“Never said I was. But I never had the sterling reputation to keep up.”
“I’m devastated. This is the worst mess I’ve ever been in my whole life.”
“Come on, we have to kid a little. If we didn’t, I think we’d both sit here and cry our eyes out. Although now that I really think about this...”
Alex jumped at the sign of hope. “What? What are you thinking?”
“That our beautiful Lizzie was the result of your lie and your, ah, let’s call it poor judgment, and she’s about the coolest kid around. You and Teddy raised her well.”
“And Lizzie will hate me if she learns what I did, what I’ve been doing her entire life. And all this is happening when we’re already arguing over her college choice.”
Apparently having nothing to say to refute that, Jude merely nodded. After a moment she said, “She can’t hate you forever, Allie-belle. Over the years you’ve gotten an awful lot of points for being a good mother. All that doesn’t just go away. You two are as close as any parent and child I’ve ever seen. I hope Wesley and I have half the foundation you’ve built with your kid.”
Alex sighed. “Thanks. So let’s say eventually Lizzie would forgive me. She’s only half the problem. What about Daniel? I really care about him, Jude. I never expected in my wildest dreams to come back to Ohio and fall in love, but I think I may have.”
“That is a wrinkle,” Jude agreed. “He’s not likely to take this news well.”
“And you don’t know the full story.” She told Jude about Daniel’s opportunity to run for national office, pledging her sister to complete secrecy.
“No one will hear it from me,” Jude promised. “And you’re right. If this leaks, Daniel could be hit hard by the media. An illegitimate child in his background?”
“This is the twenty-first century, Jude,” Alex said. “Surely once the circumstances are revealed, once I take the entire blame...”
“You haven’t lived around here in a long time. I don’t think you get how conservative this area is. I’m involved in politics to a degree with my charities,” Jude added. “I know how spin doctors work. Daniel’s opponent will probably use this story to his advantage. And that’s not even saying what the media might do to Lizzie.”
Alex nodded, felt the first burn of tears. “I’ve thought of that.” Her gaze latched on to Jude’s brilliant blue eyes. “What should I do, Jude? What would you do?”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m a bad one to ask. I make more mistakes in one week than you’ve made your whole life, although this time your screwup is a chart topper.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t have your knack for diplomacy. I say what I say and let the demons pick at my bones afterward.”
“You would tell Daniel?”
“I would. But I’m not saying you should. If you don’t, then the outcome is obvious, isn’t it?”
Alex stared at her hands in her lap. “I give up Daniel and go on as I have, letting Lizzie believe that Teddy was her father.”
“And if that hasn’t been easy the last seventeen years, it probably won’t get any easier for the next seventeen. And you’ll have to give up a future with the man you’ve come to love—again.”
“But if I tell him, I may lose him anyway.”
“You might. Or he might offer compassion for what you’ve been through. He might have a solution. He’s a smart guy. I don’t think we can assume that Daniel will just walk away.”
Alex considered what Jude said for a couple of minutes. During that time, Jude fussed over their mother, pulled her blanket up, smoothed the delicate ruffles on her nightgown. “This is just great, Mama,” she said. “You have the rotten luck to raise three daughters who can’t clean up their own messes, and now you’re not even able to knock some sense into any of us.”
“What’s this?” Martin’s voice came from the doorway. “I won’t allow anyone to say my daughters aren’t perfect, not even one of them.” He chuckled. “Besides, I had something to do with raising you girls, too, and I think I did a darned good job.”
Alex stood. “Movie over, Dad?”
“Yes, and I’m going to bed.” He lifted Maggie’s hand and checked her pulse. “How’s our girl?”
“She gets a gold star for being a good listener,” Jude said.
“Thanks for sitting with her, girls.”
Alex and Jude kissed their father good-night and went into the hall. “Have you made up your mind?” Jude asked quietly.
“I’m going to tell him,” Alex said. “I don’t see any other way. I can’t go on living like this. It was different when Teddy was alive. The lie was easier to believe, even for me.”
Jude gave her a hug. “I’ve got your back, Allie-belle. Always will.” She went downstairs and soon Alex heard the low rumble of her Jeep as she headed back to her rooms above the barn.
Alex knew she wouldn’t sleep. Her thoughts would be focused on tomorrow. She would tell Daniel the truth before he returned to Columbus.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“HOW ARE YOU FEELING, Pop?” Bleary-eyed from going over last night’s conversation with Alex, Daniel headed straight for the coffeemaker, thankful that his dad was an early riser and had brewed a pot.
“I’m okay, son,” Gus said. “I thought you’d sleep in this morning.”
“Guess the sun had another idea. Anyway, I want to spend more time with Alex today.”
“I like her, Danny. She’s a good woman. Reminds me of your mother in a lot of ways. She has that same quiet composure about her, as if the world could go off its rails and she’d still maintain a steady course.”
Stirring sugar into his coffee, Daniel thought about what his father had just said. Alex wasn’t completely unflappable. She was having a tough time with Lizzie’s change of plans. And he wasn’t all that sure she supported his decision to run for higher office. She’d said she was, but Daniel had sensed a reluctance last night. That was why he couldn’t wait to get to Dancing Falls this morning. It would mean everything if the woman he loved wanted the same future he did.
