Every Step You Take: A Psychological Thriller

by Avery Lane

Even now. Especially now.

  For what felt like an hour, Riley let Gabriel hold her in the pitch black of her apartment. She needed this. She didn’t want to be in control of this moment. She wanted him to be. Someone who knew what he was doing. Someone who wasn’t losing his damn mind.

  Her breathing began to even as he cradled her. He sat between her two open suitcases, lights still off, not questioning what she was doing. Not saying anything at all. Gabriel could sense the priority was keeping Riley from crumbling completely, and he did just that.

  “I need your help,” she finally whispered. “And I need you to promise me that you won’t think I’m crazy.”

  “I won’t. Just talk to me.”

  “I’m being followed,” Riley said, her voice hoarse. She untucked her head from beneath his strong jaw and looked up in time to see Gabriel furrow his brows, searching her face for answers.

  “I…don’t understand,” Gabriel replied. “Didn’t we figure it out that it was all Evan?”

  “That’s what I thought.” Riley sat up, wringing her hands, hoping Gabriel would keep his promise of not thinking she was insane. “But it didn’t stop. Not even after he died.”

  “How is that possible?” he asked. “Who do you think it could be?”

  “I have no idea,” she cried. “I just know it’s a man. I saw him once. I just know that was him. He was in a black trench coat and a hat. I know that sounds crazy like something from an old movie, but that’s really how he was dressed.”

  “Are you sure he was following you?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. Riley could see him wondering if she was a kook.

  “I’m sure. I had my suspicions of who it was. I thought it was Evan…then someone else. But now I see that I was completely wrong about all of it.”

  “Did you see him tonight?”

  “I think he’s in the building across the street. Right now. I saw a flash. Like from a camera. And in the past, I’ve seen shadows moving in the window directly across from mine, even when it’s well past when all the construction workers left.”

  “Jesus.”

  “I know I sound crazy, Gabriel,” Riley said, desperation making her voice shrill. “But you have to believe me. I feel safe with you. I didn’t want your help and I hate that I’ve swept you up into this, but you’re the only person who can help me now. So will you?”

  “Of course. Of course,” Gabriel shook his head. “This is just a lot to take in.”

  As if the universe was finally ready to hand Riley her first assist, there was another flash from across the street.

  “Oh my God, see!” she hissed. Gabriel’s muscles were stiff, turning in the direction of the window as he remained seated on the ground.

  “I did, yeah,” Gabriel said. “He’s gotta be the worst goddamn stalker if he’s going to be that obvious.” He crept towards the window, crouched low as he peeked between the curtains.

  For two long breaths, Gabriel didn’t say anything.

  And then finally, his breath caught.

  “You’re right,” he whispered. “There’s someone there.”

  Gabriel turned on the bedroom light, hoping it would trick their voyeur into thinking that Riley was in there.

  Then, together, they snuck out of the apartment.

  At first, Gabriel was insistent Riley didn’t come with him. He was afraid of what they’d find, how dangerous it would be. He wanted someone to be able to report it if anything were to happen.

  But Riley couldn’t be left alone. Not right now. And the last thing she wanted was to send Gabriel off into his doom on his own.

  The front door of the construction site was behind a plywood barrier, the makeshift door chained shut. There were clear signs that said, “DANGER” and “NO TRESPASSING,” but they ignored it.

  Riley’s stomach did flips. She wondered if it was possible that they had both seen something that wasn’t there. That they were now sneaking onto a dangerous construction site where there were an infinite number of possible injuries they could sustain. Maybe they’d fall in a hole. Have a steel beam hit their heads.

  But Gabriel soldiered on, completely uninhibited. He allowed Riley to follow behind him as soon as he cleared the path with the flashlight that he brought with him. The lobby of the building was just about done. There appeared to be a working elevator where the car sat on the third floor.

  The floor with the window that overlooked hers.

  To Riley’s surprise, the elevator dinged.

