by Bella J
My heart dropped, my gut instantly feeling like it had been filled with concrete. “What?”
Castello kept my gaze. “What do you say, Tatum? Should I be merciful and spare Ricardo’s life?”
“Oh God, please,” Ricardo started to beg again, only this time his pleading words were aimed at me. “Please don’t let him kill me. Please, God no.”
There were too many thoughts inside my mind shouting, screaming while the sound of my own heartbeat resounded in my head like a fucking jackhammer.
“What are you doing, Castello?”
“I’m asking you whether or not you want me to spare his life.”
I lightly shook my head. It felt like the world around me was starting to spin out of control.
I glanced from Castello to the panicking Ricardo. Why was Castello doing this? Why would he leave such a decision up to me?
I looked back at Castello. “You know I don’t want to see anyone die.”
“So you want me to spare his life? After he betrayed me?”
My lungs started to constrict inside my chest as my breathing became shallower by the second. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He started toward me, still wearing the mask he had pulled on the second we walked into this room.
“Do you think this man deserves a second chance?”
“Don’t we all?”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “And what if I told you that betraying me, helping my brother plot against me isn’t his only crime?”
I kept his gaze, refusing to cower away from him. “I don’t care about what he’s done. Death can atone for nothing.”
He cocked his head to the side. “And why do you think death can’t atone for anything?”
“Because when the guilty is dead, they feel nothing. Only the living left behind carries the weight of an injustice done unto them.”
The way his mouth pulled up at the corners made me think he already knew. He expected me to say no to killing this man.
He stopped two feet away from me. “Do you remember when Vico killed your father? Murdered him in cold blood?”
Anger raged. “Of course I do.”
“Do you remember what it sounded like, the sound of the gun as Vico pulled the trigger?”
I clenched my teeth. “What are you doing, Castello?”
“Do you remember the scent of your father’s blood as it dripped on the floor?”
“Stop.”
He stepped closer. “Do you remember what it felt like watching the life drain out of your father’s body, knowing there was nothing you can do to save him?”
Tears blurred my vision while pain seared the inside of my chest. I closed my eyes, desperate to get rid of the images Castello was causing to pour back into my mind.
“Do you remember what your father looked like as he took his last breath?”
“Please stop!”
He grabbed my arms and jerked me closer. “Do you remember the smug grin on my cunt of a brother’s face after he pulled that trigger? After he killed your father?”
God! “Yes! Yes, I remember!” Tears streamed down my face, the image of my father’s lifeless body next to a gloating Vico finally tearing my soul in two.
“Good!” Castello jerked me once more. “Look at me.”
I continued to sob.
“I said look at me!”
I opened my eyes, and stared into his.
“Remember that pain, Tatum. Remember that image of your father as he died in that chair.”
“Why?” I whispered between clenched teeth.
“Because that pain you feel whenever you think of that exact moment is what’s going to make you stronger. It’s going to motivate you.”
“Motivate me for what?”
He placed his palm against my cheek, his thumb gently rubbing against my bottom lip.
“Revenge.”
I searched his face while I struggled to keep the pain and the rage contained.
“This man—” Castello pointed toward Ricardo“—he was the one that brought your father to Vico and my mother. He was the man that beat your father so hard there were no bones left in his face to break.”
My body became heavy, my mind reeling with every word Castello spoke as I glanced from him to Ricardo in disbelief.
“Ricardo was the man that tied your father to the same chair he died in. This man you want me to show mercy to had a role in your father’s death.”
He let go of my arms, and my legs felt as if they could give way beneath me at any moment. I stared at Ricardo. “Is it true?”
He remained still.
“Is it true?” I yelled, and he only flinched without saying a word.
Funny, a few minutes ago he couldn’t shut up as he tried to beg for his life. But now he was as silent as a mouse—a little mouse.
Castello walked over to Ricardo and pulled out his gun, aiming it at Ricardo’s head.
“Tell me, Tatum. Do you still believe that death can atone for nothing?”
Over and over I imagined my father’s lifeless body. Every night that exact image was the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes. It was also the first thing I saw when I woke up. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop my mind from reliving those few seconds over, and over, and over again.
But now, as I stood in front of a man that played such an important part in the nightmare I was forced to relive every day, the thought of him dying actually felt like it had the strength to numb the pain. Slowly I started to replace the images of my dead father with images of a dead Ricardo…and it made me feel stronger.
“It’s time for your final verdict, Tatum.” Castello pressed the nozzle of the gun against Ricardo’s forehead. Ricardo closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face, as snot spat from his nostrils.
Castello released the safety of his gun, and Ricardo sobbed while he pissed himself.
My heart hammered, but it wasn’t because of fear. It was because I knew what I wanted, what I needed.
What I needed…
I snapped my gaze up to Castello. That’s what he meant. That’s what he meant when he said he knew what I needed.
He nodded as if he could hear my every thought, as if he knew I had pieced it together.
I took a deep breath, and kept my eyes on Castello’s face. “Kill him.”
