The Bishop's Daughter

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  “All the what-ifs won’t change things between me and Leona.” Jimmy leaned forward. “But there is one thing that can change, Dad.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Our relationship can change—and you can change if you want to.”

  “I tried that already.” The taste of bile rose in Jim’s throat. “I went to those stupid AA meetings, opened my heart to Holly, and look where it got me!” He squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to stop the pain. “She hates me now, Jimmy.”

  “I know Holly pretty well, Dad, and I doubt she’s capable of hating you or anyone.”

  “You should have seen the look on her face when I told her I had kidnapped you. She said I wasn’t the man she’d thought I was and that I couldn’t be trusted. She was right, too, because I can’t even trust myself.” He grimaced. “I was so sure I could stay sober, but I’m weak and need a drink whenever things go sour.”

  “What you need is the Lord, Dad.”

  Jim waved his hand as though he were batting at a fly. “Don’t give me any sermons.”

  Jimmy left his chair and knelt on the floor in front of the couch, then reached out and took Jim’s hand. “The morning before I left Pennsylvania, I was going to call you and apologize for not returning any of your calls, and for speaking to you in such an unkind way after I finally realized you had kidnapped me.”

  “So why didn’t you call me? Did you think it over, realize what a good-for-nothing I was, and then change your mind?”

  Jimmy shook his head. “You’re not a good-for-nothing, Dad. The reason I didn’t call was because I got busy helping with a barn raising. And then, when I realized I needed to come home, I decided to surprise you by just showing up. Figured it would be better to apologize in person rather than on the phone.” He paused. “And I wanted to let you know that I forgive you for what you did.”

  “I–I’m the one who needs to apologize,” Jim blubbered. “And I don’t deserve your forgiveness, either.”

  Jimmy looked like he was about to say something more, but the doorbell rang, interrupting their conversation. “Are you expecting company?”

  Jim shook his head. “Didn’t even expect you.”

  “I’ll see who it is.”

  When Jimmy left the room, Jim sat up and reached for his coffee cup. He took a drink and was getting ready to swallow when Holly stepped into the room. He choked, sputtered, and spit the lukewarm coffee all over the front of his rumpled shirt. Holly was the last person he had expected to see today, and he didn’t relish the idea of her seeing him like this.

  Leona had no more than taken a seat on the porch swing when Ginger jumped up, wagging her tail and whimpering as if she were starved for attention.

  “You little daagdieb,” she said, allowing the dog to flop across her knees. “That’s right. You’re nothing but a scamp. You’re getting too big for this, you know that?”

  Ginger responded with a grunt; then she wet Leona’s hand with her sloppy tongue.

  Leona sat there, petting the dog’s head and listening to a chorus of birds from a nearby tree until she heard a horse and buggy plod up the driveway. She turned her attention to the yard.

  Mary Ann waved from her open buggy, and as soon as she had it stopped near the barn and had hitched the horse to the rail, she headed for the house. “I was hoping I’d find you here,” she said, stepping onto the porch.

  Leona nodded. “I got home from school awhile ago and decided to sit out here before I help Mom with supper.”

  Mary Ann took a seat in the wicker chair near the swing. “Looks like you’re in good company.”

  “I barely sat down, and she was up in my lap. Silly critter thinks she’s still a little pup.”

  “She reminds me of Cinnamon,” Mary Ann said, reaching over to stroke the dog behind one ear. “It was nice of Jimmy to give Ginger to you.”

  “Jah, but I still miss Cinnamon.” Tears welled up in Leona’s eyes and threatened to spill over. As much as she missed Cinnamon, she missed Jimmy even more.

  “It’s never easy to lose someone you love,” Mary Ann said. “But God is always there to help us through the pain, and He often gives us someone to replace the one we’ve lost.” Her lips formed a little smile. “For whatever reason, God chose not to return our missing brother to us, but He gave Papa and Fannie twin boys. I know that even though Titus and Timothy haven’t taken Zach’s place in Papa’s heart he’s found comfort and joy in being able to raise them.”

