Lesbian Stepmother

by Amy Polino

  Summer eventually came and once again I found a job. I didn’t even bother applying at Six Flags, because I couldn’t face going back there and being reminded of my perfect summer with Dianne. Our little funnel cake stand would just have to be run by someone else, as sad as that seemed. I didn’t even want to think about it. I took a job in a fabric store near the parkway, working the register and stocking the shelves. I worked mostly alone, which I suppose suited me, and the days slowly passed.

  Before I knew it, summer was over and I was in my senior year of high school. Still no girlfriend, or any other friends for that matter. I was so used to being sad and depressed again that I didn’t even really think about it anymore. It’s just my natural state, I guess. Dianne had been a brief respite from my destiny of a lifetime of misery. God, I missed her so much!

  I slogged through school again, barely even noticing what was going on. I was dimly aware that I was going to have to start college next year or find a more serious job, but I really wasn’t in any position mentally to give that much thought. One thing at a time. The days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. Before I knew it, Christmas came and went again, and then New Years.

  A funny thing happened just after New Years.

  Like I told you already, me and my father never really spent much time talking with each other, and that certainly hadn’t changed. We cared for and respected each other in our own devoid way, and we helped each other out like any family who shares the same house; he worked and paid the bills, and I did most of the grocery shopping, cooking and laundry. We were both naturally neat people and kept the place very clean. Neither of us had any complaints; we coexisted peacefully and without any real issues. But I was so used to him spending all his free time working from his easy chair that it came as a real surprise to me when he told me one night that he’d been dating a woman for the past several months.

  At first I thought I’d misunderstood him. Surely, my father couldn’t be dating anyone. He hardly ever even left the house other than to go to work. And since losing my mother, I never even thought he’d spent any time thinking about other women. That was kind of ridiculous, I know, but it’s how I perceived things.

  “What?” I asked him. He was sitting in his chair, as usual, with a stack of papers in his lap and a glass of iced tea on the end table beside him. I was lying on the couch and reading an English assignment, a novel called Death On The Installment Plan, by Celine.

  He pursed his lips and rubbed his chin, an annoying habit of his when he was forced to repeat himself. “I said, I’ve been seeing someone. It’s gotten pretty serious.”

  I closed my book, sitting up slightly. “Serious?” It was true that we didn’t have a chatty, friendly relationship, but I was very comfortable living with him in our house, just the two of us. The idea of someone else suddenly intruding on that didn’t bode well with me.

  He nodded. He was an introvert, not unlike me, I suppose, and he was also a rather handsome man. He had just turned 38 and was still thin with a full head of thick, dark hair. He wore glasses, and they lent him an air of intellectualism. There was no reason in the world why he wouldn’t be interested in dating someone. I almost never thought about it, but he must have been just as lonely as me. “Very serious. In fact, this past week we’ve been discussing the possibility of...” He trailed off, looking away from me.

  “Possibility of what?”

  He did that pursing thing with his lips again, like he had to pucker them up in order to answer a question he’d rather not answer. “We’re not sure. We’ve just been... discussing things.”

  “You mean like her moving in here?” This was an easy assumption, because otherwise he probably wouldn’t have mentioned her to me at all.

  He shrugged. “Maybe. Possibly.”

  “Where was I during all this dating? I never even knew you were seeing someone.” I wasn’t angry, just surprised. More than surprised, really; I was shocked.

  “She hasn’t been to the house yet. We’ve been working together for a couple of years now. We have lunch together, among other things.” He smiled at me. “Her name is Susan. She wants to meet you.”

  “She knows about me?” I realized how stupid the question was as soon as I asked it.

  “Of course. She knows all about you. I’m sorry I never mentioned her before, I just...” He shrugged again. “I never really thought it would lead this far. We were friends for a long time, and...”

  He was good at not quite finishing sentences. “I can’t believe you never even hinted at this before. You’re really seriously thinking of having her move in here with us?”

  His lips did that thing again, and he scratched his head. “Maybe. I’m not sure.” He looked at me very directly. “I want you to meet her, Amy. I want to make sure the two of you... get along. If the two of you... like each other, which I’m almost certain you will... well, then... why not?”

  I had to think about it. It seemed to make sense. It would be completely unfair of me to deny him this, especially since I’d probably be moving out sooner or later anyway. I’d be graduating high school in June, and I’d also be eighteen soon. “Were the two of you thinking about getting married? Or just living together?”

  “I don’t know.” He shifted in his chair, looking uncomfortable now. “Well, I mean, she did bring it up. But I just don’t know. I guess the thing to do is to play it by ear.”

  “Does she have kids?” I had so many questions.

  “No. No kids. She’s all alone, never been married.”

  “How old is she? Is she pretty?”

  He laughed, something he rarely did. “She’s a little younger than me. Just a few years. And yes, she’s pretty. I really think you’ll like her, Amy.” He picked up his iced tea and took a drink.

  “When will I meet her?”

