The Better to Eat You With: The Red Journals

by Cara Villar

  “Jade?” It came out more like ‘shjaa..?’ even without the sheet muffling.

  Another giggle. “Yeah.” The sheet was whipped back and light assailed me.

  I squeaked, “Ohmigawd I’m blind!” And threw myself away.

  Another giggle even as she clamped down on my hand. “Don’t move, chic.”

  “Why?” I squinted.

  “I’m painting your nails,” Jade replied.

  I blinked owlishly at her. “It’s not some awful color like…neon green, is it?”

  Giggling. “No! I would never attack you with a highlighter.” My fingertips felt cold and I relaxed at her statement. “It’s eggplant.”

  “Excuse me!” My mind reeled at the idea of my nails being the color of the inside of an eggplant. Jeepers, with my complexion I’d look ill!

  “You’ll like it, I swear.” She’d said that the time she dyed my hair ‘rich mahogany’ and I came out orange! Jade’s dark ponytail slid off her shoulder as she leaned forward to blow on my nails, the lamplight beside her not so garish once I could actually see. I would say that my supernatural fast-healing abilities had rectified my burned retinas, but I’m pretty sure my eyes had just adjusted to the light. Not that I’d ever admit that to Jade-the-retina-killer.

  She continued to paint my nails in silence, the cooling sensation allowing my mind to fully wake up…and remember. I didn’t want to remember, but I made myself go over the night before. The only way to move past something was to make yourself confront it. I’d been confronting everything but the night of my turning for three hundred years. I could handle one skinned hotel maid.

  Just about.

  The drive had been full of discussion. Felix, Vincent and his lieutenants kept going over the details of the clean-up, and then the reasons behind the obvious threat. I knew exactly what the threat meant. I couldn’t get the stink of her fear, horror and blood out of my nose. Nor the aroma of pine needles and snow.

  I’d stared out the front window the entire drive, not entirely sure where we were going until we stopped. I’d looked up at an old Mayfair red-brick with a big white door and frames, a neatly cut lawn and hedge row under the front bay window, and a driveway that held three cars. I’d blinked at the dark green, shimmery Porsche with the personalized license plicense1FTR. Jade’s car. Jade herself was standing in the open doorway the next instant, holding the door as everyone filed in ahead of me. I was too numb to even offer her a smile, and everything else between was a blur.

  “Where are the others?” I asked then, and Jade glanced up at me before turning to dip her brush into the polish pot again.

  “Fletch has them sequestered in the lounge.” I frowned, and she shrugged. “He’s an empath, Red. He won’t let anyone near you until you’ve recovered.”

  ‘Recovered’. Like a trauma victim. Surely I’d seen worse… right? I shoved that thought away and arched a brow. “Then how come you are in here?”

  “Because I’m the oldest,” she replied, quick as a snap, her smile incredibly smug, despite the fact that she was only eighty-seven seconds older.

  “What time is it?” I asked next, watching as she screwed on the lid of the polish pot. I lifted my fingers and smiled in surprise. Not the inside of the eggplant, but the outside, a deep, dark purple.

  Grinning, Jade replied, “Dinner time, Red. You should eat before a hunt like this.” She pushed to a stand, her tall form stretching over me. She shifted to the end of the bed and dropped her arms with a sigh, and gestured.

  I pushed myself up, careful of my fingers, to see what she was indicating.

  “Put out some clothes for you, shoes on the floor. Bathroom is there.” She pointed over her left shoulder at a door that I thought was a closet. “Change and come downstairs.”

  My mouth twitched as she spun on thigh-high leather boot heel and left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Bossy female. Throwing back the covers, I slipped from the bed and just then noticed I was dressed only in my underwear. Praying to all that is holy, I hoped that Jade was the one who had undressed me. Padding to the bathroom door, I pushed inside, flicked on the light switch and stood before the mirror, careful to keep my gaze above the shoulders.

  I looked pale.

  That was the first thing I noticed. Given I was pale anyway, noticing when I’m even more pasty is a shocking occurrence. My freckles stood out in stark relief and my eyes looked huge. My lips looked tinted blue around the edges. I’d only seen this look on myself three times in my entire lifetime. The first time was when I had first noticed my fangs, claws and eyes. The second time had been when I’d gotten my first taste of blood. The third time was when I’d used the first to get the second, and ended up killing someone.

