Jimmy gulped in some air. Jim is the only dad I’ve ever known, and no matter how hard I try to forget him or how many times I call him Jim, he will always be Dad to me.
He reached inside the truck for his cell phone, which he’d left lying on the seat. I’d better call Dad right now and tell him I forgive him.
“I’m glad you finally got here, Jimmy,” Eli called as he bounded across the open field where several other cars had parked. Eli had ridden over to the Stauffers’ place with his folks this morning, and they had left an hour sooner than Jimmy had.
“I’m glad I was invited,” Jimmy responded as his friend drew near. He placed the phone back on the seat. I’ve waited this long to call Dad; I guess a few more hours won’t matter.
Eli clasped Jimmy’s shoulder. “Of course you’d be invited. After all, you work for our bishop’s son, and you’ve shown yourself to be a good friend to many who are here today.”
“Any idea what I can do to help?” Jimmy asked as he and Eli headed toward a group of men who stood near the foundation where the new barn would be.
Eli nodded toward the tall Amish man with a long, flowing beard who stood on the other side of the yard talking to some of the men. “That’s Yost Zimmerman, and he’s the one to ask. Yost has built more barns and been in charge of more barn raisings than anyone I know.”
Jimmy hurried off to speak with Yost, but he’d only made it halfway there when he spotted Abraham Fisher and his two youngest boys. The twins were joking around, grabbing each other’s hats and throwing them in the air, and Abraham had even gotten in on the act.
Jimmy felt a pang of jealousy as he thought about how he’d always wanted a brother or sister. I wish my dad had paid me a little more attention instead of being too busy with his work so much of the time. Jimmy thought about his mother and how she had been the one to see that he’d been able to do some fun things. She had taken him to the park when he was little, seen that he’d gone to church activities, and had been there to listen whenever he needed to talk. If I ever have the opportunity to be a father, I’m going to be there for my kids, and I’ll make sure they have good memories from their childhoods.
Jimmy’s thoughts went to Leona. She was the kind of woman he would like to marry, but she was out of his reach—unless he decided to join the Amish faith, and he didn’t know if he could do that. Give me some sense of direction, Lord, he prayed. Show me what I should do about this, and when I talk to Dad, give me the right words.
“Where’s your mamm today?” Naomi asked Leona as they entered Nancy Stauffer’s kitchen to prepare the noon meal.”
“She stayed home with Papa.”
“Is your daed sick?”
“He’s fine. Mom decided it wasn’t a good idea for him to come here today.”
“How come?”
“He’d have probably wanted to climb onto the roof with the others who are building your brother-in-law’s barn.” Leona shook her head. “The last thing we need is for Papa to fall again.”
“I should say so. And we must pray that none of the men gets hurt today.”
“That’s for sure.” Leona moved across the room to see where her help was needed, and Naomi did the same.
A short time later, Leona stood at the kitchen sink peeling carrots and watching the progress on the barn out the window. She spotted Jimmy among those on the ground handing pieces of wood up to the men on the roof. Since the day he’d driven her to the hospital to see John, he hadn’t spoken more than a few words to her.
It’s probably best that he’s kept his distance, she thought with regret. Every time we’ve been close, I’ve found myself wanting more than either of us can give. She squeezed the carrot in her hand so hard she feared it might break, so she relaxed her grip. It’s best that Mom decided not to come with me today. Since she’s so afraid Jimmy might lead me astray, she’d probably have watched my every move.
Leona’s thoughts wandered back to a conversation she’d overheard a few weeks ago between her mamm and Arthur. She’d gone to the barn to feed her puppy and had spotted the two of them standing inside one of the horse’s stalls, speaking in hushed tones. . . .
“I tell you, son, that Englisher is getting too close to your sister,” Mom said. “I fear if something’s not done about it soon, Leona will get hurt. I think you should let Jimmy go.”
“You mean fire him?”
“Jah.”