  He shrugged again and licked his lips. “I don’t know. How about tomorrow, at dinner?”

  “That would be fine.”

  He nodded again and set his glass back down on the end table. “Good. I think it might be kind of nice... having someone here...”

  I know he was worried about trying to justify replacing my mother. It wasn’t necessary. It had been a long time, and he deserved not to be alone for the rest of his life. Just like I did. “It’s okay, dad. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  He smiled, looking genuinely relieved. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

  “Maybe I can make that Mexican casserole you like.”

  “No. Susan wants to bring dinner. You don’t have to do a thing.”

  “Oh. Okay.” It sounded easy enough. Perhaps she really was a good person. I was certainly willing to give her a chance.

  “Good, good. It’s settled, then. You’ll meet Susan tomorrow.” He sighed and bent back over his papers, losing himself in the world of accounting.

  I sat and thought about things for awhile. I wasn’t sure what to make of any of it.

  * * *

  Now, before we go any further, I just want to remind you that at the beginning of this book, I told you that I wanted to fill you in on some background information. Well, that’s what I just did. I was originally going to start this whole thing with the next chapter, but if I had done that you wouldn’t really know anything about me or what my life had been like up until now. I thought it might really be helpful for you to know about my mom and my trouble with those boys and especially about my wonderful summer with Dianne.

  But really, what my story is about, is Susan.

  Chapter 5

  I normally arrived home from school about an hour before my father got home from work, so the next day when I let myself into the house I was relieved to see that no one was there yet. I had been feeling nervous all day about meeting Susan, and was kind of half-way hoping she’d change her mind and decide not to come. I could always make spaghetti later and everything would continue on as normal.

  I watched TV for a little while, as usual,
and then did a little bit of homework. I didn’t have much, and was still doing as little as possible in order to simply pass my classes. My future was in serious doubt and I didn’t really care. When you’re depressed all the time, that’s kind of the way it goes.

  My father got home at his usual time, about quarter after five. He greeted me and immediately took off his coat and started tidying up the room, looking as nervous as I felt.

  “What time is she supposed to get here?” I asked him.

  “I’m not sure. Could be any minute.”

  “Didn’t she just leave work when you did?”

  “No. She’s part time. She only works six hours a day. So, she’s had a couple of hours already to go home and prepare whatever she’s preparing.”

  I watched him adjust the throw pillows on the couch and shook my head. “It looks fine in here, dad. There’s no reason to straighten up.”

  He nodded. “You’re probably right.” He looked around, trying to determine if anything was out of place. “Still, it doesn’t hurt.”

  “Why don’t you just relax? If you know her well enough to consider letting her move in here, I don’t see why she’d care if the pillows are crooked or not.”

  Glaring at me, he puckered his lips. “Is that what you’re going to wear?”

  I was wearing my school clothes, which were nothing special. White jeans and a pink polo shirt. “Is there something wrong with it? Shall I put on a dress?”

  “No. No, no. That’s fine.” He disappeared into the kitchen and came back a minute later with a glass of iced tea, dropping into his chair and sighing. “I don’t know what I’m so worried about. I see her every day at work.”

  “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

  “Are you going to sit on the couch when she’s here? Or in the rocker?” There was a rocking chair in the corner that neither of us ever used.

  “Do you want me to stay in my room? I don’t want to be in the way.”

  “No! Of course not.” He took a gulp of tea. “The whole point is for you to meet her. I just... oh, jeez, I don’t know what I want.”

  It suddenly occurred to me that maybe he didn’t even want this Susan coming over. Maybe he didn’t even like her. It was possible that she had pushed her way into his life and was somehow taking advantage of his unsure demeanor. He seemed happiest when he was lost in a tall stack of complicated papers. “It will be fine, dad. There’s plenty of room for both of us on the couch.”

  He considered it and then nodded. He was just reaching for his briefcase in hopes of getting a little work done when the sound of a car engine filled the room. Then it stopped and a moment later a car door slammed. He hopped up out of his chair and dashed to the window, peeking out.

  “It’s her. She’s here.”

  “Jesus, dad, relax. We were expecting her, remember?”

  He released the drapes and backed up, rubbing his hands together. You’d have thought he was a teenager preparing for his first date. No wonder I was such a mess. He glanced at me, tugging at his chin. “I think I’ll have a little drink. A real one.”

  I know he kept a bottle of scotch in the cabinet above the refrigerator. He rarely touched the stuff, but he did imbibe every so often. I think he went through a fifth every two or three years. “That’s probably a good idea.”

  He nodded and then unlocked the front door. He opened it before Susan had a chance to knock or ring the bell; there was just no way he could wait that long.

  He smiled as he greeted her. “Susan! Hi!” He held the door open wide, a cold gust of January air blowing into the room.

  As I watched, a woman appeared in the doorway. My father moved aside to allow her to enter, and she stepped up and into the living room, her blonde hair blowing around her head. “Hi, Jeffrey. Nice to see you.” She was carrying several dishes, all of them covered in aluminum foil. She took a moment to kiss his cheek and then she was right there in the room, trying to pull the hair out of her face with one hand as she looked around.

