Come Back

by Melissa Maygrove

  Becca adjusted her shoulder and head until she was comfortable. “Better than I expected.”

  “That’s good... isn’t it?”

  He must’ve noticed her frown. “Yes, but— It’s strange. At times, she seemed like her old self. She’d get busy drying dishes or peeling potatoes and do a fine job. She’d even talk to me and carry on a sensible conversation. Then she’d change. She’d forget where something was or how to perform a task she used to be able to do without thinking. But she wouldn’t ask for help. She’d just stand there, looking lost.”

  “Maybe, now that you’re here, she’ll improve.”

  “Maybe... I’m sorry she embarrassed you.”

  He looked at her with warm eyes and an easy smile. “Your ma may occasionally say things that send us men running for the barn, but she’s not an embarrassment.”

  Becca squinted one eye and looked at him through the other. “Can we stay here a while?”

  “Yes. In fact, I think we should. Your ma’s not the only one who needs help. Your pa is struggling, too.”

  “He’s not ill, is he?”

  “No. He’s as keen as a fox and as strong as a mule. Your pa’s problems have to do with the land and the livestock.” Seth shifted so he was facing her. “The reason your folks fell behind on the trail was that your ma took ill. At first, she was just grieving... slowing things down. But after they crossed the river, she had some kind of episode. Your pa couldn’t make it to Blackwater. He had to stop here and settle for a second rate claim.

  “Then he had a run of bad luck. Rustlers stole his oxen right after he got here—one of the reasons he hired Gus. His plowing was delayed until he got a new team, and then the water went bad. He had to put off planting to dig another well. All that made for a poor harvest.

  “Your pa is a smart, hardworking man. But even with Gus’s help, he can hardly run the place, much less prosper. Even if the land was choice, there aren’t enough hours in the day. Both of them have to sacrifice work time to help your ma. Gus takes up slack with her chores, and your pa comes in early for meals and helps her make whatever they can throw together in a short time.”

  Becca stared past Seth at the jagged, bare limbs outside. This wasn’t the life she’d envisioned at all. And she doubted Seth would want to settle down and make a permanent home with her parents. “What happens when we leave?”

  Seth rolled to his back and tucked her against his side. “Let’s stay put for a while and see how things go. If we share our rations and if Gus and I can manage a few good hunts, the five of us can make it through winter. Besides, there’s not much chance of me finding gainful employment until spring.”

  His plan made sense, and he sounded completely amenable. But later, when she awoke, chilled, to his empty side of the bed, Seth was standing alone in the dark, staring out the window.

  Seth walked out of the kitchen, and Becca flinched when he closed the door. He hadn’t slammed it. In fact, he’d closed it quietly. Too quietly. Less than two weeks had passed since moving in with her parents, and her husband barely made a sound anymore.

  Everyone got along. Her pa had nothing but praise for her mate. But something was eating at Seth, and all her attempts to coax it out of him had been fruitless.

  Becca chuckled ruefully in the empty room. She had gotten her wish—she’d made it home before Christmas—but the holiday hadn’t been anything like she’d dreamed. A modest spread of food was consumed in subdued ambiance, and there were no gifts to exchange.

  After the meal, the men had retired to the parlor to speculate on the coming year. She’d walked in on dour expressions when she went to serve coffee. The frowns had quickly been replaced with smiles, but she wondered if the future of the farm was bleaker than the men let on. She’d already surmised that Seth would have to choose between helping her pa and leaving him shorthanded to take a paying job. One option would extend Seth’s sacrifice; the other would increase everyone’s hardship.

  He had told her on their wedding night that he didn’t regret marrying her. Now she feared he’d changed his mind.

  Becca put the last of the breakfast dishes away and went upstairs to help with chores. Her mood lifted at the sight of her ma snapping a sheet and floating it onto the bed. Today was a good day. Her mother’s eyes twinkled and she hummed like old times as she deftly smoothed the wrinkles from the cloth and tucked the corners.