  Leona thought about her own situation and wondered whom God had brought into her life to replace the ones she had lost. Cinnamon had been replaced with Ginger, and Jimmy had come along to make her laugh and enjoy some things after Papa had been taken from her because of his memory loss. She guessed God might have had His hand in all of that. But what about Ezra? Who had taken his place in her heart? Jimmy did, a voice in her head taunted. But you can’t have him because he’s English.

  “So what’s the reason for your visit?” Leona asked her friend, needing to change the subject.

  “I was on my way home from the quilt shop and decided to stop by and tell you thanks.”

  Leona tipped her head in question. “For what?”

  “For paving the way for me and Abner.”

  “Oh, that. How are things going now that the two of you have begun courting?”

  “Good. Real good.” Mary Ann’s face fairly glowed. “I’m thinkin’ me and Fannie might need to plant a whole bunch of celery this year.”

  Leona’s eyebrows lifted. “Has Abner asked you to marry him?” She couldn’t imagine that the shy young fellow would move so quickly.

  “Not yet, but I think it’s only a matter of time. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if we aren’t one of the couples gettin’ married this fall.”

  Leona clasped her friend’s hand. “I’m glad things are working out for you.” Sure wish something would work out for me.

  “Wh–what are you doing here?” Jim sputtered as Holly took a seat on the couch beside him.

  “I came to see you.”

  “I—I look a mess, and I’m sure I don’t smell any better than I look,” he said leaning away from her. “Besides, I’ve committed a terrible sin—I’m a kidnapper who deserves to be punished.”

  “ ‘If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her,’ ” Holly said, reaching over to wipe the dribble of coffee from his chin.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It’s from the book of John, Dad.” Jimmy plunked into the rocker across from them. “Jesus was admonishing the Pharisees who wanted to stone an adulterous woman. He reminded those men that they weren’t without sin, and if any of them thought they were, then they should be the first to stone the woman.”

  “Guess that never happened,” Jim said, “because no man or woman who’s ever been born has been perfect or without sin.” He groaned. “Of course, some of us have committed a lot more sins than others.”

  “No one except Christ is perfect,” Holly corrected.

  “Right.”

  “Last night as I was reading my Bible, I came across John 8:7, and it caught me up short, reminding me that I had done many despicable things while I was struggling with my alcoholic addiction. It wasn’t right for me to judge you, Jim.” Holly placed her hand on his arm. “I hope you will accept my apology.”

  “Your apology?” Jim’s nose burned, and his eyes stung as he struggled not to break down. “It’s me who needs forgiving. I’ve always liked to be in control, and when I found out I couldn’t father a child, I was so determined to give Linda a baby that I did something no decent man would even consider.” He paused and looked over at Jimmy. “After I stole you from your real family, keeping you and hiding my secret became an obsession. With every lie I told, I fell deeper into my own self-made pit of misery. After a while, I’d told so many lies that I even began to believe them.”

  “That’s how sin entraps us, Jim,” Holly said quietly. “Each sinful
thing we do, then try to cover up is compounded by the next sin and the next.”

  “Kind of like trying to cover up poor siding on a house by putting on multiple coats of paint without scraping and priming,” he said. “Immediately, the paint job will start deteriorating because it wasn’t prepped properly.”

  “Good illustration,” Jimmy chimed in.

  Jim drew in a deep breath and expelled it quickly. “Any idea what this sin-sick man can do to free himself from the burden of sin and shame?”

  “Yes!” Holly and Jimmy said in unison.

  “I kind of figured you might.”

  Jimmy hurried across the room and pulled Linda’s Bible off the bookshelf. “I’d like to read you something, Dad.”

  Holly slid over, and Jimmy took her place beside Jim. He opened the Bible, turned several pages, and pointed to a verse highlighted in yellow. “In Luke 5:31 and 32, Jesus said, “ ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” He turned several pages. “And 1 John 1:9 says, “ ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.’ ”

  “All you need to do is call on God, Jim,” Holly said. “Acknowledge that you’re a sinner, ask His forgiveness, and accept Christ as your personal Savior.”

