by Bella J
But I had to prepare her for a life with me, for a life with a man who could easily slip from lover to monster. Our lifestyle demanded I be ruthless, merciless, cunning and heartless. So I needed to make her look past the monster, past the cold-blooded bastard in me. And in order for me to do that I had to make her see the outer layer of innocence she wore so well needed to be hidden. The broken parts of her might never mend, but I would teach her, show her how to use her brokenness and turn it in to a strength that would guarantee her survival. A strength that would give her the kind of power she was born to have. This was why I needed to push her past her limits. I had to make her realize how strong she truly was, build her up to a place where she no longer had to fear anything. But in order for me to do that, I had to break her…completely.
19
TATUM
The trembling wouldn’t stop. Electric currents kept shocking through my veins as everything between my legs throbbed with release. His tongue felt like velvet against my sensitive flesh, and the warmth of his mouth felt incredible as he lapped and sucked, milking an orgasm out of my body. When he had his head between my legs, his mouth devouring every inch of me, I wanted to push my body up to give him more of me to taste. But the four chains attached to my collar made it impossible. So all I could do was rock my hips as my body became desperate for release.
Every muscle went numb, like all the strength had drained from my body. But I knew he wasn’t done with me. It was too easy, too simple. Nothing with Castello was easy or simple.
The mattress moved, and I tried to listen to figure out where he was, what he was doing. Then I heard the clanking of the chains, and felt the faintest movement from the collar around my neck. More sounding of chains, until finally I could feel I was no longer bound to the four bedposts.
Just as I wanted to fall back, to allow my body the rest it needed, Castello grabbed the collar and jerked me upright.
“Not so fast. We’re not done.”
“I just need five minutes,” I pleaded.
“Not yet. You can rest when I say you can.”
Abruptly he pulled me forward by the collar, and I fell face first against the mattress. My hands were tied behind my back, and the blindfold still secure. Nervous anticipation bloomed inside my stomach, and even after the mind shattering release I had just had, my body started to hum again, my skin tingling with the need to be touched.
Castello placed his hand beneath my chin lifting my head, and I heard the clasp of the chain realizing what the purpose was of the fifth ring on the collar. I tried to pull myself back up, but the chain held me in place…head on the mattress, and ass in the air.
“Are you comfortable, little mouse?”
“No.”
“Good.”
I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Remember, you trust me.”
My heart skipped a beat. “You’re scaring me by saying that every ten minutes.”
“I’m saying it every ten minutes to make sure you don’t forget it. Especially because of what I’m about to do next.”
“What are you about to do?”
My words weren’t even cold when the first lash landed against my ass. It wasn’t so much the pain as it was the surprise that made me cry out. Only when the burn on my skin started to intensify did I recognize the pain…the pain caused by a belt.
“Castello—”
Another whip, and crack followed. This time I bit into my lower lip, trying to swallow the cry of pain that wanted to force itself out of my throat.
I felt his breath against the side of my face. “Forgive me,” he whispered, and I could hear the regret in his voice.
“Castello, please.”
“For you to conquer your demons, you need to face them, little mouse.”
And then his face was gone, another lash against my body.
“I need you to go back,” he ordered.
“Go back where?”
“Go back to that night. The night I had you chained from the dining hall ceiling. The night I gave my brother permission to torture you.”
I tried to shake my head, my cheek rubbing against the silk of the sheets. “I can’t. I don’t want to go back.”
“You have to.”
I heard the belt slice through the air, and then pain seared my skin. This time I cried out, but then his hand was on my burning flesh, gently rubbing in circles. Pleasure and pain, two things that followed Castello and I wherever we went. It was something we would never escape.
“Do you remember what was going through your head that night?”
I took a deep breath. “I was scared.”
“What else?” His hand dipped between my legs, softly teasing my sensitive flesh before dragging his fingers all the way up the slit of my ass.
Again…pleasure and pain.
“I remember hoping you would save me.”
“After I was the one that put you there?”
Images flashed through my mind like flashcards straight from hell. “I wanted you to save me.”
Fingertips travelled over my tied hands and up my spine, sending shivers throughout my body. “Do you know what I was thinking as you hung there naked and vulnerable?”
Did I want to know? I kept quiet.
He twisted my ponytail around his fist. “I sat at the table next to my mother, listening to her stressing the importance of you dying. I sat there listening to every hateful word she had to say about you, and all I could think about was how you would look hanging from the ceiling of my bedroom, naked, and for my eyes only.”
I swallowed, his mother’s face popping up inside my head like a virus. Would I ever forget the hate I saw in her eyes that night, right before she tried to slit my throat?
Abruptly he pulled my head back, and my muscles protested as the chain held my head in place. His cheek pressed against mine. “That was the moment I realized killing you would no longer be as easy as I imagined it would be.”
