by Kit Tunstall
There I went, thinking about sex again. I couldn’t seem to keep my mind off of it.
They stopped the Humvee in the middle of another concrete room, which held more equipment. There were some helicopters and even a couple of planes in this area, and I assumed the platform could take them up if needed. I didn’t know if anyone here flew, and I figured they might want to avoid advertising their presence by taking out the planes. Sealed in down here, I couldn’t imagine a group would be able to get in from the outside, but they probably didn’t want to take any chances. It’s what I would have done in their situation—and I was in their situation now.
I was with them. I hadn’t been fully integrated into the group or accepted as one of them yet, but I’d already started to rely on these men as my companions, and I’d admit with a bit of weakness, my protectors. At least until I learned enough to protect myself.
I helped them unload the items from the Hummer, including the stuff I had scavenged from the store. We stacked our finds neatly against the cement wall, and Jamar seemed to have a system for sorting them.
This group had definitely had better luck, so maybe they’d had more experience. Mentally inventorying the things I saw, I was pleased they’d managed to procure a stash of drugs, including pain pills and antibiotics. I noted there were several cases of birth control pills. That might come in handy…for some reason.
After we unloaded, I was feeling hot and sweaty, and my arms ached from the unaccustomed exertion. The captain seemed to realize my predicament, because he put a hand on my shoulder. “Would you like a shower?”
My eyes gleamed. “You mean a shower? A real freaking shower, with water pouring out the showerhead and everything? Not a pan bath?”
He laughed. “Not a pan bath. The base is equipped with solar collectors to fuel the backup generators, so there’s even hot water. There’s also a system of boilers and cisterns we’re looking into implementing if we decide to stay here. It’s a secure location, but not exactly ideal for growing food.”
I let the survival talk flow over me for a minute as I fixated on the idea of a shower. I hadn’t had a real one since the water had gone off about a month after my parents had died. We’d lost the power almost three months ago, and the gas had gone shortly after. They’d outlasted the water by several weeks, but hadn’t done me any good for bathing, since the water didn’t work. The idea of a hot shower was blissful.
I followed the captain down the hallway, my new possessions in my arms. He’d scooped up the other clothes I couldn’t hold, along with my shoes, leading the way. First, we stopped in a bunk room, and he led me to one of the thin cots. “I’m afraid this will have to do. We might be able to rig up a private room in one of the offices and move a bunk in there, but this is all we have for tonight. You’ll have to share with us.”
The idea sent a delicious shiver down my spine, and I just nodded. I couldn’t verbalize anything, because that might show exactly how much I liked the idea of sharing everything with these men.
I should have been slut-shaming myself for my reaction, but as I followed him into the shower room, I couldn’t give a fuck about not conforming to the norm. In this new world, there was no one to care if I slept with all five of them at the same time. If someone made a judgment, they had the opportunity to go fuck themselves. They should be focusing on survival, not whose cock went in my pussy.
That was a blunt thought for me, since I rarely even said the word cock, and I’d never verbalized the “p” word before. It always made me blush when my girlfriends said it, or if I accidentally read it in a book—one of those naughty books my mom didn’t know I was downloading. I knew all sorts of things from them, but none of it was practical experience, and I wasn’t in the habit of slinging around crude words for my genitalia, let alone joining them with others’ genitalia.
Trying to distract myself, I took the towel Shane held out for me. He had walked me into the shower room, and it hovered on the tip of my tongue to invite him to join me. Instead, I just stared at him quietly.
He shifted on his feet and cleared his throat. “Better show you the shower mechanism. It’s complete military issue, so it can be kind of buggy.” He pulled on the lever, cranking it one way and then the other a little bit, as though priming it before pushing it back in and spinning it.
A moment later, hot water flowed from the showerhead, and I put my hand in the stream, mesmerized. I turned to thank him as he brushed past me, moving out of the way of the faucet, and somehow I ended up plastered against his chest. Maybe it was an accident, or maybe it was a deliberate move on my part, prompted by my subconscious. I’m not sure which, but I liked to pretend I slipped in the shower and landed in his arms.