  “It’s that simple?”

  She nodded, and so did Jimmy.

  “I—I don’t how to pray—don’t know the right words,” Jim mumbled.

  “There are no ‘right’ words.” Jimmy reached for his dad’s hand. “Just close your eyes and talk to God. Tell him what’s on your heart and confess your sins.”

  With a catch in his throat and tears blinding his vision, Jim released his burdens to God. By the end of his prayer, he knew with a certainty that he had found forgiveness for his sins through Jesus Christ.

  Jimmy yawned and stretched his arms over his head as he entered the kitchen the following morning. It was still dark outside, and it didn’t feel right to be getting up so early to go to work. But he had agreed to act as his dad’s foreman—at least until they could find someone to replace Ed. And since they had a paint job to do in Olympia, it meant they needed to get an early start. Jimmy had decided to make breakfast while his dad loaded their van with some supplies he kept in the garage.

  He flicked on the light switch near the kitchen door and ambled across the room to turn on the coffeemaker. “Sure didn’t have this little convenience in the trailer house I rented from the Rabers,” he mumbled. “But then, I didn’t miss having an electric coffeemaker so much, either.”

  During Jimmy’s stay in Lancaster County, he’d become used to doing without a lot of modern conveniences. Living behind the Rabers’ place had provided him with an opportunity to get better acquainted with Eli and his folks as well as learn many of the Amish ways.

  While the coffee brewed, Jimmy went to the refrigerator and took out a carton of eggs. He removed six and cracked them into a bowl with the idea of making scrambled eggs. “These yolks are sure pale,” he mumbled. “Nothing like the fresh ones Esther Raber used to fix for my breakfast.”

  The milk Jimmy added to the eggs was also store-bought, and he knew it wouldn’t be nearly as good as the fresh goat’s milk he’d become accustomed to drinking. With the exception of his camera, there weren’t too many modern conveniences he couldn’t do without. In fact, he hadn’t even missed watching TV while he was away, and he wondered if he would even care to watch it now. Until he’d left Amish country, Jimmy hadn’t realized how much he would miss the slowerpaced, simple life.

  “I told you not to bother with breakfast,” Dad said as he entered the kitchen. “My stomach’s not up for more than a cup of coffee and a donut this early in the morning.”

  Jimmy placed the frying pan on the stove and turned on the back burner. “You never have taken time to eat a healthy breakfast, Dad.”

  “Guess that’s true.”

  “I figured after you and Holly started dating she might convert you into a health nut.”

  Dad removed two mugs from the cupboard and set them next to the coffeepot. “Holly has helped in many ways—getting me to go to AA meetings, listening to me gripe about complaining customers, and putting up with my sometimes gloomy moods.” He grunted. “But I doubt she’ll ever succeed in getting me to give up coffee and donuts.”

  Jimmy chuckled. “She has been good for you, and I’m glad she came by yesterday and had a part in leading you to the Lord.”

  “Yeah, me, too.” Dad poured two cups of coffee, hauled them over to the table, and took a seat. “I think the two of you saved my life yesterday.”

  Jimmy dumped the egg mixture into the pan and stirred it with a spatula. “Actually, it was God who saved your life, by sending His Son to die for your sins.”

  “I know, and I feel as if that five-gallon bucket of paint I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for many years is finally gone.”

  “Oftentimes, when someone confesses their sins and accepts God’s gift of eternal life, they feel that way—like they’re free from the burden that had been pulling them down.” Jimmy scooped the eggs onto two plates and joined his dad at the table. “Now that you’ve found forgiveness, in order to grow as a Christian, you’ll need to get into God’s Word and spend time in prayer. That will help you stay closer to Him.”

  Dad nodded. “I know that, too. I’m planning to go to church with you and Holly this coming Sunday.”

