Mean Machine

by Joanna Blake

  Kendall was so much taller than her that his t-shirt fit her like a dress. A very soft, very clingy dress. She pulled it away from her chest, hoping it would not accentuate her breasts quite so much.

  Nope.

  It was fine. It was dark in the bedroom. So what if her nipples were clearly visible. Nipples were natural. She wasn't being a tramp by sharing a bed on a first date. It was a matter of sheer necessity.

  This wasn't even really a date, right?

  Just to be sure she left her bra on. There was no need to take that off. Besides, she might poke his eye out with a nipple. They were visible now, but if she really let it all hang out, it would send a clear message,

  Fondle me. Um, yeah, no. She closed her eyes and said a little prayer that she would be able to control her raging hormones for a few short hours in bed with Kendall Jackson.

  Well, it's now or never.

  She took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. Kendall was staring out the window. His shirt was off. The man's muscles had muscles.

  Oh my god.

  He turned and she saw his eyes flare when he looked at her. Like she was something delicious to eat. Her stomach did a little flip flop. He crossed the room and stood in front of her.

  "You look nice."

  "I do?"

  He smiled at her in an intimate way.

  "Yeah, you do."

  He slid past her, pulling the toothbrush from her hand.

  "Be right back."

  She shook herself and climbed into bed, grabbing a fresh bottle of water. Hydration was very important when you were going to bed with your celebrity crush. She almost laughed at the inanity of that thought but she was too nervous.

  Kendall was back in less than two minutes. He kicked his shoes off and climbed into bed beside her. Well, not too close. The bed was enormous. It could have fit ten people in it.

  She blushed a little bit. It probably had fit that many people at one point or another. Kendall smiled at her and laid back, putting his hands behind his head.

  He wasn't going try and kiss her?!?

  She blinked at him. He must be tired. She was feeling pretty sleepy herself. She laid back and closed her eyes, snuggling into the blankets.

  "Sleepy?"

  "Hmmm hmmmm."

  The bed moved. She opened her eyes. He had rolled over to face her on top of the blankets. He was less than a foot away. He was making eyes at her.

  Puppy dog eyes.

  "Are you sure we shouldn't try and keep you up… just a little bit longer?"

  "I- um… sure. That would be-"

  He was on her in a second, kissing her deeply. He'd been waiting for permission she realized. The covers slowly slid down her body. She whimpered as his body pressed against hers, more intimately this time. All that was between them was his old t shirt and her bra. He chuckled as he fingered the strap.

  "I'd really like to take this off of you."

  She wanted that too… oh boy, did she ever.

  "Okay."

  He moaned and kissed her again. With one hand he pulled the t shirt up and over her head. He lifted his head and looked down at her body.

  "Oh God, you are so beautiful Jess."

  He lowered his head to hers again. He was kissing her so intently that she almost didn't feel his hand underneath her fishing for her bra hook. He unclasped it easily and then leaned back again. He was breathing heavily as he slowly pulled the bra off of her.

  He groaned as his hands closed over her breasts. She closed her eyes, loving the feel of his warm palms against her rapidly hardening nipples. She’d thought they were hard before, but now they were like sharp little spikes.

  He’d done that to her, she realized.

  Kendall Jackson, popping nipples since 1993.

  Then she felt his warm hot mouth close over one of them. He was making contented sounds as he swirled his tongue against the sensitive tip.

  She arched her back unconsciously as he worked her breasts, alternating between them. It was almost as if he couldn't get enough. Either Kendall really, really liked boobs or… he really, really liked her.

  That was an interesting thought. An interesting, dangerous thought. Then she stopped thinking at all as the pleasure overwhelmed her again.

  Kendall rolled to his side, pulling her with him. His erection was pulsing against her juncture. She could feel it through his jeans and her panties. It was hot and hard and very, very big.

  She whimpered in fear and desire all at once. He moaned as he rocked himself against her. She stopped breathing as he slowed the grinding motion. He was holding himself back, she could tell.

  "Jessica?"

  He was staring down at her. She didn't say anything.

  "Are you okay with this?"

  She nodded jerkily. He was frozen above her for a moment. Finally he sighed and rolled off of her.

  "You're not."

  He lay beside her, staring up at the ceiling.

  "Fuck."

  "Kendall…”

  She reached for him but pulled her hand back at the last second. He didn't look like he wanted to be touched at the moment.

  "Oh God- just- just give me a minute okay?"

  She nodded and tried not to stare at his bare chest as it rose and fell. He stood up and walked into the bathroom. A minute later the shower came on.

  Oh God. He was taking a shower. A cold one.

  She had really messed this up, hadn't she?

  Why did she have to freeze up? Now she'd blown it with him. What was the big deal about just going with the flow?

  But she hadn't wanted to. And he noticed.

  Somehow, that was making her want him even more.

  She pulled the t shirt back on and crawled under the covers.