The woman he loved. A smile spread across Daniel’s face. Where had that come from? Did he love Alex? He must because the past week without her had been long and empty. Last night he’d told her he was crazy about her. What he meant was crazy in love. Otherwise, why was he still smiling this morning after a restless night?
“What are you grinning about?” Gus asked him.
“Nothing, Pop. Just in a good mood, I guess.”
“That’s another way Alex is like your mother. Helen could make me grin like that for no reason, too.” Gus shifted in his chair, obviously trying to find a more comfortable position. “If you ask me, Danny, you’re a goner already.”
Trying to keep the mood light, Daniel said, “You could be right, Pop. But what a way to go.”
Both men sat at the table enjoying their coffee. Gus read the newspaper while Daniel stared out the kitchen window at the trees he and his dad had planted many years ago. Full and green and offering cool shade in the summers, those trees had grown up with him. Funny how they felt almost like family.
Just like the teenager who passed by the window on her way to the back door. “What’s Lizzie doing here?” he said.
She knocked on the door and Daniel opened it. “Good morning,” he said. “What brings you out this way? Thought you’d be sleeping late since it’s the weekend.”
“Can’t,” she said. “I may never sleep again.”
He smiled. “I like drama as much as the next guy, Lizzie, but I kind of doubt that statement. Anyway, what’s going on?”
She looked at Gus. “Hi, Mr. Chandler. I don’t think I’ve ever met you.”
Gus stood, slowly. “Hello, young lady.”
Turning her attention back to Daniel, she sa
id, “Can I talk to you? I don’t know where to turn.” She looked at Gus again.
He ambled away from the table. “I’ve got some annuals to trim in the backyard. If you two don’t mind, I think I’ll get to work before the sun gets too hot.”
Daniel opened the door for him. “Call if you need anything, Pop.” Once Gus had walked into the yard, Daniel pulled out a chair for Lizzie. He realized he could be crossing sacred ground here, but the kid looked as if she really needed a sympathetic ear. Her eyes were red, her hair pulled into a messy bun. “Sit,” he said. “Talk to me.”
“Can I have coffee?”
“You drink coffee?”
She nodded. “Sometimes.”
He got her a cup and fixed it according to her instructions, lots of sugar and cream. “Does your mother know you’re here?” he asked.
“No.”
“Then am I going to get in trouble?”
She shrugged. “I’m probably going to get in trouble, not you. But something has got to make Mom open her eyes and see that I am serious about acting school.”
“You don’t think she knows that now?”
“She’s so hung up on one stupid reason why I can’t do it. She’s sure that I’m going to end up busing tables, or homeless on the streets of LA.”
“She’s worried for you, Lizzie. All your life your mom had this image of you as a university professor living a sane, comfortable life. She always pictured you as a scholar, and you seemed to go along with that idea. Even you have to admit that acting is a big change, not to mention an even bigger risk.”
“No, I don’t agree. Look at the successful actors who are also supersmart. They graduated from top universities and still pursued their love of acting. I could study the arts, literature. Just because I want to enroll in the Department of Theater, doesn’t mean I’ll close my mind to everything else.”
She had obviously done some research, and he couldn’t refute her findings. She could take electives to broaden her scope, all the while concentrating on drama. But he absolutely, positively couldn’t tell her this made perfect sense. It wasn’t his place. He was in love with her mother. He’d already crossed the line as far as Alex was concerned.
Hoping a brilliant, heartfelt response would come to him, he cradled his coffee mug in two hands and waited. No luck, so he fell back on the one piece of advice he knew was irrefutable. “I see where you’re coming from, Lizzie,” he said. “But this is a discussion you should be having with your mother, not me.”
She clasped her hands tightly together. “And just how am I supposed to do that? She won’t discuss! She dictates...”
“I don’t suppose there is a teenager anywhere who hasn’t said that same thing about her parents.”
Lizzie’s eyes filled with tears. “Don’t you understand, Daniel? Somebody has to be on my side. My grandfather won’t go against Mom. Neither will Auntie Jude. It’s like everyone is afraid of hurting her.” A few tears fell onto her cheeks. “Well, let me tell you, my mother is not perfect. She makes mistakes. Not often but it has happened. And she’s making one now by trying to live my life!”
Lizzie sank her forehead into her hands. “Please help me, Daniel. You understand better than anyone.”
She raised her face and stared at him, and that was when he saw it. The glisten in her indescribable hazel eyes, a phenomenon he’d seen in only one other person. The tight lines around her stubborn lips, the deep furrow in her brow, the small widow’s peak that gave her face character. Her face. Her beautiful face was exactly like another beautiful face he would always remember, the one in the frame that his father spoke to whenever he was lonely or uncertain.
The knowledge hit him hard enough to make him stumble if he’d been standing. His heart clenched. He couldn’t breathe. This sad young girl looked enough like his mother to be... Yes, to be her granddaughter.
The realization sliced into him like a knife. Alex had lied to him for eighteen years. She’d become pregnant that night and taken an easy way out. She’d married a man who was already successful in life, one who didn’t have to struggle to make his way. One who could give her everything she wanted, who would worship her. She hadn’t chosen the man who simply loved her. Not the one who was the father of her child.
