Fear's Whisper (Club Risque Book 2)
Page 18
"Open your eyes," Jake demanded, skimming his fingers far too softly over her mound and avoiding her needy nub.
Charlotte dragged her eyelids apart and gazed at him through half closed eyes, her pupils so dilated with the evidence of her desire that barely the rim of her irises showed.
"Yes or no?" he growled.
"Yes!" Charlotte whispered almost illegibly.
"Louder," Jake demanded. "I need to hear you. Let there be no mistake!"
Charlotte's irritation at being disturbed from her lovely floaty subspace and having her need for fulfilment denied while Jake teased her, caused her eyes to blaze and her voice to strengthen. "Yes!" she screamed. "Fuck me now, before I die of frustration, you damn torturous Dom!"
Through her hazy mind, Charlotte was aware of a moment of what seemed a deathly silence all around them. Then a sharp smack to her pussy had her squealing. Then another and another, before Jake snarled, "That is no way to address a Dom."
The shock registered only briefly as pain before it morphed into a blaze of pleasure that ran like wildfire to every molecule of her body. Once again, before she could process what was happening, Jake had her unbalanced as she was lifted and manhandled by both him and Connor, the two of them holding her up as they grabbed the ropes that dangled from the cuff above each knee and swiftly threaded them through a pulley system on the bar above her head. As they adjusted the ropes and tied them off, the purpose of the cuffs became clear. They pulled her knees up and supported her weight at the same time. The loose straps that attached her ankles to the vertical bars of the A frame allowed free movement up and down but still pulled her legs wide open so that she was splayed and suspended.
Finally, someone—Jake or Connor, she wasn't certain who—curled her fingers around the straps that secured her wrists to the horizontal bar.
"Hold the straps, not the bar," Jake ordered. "This isn't going to be gentle."
And then he was plunging his rock-hard cock inside her, using the momentum of the swing they had created to pull her towards him, even while he slammed into her—and it was wonderful. Rough and furious and deep; each penetration bounced off her cervix and mixed in pain, which only heightened her pleasure, until it twisted so tight she knew she would explode.
Do. Not. Come!" Jake ground out.
Charlotte recoiled in shock at the order, eyes wide as his intention became clear.
"I can't stop it," she shrieked, shaking her head violently.
"Yes, you can!"
Charlotte panted and scrunched up her face, desperately trying to hold back the impending orgasm that barrelled towards her at a seemingly unstoppable pace. Her core clenched around Jake's thrusting cock, as if she could physically deny the onslaught, but that just increased her need.
"Sir, I can't…" she whimpered.
"Do it, Cha-Cha!" Jake growled unrepentantly, tensing his own jaw but never slowing his pace.
Charlotte gritted her teeth, frustrated tears streaming down her face as she grunted with the effort of each exhale and sobbed on each breath she gulped in.
Jake landed several hard swats on her backside, but while they put a momentary pause on the imminent release, in the end, they only served to heighten her torment as her brain dwelled only briefly on the pain before interpreting it as pleasure and hurtling her closer to satisfaction.
Sweat beaded on her upper lip and perspiration sheened her face, mixing with her tears. Charlotte threw her head back and let out a strangled groan as she willed her body to obey as she battled to deny her own desires, against her own better judgement, as it clamoured and demanded gratification. Her entire being began to shake with the strain, her knuckles showed white in their death grip on the straps and her muscles quivered with the effort until her voice changed into a high pitched, keening wail.
Dragging in a shallow breath, Charlotte sobbed, "Please, Master, please!" She felt no shame in begging.
Pleasure stampeded through Jake's body and trampled his mind at the satisfaction of hearing Charlotte address him as 'Master' and, suddenly, his own release was upon him, taking him by surprise.
"Yes, angel. Come!" he grated. The words were barely out of his mouth before she erupted around him, screaming out her pleasure hard and loud as she climaxed, her body bucking, tight muscles massaging his shaft and sucking him dry, even while she flooded him with her own fulfilment.
