by Devin Sawyer
He walks into the bathroom and slams the door behind him and I march back to my room like a pissed off toddler. I take my time getting dressed for the day, annoyed at what an ass Lawson seems to be since we had our talk the other night. This is exactly why I never returned here. Not once. I didn’t miss this life, maybe some of the people but I didn’t miss how much drama circulated just from the few years I spent in South Carolina.
Once I’m composed enough to go downstairs, I find Reece watching the news on the couch with his dad. Lawson is nowhere to be found and I assume he’s left already for the day. I take a seat next to Reece, cuddling into him without trying to be overtly obnoxious to his parents. I just need to be comforted and yet, I don’t want to share with Reece what conspired upstairs.
“Dad’s heading to the club in a few minutes to golf. I thought I’d join him, want to be our caddy?”
I don’t but I’m not particularly fond of being left alone for the day either.
“Sure,” I tell him. He must sense the hesitation because he leans over to drop a kiss on my temple and I smile back at him.
“We were about to head out. Do you need anything?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Alright Pop. We got ourselves a cart driver. Let’s get out there before all the tee times fill up.”
William smiles at me and I’m not sure if it’s his senatorial smile or a genuine one. I’ll take it either way.
The local country club is booming with business. The retired socialites must have nothing better to do, like volunteer their time at a place that actually needs their support. I go to grab Reece and William a cart while they sign in up front. Reece doesn’t golf in Portland, but I know he used to in high school and when he lived here. It reminds me that we lead very different lives in Portland and I know how I escaped to it, but I still wonder how he managed to slip from the confines of his family’s bureaucratic reach.
Once we arrive at the first hole, William tees off first, with Reece following behind him. I’ve never seen Reece golf before, but I quite enjoy watching it. He’s always been athletic, his body is built for sports with broad shoulders and lean waist. Not every muscle on his body pops out the way it does on a bodybuilder, but he’s buff and sexy. He’s a gym junkie back home, but he also has a slew of guy friends that he’s worked with over the years that have a basketball league together. Golf just seems like such an odd sport. It doesn’t require him to execute a lot of athleticism, it’s a game of skill but I love his competitive side and I’m surprised to see that he does quite well against his father, who probably has much more time to play.
After each tee off they put their club away and join me back in the cart. Reece rides alongside me with William sitting in the back.
“So Farah, have you ever golfed before?” William attempts to make polite conversation, and he’s very natural at his approach. I’m sure years of being a senator has strengthened his small talk skills.
“No, sir. My father plays at a course back in Georgia but it’s not as beautiful as this one.”
“And your mother? What about her? Does she play?”
“Oh no, she doesn’t quite understand the sport. Not to mention the course back home is more of a men’s getaway.”
William laughs at this.
“Yes, well, it’s a good way to spend a few hours. You should let Reece teach you how to play sometime.”
I want to say that I think I get the gist of it. You knock a ball into a hole at the other end of the course eighteen times in as few attempts as possible. I don’t say that though because I’m sure William won’t find that kind of remark amusing and if he’s going to play nice, then I will too.
“Sure, that could be fun. Maybe next time we visit I could even give you a run for your money.”
A deep chuckle leaves him this time, and he continues on for several moments. Reece’s eyes light up and I can tell he’s pleased that I’m bantering with his father.
“Reece, you never told us how competitive she was.”
We stop at the next hole and they both exit the cart. I want to smart off, but keep a smile plastered on my face. It annoys me when he or Emily act as if I’m a new introduction to the family and as though my time with Lawson, although brief, never happened.
When the beverage cart makes its way to us, the guys order a cooler of beer and I decide to enjoy one myself. The sun is beating down on us and the bitter taste is quite refreshing. I never realized before how long a game of golf can last, and it is almost four hours later by the time we make it through all eighteen holes. The guys are sweating and rather than heading back to the house to take a nap, which I would really like to do, they choose instead to go have one more round of beers in the clubhouse to cool off before we head home.
With the afternoon heat really beating down, many of the golfers have found their way into the clubhouse and I follow Reece around until his father joins a group of his friends.
“Gentlemen, you all remember my son, Reece. He’s in for the week from Portland for his brother’s announcement.”
All the men congratulate William on Lawson’s campaign run and then move to greet Reece. It’s clear William partially wanted to come golfing today just for the congratulations he knew he would get to endure. Reece pulls me in tightly to his side as the men approach him. He seems familiar with some more than others but nonetheless plays the part of doting son well, not as well as Lawson, but he fills the shoes temporarily. There’s a lot of back slapping and comparison of golf scores but Reece does his best to keep me relevant in the conversation so I don’t feel left out. The men are all jovial and seem to be enjoying an afternoon with the guys. It’s not until we have spoken with most of the men that I spot a man heading in our direction. I feel a sense of familiarity but am not sure how to place him, but I can be sure I’ve seen him before, maybe at the announcement last night.
“Reece, my boy, it’s so good to see you.”
“Jack! It’s been a while.” He redirects his attention to me. “Babe, you’ve met Jack before, right? My godfather?” It all comes together in my brain.
