Winter's Harbor

by Aurora Rey

  “Okay, then,” Stacia said. “That settles that. Ante up ladies. The game is five-card draw. Deuces and one-eyed jacks are wild.”

  Everyone made a point of focusing on their cards and Lia breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure if her last statement was more for their benefit or her own. Either way, it was a good reminder of where she stood. She looked at her hand and found a pair of jacks, each of them with only one eye. She kept her face straight and started raising the bet slowly, not wanting to scare anyone away from throwing their dimes and quarters into the pot. If only she was as lucky in love as she was in cards.

  It was a little after nine when the poker game ended. She was ahead almost twelve dollars—quite a haul for nickel-dime-quarter. She pulled up behind Alex’s car and sat for a moment. She’d meant what she said. She and Alex were having a good time, and that’s exactly what she needed right now. If it felt a little unnatural, it was only because that wasn’t how she usually thought about relationships. She really wasn’t looking for anything more.

  As she was getting out of the car, Alex emerged from the back door with Murphy. “I thought I heard a car. Go on in and make yourself comfortable. We’ll be up in a few minutes.”

  Lia went upstairs and thought for a moment, then went into Alex’s bedroom and opened the closet doors. She smiled at the neat rows and perfectly stacked piles—T-shirts and chef coats and at least a dozen pairs of jeans. She selected a simple white oxford.

  After she changed, Lia went to Alex’s nightstand for matches to light the candles scattered around the room. She pulled open the drawer, but instead of matches, Lia found herself staring at a flesh-colored dildo and a black leather harness. Her breath hitched; she resisted the urge to touch it.

  Lia closed the drawer, opened the other one, and pulled out the matches. With her mind racing, she went around the room, lighting candles. Her friends at the poker game had made it pretty clear Alex never wanted for company. This just proved the point. Alex wouldn’t have such a thing handy if she didn’t use it on a regular basis.

  Really, though, was that so bad? Alex knew what she wanted and she went after it. For the time being, she wanted her. There was no reason not to enjoy it, to revel in being desired. Lia wanted to live up to that desire.

  She wondered why Alex hadn’t suggested they use it. Was Lia supposed to know, to be the one to request it? Alex was probably used to confident and experienced women, women who knew their desires and didn’t hesitate to ask for what they wanted. How could she ask if she didn’t even know what she was missing? She paced around the room, aroused and a little anxious, trying to decide what to do.

  When Alex came in with Murphy, Lia was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, trying to look casually sexy. She was wearing nothing but the shirt she’d pulled from Alex’s closet. The bottom hem grazed the tops of her thighs and she’d left it unbuttoned. She hoped she looked more confident than she felt.

  “That’s a good look for you.”

  Lia offered a slow smile, willing herself to be cool. “Thanks.”

  Alex crossed the short distance between them and slid a hand under the shirt and around Lia’s waist. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want you naked.”

  Alex began walking her backward toward the bed. Lia complied, tugging apart the button fly of Alex’s jeans. Alex stepped back and stripped off the sweater she was wearing. She pulled Lia to her, started kissing her neck and breasts. There was an urgency, an insistence that wasn’t like their previous times together. Alex’s hands were possessive, a little rough.

  Lia had a flash of Alex tossing her on the bed, nudging her thighs apart, thrusting into her. She wanted that. Her insides ached for it. She tried to focus on that instead of the doubts it stirred up.

  “Wait.” When she got no response, Lia lifted her hands to Alex’s shoulders and pushed against her. “Alex, wait.”

  Alex froze, lifted her head. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  Oh, God. She wanted that cock, as much as she wanted to be the kind of woman Alex desired. Did she have the guts to do it? “Do you enjoy having sex with a…um…strap on?”

  Alex pulled further back, looked at her searchingly. “Where did that come from?”

  Lia flushed. “I was looking for the matches you keep in your nightstand. I wasn’t trying to snoop, I swear, but I opened the wrong drawer.”

  Alex nodded. “It’s okay. Are you into that? Is it something you want?”