PART TWO: HOTSHOT
Chapter One
His arms wrapped around me, ensuring I was steady before he started to pull away. Acting on instinct, I draped my arms around him, hugging the man closer to me. It felt so good to have arms around me, but I was convinced not just any pair of arms would do. After all, I hadn’t reacted well to the surprise human contact from the piece of shit who’d tried to rape me. Just something about this man—all these men—drew me to them. I didn’t think it was only loneliness prompting my actions when I lifted my head, stretching on my tiptoes to brush my lips against his.
Shane stiffened, and though he moaned as my tongue brushed his lips, he eased back carefully.
I looked down, embarrassed by my actions and his rejection. “I’m sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have done that.”
He shook his head. “The world’s changed, but there are still some rules I intend to follow. You’re jailbait, honey.”
I frowned up at him. “How old do you think I am?”
He shrugged. “Fifteen? Maybe sixteen?”
I started to get huffy, but then I admitted to myself it was a fair assessment. I didn’t really look that young so much as I was short, and he probably didn’t spend a lot of time with women in my age group. “I’m eighteen, and I’ll be nineteen in seven or eight days. I’m not sure which. I hadn’t started marking the calendar until after Becky died, so I just took my best guess at the number of days that had passed.”
He looked skeptical. “Do you have identification?”
I think he meant it as a smartass retort, but in fact I did have identification. I marched over to my backpack that I had dropped on the floor when we entered the shower room and fumbled through it for my wallet. I’d stowed it in there without much thought when I’d gone foraging, and I was glad to have it now as I stood up and walked over to him, extending my driver’s license, followed by my college ID card. I’d gotten the card a few weeks before I’d been due to start spring term, having graduated a semester early because I was intelligent and liked school. I never got to go, but the card could only support my case. “See? I’m almost nineteen.”
He handed the identification back to me, and I tossed it carelessly toward my bag. What did it matter any longer? Except under circumstances like these, I was unlikely to need to show my ID to anyone anywhere anymore.
I crossed my arms over my chest as I stared at him. “Well?”
I could see he was tempted, and he nibbled on his lower lip before shaking his head. “How old do you think I am, honey?”
“Thirty-five?” I ventured a guess.
He seemed impressed. “Thirty-six, but close enough. You see the age difference there? Doesn’t that bother you?”
I was surprised by my own temerity as I started stripping off my T-shirt, breaking eye contact with him only long enough to pull it over my head. “Not really. What bothers me is having been without any sort of human contact for months, and what’s really bothering me is how much I want to fuck you. My pussy is wet. Wanna feel for yourself, Shane?” As I asked the question, his eyes dilated, and I shimmied out of my jeans.
He didn’t move away when I stepped closer, taking his hand and moving it between my thighs, now completely bared to his perusal since I’d removed my jeans, panti
es, socks, and shoes. He let out a small hissing moan when I took one of his fingers and plowed it between my curls, showing him all the damp flesh awaiting him. I don’t know where my boldness came from, but I was determined not to let him escape until he’d been inside me.
What else was there to live for besides pleasure at this point? I had lost everyone I’d ever loved or cared about, and though I didn’t want to go through losing more people, I also didn’t want to be alone. It wasn’t like I was offering my pussy up as some great sacrifice in a desperate bid to keep the man near me. I just wanted him, and I knew he wanted me. In this new world, there was absolutely no reason why we couldn’t have each other. “Is that wet enough for you?”
His chest rumbled, brushing against my nipples pressing through the bra I still wore when he growled a low, “No.” His finger surged inside me, mine no longer leading him as he began to stroke me in earnest, rubbing the sweet spot below my clit. “I want you soaking wet, your juices flowing in my mouth as you sit on my face while I lick you. Do you want that, Alyssa, or do you want to change your mind? This is your last chance. Tell me to leave, and I will. Tell me to do the right thing, because I’m not strong enough to do it on my own.”