“Aw, Mom, you can’t ask me to do that. Jimmy’s a good worker, and he has a lot of knowledge when it comes to painting. Besides, since Richard’s on vacation right now and a couple of the fellows are down with the flu, I need Jimmy more than ever.”
“What if he talks Leona into leaving the Amish faith?” Mom persisted. “Can’t you see what that would do to our family?”
“Leona’s strong in her beliefs. I’m sure she ain’t goin’ nowhere.”
“If she does up and leave, then you’ll be to blame.” Mom turned on her heel and rushed out of the barn. Arthur just stood there scratching his head.
“Leona, did you hear what I said?”
Leona whirled around as her thoughts returned to the present. “Huh?”
“I wanted you to know that we’ve got everything ready, so when you’re done with the vegetable platter, you can bring it outside to the serving table,” Nancy said.
“Okay.”
Nancy moved to Leona’s side. “Are you all right? You seem kind of distracted today.”
“I’m fine. Just caught up in my thoughts.” Leona grabbed a cucumber and started peeling it real fast.
“All right. See you outside in a few minutes,” Nancy said before hurrying away.
When Leona stepped out the back door a short time later, she found herself scanning the yard, searching for Jimmy. She knew it was wrong to pine for something she couldn’t have, but even though the voice in her head said no, her heart said something different.
She gripped the vegetable platter a little tighter. I have to do something to fight this attraction, and I need to do it soon before I lose my heart to him and do something that would hurt my family.
Forcing her thoughts to the job at hand, Leona joined the other women who were serving the men their noon meal. There was plenty of food donated by the women in their community. While the men ate, they engaged in conversation, and some even told a few jokes.
“Did you hear the one about the Englisher who wasn’t watching where he was going and ended up hitting the telephone pole?” Yost Zimmerman asked Matthew Fisher as he elbowed him in the ribs.
“Can’t say that I have.”
Leona smiled and picked up a pitcher of water. Moving down the line, she refilled each of the men’s glasses, and that’s when she noticed Jimmy sitting at a table to the left.
“Looks like things are going pretty well today,” Naomi said, stepping up to her. “The men have Mark’s barn nearly half done already.”
“It’s good the weather’s decided to cooperate.”
“And it’s nice to see so many of our English neighbors and friends here today.” Naomi nodded toward the table on their left. “Jimmy Scott’s a hard worker. I saw him hauling boards up to the roof earlier, and he seemed to be working every bit as hard as any of the Amish men.”
Leona’s only reply was a slow nod.
“It amazes me the way he seems to fit in with our people. He’s helped your daed in so many ways and has such a gentle spirit.” Naomi continued to stare at Jimmy. “In some ways, he reminds me of my brother Samuel.” She pointed to the table on their right. “See the way Samuel holds his head when he’s talking?”
Leona craned her neck to get a better look.
“Jimmy does it the same way. I’ll bet if he was dressed in Amish clothes and wore his hair like our men, he’d look like Amish. Don’t you think?”
Leona could only offer a shrug in response, for if she’d said what was on her heart, she would have told Naomi that she wished Jimmy was Amish and she wished God would give her some g
uarantees that Jimmy wouldn’t be taken from her the way Ezra had been.
“Guess I’ll see if the coffeepot needs refilling,” Naomi said as she moved away from the table.
Leona needed a few minutes alone, so she meandered around the side of the house and headed for the swing that hung from a huge maple tree. She seated herself and grasped the handles; then digging the toes of her sneakers into the ground, she pumped her legs to gain momentum. She’d only been swinging a few minutes when she spotted Jimmy coming around the house. He headed to the table where several washbasins had been set out and seemed to be looking at something in the palm of his right hand.
Leona cringed when she saw him reach into his pocket and pull out a small knife. She hopped off the swing and hurried over to him. “Are you having a problem?”
He held out his hand. “This is what I get for not wearing gloves today.”
She grimaced when she saw the ugly splinter embedded in the palm of his hand. “Let’s go inside, and I’ll see about getting a needle and some tweezers so I can take out the sliver.”