  A few minutes later and Kendall was sliding into bed beside her again. He was wearing gym shorts and a plain black t shirt. She wished he had left that last part off… she was already missing the feeling of him against her chest. He smiled at her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her softly.

  Then he reached past her and turned the light off.

  "Goodnight, Jess."

  "Goodnight, Kendall."

  Chapter 23

  Kendall

  Hmmm… he reached for the warm body he’d cuddled against for hours. But there was nothing there. The sheets were cold, chilled by the perennial Vegas air conditioning.

  Kendall rolled over and stared at the light filtering through the floor to ceiling windows. The shades were partially drawn but he could tell it was late already. Around noon.

  He stretched, feeling a strange sense of contentment. That's when he realized the warm soft body he'd been holding all night wasn’t just not in the bed, it was nowhere near the bed.

  He turned just in time to see Jessica buttoning the top of her jeans. He sat up abruptly.

  "Hey."

  Her head snapped up to stare at him. She looked embarrassed and… furtive in a way. And somehow even more beautiful with her face still soft from sleep.

  The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

  She'd been about to sneak out on him.

  "Hey."

  "What are you doing?"

  She smiled apologetically as she stuffed her top into the shopping bag. He noticed that the smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

  "I have to go."

  "What? I thought we were having a good time."

  "We are. I just - I have to get to work. I already called in sick for today. Sunday is always busy at the clinic."

  He ran his hands through his hair.

  "Okay. Can I call you?"

  Her big blue eyes blinked at him in surprise. Did she really think he wouldn't want to call her after this? She had no idea how he felt about her. Or how out of character this whole night had been for him.

  "Um. Do you do that?"

  He cocked his head. He was trying not to get annoyed. One thought kept rotating through his mind.

  God dammit, she'd actually been about to
sneak out on him! Not just sneaking out either. She’s been out to sneak out without saying goodbye.

  He didn't like that. He didn't like it at all.

  Kendall sat up and crossed his arms over his chest.

  "Do I know how to use a phone?"

  She frowned and looked away.

  "That's not what I meant. Maybe it's better to just… leave it."

  He rolled to his feet.

  "Jess. I'd like to see you again."

  She shook her head.

  "That's not going to happen and we both know it.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Look, I’m sorry about last night. I should have told you that I’m…”

  Her voice trailed off and he stepped closer, his hands brushing over her shoulders. She bit her lip and looked away.

  “That you’re what?”

  She sighed and shook her head.

  “It doesn’t matter. Just leave it to say that I’m not as, you know, experienced as you are. I know when I’m out of my league.”

  Was that what was bothering her?

  “I don’t care about how many guys you’ve been with, Jess.”

  “Yeah but… I haven’t been with any.”

  “What?”

  “Never mind, I really do need to head back.”

  He stared at her. She was going to just leave. He'd never see her again. The thought sent a cold spear of fear straight through him.

  He missed her already and she was standing right there!

  "Listen, I have only got a few more shows on this leg and then I'll be back in LA in eight days. Can we do something then?"

  She frowned and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

  "You're just saying that to be nice. I know how this works. You don't have to pretend for me."

  "I'm not being nice dammit.”

  She sighed and rolled her eyes at him. Clearly she did not believe him. He tried to focus, to think of what to say, and how to get her to talk to him.

  "I really do have to go now, Kendall."

  He followed her out into the hallway.

  "How are you getting back?"

  She gave him a winsome smile that gave him a twisty feeling in his chest.

  "There's a bus. It's only fifty bucks!"

  "That's silly. Let me-"

  "No, it's fine. But- do you mind if I keep this?"

  She tugged on the button down shirt she was wearing. His shirt from last night. He shook his head.

  "Yeah, of course."

  He felt horrible. Like he was losing something precious. She didn't want him to call her though. What the hell was he supposed to do?

  He trailed her down the stairs to the front door of the suite. The place was empty thankfully. All the half naked bodies had moved to greener pastures.

  "Can I kiss you goodbye?”

  Her eyes lifted to his and she nodded. Once.

  He walked over to her and pulled her towards him. This time he kissed her with every trick he'd learned over the years. He wanted her to remember this. She kissed him back with as much feeling as he was giving her. He growled and pressed her against the wall.

  A few minutes later he realized she was gently pushing against his chest. He stared down at her tiny hands against his shirt and realized she was trying to step away from him. He dropped his arms.

  “Goodbye, Kendall. And thank you for everything.”

  She smiled at him. Then he watched her walk out of the suite and out of his life. He’d known all along she was a good girl. He hadn't realized she was a virgin. He had come on too strong, scared her off. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

  It was only when he got back upstairs that he realized she'd left all the gifts he'd bought her behind.

  Even the necklace.

  A few hours ago he’d felt like the possibilities were endless. He’d thought he might have met someone real, someone he could be with long term. Maybe forever.

  He picked up the necklace and stared at the ruby heart in his hand.

  Then he made a fist around it.

  Chapter 24

  Jessica

  Way to go, Jessalina.