Castello pulled the trigger, and the deafening sound of death filled my ears. I closed my eyes and felt something I never thought I’d feel over the death of another human being…relief.
10
CASTELLO
I pulled the trigger, executing the traitorous motherfucker. It was the only way. It was our way. You live by the gun and the knife…and you die by the gun and the knife. Tatum needed to witness this, to learn our ways if I wanted her to thrive at my side. She might not have known it yet, but I saw it in her soul, the darkness which had the undeniable potential to turn her into a powerful woman—my woman.
Ricardo, the fucker, he was lucky. If it weren’t for Tatum being here, I would have tortured his fucking ass. So in whatever corner of hell he was burning right now, he could thank God I gave him a merciful death.
I kept my gaze on Tatum, scrutinizing every contour of her face. What was she thinking? How was she feeling about what just happened?
I pushed her. I forced her to relive that godawful moment. I made her feel that pain all over again. But it had to be done. She had to feel the anger, the rage, the bone numbing ache of witnessing her father die. It was the only way I could make her tap into the deepest, darkest part of her that demanded revenge.
Every goddamn night I had to listen to her moan and cry in her sleep. I knew it was her father’s image that plagued her nightmares. The blood. The death. The loss. And after yesterday, finding her in the bathroom on the floor slicing her skin, I knew she needed a way to let the pain drain out of her soul. That’s why I brought her here today. That’s the reason I made her pass judgement on the fucker who now had a
bullet in his head. I was certain the sweet taste of revenge would calm her soul, it would comfort her, strengthen her. She just needed someone to push her, to force her into taking that leap, and that’s what I did. I made her take the leap.
Her eyes opened, and she stared right at me. I could see the rage storming in the depths of her blue eyes. The hate, the hurt, the pain, it was all there. But I also saw determination burning like a newly lit fire, the flaming sparks threatening to scald whoever came in its path. It was goddamn poetic to see innocence turn into fierceness. To tell the truth, it was turning me the fuck on.
“We’re done here.” I placed my gun at my side and walked over to her, wrapping my arm around her waist.
As I ushered her out she kept looking over her shoulder at the dead body. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. Almost as if she needed to make she would never forget the sight, the justice that had been done. Only when we were out in the hall and I closed the door did she look at me.
I took her face between my palms. “It had to be done.”
“I know.” There was no animosity or pain in her words. Everything about her seemed eerily calm.
I took her hand in mine. “I think you should rest.”
Maybe she was acting so calmly because she might be in shock. It wasn’t the first time she witnessed someone die. But it was the first time she was the one who passed judgement.
Getting her back to our bedroom, a place she had seen as her safe zone was what she needed. Yes, I pushed her, but now I needed to take care of her.
She remained quiet as we walked up the stairs, keeping her gaze straight ahead. Perhaps I had pushed her too far? But wasn’t that the best way to learn how to swim—to get shoved in the deep end? There was no better way to test your strength than to be placed in a situation which demanded you survive…or die.
We reached our bedroom, and Tatum walked in first. I closed the door behind me still wondering if I had gotten it all wrong.
“Tatum—”
“Thank you.”
I turned around slowly, narrowing my eyes, staring at her as she stood a few feet away.
“Thank you, Castello. Thank you for knowing what I needed, even though I didn’t.”
I searched her face, studied her eyes, but there was no trace of tears, or regret. “Are you okay?”
She smiled. She actually fucking smiled, and it reached all the way to her eyes. “I’m more than okay. It scares me, knowing that witnessing a man die makes me feel…okay. But it also makes me feel like I finally have—”
“Control?”
She bit her bottom lip before answering, “Yes.”
Jesus Christ. How did I ever think she wouldn’t be strong enough? Now, while I stared at this beautiful creature in front of me, her eyes wild, beaming with life and strength, her face painted with newfound energy, I knew she was right where she was meant to be. By my side.
My body started to hum with a carnal desire, an uncontrollable need to take her. My cock was hard, my mind filled with nothing but images of her naked body beneath me, screaming my name while I fucked a whole lot of mind-numbing pleasure into her.
I slowly started toward her. “I told you, Tatum, you need to trust me because I know what you need.”
She stared at me with her blue eyes, and the brilliance that used to sparkle within those irises were back. “How?” she whispered softly.
I stopped right in front of her, my gaze never leaving hers. “Because I was there. I had that same need inside me once.”
Her eyes searched mine, her mouth parted slightly. “Carlo. You needed revenge for Carlo’s death.”
I didn’t reply. I didn’t have to. The answer was already there, filling the space between us like thick smoke.
She slanted her head to the side, her beautiful streaks of golden hair falling around her shoulder. “You needed revenge for your brother’s death, and that’s why you had me kidnapped. That’s why you plotted against my family…because it was the only way you could break through the wall of grief. Grief that had the power to destroy you.”