  And now, there that look was again.

  Maybe Fletch was right. Maybe I did need to recover.

  I turned away, pulling my hair out of what was left of my ponytail, turned on the shower, waited for it to warm, and then stepped inside to scrub away every visible reminder from the night before, though the image would forever be burned into my memories. Like Natasha... Afterwards, I scrubbed myself dry with a towel, still feeling dirty, yet knowing that, psychologically, I probably would for a very long time. I used Jade’s hairbrush and commandeered the visitors’ toothbrush to brush my teeth.

  Sick of my own reflection, even though I’d only been half-looking, I quit the bathroom and went to dress. I instantly knew from the selection that the clothes were mine, but the shoes weren’t, and that Jade had chosen my outfit. A long sleeved black top with holes for my thumbs and a V so deep it basically met the black lace bra-line that had matching panties, a distressed pair of boyfriend jeans complete with rips, and a pair of brand new black biker boots with three sets of buckles going up the sides. These were the type of boots suitable for beating the ever-living shit out of someone and nothing more, which is exactly what I needed.

  Damn, that girl knows me too well.

  I dragged my wet hair back up into a ponytail, braided it before tying off the end, and then dressed. By the time I got to the door, my hands were sweating. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my phone, opened up the door and peeked out. The landing was bright with sunlight from the windows and empty of people when I stepped out. The clear sky I could see through the window at the top of the stairs was practically a smack in the face after the night before.

  Murmured voices drifted up as I descended the stairs, and I paused at the bottom of the steps to ascertain where they were coming from. The right, which must be the lounge. I went left, and found myself in the kitchen. It was huge, styled like a cottage, with a giant stove and a deep, artists’ sink, rich wooden paneling, granite counter tops and sizeable copper colored stone tiles on the floor. There was an island too, with a rack of pans hanging over it. It was a baker’s dream. I’d have to renovate mine when I got home.

  If I ever got home. Sigh.

  The kitchen wasn’t empty, however, so I wasn’t alone.

  Felix stood at the sink, gazing out the window. His arms were crossed and a baby-blue cup sat on the counter near him, not far from a coffeemaker. The distinct aroma of coffee filled the air, as well as his icy anise scent. He turned his head then, and his gaze met mine with the infallible ease of a connection we both knew was there, but were studiously ignoring. Instinct demanded I stay away from the voices, and here I was alone with the damn Vampire. Fate was enjoying this, obviously.

  “Hi,” I said, ever the conversationalist.

  “Hey, pet,” Felix replied just as softly, turning and leaning back on the sink. I moved further into the kitchen, closer to him.

  “Is that fresh?” I asked, pointing at the coffeemaker.

  He glanced at it. “Yeah.” He gave me a sad smile as I moved closer again. It barely hinted at a dimple. “It was my turn to make it.”

  I paused, the pot hovering over the clean cup I’d taken from the drainer. “Does that mean I should wait for the next round, or something?” The barely-there grin spread an
d his dimples creased his cheeks. It was impossible not to smile along with him.

  “It’s perfectly safe,” he said, and I lifted the cup to my lips. “Just ignore the funny after taste.”

  I froze and eyed him suspiciously before I sipped. He grinned and looked down at his shoes. Luckily for me, the coffee tasted excellent. Even the silence between us was nice, like it had been in the car on the way back to Osiris’s home from mine. Companionable, as if I’d known him for years and not merely days. The sensation was a shock to realize, but not entirely unpleasant.

  “You look pale,” Felix said suddenly.

  I looked up from my cup to meet his vivid green eyes, at the moment, a fair olive with a dark ring of moss. “I just need to eat.” I shrugged, but couldn’t look away.

  “There’s food in the lounge. Those Weres really know how to eat,” he replied, turning his body to face mine and leaning his hip against the counter.

  He’d changed his clothes. A red, long-sleeved tee encased his torso and brought out the color in his cheeks. Dark blue jeans defined his muscular legs. I swallowed and looked back down at my coffee.

