by Bella J
She stood up on her knees, her shoulders squared. “Can you honestly say that nothing about this is complicated?”
“Can you honestly say the only reason you kept this from me was because you didn’t know how to tell me?” I slanted my head to the side as I stared into her soul through the crystal blue of her eyes. “Or did you choose to keep this to yourself because you aren’t sure whether you want this or not?”
More tears, more shadows of shame, her face showing her every emotion.
“Both,” she whispered.
I knew it. I knew she kept it from me because she wasn’t sure.
I stepped back, grabbed my pants and pulled them on. But I kept my gaze on her face. “Just a few minutes ago you said you didn’t blame me for everything that’s happened.”
“I don’t.” She shook her head, and I smiled, a fake smile which I knew didn’t reach my eyes.
“Then why would you doubt whether you want my child or not?”
“That’s not what I doubted, Castello. I doubted whether you loved me or not. I doubted whether this would be something you wanted because you never tell me anything. It’s like you expect me to come to all these conclusions on my own.”
“Don’t play games, Tatum. You knew how I felt about you, how things changed between us. You were just too scared to acknowledge it, to admit it.”
She got off the bed, the collar around her neck glinting under the light, the ‘mine’ of diamonds taunting me.
“If you had been through what I have, you would doubt everything, too. You would see deception behind every word as well.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. My mind was on the brink of exploding. For the last ten minutes I haven’t been unable to form a single coherent thought. My entire world changed within the blink of an eye and I had no idea how to deal with that. How to deal with the fact that I was no longer in control of anything.
Irony, you son of a bitch. I changed her world within the blink of an eye, and goddammit, she just did the same to me.
So I left. I turned around and stormed out the door, slamming it shut behind me. And then I locked it. I locked her inside the bedroom...again. I was losing control and I fucking hated it. This goddamn woman was causing me to lose myself. She was making me weak, unsure about everything, and right now I couldn’t afford that. I had Vico to worry about. I had the family business to worry about. I had Tatum to worry about.
And now I have a baby to worry about.
Frustration ticked in my jaw, anger simmered inside my veins as I pulled my fingers through my hair, suppressing the need to scream.
Pregnant? What the fuck was the universe trying to do? How in God’s name did we manage to create a life when we were surrounded by death and lies from the start? All the plans I had for her, for us no longer mattered. A few simple words and everything changed.
I leaned back against the door, and I could hear her whimpering from inside the room. The sound of her sadness tamed my anger, and for a second I tried to think about how she was feeling. That’s what people do when they love each other, right?
Of course she would be afraid to tell me. If it were me I’d be afraid too. This was a whole new world for her, a world I’ve been in all my life, and she’d only been here for a short while. And then finding out she was pregnant by the man that at first wanted her dead? I couldn’t blame her.
I closed my eyes trying to imagine a baby—our baby. It wasn’t something I ever thought about wanting. A family. I’ve been living with a dark depravity inside me for so long, I didn’t think a family of my own would be possible for someone like me. But dear God, here I was with a woman I had fallen completely in love with, and she was carrying my baby. There was a life growing inside her, a life that was half her, half me. Jesus Christ. We were having a baby!
“Fuck!” I turned, unlocked the door and stormed inside, kicking the door closed behind me.
Tatum was sitting on the bed, still naked, and crying. She had loosened the ponytail in her hair, and golden strands covered her face like a veil.
“You’re pregnant,” I stated the obvious.
She nodded, her soft sobs filling the room.
“You’re pregnant,” I repeated to myself.
She looked up and when I saw her tear stained face, the emotional pain radiating from her crystal blue eyes, it pierced straight through my chest, shattering my heart into a million pieces.
I launched forward, pushed her down on the bed, pinned her arms above her head, and straddled her.
I forced her to look up at me. “You need to listen to me very carefully.” I tightened my grip around her wrists. “This ends today. You will no longer dwell in the past. You will no longer think of yourself as a victim so you can have a reason to doubt me, to doubt how I feel about you. Yes, you’ve been through hell. Yes, I didn’t do right by you in the beginning. Yes, you lost something. But I’m trying my fucking best to make it right. And this—” I grabbed her arm with the tattoo, “—is a vow I had imprinted into your goddamn skin. This was my way of saying no more lies, just vows.”
“Castello—”
“Stop allowing the past to weaken you. Stop using it as an excuse to not trust what is happening between us. I love you. I love you so much it fucking hurts. Nothing will change that. You are mine, and you always will be.”
I leaned down, allowing my hand to travel from her neck to her breast, all the way down to her belly. “And now that you’re carrying my child, you have no choice.”
“I told you earlier, I choose to be here with you.”
“You did. But now I can’t help but wonder, is it because you want to be here, or because I managed to plant my seed inside you?”
I watched as her throat bobbed, her chest rising and falling. Her crying had stopped, and determination replaced the tears. “No more lies?”
I nodded, doubt momentarily rendering me incapable of breathing.
She sat up on her elbows. “The moment you killed your mother to save me, that was the moment you ripped my heart from my chest and made it yours.”