Chapter 11
Charlotte was completely boneless as Connor once more helped Jake. This time, to extract her from the bondage they had put her into. The big guy held her gently in his arms, taking her weight while Jake worked on the straps and cuffs, rubbing her extremities to aid her circulation. She lay there as limp as a rag doll, her eyes closed, the only indication that she wasn't simply sleeping, the shuddering breaths that she continued to gulp in as if she had been deprived air.
Jake could sympathise; he felt much the same himself. His legs felt like soft noodles and he continued to pant, even though he was far from out of shape. If it hadn't been for the obligation he had to his sub, he might well have collapsed on the nearby couch and attempted to get his head around the whole of what had just occurred. Maybe. His head was spinning, his heart rate accelerated, and it had nothing to do with the effort he had expended and everything to do with Charlotte. He had yet to make any sense of how he was feeling. How drastically their scene had affected him.
When she was finally freed, Jake all but stumbled to the closest available seat, not daring to take Charlotte from Connor's arms as he feared he just might drop her. Instead, he dropped himself down onto the comfortable couch and motioned Connor to bring Charlotte to him.
Taking her in his arms after their intense interaction had never felt so right. She was soft and pliant, and emotion like Jake had never known before rose to thicken his throat, his voice rough as he asked Connor to bring him aftercare supplies.
Jake closed his eyes and worked on regulating his breathing, cradling Charlotte close as he waited for Connor to return. He could tell when Charlotte started to come back to herself as her body began to stiffen in his arms. She wriggled on his knee, refusing to look at his face, but just as Connor returned and helped him to wrap the subbie blanket around her, she floored him with her statement.
"I need Micah," she whispered hoarsely.
Charlotte felt Jake tense at her words, but right now, her own agitation outstripped any care she might have for Jake's feelings. He'd certainly walked away from her too many times for her to worry about offending him. Besides, it had just been a scene. Micah was her Dom, and at the moment, Charlotte was so mired in guilt that she could feel herself becoming more and more anxious by the second.
What had she done? What power did Jake Blackwood hold over her that she could succumb to his influence and give herself, once again, to a man who'd only ever turned his back on her, when she'd held herself back from her own Dom, refused him her body even after all the care and pleasure he'd brought her? She couldn't get the notion out of her head that she'd let Micah down so very badly.
The elation and fulfilment of her recent scene with Jake balled in her stomach, turning leaden and making her feel wretched.
Jake was at a loss as the signs of her distress became more and more obvious. Seeking out Connor, he gave a swift nod for him to do her bidding and go to fetch Micah. He loosened his hold on her as it became clear that, despite his good intentions, his ineffectual ministrations were only making things worse.
He tried to calm her, but she had started to shake and was now all but hyperventilating. The momentary relief he felt as he saw Micah loping through the crowded dungeon, a frown of concern etching his usually relaxed features, turned to nausea as Charlotte caught sight of him, too, and sprang away from Jake as she launched herself into the arms of her Dom.
Micah caught Charlotte in his arms, steadying himself as she all but crawled inside him, wrapping her long legs around his waist, clasping him tightly with her arms and burrowing her face into his neck. Micah turned his fr
own on Jake and the look on his face was thunderous, but all Jake could do was drag a hand through his hair and shrug his shoulders in confusion, his hands lifted in supplication. He sure as hell didn't know what had gone wrong. Micah didn't say a word; he simply motioned to Connor to bring the aftercare provisions and strode away to one of the private rooms, leaving Jake to flounder in his own confusion.
Jake rubbed at the ache in his chest, then wiped the sweat from his forehead with his arm. Grabbing for a bottle of water, downing it in a few long gulps, he wondered what the hell was wrong with him. Wondered how what had been one of the most fulfilling and pleasurable experiences of his entire life could have disintegrated so quickly and turned to dust. Playtime was over, but instead of having a warm, satisfied sub in his lap to soothe and indulge, his arms were empty. That same feeling echoed in his soul and it...hurt.