He let go of my hair and my head fell forward just before I felt the sting of the belt across my upper back.
The pain triggered it all. The familiar sting on my back made all the memories come back. Until now Castello knew my back was a hard limit for me because of what Vico had done. Because of the abuse I endured, the humiliation.
“Castello, what are you doing?”
Another lash, and tears sprung from my eyes, only to be soaked up by the silk blindfold.
“I need to break you, little mouse. That’s the only way you will be strong enough to survive me.”
A gentle finger traced over the spot the belt had collided with my back. “I need you to acknowledge your pain.”
“Why?”
“Because only then will you be able to turn your pain into power.”
Two more lashes across my back, cracking against the sensitive flesh of my arms. The pain was indescribable, just like it was that night.
That night…
Vico’s dark eyes…
His hateful words.
Everything rushed back, and I could no longer control the memories or the fear that came with it.
“Tell me, Tatum,” he urged while his palm caressed my skin once more. “Tell me what you feel when you think about my brother.”
“I hate him,” I bit out between clenched teeth. “I hate him.”
“Why?”
“Because he hurt me.”
“I hurt you, too.”
“That was different.”
“How? How was it different?”
I turned my head in the direction of his voice, the blindfold casting my world in utter darkness. “Because even though you hurt me, I could see in your eyes that it wasn’t out of hate.”
“Then why? Why do you think I hurt you?”
I licked my lips. “Lust, hunger. The same reason I wanted to be hurt by you. Why I want to be hurt by you.”
Silence settled around us. I tried to listen for any noise, any shuffling of feet. But nothing. It was a heavy
silence. Palpable. Then the sound of the belt striking my flesh sliced through the silence. I cringed and squirmed trying to get rid of the burn that intensified with every lash.
“Do you see his face? Can you see the bloodlust marring his features? I do. I see it. I see it every fucking night when I close my eyes, the way his eyes beamed with pleasure while he hurt you. It haunts me, you know? It haunts me every fucking day for allowing him to do that to you.”
Another strike, and Vico’s evil face became clear inside my mind. The longer I focused on his face, the less I felt the pain. The longer I kept his dark, evil eyes in the center of my thoughts, the more my hate for him intensified. It started to boil, searing my veins from the inside. The hate, the resentment, the need for revenge.
“I don’t blame you,” I murmured.
“You should. If I didn’t have you kidnapped, if I didn’t fall for my mother and brother’s lies, you would be out there in the world living your happy life.”
“But I am.”
“What do you mean?”
I swallowed hard, my throat dry. “I am living my life…with you.”
“But you have lost so much because of me.”
“That might be true, but I’ve found more than I ever thought possible because of you.” My mind shifted from Vico’s face to the two pink lines that changed everything. And then it occurred to me, what would Vico do if he had to find out I was carrying Fattore blood inside me? If he hated me so much, what would he feel toward a child who was a result of me and Castello being together?
I startled when Castello started to untie my hands. What was he doing? I knew he wasn’t done yet. He was trying to do the same thing as he did with Ricardo. He wanted me to tap into every bad feeling I’ve experienced since all of this started. Castello was trying to make me strong by letting me grab hold of the hate that would guarantee my survival.
When my hands were free I instinctively wrapped them around my stomach. I was still chained, my face buried in the mattress.
“Why are you stopping?” I murmured. “I know you’re not done.”
He pulled the blindfold off, and I squinted as my sight got used to seeing light again.
Our gazes met. “You’re right. I’m not done, and neither are you.”
My gaze followed him as he walked to the front of the bed, kneeling down so he could look me in the eye. “Too many lies have surrounded you, Tatum. Lies destroyed us both, but I swear to God I will make it right. But I need you to hold on to the hate you feel for my brother. It’s the only way I’ll be able to make this right for you.”
His dark eyes softened, and I looked straight at the elongated pupil, the uniqueness of his soul shining through it. I no longer saw the scar on his face. All I saw was a man I had fallen deeply in love with. A man who seemed more determined than ever to make me his, to make sure I was strong enough so that nothing would ever come between us. But as he had said so many times before, he knew what I needed…and now I knew too.
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re going to kill him.”
He shook his head. “No. But you are.”
Castello cupped my cheek in his palm. “I am going to give you the revenge you need to heal, Tatum. I am going to give you my brother.”
I had no words. My heart hammered as if it would break through my chest at any moment. My stomach churned, my spine nothing but ice. Yet there was something else. There was a flicker, a spark that crackled with a threat to erupt should it take flame.
It scared me. This was not how I was supposed to feel about killing another human being. It wasn’t normal. Yet, it felt…good.
Castello’s full lips pulled up at the sides. He saw it, too. In fact, I think he had seen it all along, and that was why he had pushed me, punished me, forcing me to think of the man I hated the most in this world.
