Hound Cerberus 2.0 Book 2

by James, Marie

  She shrugs, tongue never taking a break as it toys with each one of my barbells and flicks the ring in the head.

  I cup her cheek, my emotions barely in check after my breakdown yesterday. It took a full day and a half before I could get my shit together to call her after we found Marisol dead, her unborn child brutally cut out of her and also dead by her side. I’d spoken with Kincaid. I knew she was fine, but I knew I had to be close to her, knew I had to be in this house, in this room, when I heard her voice again.

  “I love you,” I whisper. Her head begins to shake back and forth, throat bobbing up and down. “So fucking much.”

  Tears spring to her eyes. “Really? Me?”

  “You.”

  “I love you, too,” she says back after an agonizingly long minute.

  There’s too much distance between us, too much space and time. Three weeks is a long ass time to be so far away from a piece of your very own heart. I sit up, and in the next second she’s on her back, and my mouth is covering hers.

  We don’t say another word. We let the room fill with our love as I fill her with my cock. Slight whimpers and an occasional grunt are the only sounds we make, but we never lose eye contact. I’m reluctant to even pull out of her after we climax together, but I’m exhausted, and the last thing I need is my arms giving out and falling on her.

  She traces the back of my hand as it tickles over her stomach.

  “Mom felt the baby kick yesterday.”

  My heart breaks a little. She’s been feeling the movement for weeks, assuring me it would be soon that I would be able to feel it too. I’m almost bitter at the knowledge that someone else got to do that first.

  “Another thing I’ve missed.” She presses her palm against mine until my hand is flat against her skin. “I’m missing everything again.”

  “I’ll talk to Dad. Ask him to keep you home.”

  “I have to work, Gigi.” I fucking hate more than anything that I have to. “I can’t get preferential treatment.”

  “He can find something for you to do here. I know you’re good with computers,” she bargains.

  “I’m better in the field.” I know it, and she knows it. Plus, Blade has the computer skills covered, except for the field stuff, which I’m already doing.

  “I need you here,” she mutters, her breath ghosting over my chest.

  I squeeze her tighter and decide to change the subject.

  “How did the doctor’s visit go? How is my boy doing?”

  I feel her tense, and an eerie chill settles over me.

  “We did the sonogram.” There’s something off about her voice, and I know she’s fixing to confirm some of the nightmares I’ve had over the last seventy-two hours.

  “What else?” I hate the strain in my voice, but I’m already preparing myself for the worst.

  The last couple of weeks have made it very apparent that things can go to shit at the drop of a hat, and I know deep down that I’m never supposed to be happy.

  “Camryn says that I’m measuring small.” I tense. “So she did some kind of special sonogram. The baby is perfectly fine.”

  I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm the fear that just won’t release me.

  “Are you sure? Please, tell me the truth.”

  “I am.” She pushes up and looks down at me. “It’s just…”

  God, I can’t take this. “Tell me. What’s wrong with my son?”

  “That’s just it,” she says with a twinkle in her eye. “You don’t have a son. You’re having another daughter.”

  “Excuse me?”

  A wide smile spreads across cheeks still pink from her orgasm. “A girl. We’re having a girl.”

  My throat goes dry, making swallowing difficult. “But she’s healthy?”

  She nods, searching my eyes and waiting for my reaction. What can I tell her? That I’m terrified? That I have no clue how to raise a daughter? So I opt to just speak the only truth I know. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

  It’s then, with the flex of my fingers against her stomach that my daughter decides to introduce herself to me. At first, it’s a simple tremble, but then Gigi’s tight stomach moves and I feel every bit of it against my hand. I stare down, in awe of it. The gift of life, a woman’s ability to grow and nurture something from a handful of cells into a human being is nothing short of miraculous. This baby, this tiny little girl is half of me and half of her. The sting of tears behind my eyes is welcomed, even after my embarrassing breakdown last night.