  Gabriel and Riley froze, listening as the elevator doors opened three floors up. She could hear the footsteps stepping inside. Slow. Calm. Resolved.

  As she listened to the elevator descend, Riley’s heart raced so quickly she thought she would faint. Gabriel held onto her, as if he knew. She wished they had thought to bring a weapon of some sort.

  The heavy sound of the elevator’s mechanics settling on the ground floor boomed out in the empty lobby. Riley could see the crack of light between the elevator doors. And as soon as they opened, Gabriel pushed her aside, lunging for the figure that stood between them.

  It was him.

  The dark figure.

  The man in the black hat and trench coat.

  It was actually him.

  And now Gabriel had him in a headlock as he wrestled him to the ground.

  “What the fuck!” the man screamed. His voice was gruff. He sounded older. It was no one she recognized.

  And in a second, he was flat on his back.

  Gabriel pinned him down, making sure he couldn’t get up.

  “Who are you?” Gabriel roared into his face with an anger Riley didn’t think he was capable of.

  “Who are you?” the man yelled back. Riley stepped up closer, shining her own flashlight onto the man’s face. He groaned at the light in his eyes, struggling to turn away.

  The man was in his late forties, maybe. His face looked younger but he was greying and wrinkled. He looked harmless without that cloak of mystery.

  But she didn’t know who he was.

  “Why have you been following Riley?” Gabriel asked.

  “I’m not following anyone!” the man insisted. Gabriel picked him up by the shoulders and let him slam to the floor once again. The man groaned louder, grabbing at his shoulder.

  “What’s your name?” Gabriel asked. When the man hesitated, Gabriel tightened his grip on the man’s arms.

  “Paul!” he shrieked. “The name’s Paul.”

  “Paul,” Gabriel repeated, his voice sounding calmer but no less threatening. “Tell me, Paul. Why are you following Riley?”

  “I was hired to,” he managed to squeak.

  “By Evan?” Gabriel asked.

  “What? No!” Paul sputtered. “Evan’s dead. I’m not getting a paycheck out of him.” Riley wasn’t sure if Paul was actually trying to joke around with that last statement. Either way, Gabriel wasn’t having it.

  It was then that Paul’s eyesight apparently cleared enough that he could see Riley. He turned, looking right up at her, almost amazed.

  Riley held his gaze, hoping Paul had any sort of humanity. If he did, he would spare her of any more of this and tell her how to end it. She watched as his mouth quivered. Perhaps in fear. But Riley hoped it was in guilt.

  “Tell me who hired you,” Riley pleaded. Paul continued to stare at her, as if still stunned to see her up close for once, unobstructed. Riley felt her skin crawl. Who knows what this man had seen? Who knows how long she’d been followed?

  “Your mother,” Paul choked out. “It was your mother.”

  34

  “How do we know he’s not lying?” Gabriel asked, pulling the car out onto FDR Drive. They were on their way to Judy’s house upstate. Riley couldn’t wait another moment to speak to her. And considering the fact that Judy was not picking up her phone or returning her texts, this was the only solution she could think of.

  “Why would he lie about that?” Riley cried. She felt so violated. She couldn’t believe she had begun to trust
Judy again, considered mending their relationship or even moving back upstate. Her mother had hired some random man to follow her. Some guy who called himself a private investigator. Why would she do this? What good did this do her? Was she really so desperate to keep tabs on Riley that she would send a potentially dangerous stranger to follow her around?

  “Who knows,” Gabriel said. “I just…he seemed so sketchy.”

  They had called the cops on Paul who confirmed that he was indeed a private investigator. They knew of him and weren’t fans of him either, but admitted he hadn’t actually done anything wrong.

  “Why are you always so defensive of my mother?”

  “I’m not,” Gabriel insisted. “I’m just trying to understand. I know she’s your mom and I believe you that she did all those crazy things when you were growing up. She told me some of it herself. But I know she regrets it and that she loves you. I just can’t believe that she would actually do something like this.”