Charlotte had always been so cuddly and sweet. He recalled how she'd always wanted to burrow into him, like a contented kitten, after their previous encounters and how he had pushed her aside. He remembered her chilly reserve and standoffishness when he'd seen her before the wedding. How she'd tried to distance herself before he'd reeled her in once again, only to feed her platitudes after he'd taken all her soft willingness, just to determinedly extract himself once again.
Hollowly, Jake wondered if this was how Charlotte had felt every time he'd walked away from her and whether karma hadn't just decided to bite him in the ass.
Charlotte felt herself start to calm as soon as Connor left the small, private aftercare room and closed the door behind him. He had bundled a blanket around her, once again, as Micah settled her on his knee and cuddled her close, passed Micah a bottle of water, placed some other things close by, but thankfully said nothing as he moved her from Jake's care and into Micah's.
Her breathing evened, but almost as soon as her panic abated, the guilt reared its ugly head once more and a deep shame filled her mind, leaving her full of sorrow and regret. What must Micah think? How would she ever explain?
How could she justify actions that saw her vocally demanding sex from Jake in front of the entire dungeon when she had shied away from this wonderful, caring man who had enlightened her mind, steered her actions and nurtured her submission, asking nothing in return? And she had given him nothing. After everything he had done for her, she'd given him nothing.
And yet as soon as Jake Blackwood snapped his fingers, she had melted into a puddle at his feet. The very man who had done nothing for her. Goddesses, she was warped! All of those years at the commune had warped her sense of decency and turned her into an uncaring user, just like one of them, unable to see the value of a healthy relationship where give and take was a balance driven by trust and mutual respect.
The thought fuelled her despair, and the next moment, she was clutching at Micah's shirt, crumpling the fabric as she sobbed uncontrollably.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," Charlotte wept over and over. "How can you ever forgive me? Please forgive me," she babbled almost incoherently. Micah, with his usual calm patience, simply held her close, stroked her hair and made sympathetic shushing noises until she was finally all cried out and didn't speak until she'd let out the last hiccupping sniffle.
Micah resettled Charlotte, so her legs straddled his, and his big hands cupped her red, blotchy face as he thumbed the last of her tears away. Reaching over to the small table where Connor had placed a bunch of stuff, he grabbed a tissue and encouraged her to blow her nose. Charlotte felt like a small child sitting on her daddy's knee, but for all the guilt and confusion she felt, the vibes coming from Micah didn't make her feel like she was in trouble. It was more a tolerant and slightly amused concern that she read in his actions.
"Well, you sure as heck aren't a pretty crier, sweetheart!" he joked, trying to lighten the mood. The attempt at levity worked and Charlotte made a half laugh, half sob sound followed by a small, genuine smile.
Micah kissed her forehead and then the end of her nose, and suddenly, Charlotte relaxed and knew everything would be okay.
Looping her arms around him, she snuggled into the crook of his neck, settled by the feel of his strong hand rubbing circles across her back.
Micah allowed a few minutes of comfort before he finally asked, "So, what are you so sorry about that you think you need my forgiveness for, Charlotte?"
Sighing, Charlotte sat up, unable to look him straight in the eye, but knowing it was time to face the music.
"I had sex with Jake," she said quietly, fixing her gaze on the top button of his shirt.
"I know you did; it was a pretty spectacular scene. You pulled in quite a crowd." Micah smiled, crooking his finger under her chin and tipping her head to look at him.
"You're not mad?" She frowned.
It was Micah's turn to mirror her frown. "Why would I be mad?" he asked, in honest confusion.
"Because I never…you…we didn't…" Charlotte closed her eyes, not knowing what to say. In the end, she sighed and looked away again.
"I feel guilty," she finally told him, peeking up at him through the veil of her lashes.
Micah's frown deepened and then his eyes widened in comprehension.
"Wait a minute," he exclaimed. "You're saying you feel guilty for having sex with Jake Blackwood because you've never gone that far with me?"
Charlotte nodded miserably, and Micah caught her face in his hands to prevent her from trying to hide once again.