“Oh yes, I think I have. Jack, it’s good to see you again.”
Jack’s face is covered with confusion. “Farah and I are together now,” Reece attempts to clarify.
“You’re married?” he asks.
“Oh no, dating. Well, living together. We have a place together in Portland. We ran into each other a few years ago and I wasn’t going to let her slip away from me.”
“Oh good. I thought surely I would’ve received a wedding invitation. It’s good to see you’ve found someone that makes you so happy.” He continues but addressing me this time, “Farah, my dear, you look just as lovely as the last time I saw you.”
I shift uncomfortably under his attention. Very few people are aware of my past with Lawson and it’s not something we typically have to address outside of the Calhouns and our immediate friends. We aren’t very good at making it a comfortable topic of discussion just yet.
“Has… does… Lawson, does he…” The poor guy is struggling but we can tell what he wants to ask.
I decide to take the lead on this answer because it only looks like the truth if I say it. “Lawson is well aware of mine and Reece’s relationship.” I smile to make him comfortable and I play the old role of the convincing lawyer. “He and I were a long time ago, and well, truthfully we were never serious, more like very close friends. I’m lucky that it allowed me to meet Reece. Fate maybe.”
I look over at Reece affectionately and put the show on for Jack and he seems to be sold by my intent. Reece also beams under my affection and praise. I know he would like for that to be true, but he knows. He knows that Lawson and I were an ugly and very difficult couple but nonetheless we were much more than the friends I am claiming to Jack.
“Well then, I’m so very happy for the both of you. Maybe a wedding in the future then, huh?” He clinks his beer against Reece’s and Reece confirms.
&
nbsp; “Maybe if I can keep hold of her,” he says. “I’d be a very lucky man if she’d let me.”
I raise my eyebrows at him mischievously, but both the men laugh. Jack and Reece move on to chatting business and Reece updates him on his current job as a chef but also explains that he’s looking to open a restaurant of his own in the next year and Jack generously offers to invest in such an endeavor. I take the moment to excuse myself to the ladies’ room as I just need a break from it all.
When I return the gathering seems to be breaking up some and William and Reece are in agreement to head home. The two of them chum it up on the ride and I allow myself a moment of reflection as I stare out the window during the brief trip home. I feel tired from the sun, the beer, the small talk with strangers, and then the marriage talk. Reece and I have talked about the future, a lot, but we’ve been avoiding the marriage discussion probably because I hadn’t seen his family since we began dating. Maybe that’s why he felt so comfortable putting it out there today when we talked with Jack, maybe this is what he’s been waiting for. Holy shit. What if he proposes while we’re here? He wouldn’t do that. He knows we like our privacy and that I would never want that to happen here of all places. Reece knows me better than that I remind myself on the ride home.
When we arrive, I collapse onto the couch with the intention to take a nap, as my mind is still distracted with my earlier thoughts. Reece joins me and I lean into him on the couch, propping my feet up on the other side. He too, leans back as if to take a nap with me, but I know I won’t rest until I clear the air.
“Hey,” I say, not looking up at him.
“Hmm?” he mumbles, not lifting his head.
“What you said back at the club… about marriage.”
“Don’t overthink it, Farah. We can talk about it whenever you want, but let’s do it after we survive this week, huh?”
I smile and nod my head against him, so he feels me but can’t hear me confirm. That’s all I needed, to know we were on the same page. We should probably talk about marriage, we’ve discussed everything else about our future. I’m just happy to hear this wasn’t some plotted proposal week. I wouldn’t have been able to handle that on top of everything else.
The front door opens and Emily comes bustling in.
“Oh good you’re here,” she says but I’m not sure which of us she’s speaking to. “I just got done volunteering at the church and I need to go shopping for the gala. Won’t you come with me and help me pick something out?”
Now I know she’s talking to me. I really don’t want to go. I’m exhausted from being out all day already and just wanted to nap, but I do need a dress for the gala later this week as well.
“Yeah, sure Emily. Let me go freshen up.”
“Oh fantastic. I’ll meet you back down here in about fifteen minutes,” she says and turns to head toward her bedroom.
I groan into Reece’s chest and he laughs at me. “I told you that you should have bought something in Portland.”
“I didn’t have time. Shifts at the hospital have been crazy lately.”
“I know, babe. Just find something fast and get back here. We don’t have anything to do tonight for Lawson so we can stay in and watch a movie in the theater room.”
That does sound amazing.
“Won’t you come with us? Help be the barrier?”
“Have you ever heard a little tune by the artist Meat Loaf… it’s called ‘I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That.)’” Again, he sings the name of the title to the tune of the song.
“I better go run a brush through my hair and change clothes. Maybe I’ll just tell her that all of them look awful except for one so she will decide quickly.”
“You’re evil,” he says, but kisses me.
“I know.”
~
The mall is quite busy. The common area is filled with young kids loitering around looking for free entertainment. Emily leads me toward the Neiman Marcus where she states she spotted a dress earlier this week she wanted to try on. I wander through the racks looking for my own dress as well while she makes a pile of things she wants to try on. There are various beautiful garments but I’m not looking to pay an arm and a leg for something I only plan to wear once. Neiman Marcus is probably not the store I should be shopping in.