  “Neither can I, Gabriel,” Riley said. “But I’m not too surprised. I should’ve known there was a reason why she was actually respecting the boundaries I had set for once. It’s because she knew what I was up to all the time. That’s why.”

  “This doesn’t make sense though,” Gabriel shook his head. “Why would she ask me to check up on you when she had someone tailing you this whole time?”

  “She’s greedy,” Riley suggested. “I don’t know! I don’t freaking know anything anymore. My life is completely unrecognizable! My husband was murdered before I had a chance to divorce him. My job has become some sort of sick joke. I have no idea what’s happening anymore!”

  She let out a loud sob before falling forward into her cupped hands. Riley cried so hard she didn’t recognize the sounds coming out of her mouth. Her chest heaved and her throat felt raw.

  How would she ever recover from this?

  It was 8pm when they pulled up to Judy’s house.

  Riley hadn’t been back in her childhood home since she was married. She didn’t have great memories of the place and something about being there made her regress into the scared little girl she once was. It was like there was a spell on the house, one that Judy had cast to make Riley into the vulnerable, controllable kid she used to be.

  Though Judy’s car was in the garage and a light was on in the house, no one came to answer the door.

  Riley had keys, but she didn’t feel right just letting herself in. Not with how strained their relationship had been. She wanted to demonstrate to Judy what a normal, respectful distance meant.

  But after five full minutes of waiting for her to answer and walking around the house to peek into the windows, Riley began to worry. It was unusual that her mom was unreachable like this. In fact, she realized this may very well be the first time.

  Riley hadn’t called enough in recent weeks to know if Judy’s phone habits and patterns had changed.

  Her hands were shaking as she tried to line the key up to the lock. Suddenly, she thought of all the awful things that might’ve happened. Maybe Judy had had a heart attack. Days ago. Maybe Paul wasn’t just a private investigator but a con artist who preyed on old women. What if he killed her? What if his plans were to kill Riley too?

  Finally, she managed to get the door open. Gabriel put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, pushing her gently into the house.

  “Judy?” Gabriel called. Riley wasn’t able to say a word. Her throat felt like it was closing up.

  Nothing seemed too unusual. The lights were sometimes left on when Judy went out. It was her way of deterring potential intruders. But she usually left on something more obvious – like the living room light that was set on a timer, not the kitchen and bedroom lights.

  “I’ll look around for her,” Gabriel said, leaving Riley alone downstairs.

  Riley started in the foyer before carefully making her way into the living room. Everything looked exactly as it did when she was last there eight years ago. She could tell by the smell of baking that Judy had cooked very recently.

  There was nothing unusual in the living room.

  Then Riley made her way to the dining room. There was one plate out, one set of silverware. The plate had crumbs on it. Dirty. That was unusual. Judy never left things out overnight.

  It was in the kitchen that Riley knew something had definitely happened.

  The refrigerator had been pulled out of its nook, unplugged.

  Behind the fridge was a small safe, about two feet by two feet – like the ones you got in hotels. The safe was open. Its contents were spilled out on the tiled floor.

  Riley dropped to her knees, heart racing.

  What was this? Was it money? Had someone tried to rob Judy?

  “Gabriel?” she called, as loudly as she could. She didn’t want to deal with this alone. She heard his heavy footsteps bounding down the stairs.

  “She’s not here,” Gabriel said. Riley heard his footsteps slow as he entered the kitchen behind her. “What happened?”

  “I don’t know,” Riley said. Her voice was shaking. “This was like this when I got here.”

  “What is all this?” Gabriel sat down on the floor beside her, inspecting the papers in front of them. They looked like a pile of miscellaneous documents. Forms, maybe. Paperwork.

  Photos.

  Riley picked up the first one that caught her eye. It was Judy and her father, Robert. The photo was faded, yellowing. Judy looked nine months pregnant – more than ready to pop. Robert was beaming as he kissed her belly.

  “That’s weird,” Riley whispered.