With my chin pressing into the mattress, I moved my arm out from beside me, and placed my palm over his. “You would do that for me?”
His eyes bore into mine. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, little mouse.”
Softly he pressed his lips against mine. No tongue, no movement. Just a single, simple, yet powerful kiss.
He pulled back. “I told you before, I see you. I know what you need, even if you don’t.”
“Thank you.” It was all I could say. He was turning me into the kind of person I needed to be in order to survive the past, and be ready for the future. Castello was making me strong, to protect myself…and the life growing inside me.
He needed to know.
Castello needed to know.
Tears stung the corners of my eyes as I stared at him. After everything, this was the moment I felt a fear that had the power to crush me. Fear of losing him. But deep down inside the core of my soul I knew…I knew I needed to do right by him. Earlier he said that I had been surrounded by lies for too long, but it was the same for him. His family didn’t just lie to me. His twin brother with whom he shared the same womb, lied to him. The mother who gave birth to him, who raised him also lied to him.
I won’t.
I won’t be the same as them. I would never be the same as them.
I pressed my lips in his palm, and closed my eyes, allowing my tears to escape.
“There were two lines,” I whispered against his palm. “There were two little pink lines.”
I looked up at him, his eyebrows slanted inward with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
More tears stained my cheeks, my heart no longer beating inside my chest, but pounding up my throat. I tried to keep my secret, but it wasn’t mine to keep. It was ours.
He wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “What is it, Tatum?”
Please God.
I sniffed, then took a deep breath before I allowed my secret to escape.
“I’m pregnant.”
20
CASTELLO
I’d like to think I was a strong man. That I was prepared for everything life wanted to throw at me. Feelings and emotions never controlled me, while power and authority had been the force behind every decision I made, behind every action I had taken. But since Tatum had been brought—yes, brought—into my life, she managed to change everything without even trying.
Now, while I stared into her crystal eyes, her words resounding inside my head, I felt powerless. I felt confused. And I felt like I no longer had any control.
“Excuse me?” My voice was barely a whisper, and my lack of confidence pissed me off.
“I’m pregnant, Castello.”
I reared back, my hand no longer on her cheek. “How?” Stupid question. “When?” Even stupider. “What do you mean, pregnant?” Dumb-fuck.
Tatum tried to loosen the clasp around the ring of her collar, but she was shaking too much.
“Castello, could you please loosen this?”
I blinked, then reached out to unclasp the ring. I stood up the same time she sat up straight.
“That’s why I fainted,” she started, her eyes looking everywhere except at me. “Doc asked me if there was a chance I could be pregnant.” She shrugged. “And turns out, I am.”
I was a grown fucking man. An intelligent fucking man. Yet every word that came out of her mouth made absolutely no sense at all.
“You’re on birth control. I know you were on birth control.”
She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head to the side. “I was. And…how did you know?”
“Don’t play dumb, Tatum. You know I did my homework before I—”
“Before you kidnapped me.”
Silence.
“Yes.”
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, her face cast in shadows of doubt and uncertainty. But I needed her to talk. I needed her to make fucking sense.
“Tatum. What the fuck?”
“I was supposed to go for my shot about a week before you…took me.”
“You should have told me.”
“I’m sorry—” her jaw tense, and lips taut “—I was too busy
not to die for me to worry about birth control, Castello.”
My heart and my stomach both fought for a way out my throat. My pulse raced, and every ounce of my blood had gone cold.
Pregnant. Fucking pregnant. We were in the middle of a goddamn civil war and Tatum was pregnant?
My mind started to reel, and I started to pace up and down. “This isn’t happening.”
“I’m afraid it is. There were two pink lines, and I did the test…twice.”
More pacing, more reeling thoughts.
“How far along are you?”
“Not sure. Doc is trying to arrange an ultrasound. Then we should know how far along I am.”
I stopped and pinned my stare on her. “Have you…”
“No. Not since Carlo. There was no one else. Just you.”
With my hands in my hair I dropped an entire vocabulary of f-bombs. And then it occurred to me.
“You drank champagne while you knew you were pregnant?”
“I pretended. I didn’t even take one sip.”
I looked down at the floor, my hands now on my hips. Jesus Christ. “You let me do this to you. You let me tie you up and beat you with my fucking belt…and you’re fucking pregnant. Tatum, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you stop me? And the tattoo.” Oh God, this was all just too damn much.
With shame in her eyes she dropped her gaze from mine to the floor. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“It’s pretty fucking easy actually. You just open your goddamn mouth and tell me.”
Tears trickled down her cheeks when she finally looked at me again. “It’s not that simple, Castello. Nothing about you, about us is simple.”
I stormed forward, anger fueling me, adrenaline pumping through my veins like venom. “It’s you who insists on overcomplicating everything!”