I was almost too busy riding his hand to manage to speak, but I knew I had to say something, or he’d leave me. “This is the right thing.” I put my hands on his cheeks and stretched upright again as his head lowered, our lips meeting in a passionate kiss while his fingers continued delving inside me, exploring my slick folds.
With his other hand, he unhooked the new bra, seemingly without effort, and pushed it up over my breasts. One of his hands cupped a soft globe, his fingers tugging lightly on my nipple. I pressed harder against his hands, both the one in my pussy and the one against my breasts as I moaned, wanting to feel everything.
He pulled away from me abruptly, and I stared at him with hurt eyes, certain he had talked himself out of what we both wanted. Instead, he was just slipping off his T-shirt and camo pants, though the dog tags remained. It didn’t seem to take him long to be as naked as me, and I took advantage of the fact there was a break to throw my bra carelessly in the direction of my clothes.
Some of my bravery had faded in the face of his sexual hunger, visible by the intense look in his eyes. I was a little daunted by the size of his dick too, swelling and pointing in my direction with obvious want. I still wanted him, but I was a little afraid of what I was getting.
There was no chance for second-guessing myself, because he picked me up in his arms and turned to the shower. A moment later, warm water rained down on us, and I cuddled closer. It felt good to be under the water, and it felt even better when his finger returned to stroking my clit, bringing me to the edge again and flooding his hand with my juices when I suddenly came with a small cry. I tried to stifle the sound of pleasure, not wanting the others to know what we were doing in here if they hadn’t already figured it out, but then I decided I didn’t give a fuck if they knew either. Since I would have taken any of them who wanted to enter the shower, it would have been hypocritical to be concerned if they knew I was fucking their leader.
He pressed my back against the wall, parting my thighs as my sheath continued to convulse with my release. I was moaning and I think crying out his name, punctuated by gasps of pleasure, but I wasn’t entirely certain. I could have been babbling like a moron, so lost was I in my pleasure.
The head of his cock pressed against me, nudging open my pussy and clearing the way for the rest of the shaft. He started to sink into me, and I tensed in reaction, expecting brief agony. Instead, it was barely a discomfort as he pushed inside me the rest of the way. I must’ve been exceedingly wet, because he encountered little resistance, and there wasn’t much pain at all.
He froze, his eyes widening with comprehension as he stared down at me. From my vantage point pressed against the wall, his hands cupping my ass to keep me against him, he didn’t have to stare far. “Are you a fucking virgin?”
I shrugged. “What does it matter? None of that stuff matters now, does it?”
He hesitated for a moment, looking torn.
I knew I had to reconnect with him, and quickly, if I wanted this to last. I put my hand on his cheek, coaxing his gaze to meet mine. “I was a virgin, but I’m not now. Even if you pull out right this minute and don’t finish, leaving us both frustrated, I’m still not going to be a virgin any longer. So follow through and finish what you started, soldier.”
His eyes widened with surprise, and he began to thrust in and out of me, moving slowly at first until he was certain I wasn’t feeling any discomfort. It was obvious in the tender way he moved and held me that he was making my pleasure top priority.
I pushed forward with my hips, meeting him every time he thrust deeper into me. On one level, I couldn’t believe I had gone from a virgin to craving cock so quickly, but the world had changed. It no longer mattered who we paired up with, as long as there were moments of happiness to steal. We had survived the Hell Virus, but for what if we weren’t going to live? I meant truly live, and that included enjoying the pleasures available in caring for the people we were with, though it gave us something to lose.
Shane pressed harder into me, sending me over the edge as his cock started to twitch inside me, and he came, loosening his release in several rapid spurts that hit against my cervix and enhanced my orgasm as I came again. I’d expected my first time having sex to be kind of pathetic and dreadful, judging from my girlfriends’ experiences, but this was anything except that.