  “That’s good news.” Jimmy glanced at his dad. “Would you like me to ask the blessing?”

  “I think I’d like to try my hand at that if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all.” Jimmy closed his eyes, and his dad did the same.

  “Dear God,” Dad began in a hesitant voice. “I just want to say thanks for forgiving my sins—and for bringing my son home.” There was a brief pause. “Oh, and thanks for this food I’m being forced to eat. Amen.”

  Jimmy chuckled and reached for the bottle of juice sitting in the middle of the table. “I’m glad things are back on track with you and Holly.”

  “Me, too,” Dad said around a mouthful of egg.

  “Are you getting serious about her?”

  “Yeah—uh—well, sort of. Holly’s a wonderful woman, but I’m not sure we could ever have a future together.”

  “Why not?”

  Dad’s eyebrows drew together. “As I’m sure you know, your mother and I had a lot of problems during our marriage.”

  Jimmy nodded. He remembered hearing his folks disagree about many things during his childhood. He had found Mom in tears more times than he cared to admit.

  “Most of our problems were my fault because I frequently lost my temper and didn’t treat your mother with the respect and love she deserved.” Dad moaned. “I’m afraid if I were to get married again, I’d mess things up.”

  Jimmy touched his dad’s arm. “Of course you would have your share of problems, but you’re a Christian now; with the Lord as your guide, you will not only be able to deal better with your dependence on alcohol, but I think that marrying Holly, or any Christian woman, would be different for you this time around.”

  His dad stared at him a few seconds, and then his lips curved into a smile. “How’d you get to be so wise for one so young?”

  “I’m not sure how wise I am, but I did learn a lot about love and marriage from Eli’s folks. I’ve never met a more devoted couple than Philip and Esther Raber.”

  “You miss those people, don’t you? I can see the look of longing on your face.”

  Jimmy nodded. He missed everyone he’d come to care about in Lancaster County—Leona Weaver, most of all.

  “Do you miss the Amish way of life, too?”

  “Yeah, I guess I do. Somewhere along the line, I learned to appreciate the simpler things. In fact, I was reading my Bible before I went to bed last night, and I came across a verse of scripture that made me stop and think.”

  “What’d
it say?”

  “It was from the book of Psalms, chapter 27, verse 11. ‘Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path.’ ”

  Dad stared at him with a wrinkled forehead. “Do you think you belong here?”

  “I–I’m not sure where I belong anymore.”

  “As much as I would hate to lose you, I want you to be happy, Jimmy.”

  “I want you to be happy, too.” Jimmy’s throat clogged with unshed tears. Feeling the need to change the subject, he said, “We’d better eat so we can get on the road, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah,” his dad said with a nod. “This is the first day of my new life, and I want to start it off on the right foot.”

  You seem kind of distracted today. Is everything all right?” Holly asked Jim as they walked hand in hand along Owen Beach.

  “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately,” he admitted.

  “Have you scheduled too many paint jobs?”

  “Not really. Since we’ve had so much rain this spring, we haven’t been able to do many outside jobs, but I’m sure the weather will cooperate soon.”

  As they continued down the rocky beach, Jim prayed for God’s direction and the courage to say what was on his mind. Finally, he halted and dropped to one knee.

  Holly squinted at the stones in front of him. “What’s down there? Did you find another agate?”

  Jim shook his head and stared up at her. His mouth felt dry, and he could barely breathe. He couldn’t remember being this nervous since he was a teenager preparing to ask one of the high school cheerleaders for a date. “I’m—uh—in love with you, Holly, and I’m hoping that we can—Well—uh—when the time is right, would you consider marrying me?”

  Nothing. No response. Holly just stood there with her lips pursed and her forehead wrinkled.

  “If you don’t say something soon, my knee’s going to give out.”

  Holly’s face relaxed, and she placed both hands against his cheeks. “I think we both need more time to get to know each other and allow our relationship to mature.” She smiled. “But, yes, when the time is right, I will consider becoming your wife.”