  “I hope she’s nothing like me,” Gigi confesses as her head lowers to rest on my chest again.

  “I hope she’s exactly like you.” She snorts. “I hope she’s fierce, resilient, able to speak her mind, and doesn’t let people walk all over her.”

  “You won’t be saying that when she’s fourteen and thinking she’s grown.”

  I pull her closer and kiss the top of her head. “There won’t be a boy in a hundred-mile radius that will even speak to her.”

  She huffs.

  “What?” I pull my head back and tilt her chin up. “I said I wanted her to be exactly like you. I never said I wasn’t going to be ten times worse than your dad.”

  “I,” she begins but pauses for a long minute. “I was so terrible to both my parents. Gave them such a hard time. Made them worry. I understand now because I know I’ll do everything in my power to protect this baby, even if that means protecting her from herself.”

  “And that,” I tell her before I brush my lips against hers, “is what parenting is all about.”

  “How long are you back for?” God, I don’t even want to think about leaving her again. “Dad and Shadow were in the conference room all day yesterday, so I already know there’s another job lined up. Is it your team? How long do we have?”

  Her eyes grow dark and disappointed when she reads the look on my face. “I have to head out on Tuesday.”

  “Two days?” Tears form in the corners of her eyes. “We only have two days? How long this time.”

  “I don’t know the details yet.” I press my mouth to hers. “But let’s not waste a second getting upset about it.”

  I press her to her back and tell her everything I’m feeling. I profess my love, my devotion, and we make plans for the future. Life is perfect for the first time ever. I can’t help smile at knowing that there is actually a way for me to be happy. I never imagined I could have this. Never even let myself picture having a woman that loved me, yet here I am.

  Chapter 36

  Gigi

  “Only two weeks left,” Camryn says with a smile as she slips her gloves off of her hands.

  “I’m not ready,” I confess.

  I knew Dad shouldn’t have sent Jameson on this last mission. Both promised me it was a quick job, and he’d be home before I knew it.

  “First-time parents never are,” she cajoles. “But you’ll know what to do when the time comes.”

  I’ve spent the better part of an hour asking her all of the questions I could easily research online, but I wanted to hear them from a professional, not a book or online chat rooms. I mean, I look at those too since I’ve become obsessed with all things childbirth.

  “I want to see you next week,” Camryn says before walking to the door. “Make sure you make the appointment before heading out.

  I sigh, rolling off of the exam table and get my lower half redressed.

  Kid is waiting for me in the parking lot, but the smiling man I’ve known all of my life is gone, having been replaced with a man filled with anxiety. He won’t even look at me as he helps me inside of the SUV.

  “We have to head back to the clubhouse,” he informs me as he climbs inside and backs out of the parking space.

  “I needed to grab a few things from Target,” I whine, knowing he’s probably in a pissy mood because Khloe is still getting hit on at school. There’s been tension between those two since the spring semester started at her school.

  “Not today,” he says shutti
ng down any rebuttal I might have had planned.

  Pissed, I turn my head to look out the window and rub the tightening spot on my stomach.

  The clubhouse is frantic by the time we get back there. The guys who didn’t head out on the last job are running around. Shadow is barking orders, and there’s a tension in the air that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Something’s wrong. I can feel it in my bones.

  “How the fuck did that happen?” Dad bellows. The anger in his voice travels out of the open door to the conference room. “I won’t calm the fuck down! I lost a man today, and you’re telling me to calm down?”

  No. No. No. No.

  I arrow toward the conference room, standing in the doorway. I almost break at the sight of my dad with his head hung low, one hand clutching his cell phone and the other gripping the top of his shaved head.

  “Daddy?” The one word is a guttural plea.

  I just know my world is going to come crashing down around me by the devastated look on Dad’s face.

  I shake my head. “No, daddy. Please.”

  I’m a twenty-one-year-old woman, but I’ve turned into a child needing her father to make her world make sense again.