  My father closed the door, cutting off the wind. “Come on in. Let me take those.” He hoisted the dishes out of her hands and stepped off to one side. “Susan, this is my daughter, Amy.”

  Still trying to fix her hair, Susan turned and looked at me. I was almost stunned when I saw her. I had been expecting someone rather unattractive and maybe even ugly. At the very least, someone with an obvious physical impairment. I’m not sure why; like I said earlier, my father was a relatively handsome man. But he was odd, too. Whatever the reason I had thought what I did, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Susan was beautiful.

  “Hi, Amy. It’s so glad to finally meet you.” She smiled at me, showing off her perfect teeth. My father had said she was a few years younger than him, but she looked to be almost a decade younger. I’d be amazed if she was a day over 30, and she could have easily passed for 27. Her face was lovely, almost shaped like a heart with a cute little tapered chin. As she removed her overcoat, I could see that she was also very trim and shapely. She looked so good that it caused me to freeze up momentarily, unsure of what to say or how to act. I think what struck me the most were her eyes. Her eyes were a pure, icy blue. They were the same color as Dianne’s eyes.

  “Hi,” I finally managed. I tried to smile, but I’m not sure if it worked. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

  As my father hurried into the kitchen with the food, muttering to himself about how hot the plates were, Susan draped her coat over one arm and reached out a hand for me to shake. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” She was wearing a silky white button-down shirt and black slacks, and she had furry snow boots on her feet. She was gorgeous; there was no way in hell this was my father’s girlfriend.

  I reached up and took hold of her hand. It was cool and soft, the nails painted a pale pink. “I haven’t heard much about you,” I admitted. “But I’m looking forward to getting to know you.”

  She smiled brightly at my words. “Oh, that’s so sweet! You’re father told me you were a very amiable person. I see now he wasn’t exaggerating.”

  I liked her right away. The only problem was, I liked her a little too much. I knew I’d have to be careful around her, or I’d end up doing or saying something stupid. I shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. “He said amiable?”

  She giggled, causing my heart to flutter. “No, that was my word. I believe he said polite and gracious.”

  I nodded. “That sounds a little more like him. Would you like me to take your coat?”

  Susan looked around for a place to put it. There were no coat racks or anything; my father hung his on a little hook off to the side of the front door, and I kept mine in my room. When she saw the empty rocking chair she motioned to it. “May I just set it on the chair?”

  “Of course. That’s fine.”

  I watched her fold it carefully and set it gently on the seat. It was a lovely coat; I recognized it as a belted white faux fur Shearling. It went wonderfully with her hair and her furry boots. She set it down and then looked around again, taking a hesitant step toward the couch.

  “Please, sit down,” I told her. The couch was full sized, and I was scrunched off to one side of it. There was plenty of room.

  “Thank you.” She smiled at me again and took a seat, setting her small white purse on the coffee table.

  Just then my father appeared in the doorway, rubbing his head. “Um... I’m not sure what you want to do about dinner. Shall I get it set up now, or should we wait?”

  “I guess we could eat now, if you’re hungry,” Susan answered. “That way nothing will need to be reheated.”

  My father nodded. “Okay, good. I’ll get it ready.”

  “Do you want help?”

  “No. Just relax. It’ll just take a couple of minutes.” He disappeared back into the kitchen.

  Susan sighed and settled back on the couch. She turned her head and looked at me. “It’s a very nice home you’ve got here. So cozy.”
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  “Thank you.” She was wearing a very subtle perfume, and I found it to be very alluring. I wanted to sit closer to her, but for all the wrong reasons. I felt very confused about this sudden development, and wasn’t sure what to say or how to act. If she’d been a homely old cow it would have made things much easier, although certainly not as interesting.

  She saw the book I was holding and smiled again. “Wow, I haven’t seen that book in years.”

  It surprised me that she’d ever seen it. It was very obscure, and I was really enjoying it. “You’ve read it?”

  “I think I’ve read it three times. Have you read his first book? Journey?”

  “No. Not yet, anyway. But I’d certainly like to. I love this one.”

  “It’s wonderful. Did you meet Courtial yet?”

  It took me a moment to realize she was referring to a character in the book. “No. Not yet. I’m not even halfway done.”

  “Oh, there’s a lot of good stuff coming up.”

  It impressed me that she’d read the book. It also caused me to wonder further why she was interested in my father. She seemed far too good for him somehow. Maybe I just wasn’t giving him enough credit. “Did you read it in high school?”

  “No. I didn’t discover it until college. It wasn’t an assignment, it was just something I found on my own.”

  “Where did you go to college?”

  “Rutgers.”

  “Did you like it?”

  “Some of it, sure. Not all of it. I was taking eighteen credits a semester, and working twenty hours a week, so it was kind of rough. I think I went two whole years without sleeping more than four hours a night.”