I clung to Shane as the orgasms faded and aftermath settled over us. He was leaning heavily against the wall, still supporting me, and I leaned forward to place my lips against his neck, nibbling slightly before placing a kiss there. Just like when the Hell Virus had popped up, and when the second wave had hit, things had changed once again. This time, I was optimistic it was a positive change, though we still had to survive in this post-apocalyptic hellhole.
I wasn’t sure what to expect after our time in the shower, whether Shane would treat me with affection and make it obvious we’d fucked, or if he would ignore me, or keep it somewhere in between. It was in-between, as I discovered when I sat down to join my new comrades for dinner, which happened to be MREs. He sat beside me, and occasionally his hand would migrate under the table and onto my thigh, rubbing gently, but that was the only indication we’d shared anything in the shower—aside from the fact we both had wet hair.
I looked up and caught Wesley’s gaze, his knowing smirk sending a pang through my stomach. I wasn’t embarrassed, or even upset, that he had figured it out. Well, maybe a little embarrassed. I hadn’t done anything wrong with the captain, but lingering beliefs instilled in me for eighteen years would take longer than one day and some passionate sex to completely fade away.
There was a part of me that was supposed to feel ashamed for my sexuality, and for indulging in meaningless sex, and that was the part that squirmed under his gaze, though the new post-apocalyptic Alyssa really didn’t care who knew. That side of me would have stripped off my clothes and taken Shane again right there. Or any of the others.
Feeling a bit like a sex-starved pervert, I looked away from Wesley and turned my attention to Han, who sat across from me and to the left. I realized he was talking about a run, and I frowned when it penetrated he was speaking about going out again tomorrow. “Why do you need to do that? You got a lot of stuff today.”
“We need to scavenge as many supplies as we can, Alyssa. We’re in a race against all the other survivors around the area, so we have to go out every day.”
I shuddered at the thought of going out again already, but nodded. “I’ll do whatever you tell me.”
His eyes darkened, and his pupils dilated. I hadn’t intended it to come out any other way than as agreeable, but apparently there had been huskiness in my tone, or maybe he was just letting his imagination run free. Whatever it was, I was certain he was suddenly thinking about sex. Sex with me, and in wh
atever form he liked. I had a starring role in his mini-fantasy, and that Alyssa was doing whatever he said. I knew that’s what he was thinking on an instinctive level, but I wasn’t at all offended. I wasn’t sure about the submitting part, but the idea of being at Han’s command made my newest pair of underwear damp, and my nipples hardened against the cotton tank top, sans bra.
“You’re not going,” said Shane with an air of finality.
I turned to look at him with a frown. “You told me I had to be part of the team.”
He nodded. “You do, but I need you to be a fully functioning part of the team. Until you know how to handle yourself, I don’t want you going out on runs. In fact, Jamar, I’d like you to stay behind tomorrow and start training Alyssa. Go with the guns first, and then we’ll have Han run her through hand-to-hand combat a bit later.” He looked me over in an assessing way, though he’d already seen my body in the shower. “You’re going to need to get in better shape too.”
I flinched. I wasn’t super skinny, but I didn’t think I was excessively overweight either. I had definitely lost at least ten pounds in the last few months from stress and relying on the rations in the subbasement. I felt self-conscious and crossed my arms over my chest.
His expression gentled, and he put a hand on my shoulder, his fingers lightly brushing the back of my neck. “That wasn’t a criticism of your body in any fashion. You just need to be able to run and have the stamina to protect yourself. Martial arts and hand-to-hand combat takes a lot out of you, and there’s nothing wrong with not being ready to jump into those things. You’re going to have to prepare yourself. That’s all I meant.”
I nodded, feeling better as his words washed over me. I felt kind of silly to have overreacted, since I’d always been relatively secure with my body. I knew he was right though. Mrs. Fleming would have agreed with him in a heartbeat. Dammit. All the things I had never enjoyed, like lifting weights and running, were now an essential part of surviving this new world.