  “We lost Catfish.” He’s broken, torn down, but that doesn’t stop the relief I feel in my bones.

  I’m a horrible person for being thankful that someone else, someone other than Jameson, is dead.

  I clench my stomach, the tightness that’s been present increasing to the point of excruciating pain.

  “And Jameson?” I ask when the pain subsides marginally and look up to see the same wrecked look in Dad’s eyes.

  “It all went to shit.”

  The pain is back, and he forgets who’s on the phone as he stands from the table and rushes to me.

  “Jameson?” I ask again, his name the only word I can manage with the pain in my stomach.

  “We need to get to the hospital,” he says, the calm I remember from childhood taking over his voice. He does so well in chaotic situations, and today is no different. He places a soothing hand on my back before barking orders through the open door.

  My pulse, pounding in my ears like a damn snare drum blocks out the conversation around me. It isn’t until I’m scooped up in my dad’s arms that I focus again.

  “Where’s Jameson?” I’m sobbing by this point.

  “We need to focus on the baby, Georgia. You’re in labor.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t do this without him.” I tremble, my hand gripping his t-shirt to the point my knuckles turn white. “He’s supposed to be here!”

  “Get Camryn Davison on the phone. I want her at the hospital by the time we get there.” I hear a ‘yes, Sir.’ “And make sure they have a room ready for her. We’re not spending a damn second in the waiting room.”

  I fight to get out of the SUV when Dad places me in the back seat and struggles to get the seatbelt around my swollen stomach. The tremble in his hands betrays his distress.

  “You’ll be fine.” I turn to see Mom sliding in beside me. “You get to meet your daughter today.”

  Her eyes are swollen, and I know she’s been crying. They’re both lying to me.

  “Just tell me,” I beg, my own tears renewed as I watch her face.

  She shakes her head, tears brimming and threatening to fall. “I don’t know anything.”

  “Please,” I beg. “Please don’t lie to me.”

  I don’t miss the relief in her eyes when the next contraction begins and demands all of my attention.

  The hustle into the hospital is quick and seamless. Dad cradles me in his arms, much like he did when I was a kid and fell asleep on the couch watching TV. He doesn’t have to bark orders here in public. The commands he made back at the clubhouse have been carried out perfectly. We go straight to a room, and Camryn is waiting for us.

  “My phone,” I hiss after I shed my clothes to get into a hospital gown, and she tries to take my clothes away. “The back pocket of my jeans.”

  I tap out a text, watching the screen with hope. The three little bubbles don’t pop up. The device in my hand doesn’t buzz or begin to ring.

  “What the hell is going on? Where is he?”

  My mom clears her throat. “I don’t know.”

  “Where’s Dad?” I push past her in the small bathroom and enter the room.

  Camryn is there, waiting, but I can tell from the look on her face that she knows something I don’t.

  “Someone needs to tell me what’s going on,” I demand.

  “You’re going to have that baby a little early it seems,” Camryn says with the nicest smile she can manage. She closes the distance between us and helps me climb into the bed. “I don’t want you to worry. Two weeks early isn’t huge, especially for a girl. Their lungs mature quicker than a boy’s would.”

  Once I’m on the bed, nurses are all around me strapping monitors around my stomach.

  My dad is gone for what seems like forever, and my mom won’t look at me. She types away furiously on her cell phone and checks it every second when her fingers aren’t flying over the keypad.

  When Dad enters the room, his eyes find mine before they search for my mother. My whole life, he’s looked for her first, as it is in his blood to make sure the other half of his soul is safe before worrying about others.

  I swallow, shaking my head as he reaches my head. I’ve been demanding answers, begging everyone to tell me the truth, to tell me something. Now that the moment has come, I can’t even look him in the eye.

  “Georgia,” Dad says softly.

  I don’t lift my eyes to his. I focus solely on the texture of the faded fuchsia blanket covering me.

  “Please don’t, Daddy.”