  Becca scooped the folded quilt out of the chair and assisted her mother to center it on the bed.

  “Your husband offered to plant my kitchen garden as soon as we’re past the last freeze.”

  So he hasn’t gone mute after all. Just as quickly as the scornful thought came, Becca squelched the urge to be bitter. Seth had been nothing but kind to her ma. “That’s nice.”

  “Seth sure is a fine man.”

  The honest declaration snuffed the guttering wick of resentment. “Yes, he is.”

  Her ma reached for a pillowcase and paused. “He’s been awful quiet lately. Have you two had a falling out?”

  “No. Not that I’m aware of.” They each slid a pillow into its case and place it on the bed. “I’ve tried to get him to tell me what’s bothering him, but he won’t.”

  “Well, you know what Aunt Bertie used to say—God made woman from one of Adam’s ribs, but when He made man, He used the dust of a mule.”

  Becca couldn’t hold back her laughter.

  Her ma hugged her to her side as they walked toward the door. “Your pa used to have sullen spells, too. I’d just keep trying until I found a way to pry it from him. Usually, whatever was vexing him wasn’t nearly as bad as he made it seem.”

  Becca sighed. “I’ll talk to Seth again, when he gets back home.”

  “Back from where?”

  “The men all went into town.”

  “No, just Gus and your pa. Seth’s around here somewhere.” She patted Becca’s arm. “Go find him. And this time, keep pressing him until you get an answer. Don’t give up.”

  Becca searched the barn and the fields with no luck. Maybe it wasn’t such a good day for her ma after all. On the way back, she stopped again at the tack room. She’d called to him from outside before and gotten no answer, but they could have crossed paths while she was searching. Or...

  She didn’t announce her presence this time, just opened the door and stepped inside.

  Seth rose from the crate he was sitting on, abruptly shifting from his defeated posture into a stiff, stone-faced man she barely recognized. “What are you doing here?”

  She took a step forward. “I came to find you because I’m worried about you.”

  A muscle ticked along his jaw. “Well, you needn’t have bothered.” He turned away and walked across the room, bracing hands on the workbench and staring out the small window above it.

  Becca closed the door behind her. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Why are you acting this way?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Have I done something to make you angry?”

  “No.” The steel left his voice with the word.

  “Then why are you treating me like this?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered.

  Becca crossed the room until she was standing right behind him. “You never smile anymore, and you go about your days barely saying a word.”

  He kept staring out the window, hands splayed on the wooden table, muscles taut and bulging under his shirt.

  “You haven’t touched me in days... not even a kiss.” She felt more unwanted than when she’d been left behind on the trail. She placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. “I love you. I miss the husband I married.”

  A humorless chuckle echoed in the musty space. “And after years of living with a man who has no means to support you, will you still love me then?”

  Becca wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek to his back. “I’ll love you no matter what.”

  He s
traightened and his hands left the table, but he made no move to touch her. “Thanks for trying, but like I’ve told you, you’re not a very good liar.”

  “I’m not lying.” She clung to him tightly and fought back a sob.

  He didn’t react. Just stood there like a tower of stone.

  A surge of anger pushed back her tears. If he didn’t want her, he was going to have to face her and say it. She wasn’t giving up this time.

  Becca let go of him and stepped back. “If you regret marrying me, then turn around and tell me so.”

  She gave him plenty of time to respond, but he didn’t move. Didn’t speak.

  Embracing him again, she splayed her hands across his chest. She stood on her toes and grazed her lips across the back of his neck.

  A shudder rippled through him and raised little bumps on his skin. Her tower of stone was beginning to crack.

  “You can push me away and act like you don’t care,” she whispered, her breath skimming his ear, “but I’m not giving up. Do you want to know why? Because I’m not the one pretending.” Becca slid her hand lower and molded her fingers around the evidence of his arousal. “You are.”