  Lia resisted the urge to look away. “Maybe?”

  “Maybe?”

  “Yes.”

  Alex looked at her quizzically. “Yes maybe, or yes it’s something you want?”

  “Yes, it’s something I want.”

  “Okay. It kind of sounds like you aren’t sure.”

  “I’m sure. It’s just…” So much for sophistication. She was basically outing herself as having no experience. “I haven’t before.”

  Alex looked shocked. “You haven’t…ever?”

  This was a terrible idea. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

  Alex swallowed and looked at her in a way Lia couldn’t read. “No…God…I’d love to. Give me one second.”

  Alex went to the nightstand, then disappeared into the bathroom. Lia stood where Alex left her and tried not to fidget. Was it that simple? She bit her bottom lip, as much out of nervousness as arousal. When Alex emerged, she had stripped down to a pair of tight, black boxer briefs. Lia could make out a distinctive bulge and it made her mouth water.

  Alex walked over to her and slipped the shirt from her shoulders. It fell in a pool on the floor. “We’ll go slow. Okay?”

  “Okay.” She was doing this. There was no turning back now.

  Alex guided her to the bed. She nudged Lia onto her back, then climbed in. Bracing herself on one elbow, she started kissing her way down Lia’s torso. “I want to make sure you’re really wet.”

  Lia let out a shaky laugh. “Oh, I don’t think that’s a problem.”

  When Alex slid her fingers over her, Lia was nearly dripping. Alex slid off her briefs and positioned herself between Lia’s thighs. “You’re sure?”

  Lia looked at the silicone cock, held in place with a black harness. The muscles inside her began to clench in anticipation. Her breath hitched. “I’m beyond sure.”

  Alex moved closer and Lia felt the tip of the cock ease inside her. The feeling was exquisite, unlike anything else she’d ever felt. Her brain screamed more and deeper; she had to fight to remain relatively still. She locked eyes with Alex. “Yes.”

  Alex eased farther inside, then stopped, as though she was trying to give Lia a moment to adjust to the sensation. Lia groaned and arched her hips. Alex eased out just a little and then back in. After what felt like an eternity, Alex filled her the rest of the way. Lia pulled her in and held her tight.

  Eventually Alex began to move, with strokes that were slow and even. Lia lifted her hips, rising to meet her each time. Her thrusts became longer and deeper.

  “You okay?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  Alex leaned down, pulling her into a kiss that felt equal parts reassuring and possessive. It was like she’d flipped a switch or, somehow, granted Alex permission to take what she wanted. Alex’s movements became more forceful, more demanding. Lia hadn’t realized how badly she wanted to be taken.

  She opened her eyes and stole a glance at Alex. Her eyes were closed and she seemed completely carried away, lost in the moment. The rhythm grew increasingly frantic, and Lia couldn’t help making little noises each time Alex filled her completely. Lia dragged her nails down Alex’s back, begging to be driven harder, higher.

  The pressure built quickly and the orgasm pounded through her. She felt Alex grow rigid, heard her groan. When the spasms finally ebbed, her bones felt liquid and her muscles quivered.

  “I’m crushing you.” Alex had collapsed on top of her.

  “No, you’re fine. Don’t go.”

  Alex obliged, but propped herself slig
htly on one elbow. She looked down at Lia and smiled. “That was hot.”

  Yeah, it was hot. Lia was a little shocked by just how hot it was. Alex knew exactly what to do, and made Lia feel things she didn’t even know she could feel. Now didn’t seem like the time to be emotional, though, or philosophical. “Mmm hmm.”

  “You’re really sexy.”

  “Ditto.”

  Alex got up to blow out candles and slip out of the harness. She climbed back into bed, pulled Lia close and kissed her shoulder. She was asleep almost instantly. Lia remained awake, Alex’s words playing over and over in her mind. It had been beyond hot, but she had a hard time believing it had anything to do with her. Alex had the kind of skills that could only come with lots of practice. Lia didn’t want to think of how much practice—with how many women—Alex had. She needed to keep perspective and remember that, no matter how good the sex was, it was still just sex.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Lia continued to spend most of her days at the café, most of her nights with Alex. It wasn’t that there was an expectation. More often than not, though, they’d have dinner together. Dinner inevitably led to kissing, which led to lovemaking, which led to neither one of them wanting to leave the warm cocoon of each other’s arms.