This time it was my turn to swallow hard, her words taking all the jumbled thoughts inside my head, forming one single, most important thought and decision of my life.
No more lies. Just vows.
“Marry me. Marry me, Tatum.”
And then she knocked my feet right from under me. Without a single moment’s hesitation, she answered a loud and clear, unmistakable... “Yes.”
With that one word she had managed to make me feel like the most powerful man in the world. I had all the money one man would ever need. I had all the influence I needed to build an empire, yet with a single word she made all of it seem irrelevant.
I kissed her. I kissed her like a man in love. The need to possess her wasn’t there pounding against my ribs. The only thing I wanted to do was love her. I wanted my love for her to be present in the way I touched her. No toys, no whips, no chains or knives…only me. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to make her bleed. The only thing that was bleeding was my goddamn heart.
The saltiness of her tears invaded our kiss, making me more determined to show her how she had managed to turn my obsession with her into a love that had the power to bring me to my knees. After all this time of me trying to own her, she was the one who ultimately ended up owning me.
I moved, settling between her legs. My cock was ready—not to claim, but to forge our bodies into one.
My lips travelled down her neck, my tongue dipping in the hollow below her throat. “Let me love you, Tatum. Let me love you for the rest of my life.”
She weaved her fingers through the hair at the back of my neck. “Only if you let me love you back.”
My mouth was back on hers the second those words rolled over her lips. A soft moan poured from her mouth to mine, our tongues dancing and seducing, refusing to stop.
The way her hard nipples pressed against my chest, her skin like velvet against mine felt better than any whip or spa
nking. Better than any burn against my palm.
I tore my lips from hers and stared down at her, crystal blue eyes staring up at me. And as I slowly eased my cock inside her, I watched her eyes roll closed, her neck arching up as the pleasure consumed her. It was the best thing I’ve ever witnessed.
Without taking my eyes off her beautiful face, I pulled out completely before gently sinking back in. This time I pushed deep, earning a moan that sounded like a melody coming from her lips. Her legs wrapped around my waist, her heels digging into my ass.
“I love you,” I murmured, continuing the slow rhythm of moving in and out of her.
“Say it, Tatum.”
“I love you.”
“No, I need you to say that I love you. I want to hear those words come from your lips.”
She opened her eyes, her gaze pinned on mine. I didn’t stop moving. I couldn’t.
“Say it.” I gave a hard thrust. “Say it.”
“You love me.”
“Again.” I pushed deeper.
“You love me.”
“Again!” I needed her to say it until she fucking believed it.
“You love me!” She cried out, my rhythm increasing, my thrusts going deeper, harder.
“This is my last and final rule for you, Tatum.” I traced my hand down her side, over her hip, wrapping my arm around her ass, and pushing her up closer against me. “Never will you forget that I love you. Do you understand me? Never.”
“Never,” she whimpered, her body trembling beneath me.
“Your name is engraved on my soul…and not even the flames of hell will be able to erase it.”
And then I lost myself in her. Two bodies became one, our hearts and souls melting together like priceless elements of the Earth. Everything shifted. Everything changed. Doubt and uncertainty got expunged with every thrust, with every touch. It was just us, and the love that had managed to bloom out of all this cruelty.
I whispered the words one more time. “I love you, Tatum.” And then I felt her clamp down on me, gripping me tight. She cried out, and I buried my face in the crook of her neck as we reached our release together.
My body trembled, my heart pounding like a jackhammer against my ribs.
It was final. I loved her, and she loved me. And nothing in this goddamn world was strong enough to change that.
21
TATUM
It’s been two weeks since I told Castello about the pregnancy. Two weeks since he asked me to marry him. Everything still felt surreal.
Uncle Gino and Angelique were thrilled about the pregnancy, although I still think Angelique figured it out the night of the party when she took my champagne glass from me.
As for other people, Castello didn’t want anyone else to know. With Vico’s twisted vendetta against his brother, Castello didn’t want to chance Vico finding out about me carrying Fattore blood inside me. Vico was a twisted son of a bitch, and even I knew Vico would raise seven sorts of hell if he had to find out.
The security around the house has tripled, leaving no hall, no room, no square inch without eyes and cameras. I’ve gotten used to seeing huge men with big guns patrolling the house and grounds of the estate. It was clear that Castello was a man on a mission, and that mission was protecting his family—me.
I still wasn’t allowed off the estate. In fact, I could barely move around without having a shadow behind me. I didn’t like it, and I made sure Castello knew that. But it was like talking to a wall. There was no negotiating with him, especially when it came to me. And I couldn’t blame him, even though I yearned for a little freedom, just to go out in the world again. It was starting to feel like the entire world just consisted of us. That there was nothing or no one else but us, and Vico.
Castello included me in more business discussions, allowed me to witness some of the initiations of new associates, as well as the executions of those who betrayed him—who betrayed us. The more I started to become part of the family, the more I embraced my place as a soon to be Fattore. And the more I realized how much power this family had, the more convinced I became that this is where my child and I belonged. The baby growing inside my belly would have everything he or she would ever want, the best of everything. And that’s what every mother wants for her child.