  “Why?” he asked, though he sounded distant, like his mind was elsewhere.

  “My father died when my mom was just five months pregnant,” she explained. “Here…doesn’t she look…?”

  “Riley,” Gabriel interrupted, his voice grave. He had pulled a letter out of an envelope that read My Dearest Judy. “I think I just read something I wasn’t supposed to.”

  “What?” She took the letter from him.

  My Dearest Judy. The greatest love of my life. I know you’ll hate me forever for what I have done, but it was only to spare you and our daughter from greater pain. I know it will hurt you now the most, now when it’s fresh. I know it will hurt every time you think of me. But trust me that I know that this is best for all of us. I will never get over what I have done and I will never forgive myself. You shouldn’t forgive me either. It was never your fault. It was always mine. And this now isn’t your fault either. I need to go, before my self-destructive nature takes you with me. I love you. Know that.

  35

  “He killed himself?” Riley whispered. “Why?”

  “It sounds like he was living with some sort of guilt,” Gabriel said.

  “But what?” Riley asked. “My whole life, I thought he died of a heart attack before I was born and now…now I know he killed himself?” She looked at the date on the letter. It was two weeks after she was born. “He killed himself knowing that he’d be leaving me alone with my mother. How could he do this?”

  “Because he felt like he had no choice?” Gabriel said, looking unconvinced of his own words.

  “Why would my mother lie to me?” Riley held the picture of her parents. They were happy. Gleaming. Glowing. They didn’t look like a couple who would go through this. “She lied about how he died. She lied about me being premature.”

  “Wait, Riley,” Gabriel took the photo from her hands. He flipped it over. “Look.” He flipped the picture again to show Riley what was written on the back. A date was scribbled on it. A date that was a decade and a half before Riley was born.

  Riley studied the photo again. That was Judy, right?

  It was.

  She looked a lot younger than forty in the photo. Because she was.

  Oh my God.

  Judy had been pregnant before.

  Judy and Robert had had another child.

  Riley had a sibling.

  Gabriel pulled out a Polaroid from the pile. It was a picture of
a redheaded little girl with a fishtail braid, about ten years old. She looked just the tiniest bit like Riley, but she could tell immediately that it wasn’t her.

  On the white part of the Polaroid was Judy’s handwriting. Jujube.

  “This…” Riley started. “This was what your mother called me. Jujube.”

  “I remember this girl,” Gabriel said, squinting.

  “What?” Riley asked. “How?”

  “She’s younger here, but she was my babysitter for awhile. I think I was like five or so at the time? She was a teenager. I only kind of vaguely remember her but I had no idea she was related to Judy.”

  Something clicked in Riley’s brain.

  “You had a crush on her,” Riley said.

  “Sure, I guess,” Gabriel replied. “But you know, in a little kid way. How’d you know?”

  “Your mom told me.” Riley felt dizzy. She had a sister. Margaret had just about told her. Then Riley remembered something else. “Your mom said you asked about her once when you came home from college. Do you remember what she’s talking about?”

  “Yes…” Gabriel’s expression suddenly darkened. “Oh my God.”

  “What?”

  “God, I never knew she was Judy’s daughter,” Gabriel explained. “No one ever actually told me. I was just a kid. I just knew that she was my babysitter and that I really liked her. Then one day I had a new babysitter and I never saw her again. No one explained anything to me. My mom said it was because she…”

  “What? She what?”

  “She died.”

  Riley’s heart sank.

  “So that year I came home,” Gabriel began. “Something had reminded me of her in school. I think a song or something she had introduced me to, I don’t even remember what. But it reminded me that I had this babysitter I loved and I asked my mom where she went. And now that I was older, I guess she felt fine telling me the details. She said that the girl had run away one day. Then a few weeks later, they found her clothes washed up in the Hudson.”

  “That’s why she was the way she was. The way she is,” Riley said, tears brimming as she realized. “She had lost a daughter. So she wanted to keep an eye on me.”