There was no judgement in her eyes while she spoke every word, no hostility or hatred as she figured out the motive behind the decisions I made in the past. The way she looked at me was as if she finally understood, as if my reason for wanting to ruin her life no longer seemed cruel to her.
She stepped closer, her sweet scent surrounding me, aggravating my already greedy cock.
“But something changed. Something happened, and it had the power to break through that wall you had without killing me.” Her soft palm came up to my cheek. “What changed, Castello? What was it that made you think I was worth more to your sanity alive, than dead?”
For the first time in my life I felt the ugliness of self-doubt. For the first time my chest felt so damn tight that I could hardly take a decent breath. Within a split second my confidence had forsaken me, making me feel naked and exposed. I despised the feeling. I hated it. The tidal wave of vulnerability that crashed against my being made me feel weak. She made me feel weak. Why? Because of the words that demanded to be spoken.
I placed my hand over hers, squeezing it tight. “Because, Tatum. I realized killing you won’t save me…but loving you will.”
The second those words left my heart and spilled out of my mouth, the veil that had been the last obstacle between us, that kept us both from realizing our souls were meant to be one tore in half. It was like a weight had been lifted, and the confusion I had felt ever since Tatum came crashing into my life was gone. And by the way she stared at me with her tender gaze, caressing my skin, I knew she felt the same.
I pulled her against me and kissed her like I’ve never kissed her before. Everything I felt right then had me overcome with so many emotions, my heart wanted to explode. Was I in love with, Tatum Linscott?
Of course you are, dumb ass. You just said it out loud.
The soft whimpers she made as our tongues danced together in one rush of need made my chest ache as I longed for her in a way I’ve never longed for any other woman. Her body was no longer the one thing I desired the most…I wanted all of her, and I wanted it for the rest of my fucking life.
I moaned in protest as she pulled her lips from mine. I wasn’t done. I wanted more…so much more…and I wanted it now.
“Castello.”
“Shhh, little mouse. Let me have you.” I tried to pull her closer, but she pressed her hands against my chest.
“Castello, I’m not feeling too good.”
“It’s just the shock, baby.” I leaned down, wanting to feel her lips against mine. “Let me make you feel good.”
Her hands were still on my chest, and she jerked her head to side. “Castello, stop. Something’s wrong.”
Her voice sounded shaky, and I grabbed her face in my hands. She was as pale as a ghost.
“Tatum, what’s wrong.”
“I…I don’t—”
Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and then her entire body went limp. I wrapped my arms around her and carried her over to the bed.
“Tatum! Tatum, wake up! Jesus.”
Fuck!
I ran to the bedroom door and swung it open. “Someone call Doc, now!”
11
TATUM
The sound of faraway voices started to slowly drag me back to reality.
“What’s wrong with her, Doc?”
“I’m not sure. But her vitals seem fine. It might be stress.”
“Stress?”
“She’s been through a hell of an ordeal, Castello. It was only a matter of time for her brain to call for a time-out.”
“Time-out? Is that what you call just collapsing without any apparent reason? A time-fucking-out?”
“Castello, try to relax. Everything seems fine. She just needs to rest.”
The door closed, and I finally managed to open my eyes.
“Castello?”
“Tatum.”
I felt his warm hand cover mine, and it instant
ly comforted me, knowing he was there at my side.
“How are you feeling?”
How was I feeling? I wasn’t sure. “What happened?”
He sat down on the bed next to me. “You fainted.”
“Fainted?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
I glanced up at the roof, my mind jumping around, trying to grab hold of a memory.
“Um…I remember breakfast.” Bacon. A knife against my throat.
“What else?”
I closed my eyes. “Ricardo.” Red. Death. Revenge. Relief.
I opened my eyes and looked at Castello. He stared at me wide-eyed as words softly hummed through my mind. “Killing you won’t save me…but loving you will.”
Did he really say that? Did Castello Fattore tell me he loved me? Surely that couldn’t be true. I knew there was some sort of connection between us, but love? How could what started out as a sick, twisted vendetta turn into something as sacred and innocent as love? It wasn’t possible. I must have dreamed hearing those words come out of his mouth.
Castello placed his hand on my shoulder before pulling his fingers through my hair. “What happened when you fainted?”
“I’m not sure. I remember feeling dizzy, sick to my stomach, and then…nothing.”
“Doc reckons it’s stress, exhaustion. I don’t know what fucking else.”
There was a clear tone of worry in his voice, and the way his eyes searched every part of my face was as if he was trying to convince himself I was fine.
I took his hand as it reached the ends of my hair. “I’m fine, Castello. I’m sure Doc is right. I just need some rest.”
He leaned down, and placed his lips hard against my forehead, kissing my skin. “You scared the living shit out of me, Tatum.”
I smiled. “Don’t tell me you were worried about me…sir?”
He scoffed. “That is not even remotely funny.” He got up from the bed straightening his jacket, once again wearing the confidence of a Fattore man. “I’m going to arrange for some food to be sent up, and then I don’t want you to move from this fucking bed. Is that clear?”