  Jess stared out the window into the desert. The bus got in at 6 PM. Then she'd have to have someone come and get her. The bus stop was absurdly far from her home in Los Feliz. She fished out her phone and stared at it.

  She had 47 messages. She opened her FB. 115 alerts. Her email. 77 unread. Not to mention the missed calls.

  What the hell?

  She stared at her page in horror. Her phone had checked her in all over Las Vegas. The rides at the Stratosphere had TAKEN PICTURES of her on the rides.

  Pictures of them.

  Oh my God.

  She stared at the picture of Kendall and her on the Insanity. He looked a little scared actually. She couldn't help but smile. They looked like they were having a blast.

  No, it was worse than that.

  They looked like a couple.

  She shut her phone and covered her face with her hands. She was an idiot. She’d blown it with the ultimate dream guy.

  All because she was so certain he was going to hurt her.

  Why hadn't she given him her number at least? Left it up to him whether he actually followed through? He was famous, yes. He could have his pick of thousands of women. But he really liked her. She knew it. There was no doubt in her mind.

  Well, he did until this morning.

  There was no way he liked her anymore. Not after what she'd done. She wouldn't blame him if he even hated her a little bit.

  She'd run out on him, plain and simple. There was no use denying it.

  And now she would never see him again.

  Coward.

  First she downloaded and deleted the pictures off FB. Then she went through her texts and emails, answering the most urgent ones. The whole time, she was fighting off tears.

  Lisa texted saying she'd be happy to meet at the bus station, providing Jess gave her the gory details. Jess rolled her eyes and shoved her phone back in her bag. She leaned against the glass, pulling his shirt up to her nose and inhaling deeply.

  It still smelled like him. Clean and healthy and good.

  She curled on her side and stared out the window, wondering how the hell she'd made such a mess of everything.

  Chapter 25

  Kendall

  Why did he feel like something was missing?

  Kendall had been feeling it for days. Ever since she’d walked out on him. At first, he believed he was actually forgetting something important. His phone, or his keys or something.

  But no. It was her.

  Jessica was the one who was missing.

  Kendall had his eyes closed, ignoring everyone around him. In Tempo was doing publicity at Sirius Satellite Radio in New York City, plugging the concert happening at Madison Square Garden in couple of nights. The guys were in their element, joking around with the DJ's in the waiting room before they went into the studio. Davie was a big fan of Howard Stern but he was already gone for the day.

  "Red bull?"

  Kendall cracked an eye and shook his head. Gerald threw his arm around him.

  "Come on puddin'! Cheer up already."

  "What's wrong with you anyway?"

  Tom sat on his other side, staring at him like he was a bug. Gerald started playing with his hair.

  "You know, Tom. It's that girl."

  “The cute little one?”

  He shrugged them off.

  "Lay off guys."

  "Jeez so touchy. Why don't you just call her?"

  "I can't. I don't have her number."

  "Hell, is that what's bothering you? Perry, come here man."

  Their manager had been staring at the mini bar in the waiting room. He shuffled over to them.

  "What's up?"

  "That girl- the one from Vegas with the big-"

  "Shut up!"

  "Yeah, I remember. Cute as a button."

  Kendall glared
at them.

  "Yeah that's her. Kendall here has the hots for her. Didn't nail her apparently."

  "Awww… Does Kendy Wendy have a crushy wushy?”

  “Not helping guys.”

  “Be a man and go get her!"

  "I would if I could. I don't even know her last name."

  Perry grinned at him, popping the top off a diet soda.

  "I do.”

  "You do?"

  "I do. I needed it for the flight register."

  Perry toasted him with the can.

  "Please tell me it's not Smith."

  Perry laughed.

  "No, it's something else. Sheffield I think. I got it in my folder back at the hotel."

  Kendall pulled out his phone and opened the FB app. He hardly ever checked it anymore but it was a good way to keep in touch with family and friends from back home. A lot of them were having babies already. He'd started calling it 'Baby Book.'

  He typed in Jessica Sheffield. There were quite a few of them. He scrolled down the first page and down the next.

  Holy shit.

  There she was.

  It was that easy. Her big blue eyes were hidden by a pair of oversized sunglasses. She obviously didn't really want anyone to get too good a look at her. Her wall was covered in comments that read like a tabloid though.

  'What are you doing in Vegas, you bad girl?'

  'Kendall Jackson? DO TELL!'

  He grinned and scrolled down. All the comments were new. She'd been deleting them every couple of hours apparently. He could have warned her that people would have found out.

  But where was the fun in that?

  He spent some time poking through her pictures. Her privacy settings must be off. He'd have to tell her how to fix that asap. He was looking at an adorable picture of her from college, wearing a baseball cap and face paint at a sporting event when his screen froze. Then the whole page disappeared. He searched for her again but she was gone.

  She'd literally just deactivated her account.

  It didn't matter. He knew her name and he knew she worked at an animal hospital in Beverly Hills. He could find her now. No problem.