It was clear that Vico was building an army, plotting against Castello. He was power hungry. He wanted to rule, and while Castello was still alive Vico would never have it all. And then there was also the threat of Vico’s bloodlust…for me. Even though Castello had pulled the trigger that killed their mother, Vico blamed me, and he would not rest until he had his revenge against me—which was why I accepted the fact that these walls would hold me prisoner for a very long time, at least until the war with Vico was over.
I placed my hand on my belly as I walked past all the painted canvases. I’ve spent a lot of time in my studio, painting, thinking, daydreaming of what the future held in store for us.
Since I wasn’t allowed off the estate, Castello gave Doc orders to have everything he would need to assist in me having a healthy pregnancy brought to the house. An entire room was fitted with medical equipment so it wasn’t necessary for us to go into town.
The ultrasound confirmed I was only a few weeks along, but so far everything seemed fine with the little blip on the screen. It was daunting to think that the little shape with a pulsing line on a black and white screen would turn into a fully formed, perfect human being.
Castello had changed. Sex had changed. He was afraid to let out the darkness that brought us together. He was afraid it would somehow affect the pregnancy. At first I thought it would change the bond between us, but it didn’t. Making love was just as powerful. In fact, every time we worshipped each other, it felt like we only grew closer, forming something so strong, something no one would ever break. But as soon as it was done, he would cradle me in his arms and whisper, “Soon, little mouse.”
Those words would set free a thousand butterflies inside my stomach, my core tightening, my soul yearning for “soon” to come. He made it clear that once our baby was born, he would possess me again. He would give me the relief I craved by allowing it to flow out of me in tears of crimson. He knew I needed it, and that it was something I would always need. And he vowed to give it to me, promised me I would never need to do it to myself again. But he made me swear that for the duration of the pregnancy we would not take chances, we would not allow our mutual darkness to touch the life growing inside me.
The door opened, and I immediately knew who it was. True to his word, no one was allowed inside my studio without permission—not even him. The only problem was, Castello didn’t know how to knock, and he definitely didn’t like the idea of him asking for permission to have access to me…his queen.
“Still not knocking, I see.” I smiled, my back turned to him.
“I regret not excluding myself when I said no one could enter your studio.”
The way my spine started to tingle all the way up to my neck, I knew he was standing really close to me.
“All you have to do is knock.”
“Knocking is like asking permission.” His fingers folded around my hips. “And when it comes to you there’s not a chance in hell I’ll ever ask permission.”
He pulled me closer, and I closed my eyes loving the way his body felt against mine. “Since you walked in—yet again—without permission, I guess I should address you as master.”
He stiffened, and his cock reacted almost immediately as it pushed against my ass.
He tightened his grip on my hips. “Do not tempt me, woman.”
“It’s only my master who doesn’t need permission when it comes to me.”
A low growl rumbled from his chest, his fingers digging almost painfully into my flesh.
“You know it’s hard enough as it is, little mouse, to keep the beast inside me contained. Why would you tempt me?”
I swayed my hips, rubbing my ass against his cock, and it earned me a moan from h
is lips. “What if I need you to be my master right now?”
“Tatum, don’t.”
I moved my body against his before placing my palm over his hand. Slowly I removed his grip on my hip and moved his palm up my body, over my belly, gently brushing it against both my breasts. He started to rock behind me, rubbing his cock against my ass, and as I placed his hand around my neck pushing his fingers into my skin, he groaned and bit my shoulder. He needed no guidance from me as he began to squeeze my throat. I loved it. My body hummed with desire, the blood in my veins intoxicated with adrenaline and lust.
Soft lips traced all along my neck before sucking my earlobe into his mouth, letting it go with a pop.
“Do not tease me, little mouse.”
His grip around my throat tightened, and my core clenched tight. The need to have this, to experience the darkness with him again had my lust pooled between my legs.
“Please, master.”
It happened so fast I didn’t have time to realize what was happening until he had me bent over the table, my paint supplies falling all around us. He took both my arms and pinned them behind my back, forcing my face down on the cherry wood table.
He leaned over me, his cock pressing hard and heavy against my ass. “I told you, not until my child is born. Only then will I let the beast come out to play. So I suggest you stop teasing me, for when the day comes that I no longer have to share your body with my child, I will have my way with you, little mouse. And you will bleed for me once again.” He gave a hard thrust against my ass, causing me to moan before letting go of me and stepping back.
My wrists hurt, the skin of my hips sensitive, but I fucking loved it.
I straightened and watched as Castello adjusted his pants, his cock pressed hard against his zipper. “It seems that you need help with that,” I teased.
He slanted his dark brows inward, the scar moving along his eyes. “It seems that I do. But unfortunately, I have some other pressing matters I need to attend to, which is why I was looking for you. I have a meeting I need to go to, so I won’t be around tonight.”