  She would get up at five with Alex, go home to shower and change and putter, then return to the café around eight. She wasn’t hiding it from anyone, and she was pretty sure Jeff knew exactly what was going on, but it was a routine that worked. If she had moments of wondering what the hell she was thinking, they were few and far between. As long as they didn’t talk about feelings or futures, she figured she was all right.

  On one of what had become a typical evening for them, Lia was cooking dinner in Alex’s kitchen. The mushrooms at the market that day looked promising, so she had decided on a risotto. In one pan she cooked the mushrooms in batches so they’d brown. In another, she sautéed onions and leeks and garlic in a mixture of butter and olive oil, then added the rice.

  “May I?” she asked, gesturing at the bottle of wine Alex had just opened.

  “Of course. There’s a second in the fridge if we need it.”

  “Perfect.” Lia added wine to the rice and vegetables, stirring as it bubbled vigorously. When most of it was evaporated, she added the cooked mushrooms and two ladles of vegetable stock and continued stirring. “I’m pretty much stuck here for the next twenty minutes, so I’m going to leave entertainment up to you.”

  Alex sipped her wine, looked like she was considering her options. “Okay. Let’s play twenty questions. I’ll go first. Why did you come to Provincetown?”

  Lia cocked her head. “That’s not how that game works, you know.”

  “It’s my own special version. Do you want to play or not?”

  “Why do I get the feeling this is more like Truth or Dare?”

  “Well, if you answer the questions, you don’t have to worry about dares.”

  She considered. They really hadn’t talked too much about their pasts. This might prove enlightening. “Okay. I’m game. What was the question?”

  “Why did you come to Provincetown? I know you were getting out of a relationship, but moving here in the winter seems a little extreme.”

  “It wasn’t really extreme. I wanted to get out of New York City as much as I wanted to get away from Dani, and I refused to move anywhere below the Mason-Dixon line. I love it here, so it felt like the perfect place to come for peace and quiet, and to figure out what I wanted to do next.”

  “Is your ex the one who wanted to live in New York?”

  At this point, thinking about Dani wasn’t nearly as painful as it had been. It was more that talking about her felt intimate. Thus far, they’d talked only casually about past relationships. For Lia, it was one of those lines in the sand that kept things with Alex from teetering into serious relationship territory. She crossed it with trepidation.

  “Oh, yeah. Power suit lesbian all the way.” It was an accurate description, Lia realized, although she hadn’t used the phrase before. She sipped her own glass of wine. “This is very good, by the way.”

  “Thanks. The new guy at the wine store recommended it.” Alex crossed her arms and leaned forward. “Power suits. Really?”

  Lia set down her wine and resumed stirring the risotto. “Really. She’s a financial analyst in the International Securities Division of Goldman Sachs.”

  “That sounds intimidating.”

  “One of the reasons she likes it. It also supports her love of designer suits and technological gadgets.”

  Alex frowned. She hadn’t really known Lia long enough to know her type, but Alex had a hard time imagining that designer clothes and expensive toys was it. “How did you get together?”

  Lia put her hands on her hips. “Am I going to get a turn?”

  “I promise, but we’re on a roll here. Give me a few more.” For some reason, it felt really important that she know the answer.

  Lia rolled her eyes in what Alex hoped was mock annoyance. “Fine. In college. We both went to Smith. Even though she was an Economics major, it was a pretty small place. We bumped into each other often enough. She was gorgeous and quite the mover and shaker on campus.”

  “And you’re drawn to the Wall Street types?” Alex tried to keep her tone light.

  “No, actually, not at all. Danielle was always ambitious, but she was more idealistic while we were in school. She wanted to change the world.”

  Alex nodded, relieved. She tried to conjure an image in her mind of a young Lia, wrapped up in young love.

