitely did not want to be there.
He stepped closer. “I want you here.”
“Why?”
“It’s the only way.”
“The only way for what?” But Castello had already turned around, abruptly ending our conversation.
I swallowed hard as I braved another look at the man tied to a goddamn chair. By the bruises and the blood on his face, he had already been beaten. He looked like…he looked like my father did…just before Vico killed him.
“Tell me, Ricardo, do you know why you’re here today?” Castello’s voice was hard, low, and intimidating as hell. No wonder the man was trembling.
The man frantically shook his head, muffled moans coming from behind the tape covering his mouth.
Castello stopped in front of him, reached out, and ripped the tape off his mouth. The sound sent chills down my spine as I watched the skin around Ricardo’s lips turn a dark shade of red.
Castello dropped the piece of tape to the floor. “Talk.”
“I…I…I don’t—”
Castello slapped him through the face, his head jerking to the side. I yelped softly as the crack burst through the room with sickening force.
Castello grabbed his chin and made the man look at him. “Now let’s try again. And this time, don’t stutter. Do you know why you’re here?”
“No.” Ricardo leaned to the side and spat out a mouth of blood before turning back to Castello. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“So the stories I’ve heard of you helping my little brother aren’t true?”
Instantly Ricardo paled as if he had seen a ghost. “Of course they’re not true.”
Castello started to pace around him again, his shoulders squared, confidence radiating from him like rays of sunlight. “Then it wasn’t you who arranged the little get-together between Vico and our Mexican supplier?”
“What? Of course not.”
“So, you’re calling my Uncle Gino a liar then?” Castello stopped in front of him, his gaze never leaving Ricardo. “According to my uncle, you’re the snitch who has been paid very handsomely by my brother for setting up the meeting.”
Ricardo’s eyes darted toward where Uncle Gino was standing. Uncle Gino had the same hard look on his face as Castello. And with no other light in the room besides a lonely light bulb hanging from the ceiling, cruel shadows fell onto the lines of their faces.
Ricardo started to frantically shake his head. “It wasn’t me. I
swear to fucking God, it wasn’t me.”
Castello held his arms out wide. “Well then, it seems we’re done here.” He turned around, and Ricardo seemed to sag in his chair with relief. Even I felt slightly relieved, but by the way Castello’s entire demeanor darkened, screaming of anger and malicious intent, I knew the relief would be short-lived.
“Oh yes,” Castello started before turning back to Ricardo holding his phone out toward him. “There is this issue of you being photographed collecting your payment from one of Vico’s men.”
I narrowed my eyes and stepped slightly closer to try and see the picture Castello was referring to.
Ricardo stared at the phone for ten seconds, then started to fight against his restraints. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Castello. It won’t happen again. I needed the money to pay off some debts. But it was a one-time deal, I fucking swear.”
Oh God.
Castello put his phone back in his jacket pocket, seemingly unaffected by Ricardo’s confession and begging.
“Castello, please. I swear to God it won’t happen again—”
Castello swung his fist straight into Ricardo’s face, and I heard the distinct sound of bone breaking. I flinched, closing my eyes for two seconds. When I opened them Ricardo’s face was covered in blood from a cut just above his left eye.
By the way Castello’s jaw clenched, I knew the monster was about to come out.
“Did you not lay down the oath? Did you not swear your loyalty to this family? Did you not vow to follow me the day my little brother decided to stand against me?”
“I did. Yes, I did. I’m sorry, Castello. Please believe me when I say I will never ever betray you again.”
Castello leaned forward, and Ricardo stared at him as if he were the devil himself. I stared at him as if he was the devil.
“The punishment of such betrayal is death.”
“Please, no!” Ricardo started to weep, his beaten face contorted with fear.
Castello straightened and looked my way. “Unless she decides to spare your life.”