  “Fast metabolism,” I replied, shifting closer, unconsciously leaning toward him.

  “You eat food and drink blood. How do you find the balance?” Felix asked, and as I turned to face him, he was no more than a foot away.

  My breath halted for a moment as I look up to meet his gaze again. “I have my steaks rare.” I lowered my gaze to his chest and poked his abs, even though I really wanted to slide my hand up his shirt. “And there’s this one pain in the ass Vampire I know who keeps insisting I drink from him.”

  Felix’s lips curved into smile that was nothing if not inviting, especially when he flashed me a bit of fang. My stomach flip-flopped. “I’ll have you know,” His fingers caught mine, laced them, and tugged me close enough to touch bellies. “It takes one pain in the ass, to know another.”

  My brow arched as my free hand skimmed up his arm to his nape, my skin tingling beneath my clothes at the feel of his hands smoothing around my sides. “Is that your professional-sore-arse opinion?”

  Dimples creased his cheeks. “Aye, pet.”

  I blinked up at him, and pondered for a moment if this Immortal male was subconsciously being lumped in with my nest. Is my mind instinctively seeking out Felix to take comfort in his familiar essence? Jeepers, if it is, I am seriously fucked. I should be craving my faux fur throw that smelled like jasmine, and my old cake-tin so I could make Victoria sponges. Not rubbing up against a damn Vampire like a purring kitten, wanting to wrap myself around him until the bad man went away and I smelled like anise.

  I let out a heavy sigh and wondered why I was fighting myself, then tugged on his nape even as his head dipped.

  “Ahem.”

  I froze like a deer in the headlights and turned my head to the sound of a clearing throat. Jade stood in the doorway, rocking back and forth on the chunky heels of her brown thigh-high boots. Her thumbs were hooked in the belt-loops of her dark jean skirt, and a shit-eating grin was spread across her face. Despite the fact that I’d literally been caught with my hand in the Immortal cookie jar, trying to land a taste, I ultimately hadn’t. My body was screaming at me for stopping, not caring in the least that I might have a voyeur to my escapades.

  Blimey… am I ever going to get to kiss Felix?

  “Jade” I dropped my arms and stepped back.

  Felix let me, turning his body to lean back on the sink again. While my face was burning up enough to light a freeway, he looked as cool and collected as ever.

  “Red.” She grinned.

  Insolent baggage.

  Felix silently took up his cup and sipped, but I could see the smirk behind the rim.

  “I set some Tao chicken and Singapore noodles aside for you?”

  Oooh, Tao chicken.

  “I’ll be there in a moment,” I replied, and she nodded and wandered off. I hesitated in following her. Despite the enticing idea of Chinese food, my stomach rebelled at the idea of a whole room of people watching me eat. Nothing makes an appetite disappear faster. I turned back to my coffee cup and stared down at the dark liquid.

  “Do you want me to bring your food in here?” Felix asked softly.

  I shook my head. “I’ll have to go in eventually.” Lifting my cup, I took a fortifying mouthful, topped it up, and turned. I took a deep breath. “Seems now is as good a time as any.”

  The vamp leaned close “Is that so?” His hand slid around my hip, and his lips brushed the side of my neck.

  A shiver ran through me, and my lashes fluttered.

  “I think you should sit on my lap.”

  I stilled for an instant, and then gave him a sidelong glance. I arched my brow, felt my lips twitch, and the knot of unease in my gut began to unfurl. Naughty little sensations danced up and down my spine as I recalled the last time I had sat on his lap. His voiced echoed in my head… Ride me, pet… I shivered again, feeling his lips curve against my neck as the faint aroma of my arousal scented the air. How did he do that? It’s gotta be the accent.

  “You just don’t play fair, Vampire.” I pouted, nudging him with my elbow and heading for the door, adding a little more swish to my hips and knowing he watched me do it.

  “And you’re a bad kitty,” he replied, following me out.

  I gave him a wicked grin over my shoulder. “You just want to see what I can do with that silver whip,” I accused, the voices in the lounge growing louder.

  Felix grinned, lean dimples creasing his cheeks, making him devastating to look at. “You did say if I was good…”

  Pervy Vampire.