  “She had presence, you know? When she walked into a room, everyone’s eyes were on her. When she spoke, everyone listened. I was a little bit star struck. She paid attention to me and I was gone. She didn’t go ‘Wall Street’ until grad school. She worked as a finance associate, then analyst, for a couple of years, made the right connections, and got into the MBA program at NYU.”

  “The Stern School.”

  Lia raised her eyebrows. “You know it?”

  Alex chuckled. “Indeed. While I was busy pursuing my Iron Chef fantasies, Meg was earning her MBA. Her area, however, is organizational behavior.”

  “Small world it is. When was she there?”

  “Um, eight or nine years ago. Yes, because she worked for a couple of years after undergrad.”

  “Danielle was there at the same time. Freakishly small world.”

  Alex laughed at that. “They could have had a class together. How weird is that?”

  “Weird. I know you were at the Culinary Institute. Where did Meg go to college?”

  “She was a UMass girl. She got a full ride and used her share of the college fund to buy a car. She’s always been very practical. I just realized I don’t know anything about your family. Do you have siblings?”

  Lia smiled. “Do I ever.”

  While Lia continued to add stock and stir the pot, Alex asked her far more than twenty questions about her family. It was easy to get her to talk while half of her attention was on her pot. When it was done, Lia served it up and they stayed at the bar to eat.

  “I can’t believe you have three brothers.”

  “I think it helped that I was the baby. Michael, the oldest, was ten by the time I was born. They went the protective older brother route instead of tormenting me. Not that they didn’t occasionally torment me.”

  “That sounds really nice.”

  “It was. And although they didn’t quite know what to do with me when I came out, I think it’s probably for the best that I didn’t have boyfriends in high school. They would have been brutal.”

  Alex chuckled. “I’m sure. Meg was never super girly, but I was most definitely the tomboy. I liked to think of myself as a brotherly figure, getting all puffed up and serious when she brought boys around.”

  Lia looked at the woman who’d awakened a whole new level of sexuality in her. She could so easily imagine a teenage Alex, full of bravado and swagger. She would have had such a
crush on her. “Did it work?”

  “Meg seemed to attract chronically nice guys, so it was a bit of a moot point. She was the homecoming queen who preferred the quiet, intellectual types over the football stars.”

  “And what about you? Did you attract chronically nice girls?” Lia had the distinct feeling that Alex was a heartbreaker from a young age.

  “Sort of? I think because I was so obviously a lesbian, a lot of straight girls decided to do their experimenting with me. Sometimes that was thrilling, other times less so.”

  “Did a straight girl break your heart?” Lia was thinking of her own high school years and a tall, blonde volleyball player named Mary Louise. She’d invite Lia over to study and they’d spend hours kissing and, eventually, more. When Lia came out, though, Mary Lou shut her out completely. According to Sally, she’d married a Methodist minister and moved to Tennessee.

  Alex sighed. “Her name was Jennifer. She was a cheerleader and the first girl I really fell for. After almost a year, Jenny decided she was straight, hooked up with the first baseman of the varsity team, and never spoke to me again. It’s a rite of passage, I suppose.”

  “I believe you’re right.” Lia reached over and gave her leg a squeeze. She thought it might be a good time to change the subject. “Speaking of families and rites of passage, I booked a flight to visit mine for the holidays.”

  “What? You’re leaving?” If Lia didn’t know better, she would have sworn there was a trace of panic in Alex’s voice.

  “Just for a few days. I got away with not going home for Thanksgiving, but Christmas, it seems, is non-negotiable.” In a gesture that was unusually thoughtful and assertive, Lia’s parents had insisted that she come home for Christmas. They’d gone so far as to buy her a round-trip plane ticket from Boston to New Orleans. It was a sweet gesture, but she was already anxious about spending four solid days with her family.

  “That sounds nice.” Alex couldn’t figure out why Lia’s announcement put a lump in her throat. She did her best to ignore it.

  “It is, it is. It’s just that four whole days with them seems like kind of a lot.”