“You’ll talk to her, won’t you, Daniel?” Lizzie said. “You’ll make her understand what this means to me.”
It took every ounce of self-control he could muster not to stand up, walk around the table and enfold this girl in his arms. But he remained seated, the hurt shooting through his veins like white lightning. Slowly, deliberately, he nodded his head. “Yes, Lizzie, I’ll talk to her.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ALEX CAME INTO the kitchen around nine o’clock Sunday morning. She had stopped in Lizzie’s room, as she often did, just to assure herself that her daughter was sleeping peacefully. This morning Lizzie had not been in her bed.
Not yet alarmed, Alex spoke to her father, who was reading the Sunday paper. “Have you seen Lizzie?”
“No. She’s not in her room?”
Alex shook her head. “And I know she was up late last night. She went out with some kids from the show. I heard her TV going for a couple of hours after that. I figured she’d sleep until noon today.”
Jude entered the house through the back door. “Hello, family. Can I interest anyone in scrambled eggs and bacon, as long as Dad has eggs and bacon in the fridge?”
“Sounds good to me,” Martin said. “Where’s Wesley?”
“He’s on the front porch waiting for his ride to the water park. Aside from having to care for a few dozen animals, I am blessedly free from responsibility until the park closes this afternoon.”
Jude was taking supplies from the refrigerator when Alex asked, “Have you seen Lizzie this morning?”
Her sister looked over her shoulder. “Nope. She’s probably still sleeping, don’t you think?”
“I checked. I don’t believe she’s in the house.” Just then a car pulled around to the back of the house. “That’s my car,” Alex said. “And Lizzie is driving it. I wonder where she’s been.”
“One way to find out,” Martin said.
Alex met her daughter at the door. “Where were you off to so early on a Sunday?”
Lizzie glanced around the kitchen as if she couldn’t believe she had such a welcoming committee. She didn’t immediately answer her mother, but when she saw Jude, she said, “I went over to the barn. Couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d help Auntie Jude feed.”
“Funny, I didn’t pass you on the road,” Jude said.
“I took the long way. I was hoping to pick some wildflowers, but I didn’t see any pretty ones.”
“Too bad,” Jude said. “But you’re in time for bacon and eggs.”
“I’m not hungry.” Lizzie stifled a yawn. “I might try to catch a few more z’s now, if that’s okay.”
Alex smiled. “We’ll catch up later.”
Lizzie left the kitchen, and Alex went to the sink to help Jude with breakfast. Jude nudged her. “So what are you going to do?” she whispered.
“This is officially clean-slate day,” Alex said. “I’m going to do the right thing...finally. And hope I don’t destroy the lives of everyone I love.”
“When will you see him?”
“If he doesn’t call by ten, I’ll call him and arrange a meeting place, somewhere neutral where there will be other people around.” She grimaced. “I really have no idea how he’ll react.”
“That’s smart.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Martin said, rustling his newspaper into submission.
“Girl stuff, Dad,” Alex said. “Nothing important.”
He put down his paper and cupped a hand around his ear. “Is that another car I hear? This place is like
Grand Central Station this morning.”
Alex looked out the kitchen window. Her heart seemed to slam into her chest wall. She gripped Jude’s arm. “Oh, no, it’s him. It’s Daniel.”
Jude patted her hand. “It’s going to be okay. You know what they say. There’s no time like the present. You might as well get it over with. Trust me, you’re going to feel so much better when this weight is off your shoulders.”
Alex smoothed her T-shirt over her jeans and then shoved her hands in her pockets to keep them from shaking. She wasn’t ready. She’d had no warning. But Jude was right. Her mind was made up, so she would just get it over with. Her brain struggled to come up with an opening line. How did one tell someone his entire life was about to change?
Daniel parked and got out of his car. He strode purposefully to the door. Alex opened it. “Good morning.” She sounded ridiculously chipper. “I didn’t expect you yet.”
“No? Well, I’m here.”
He didn’t look anything like a man who wanted to impress a woman. In fact, he looked as if he’d thrown himself together in a rush. His cargo shorts were wrinkled. He had on worn sandals. Even his shirt was only partially buttoned, the ends untucked.
“We were just about to have some breakfast,” Alex said. “You’re welcome to join us.”
“I need to talk to you, Alex. It can’t wait until after breakfast.”
“All right.” She glanced at her sister, hoping for a look of support. Jude seemed as puzzled as Alex was. “Shall we go into the backyard?” Alex suggested.
Daniel stood aside as she went out the door, and without speaking, he followed her.
“What’s so urgent?” she asked when they’d walked some distance from the house.
His jaw muscles worked. “In the interest of fair play, I’ll ask this one question to give you a heads-up. Where is Lizzie? Can she hear us?”
“She went up to her room. No, I don’t think she can hear anything.” A terrible premonition, like hundreds of prickling needles, worked its way down Alex’s spine. She resisted the urge to squirm. Whatever Daniel had to say involved Lizzie, and the need to protect her daughter was like a fire burning in her stomach.
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