“Farah, darling, let’s take our items to the fitting room,” she says before she spots my empty arms. “Oh, didn’t find anything you liked, dear?”
“No, nothing that would be flattering on me. I’ll look again later this week.”
She nods at me and gestures for me to follow her to the fitting room. I wait on one of the sofas and type a text out to Reece.
Miss you, it reads. I immediately get a ping back.
You know I hate every second away from you. I took a quick little nap and now I’m cooking us something for our movie night, complete with dessert.
I’ve never dated a romantic before, but Reece, he has this shit down. Can’t wait, I type out.
Emily comes out in her first dress, a plum gown with beaded top.
“I just love this color,” she says. “What do you think, dear? Does it look alright?”
“Yes, that looks wonderful on you, Emily. The plum shade complements your coloring.”
She beams at this and for just a moment I forget that she hasn’t always liked me. Maybe that wasn’t it after all, maybe I don’t understand because I don’t have children of my own, but maybe she was just protecting Lawson and me all those years ago and it had nothing to do with who I was or their personal opinions.
“Are you sure you even want to try the others on?” I ask her.
“Absolutely, we have to be sure,” she says to me like it was the most ridiculous suggestion she’s ever heard. I nod my head at her and give her a smile and wait while she glances at herself in the mirror one last time before heading back into the dressing room.
Naturally, after seven more dresses, Emily chooses the original plum dress she came here for and makes her purchase. I leave empty-handed with a reminder to find a less expensive place within the next couple of days to get my own. When we arrive back at the house, Reece has the dining room table set… for four, and while I should have expected he wouldn’t exclude his parents, I was hopeful. I head straight for him and wrap my arms around him and Emily heads back to their room to hang her dress.
“Hey, handsome.”
“Hey, beautiful. Did y’all find something?”
“Your mom found a beautiful dress, but I’ll have to go back and do some bargain hunting.” He kisses me on the forehead and smiles. “It smells wonderful, what are we having?”
“Eggplant parmesan with fried zucchini and squash.”
“One of my favorites!” I clap excitedly and he laughs.
“You say that about everything I make you.”
Emily and William join us in the kitchen and Reece takes the moment to flatter his mother.
“I hear you’re going to be the most beautiful woman at the gala,” he tells her.
“For what she spent on that dress, she ought to be,” William retorts. Emily ignores his comment.
“Well, that’s very kind but I’m sure Farah will find a suitable gown of her own and show all us middle-aged women up.”
She really has tried to be kind today and I’m grateful that they care enough to make the attempt this time around. Dinner is pleasant and we continue the small talk with them asking more questions about my job and future plans in the hospital, and I even vulnerably share my desire to work in more administrative positions after a few more years when I have the experience to apply for one of the positions. I haven’t seen or heard from Lawson since this morning unless he dropped by while I was out, and I prefer it this way. It seems civil and less tense when he isn’t around. It feels like we could actually make this work if we put in a little effort to overcoming the past. Once dinner’s cleared, I clean up the table, letting William and Emily go off to bed and Reece helps me. We decid
e to watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest with Jack Nicholson. We laugh at the ridiculous scenes and Reece gets a kick out of referring to me as Nurse Ratched and picturing me at work in the ER, bossing people around and putting my unused lawyer skills to work.
CHAPTER 10 – PAST
I spent the majority of the weekend over at Lawson’s, never staying the night, but basically every waking moment. He kissed me senseless until my lips were raw and every time the room became heated, he took the initiative to back off first, even when I could tell he didn’t want to. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve felt drawn to him since I first saw him. Until Friday I just figured every girl did, but I have to admit that he and I together are something different, something that feels powerful and the vulnerability in it excites me. However, now that it’s Monday the pit in my stomach is forming.
Both Saturday and Sunday I woke to texts asking me what I wanted to do that day and so far this morning I haven’t heard anything. My foot tapping through my entire first class has everyone around me annoyed and I count the seconds on the clock until it’s over. When we are finally released, rather than bolting from the class, I take my time. I have no doubt that Lawson will be in his normal spot in the courtyard, I just haven’t decided how I should approach, or if I do at all. I argue with myself, the different options, playing different scenarios. It shouldn’t be this difficult, or anxiety-ridden. It is though. Nothing with Lawson will ever be easy and I know that. I’m not fooling myself, I’m just trying to figure out how to navigate through the options.
When I reach the edge of the courtyard, I look over to the railing where Lawson can usually be found, and I’m not surprised to see the usual set of groupies loitering. It’s a bit like a lawyer’s wife sign-up sheet over there. I still have a few minutes before I need to get to my next class, but I decide just to head straight there. I’m not interested in embarrassing myself like last week, and it’s very possible that Lawson has changed his mind or just needs a break from this past weekend. It doesn’t stop me from peering over and looking at him. He’s really gorgeous. He looks the part of a politician, kind eyes, charming smile, and confident posture.