  As I ate Chinese food and endured the speculative glances of our companions, Felix filled me in on the plan for Ambrose’s arrest. I couldn’t entirely block out the audience though. If it was not concern from my Shifters, it was curiosity and disdain from the Were lieutenants. Those I could handle. It was Vince’s intense observation that made my innards squirm, even if I outwardly ignored him. But I got the sense his attention was less about gauging my metal stability, and more to do with that territorial streak all males suffered from. His Alpha-nature was riding him hard, and though I understood his beastly dilemma, I wasn’t about to kowtow to his authority.

  But how do you ignore nearly seven feet’s worth of Alpha male?

  With lots and lots of distance.

  So, for the last few hours before we headed over to Emerald City to join Jade and Fletch, who’d gone over earlier, I’d been avoiding the big Werewolf. Well…I’d been avoiding being alone with the big Werewolf. Working out the details with Felix, Des and Mark made dodging Vince a little less awkward. I was still not entirely sure how the Weres had gotten involved, but oddly offended that Felix was more accepting of them than me. Although, his broad shoulders, encased in a very vintage Kiss shirt, were hard to miss on their own. Add in all those tattoos that my wolfy side wanted to explore and the unrelentingly tight jeans he fitted around his backside, and it was basically a lost cause.

  It was a wonder I lasted as long as I did!

  In the end, Vince found me alone in Jade’s room. I was going through my weapons duffel, setting aside what I would take, since Fletch had cleared us for packing heat in his club. My back was to the door and my mind was on the recent email bulletin about the kidnapped Immortals—apparently a Fae prince was now among the suspected victims, as well as some selkie-harpy and a dragon Shifters. Who was this Collector bloke?

  I didn’t need to see Vince to know he was there. His Alpha aura preceded him like a prickling wave over my skin. I stilled in the process of checking the ammo in my glock when my spine tingled. As I turned to face him, he was already closing the door.

  “Are we ready to go?” I asked, feigning nonchalance even as my heart stuttered at the sight of him, all beefy arms and blond curls. Damn Alpha is too bloody imposing.

  Vince shook his head. “The Vampire can’t find his lucky boxers.”

  Funny too? No fa
ir.

  “Jade probably washed them, and now they’re no good,” I replied, and the Were grinned. I didn’t think it’d go down well if I mentioned that I didn’t think Felix actually wore underwear.

  “Damn,” The Alpha murmured as I turned back to my weapons. “Guess that means we’re staying in tonight.”

  My whole body tensed, his heat rippling up my spine as he moved closer. “Vince…” Hot, heavy hands settled on my shoulders, and a shiver went through me, so very different from the first time the big Alpha set a hand on me. “You shouldn’t—”

  “I’ve made a decision on your fate, Red.” He interrupted, his hands moving down my arms to my hips, gripping tight, his breath tickling over my hair.

  “My fate?” Heat pulsed from his hands. Power pulsed from his body. The urge to press back into him and just let him touch me all over battled with my will to not give in to his natural dominance. If I’d been just a regular Were and not a half-breed, I’d be literally bending to his supremacy, regardless of stubborn pride.

  Vince hummed an agreement, whether to my spoken words or inner-thoughts, I couldn’t say. “About whether you live or die.” He dipped his head, his stubble rasping against my neck, my earlobe. His lips brushing just below… “I’ve decided which.”

  I curled my fingers around his wrists, my heart faltering before picking up pace again, pounding in my chest. My fate. My life. His choice. Crappers… “You can decide all you want, it won’t make a difference.” Only, my hands were shaking as I moved away from him. If he decided I was too much trouble, I’d be hunted until I was dead. A prospect of which I was not entirely optimistic about, despite the fact that I probably knew all the tricks in the trade. But going on the run meant constantly roaming, and I would have to leave my nest. If I ran, I’d never have a nest again.

  “Aw, darlin’…” He spun me to face him before I ever got to the door, those big hands gripping around the waist and pinning me to the spot. “I got your scent now.” His eyes gleamed like ice, his sensuous lips quirking up into a mischievous grin. Heat flooded low in my belly as his sea salt and sunshine scent wafted around me. “I’d hunt you down until you submitted.”