  Seth ripped her hands from his body and spun around with a growl. His lips were on hers before she could suck in a breath. He banded his arms around her, crushing her to him, and ravaged her mouth like a man possessed.

  “You picked the wrong man to love,” he rasped when he came up for air.

  “No I didn’t!” she shot back as his mouth came down on hers.

  Seth’s hands roamed her body, matching the desperation of his kiss. And she gave it right back, groping and clawing as if she couldn’t get enough. She never would.

  Without breaking their kiss, he picked her up and plopped her gracelessly onto the table. His lips went for her neck and his hands went for her blouse. He freed a few buttons and cursed her chemise, then pushed her shirt aside and closed his mouth over her breast anyway.

  Becca tunneled her fingers into his hair and moaned as he drew on her nipple, laving it through the warm, wet fabric. “Touch me,” she begged.

  Switching to the other breast, Seth fumbled with her skirts until he had them up over her knees. His hand was on her so fast she cried out. He twisted it this way and that, trying to get a better angle. He finally sank two fingers inside her as his thumb pushed into her folds and moved in jerky circles.

  The smell of hay and leather assailed her along with Seth’s heady scent. She was so near the edge of ecstasy, she wanted to jump, but she couldn’t. He was being too rough.

  “Hurry, Becca,” Seth panted near her ear. “I want you so bad, I can’t wait.”

  She turned his face up with both hands. “Then don’t.”

  He shook his head, but then he yanked his hand free, grabbed her, and pulled her hips forward. After fumbling with his fly, he palmed the small of her back and pressed himself against her with his other hand. He swallowed her moan with his own as he pushed all the way in with a single thrust.

  He braced his hands behind her and pounded into her, bumping the table and jarring her father’s tools with each strike of his hips. After dislodging her and shifting her back into place several times, he growled in frustration.

  Seth threw her arms around his neck and demanded she hold on. He lifted her without even withdrawing, spun them around, and pinned her with her back to the wall.

  Becca dug her fingers into his rock-hard shoulders as he gripped her thighs and drove himself into her, thankful for the ropes and bridles behind her that softened the blows. With each relentless slam of his hips, she could feel his shame and his anger. And his love. He couldn’t hide it. He was clinging to her just as fiercely she was to him.

  She closed her eyes and lost herself in the storm of a man who was her lover. The stretch and bite of each thrust kept her on edge, each plunge forcing air from her lungs. The way he savagely claimed her. Filled her. She wished it could go on without end.

  Unintelligible words rumbled from Seth’s throat and his eyes clenched shut. He buried his face in her neck and shuddered his release with a guttural groan.

  His chest heaved, and his iron grip on her thighs loosened.

  “Feel better?” she murmured as his passion ebbed.

  He lifted his head, revealing dark eyes swimming with vulnerability.

  Becca nuzzled his face and brushed a kiss against corner of his mouth. “I love you.”

  He withdrew and lowered her feet to the ground. “I don’t know why.”

  Seth righted his clothing, then wrapped her in his arms and clutched her to his chest. “What’s wrong with me?” he croaked. “I just took you in a filthy tack room like a whore.”

  “I’m not fragile. Stop treating me like I’ll break.”

  “You’re my wife. You deserve better.”

  “There isn’t anyone better.” Becca framed his face with her hands. “When are you going to get it through your head, you stubborn man? You’re the one I want. Your gentleness, your passion—all of it. All of you. “

  He searched her eyes, hope and disbelief warring in his.

  “My body is yours and yours is mine,” she said as she traced his brow with her finger. “My future is yours and yours is mine.”

  Seth caught her behind the knees and lifted her into his arms. He settled onto the crate and cradled her in his lap. “Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.”

  “You didn’t.”

  A deep sigh left his lungs as he rested his head on hers. “Still, I was a selfish lover.”

  “So,” she said, caressing the skin exposed by the vee of his shirt, “make it up to me.”