He shook his head. “That’s okay. I’m sure I can get it with the tip of my pocketknife.”
Just thinking about what could happen if the knife slipped and cut into Jimmy’s flesh caused Leona to flinch.
“It’ll be all right. I’ve done this before.”
“If you’re determined to use the knife, then at least let me help you.”
He smiled and placed his hand in hers. “You’re an angel of mercy.”
When Jimmy’s skin came in contact with Leona’s, she shivered.
“Are you cold?”
“I’m fine. Just a little nervous.”
“I have complete faith in your surgical abilities,” he said with a chuckle.
Leona held the knife as steady as her trembling fingers would allow, and it took her several tries before she was able to pry the tip of the splinter loose. When she saw blood oozing from his hand and heard Jimmy groan, her knees nearly buckled.
“Easy now. You’ve almost got it.”
She exhaled a sigh of relief as she pulled the knife aside and saw the splinter attached to the end. “It’s out.”
“Danki.” Jimmy leaned so close that she could feel his warm breath tickle her nose.
“You’re welcome.”
“What’s goin’ on here?”
Leona jumped back.
Jimmy did the same.
Abraham Fisher planted his hands on his hips and stared at them.
“I—I was taking a splinter out of Jimmy’s hand,” Leona stammered. She didn’t know why she felt so flustered. They’d done nothing wrong.
Abraham glared at Jimmy. “I think you and me need to have a little talk—in private.”
Leona didn’t understand why Abraham wanted to speak with Jimmy alone, but she decided it would be best if she left. She gave Jimmy what she hoped was a reassuring smile and hurried away.
Jimmy pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of his blue jeans and wrapped it around his throbbing hand. “What did you want to talk to me about, Abraham?”
The man grunted. “As if you don’t know.”
“If it’s about—”
“Lydia Weaver had a talk with me the other day,” Abraham said, cutting Jimmy off. “It seems that Leona informed her mamm that she’s in love with you.”
Jimmy’s mouth fell open. “She—she said that?”
Abraham gave a curt nod. “Lydia’s worried that her daughter might do something foolish, like run away with you, and then she’d be shunned.” He leveled Jimmy with a piercing gaze. “My daughter ran away from home once because she was influenced by a young English woman who didn’t give a hoot about anyone but herself. I won’t stand by now and watch the daughter of my good friend throw her life away on some English fellow who can’t keep his hands to himself.”
“Just a minute.” Jimmy’s voice raised a notch. “I’ve never touched Leona inappropriately. And you don’t have to worry about her running off with me or being shunned.”
Abraham opened his mouth as if to say more, but Jimmy sprinted off. “I’ll never find what I’m looking for here, and staying in Lancaster County so long was a big mistake!”
As Jim stepped onto the front porch of Holly’s small, brick home, his heart began to pound and his hands grew sweaty. Today was Saturday, and she’d taken the day off, leaving her two employees in charge of the health food store. Jim wasn’t working today, either, so he’d made plans for the two of them to tour the Museum of Glass as well as the Historical Museum in Tacoma. Holly had volunteered to fix Jim breakfast before they went, and even though he normally didn’t eat much in the morning, he had accepted her invitation, wanting to have some time alone with her before their date. He’d gotten to know her fairly well during the last few months as they had talked frequently on the phone, attended AA meetings, and had gone on several informal dates. She’d invited him to church a couple of times, but after his continued refusals, she had finally quit asking.
Jim knew that if he was going to move beyond friendship with Holly, he would need to open up and tell her the truth about Jimmy, which was what he planned to do this morning during breakfast. He had already lost two important people in his life, and he hoped his confession wouldn’t end his and Holly’s relationship, because he didn’t think he could endure another loss.
With a trembling hand, Jim drew in a deep breath and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, Holly greeted him with a cheery smile.
“Good morning, Jim. I hope you like blueberry pancakes and sausage links, because that’s what I’ve fixed for breakfast.”