  The machines by my side beep, alerting me to another contraction. My epidural an hour ago has numbed the pain to the point it’s my broken heart that is destroying me and not the child trying to be born while her father is…

  I sob, refusing to think in my head what my heart is already feeling.

  A gentle knock and Camryn entering the room keeps my dad from ripping my useless muscle from my chest.

  “It’s time, Gigi.” Camryn stands at the end of the bed and pulls a sterile towel from the top of an instrument tray. She dons gloves and looks back at me. “Are you ready?”

  I shake my head and earn a small smile from her lips.

  “Diego, are you staying?”

  It’s then that I meet his eyes. They plead with me, much the same way mine did to him when I begged him not to make Jameson go on another mission. The way I looked each and every time he got orders after we started making plans for our future. My dad is the one responsible for the empty life, the single parenting I’ll be forced to do. He doesn’t get the right to stand there and cheer me on when he’s the sole reason my world is crashing down around me.

  “He’s not welcome in this room.” I expect him to argue, to insist that he’s there for his little girl as she brings her own daughter into the world. He doesn’t. He nods, kisses the back of my hand, and walks out.

  “You have about a minute,” Camryn says with her eyes on the monitor at my bedside. “Then I need you to push.”

  I lie back, not acknowledging my mom when she clasps my hand in her own. Normally warm, the coolness of her fingers is a shock to my system, but I don’t respond to that either. My eyes trace imaginary patterns on the ceiling. I ignore the pain and Cam’s voice instructing me to bear down.

  I shake my head. “I won’t do this without him.”

  Mom begs.

  Cam rubs my calf giving me encouragement hinted with agitation.

  I don’t know how long it goes on. Seconds? Days? Years?

  “Listen to me,” my mother spits, yanking my chin and forcing me to look at her. “You have to push.”

  “Jameson,” I sob. “I need him.”

  “You have to do this without him.” Tears fill her eyes once again. “He’d want you to carry on.”

  Oh, God. Th
at’s as good as confirmation that he’s gone.

  “I don’t want this without him.”

  “You’re killing her, Georgia.” I shake my head. I’d never do anything to hurt my daughter. “Her heart rate is all over the place. If you don’t push, they’re going to take you in for an emergency C-section.”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  I don’t know what I’m denying. The loss of him, the fact my baby is in danger? Am I still refusing to push? I don’t have a damn clue.

  “Please turn that damn thing off,” my mom snaps, but she’s already reaching to my side.

  It’s only then I hear my cell ringing.

  “Oh, thank God,” she says as I see the facetime call from Jameson.

  “Jameson,” I sob when the video connects.

  “We’re having a baby today,” he whispers as if talking too loud will ruin the moment.

  “I need you here,” I cry. “I can’t do this without you.”

  “I’m here, gorgeous.” I nod, conceding that this is the best I can get.

  My adrenaline is through the roof, my entire body shaking uncontrollably. I hate myself for losing faith so quickly.

  “Focus, Gigi.” My eyes snap back to his. “Give Emmalyn the phone, so you can concentrate on getting my baby here.”

  I nod and do as he says.

  “Head’s out,” Cam says.

  She asks me to stop pushing, and it’s only when my eyes flutter back to the screen that I take him in fully for the first time. His face is battered, covered in blood, and his voice, although soothing is low and weak. There are people around him, insisting he lie back.

  “One more push,” Cam urges.

  “You can do it, gorgeous.” I smile at his encouragement and bear down even though the medicine is strong enough to keep most of the pain away.

  “She’s here,” Cam says.

  There’s a rush, nurses shuffling around.

  The baby cries, the most amazing sound in the world.

  “Amelia Kate,” Jameson whispers. Her name on his lips is the second most beautiful thing in this world.

  And it all shatters again when I hear the long beep of a heart machine. The same one you hear on TV when someone dies. Confused, I look over at my monitors, but nothing seems wrong. Amelia is still wailing, so I know she’s fine.