"Oh, sweetheart! You are going to be the perfect half of a committed, serious D/s relationship one day. You are so unspoiled." He dropped a soft kiss onto her quivering lips. "I think that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. The most beautiful sentiment any sub has ever graced me with and I can't believe that's what has you so distraught. I'm kind of honoured."
Charlotte's forehead crinkled in confusion. "I don't understand," she whispered.
"Baby, I know this is all new to you, still, but I've told you before that this lifestyle is not all about sex. I also understand, better than you give me credit for, that you have a fundamental morality problem with the casual nature of some of the intimacies that are shared here."
"I don't judge…" Charlotte protested swiftly.
Micah tapped her playfully on the nose. "I didn't say you did," he interrupted. "What I meant was that I realise that you, personally, aren't comfortable with playing with multiple partners where intercourse might be involved. I understand, all too well, that you have a desire to find something more enduring, and because I know you, I also know that you will probably develop an emotional bond with that person."
Micah stroked his thumbs gently across her cheekbones. "If I'm honest, it's for that reason that I, myself, haven't pushed you to consummate our D/s relationship."
He moved one hand and drew his thumb along her pouting bottom lip. "And I've been tempted, believe me."
Micah moved his thumb and replaced it with his mouth, capturing her lips in a sweet, honeyed kiss and grasping her hips in his big hands.
"I would have no trouble at all fucking you seven ways to Sunday," he murmured, barely lifting his mouth from hers as he ground his growing erection against her already sensitive core, reminding her that she was still naked beneath the blanket. It would take just a quick flick of the wrist to unbutton his fly and he could be deep inside her.
"I would let you," she whispered.
"I know," he groaned, resting his forehead on hers and rubbing against her once more. "I also know that I can't offer you more than a straightforward D/s relationship that I know, eventually, wouldn't be enough for you. I can't give you the emotional investment you would come to require, and I respect you too much to pretend otherwise and use you that way. You're special to me, Charlotte. You tempt me. And with you, for the first time in very many years, I have considered having a permanent submissive, but I know my limitations and I don't ever want to hurt you."
Charlotte drew her fingers softly down Micah's stubbled cheek then cupped his chin and presse
d a feather light kiss against his lips. "She's a fool…the woman who hurt you, Micah. If she could walk away from someone so amazing, then she didn't deserve you."
A deep sadness lit Micah's eyes briefly before he closed them, but he didn't deny her conjecture.
"And you're right," she continued. "You're special to me, too. I would probably come to love you if…if…" Charlotte faltered, drawing in a sharp breath as she realised what she was about to say.
"If you weren't already more than a little bit in love with one Jake Blackwood?" Micah opened his eyes and finished for her.
"I didn't say that!" Charlotte denied.
"You didn't have to. Anyone who watched your scene tonight could see the electricity between the two of you. You have an undeniable chemistry, something which is unique to the two of you and worth exploring."
"But not enough to stop him from walking away." Charlotte couldn't help the bitterness that seeped into her voice. "Repeatedly!"
"Nevertheless, he's here now, and he clearly feels the pull as strongly as you do. The question is what do you want to do about it?"
Charlotte sighed. "I don't know," she admitted. "I've always been susceptible to him. I was twelve years ago, and I still am now. He walked away not once, but twice. I'm not sure I want to make myself that vulnerable a third time."
"Why don't you think of it this way, instead. No matter how many times Jake tried to walk away, he's also ended up coming right back again. Twelve years is a long time to be hung up on someone. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe it's just that the time or the circumstances were never right before?"
Charlotte was quiet for a while, contemplating those words.
"Tell me about twelve years ago."
"There's nothing to tell. We were in Uni. Desi was my best friend; she was hooked up with Joel for a year and a half. Joel is Jake's cousin, so, inevitably, we saw each other around. That's it."
"I don't believe you," Micah stated baldly. "You brought up feelings from over a decade ago and now you want me to believe that you never fluttered your pretty little eyelashes at him, never flirted, never double dated?"