The sight of her standing there in a pair of blue jeans and a pink T-shirt put a lump in his throat. He thought Holly was beautiful, no matter what she wore. Physically, she reminded him of Linda in that she had blond hair and blue eyes, but Holly’s personality was a lot different from that of his late wife’s. Holly was self-assured and outgoing; Linda had been introverted and afraid of many things. At least she had been in the earlier part of their marriage. After she started hanging around Beth Walters and attending church, she’d changed in many ways, although she’d never become as emotionally secure as Holly seemed to be.
Pulling his thoughts aside, Jim returned Holly’s smile and stepped into the house, hoping she couldn’t tell how nervous he was.
“Come out to the kitchen, and you can keep me company while I put breakfast on the table,” she said, motioning him to follow.
When they entered the cozy room a few minutes later, Jim took a seat at the table, and she poured him a cup of coffee.
“Thanks. My nerves are on edge this morning, and this might help.”
Holly chuckled. “I always thought coffee was supposed to make a person more jittery, not calm you down.”
“Guess you’re right about that.”
Holly brought a platter of sausage over to the table and placed it near Jim. “There’s no reason for you to be nervous. I’m not such a bad cook, and I promise you won’t die from food poisoning.”
“It’s not your cooking that has me worried.” He took a sip of coffee but set the cup down when he realized the drink was too hot.
Holly went back to the stove, and this time she returned with a stack of pancakes. When she set it on the table, she took a seat next to Jim. “Let’s get started eating, and then you can tell me what’s got you worried.”
“Yeah, okay,” he mumbled.
“It won’t embarrass you if I offer a prayer of thanks for our food, will it?”
He shook his head. He was used to Jimmy praying at the table, and Linda had done it, too, after she’d gotten religious.
Holly reached for Jim’s hand and bowed her head.
Jim did the same; only he kept his eyes open, staring at the floral design on the plate before him.
“Father in heaven,” Holly prayed, “thank You for this food and bless it to the nourishment of our bodies. Thank You for good friends and good company. Amen.”
“Are you okay?” Holly asked with obvious concern. “Did you burn your hand?”
He shook his head. “I’ll be fine. Just spilled some on the tablecloth.”
She leaned closer and took his hand. “You’re shaking, Jim. What’s wrong?”
He squeezed her fingers, hoping the strength he found there would give him the courage to say what was on his mind. “I—I need to tell you something. Something that’s been eating at me for twenty years.”
“What is it, Jim?”
He started by explaining how he and Linda couldn’t have children, and how several attempts to adopt had failed. Then he told her about the excitement they had felt when they’d made contact with a lawyer from Maryland and how they’d gone there to adopt a one-year-old boy.
“But the adoption never happened,” he said, shaking his head. “The birth mother changed her mind, and I left the lawyer’s office that day empty-handed and wondering how I was going to face Linda when I returned to our hotel and told her we had no baby to take home.”
“That must have been awful. How soon afterward did you get Jimmy?” The compassion in Holly’s eyes let Jim know he had her sympathy, and it gave him the courage to go on.
“A few hours,” he replied.
“Huh?” Her eyebrows lifted. “How could your lawyer set up another adoption in such a short time?”
“He didn’t.”
“Then how—”
Jim quickly related the story of how he’d gone to an Amish farm for some root beer and ended up leaving with a child.
Holly’s mouth dropped open. “You—you kidnapped a baby?”
He nodded slowly.
“Does—does Jimmy know about this?”
“Yeah. He found out when he went to Bel Air, Maryland, thinking he could get some information about his birth mother. After talking to the lawyer, it came out that there had been no adoption.” Jim paused and swiped the napkin he’d used for the spilled coffee across his sweaty forehead. “When Jimmy confronted me about the failed adoption, I felt I had no choice but to tell him about the kidnapping.” He groaned. “At first he didn’t believe me, but he did go to Pennsylvania in search of his real family. Now he’s not speaking to me.”
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