  Seth brushed the fallen strands of hair back from her face and took her lips in a gentle kiss. With the reverence of the first time he ever touched her, he slid his hand beneath her skirts and up her thigh.

  The warm scent wafting from the depths of the bed covers made Becca smile. Cotton and skin smelled different after amorous acts, especially multiple ones. Her and Seth’s encounter in the tack room had thrown open the love gate and stampeded the herd. He had whisked her off to bed as soon as night fell and coupled with her for hours. They’d both be exhausted come dawn, but it would be a good kind of tired.

  Sated to the bone, Becca dropped off to sleep until the rooster’s crow roused her to wakefulness again.

  She and Seth groaned in unison.

  He pulled her into a sleep-warmed embrace. “I’m going to strangle that bird.”

  Becca nuzzled his chest. “You can’t. We need chicks. Besides, the hens would probably gang up and attack you.”

  He drew back, wearing a lopsided grin. “Oh they would, would they?”

  “Well...” Her cheeks heated—marriage had made her indecently bold. “I would track down and wallop anyone who took you away from me.”

  His eyes danced with levity and beamed with pride. “Good thing I’m not a polygamous rooster, then.”

  Becca grabbed a patch of his chest hair and twisted it until he winced. “Yes, good thing.”

  “Ouch.” He disentangled her fingers and rubbed at the spot.

  She decided to broach a subject she’d been saving for the right moment, even though it would probably sour the mood. Not only had recent events handed her the perfect prelude, she’d grown bold in other ways, too. “Mrs. Perkins came to pay Ma a visit yesterday.”

  “Perkins... They own the farm to the east, right?”

  “Mmhm. She brought Ma some canned fruit. She said it was a welcoming gift for you and me, but I think she brought it to help us make it through winter.” Her parents hadn’t made many friends since moving to California, but they had a few. And word of their troubles had gotten around. “She stayed and visited a while.”

  “I’ll bet,” he said dryly. “Did she grace you ladies with any earthshattering news or tawdry stories?”

  Becca giggled. Cordelia Perkins was friendly and generous. She was also the biggest gossip this side of the Colorado. “Not any I can repeat,” she t
eased.

  “I hope you didn’t give her any fodder,” he said more seriously.

  “I didn’t.” Becca bolstered herself and pressed on. “She told us of several families that settled around the same time they did, near Clearhaven, a town about fifty miles to the northeast. She said one bore the name Emerson and asked if they were your kin.”

  Seth’s face fell and he looked away.

  Becca softened her voice but not her resolve. “I know this is a difficult subject for you, but is it possible? Could they be relatives of yours?”

  He stared over her shoulder at the window for quite a long time. “They are.”

  “Cousins...? An uncle?”

  His gaze dropped to between them, but he still wouldn’t look her in the eye. “My parents.”

  She wasn’t sure what to say. Seth claimed he’d had no contact with them for five years. How—

  “I kept in touch with a couple of friends after I left home. One of them wrote to me when he moved west. On his way through my hometown, he discovered someone had bought my parents’ farm. The new owner told him where they’d gone.”

  “Did he say if... Did he have news of your sister?”

  Seth shook his head. “He didn’t mention her. He didn’t know to mention her. I never told him about— For Rachel’s sake, all that was kept quiet.”

  Becca nuzzled his chest again and slid her arm around his waist.

  He hugged her back. “I want to make a good life for you, but I don’t know what to do. If I don’t stay and help your pa—hell, maybe even if I do—he won’t be able to sustain the farm. If I find work, I’ll have to give him most of my earnings instead. It’ll take years to save enough to build a place of our own.” Seth made an exasperated sound. “If I thought he would speak to me, I’d go see my father and ask him for a loan, but I know that would be a waste of time and breath.

  “I love you so much, I ache with the depth of it,” he said, his cheek pressed to her hair and his heart pouring out with his words. “But sometimes I wish, for your sake, you’d married Nathan. I should have searched for you longer. If you’d have come with me the first time, your intended might still have been free.”