Before We Fall

by Courtney Cole

  “Jacey, you try and see the good in everyone. That’s your mistake. You think that if you look hard enough, you’ll find it, that everyone has something in them that deserves you. But that’s so fucking wrong. Very few people deserve you. And that includes me.”

  My heart clenches at his words, at the way he’s trying to validate me, to compliment even my very worst trait. My heart breaks, because I know that not only does Dominic not think he deserves me, he also thinks that he doesn’t deserve anyone.

  “We’re so fucked up,” I manage to whisper. Dominic nods solemnly.

  “Me more than you.”

  I don’t say anything.

  Dominic stares at me with those fucking dark eyes, and finally he speaks again.

  “After tonight, I don’t want you to come around me, Jacey. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I have already. Tonight is all we have left.”

  I nod curtly, his meaning stark.

  He smiles a glittering, hard smile.

  “So we’ll have to make it count. Know this right now. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to. You know me. If you say no, it’s over. Got it?”

  I nod. But Dominic shakes his head.

  “You understand. Yes or no?”

  “Yes,” I murmur.

  “If you say no, you can walk out at any time and I promise you that Sin won’t contact Saffron and you won’t suffer any consequences with your boss. Tonight will be… a good-bye. A good-bye worthy of you and me. Yes or no?”

  I’m a fucking masochist, because I see the gleam in Dom’s eyes… the dark, dark gleam that can only mean dark, dark things… and I welcome it. I want it. I want him… even if it’s only for tonight.

  I love him. The knowledge is so, so painful.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  Dominic smiles. “Good. You wanted to know about me the other night. You wanted me to share with you, to explain why I am the way I am. You wanted to know if Amy Ashby was right, if I’m perverted. I want to answer that for you now. I could tell you in words all day long, but it wouldn’t even make sense to you until you see exactly who I am. Until you see exactly the kind of things I like. So tonight, I want you to see it. Can we do that?”

  I stare at him in confusion. “See it?”

  “My brother has a wild life,” Dom explains. “You’ve seen it. And I’m sure you’ve noticed that at every party, there is always a private, secret party going on in the basement. A party that most aren’t invited to. I’m inviting you tonight. Do you want to come with me?”

  My heart pounds, both in apprehension and in excitement. I have noticed the secret party in the basement. Of course I have. It was always part of the confidentiality agreement that I had to sign in order to work at Sin’s house.

  Never go into the basement.

  But that changes tonight. And with that, I just might get a glimpse of who Dominic really is.

  Answers.

  Finally.

  “Well?” Dominic prompts, staring at me.

  “Okay,” I start to say. But at his look, I amend that. “Yes.”

  He smiles.

  “Come with me.”

  He holds out his arm and I take it. As I touch him, he looks down at me and for a moment, my heart flutters. Everything about him pulls me in. His smell, his touch, his stare. His excruciatingly sexy personality. I must definitely be a masochist, because I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that tonight will annihilate me.

  Yet I follow him willingly into the house.

  Into hell.

  Or Eden.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Jacey

  Dominic leads me down a back hallway into the exquisitely lavish basement of the house, then through two more hallways until we stop in front of a set of heavy wooden doors. He turns and looks at me.

  “You want to do this. Yes or no?”

  I’m not sure. I can hear music thumping on the other side, but I can also hear moaning. Sex sounds. Thumping. Lashing? Moaning. More Moaning. Screaming. Shrieking. Moaning.

  I look at Dominic and my heart is in my throat.

  “Yes.”

  He smiles, then opens the doors.

  The room before me is a myriad of panting and fucking bodies.

  The first thing I focus on are the women in cages.

  On all four corners in a huge dimly light room, there are round cages with bars. There’s a woman in each cage, each wearing a collar. Their collars are attached to the chains in the cages. They’re naked but for strange leather straps that crisscross around their breasts, then crisscross again above and below their hips. I’m confused for a second, until a man opens the cage door of the girl closest to me and steps inside.

  It’s only then that I see that the leather straps are attached to the roof of the cage. The girl can suspend herself in the air by pulling on the straps. And when she does, they tighten around her breasts and her crotch, so much so that her flesh turns white.

  But she seems to like it. She moans as the man dips his head and sucks on her nipples, suckling at the taut flesh. My gaze flies to Dominic, and he’s staring at me, his expression intense.

  “They like it,” he assures me. “Trust me, they’re here on their own free will. They like to be tied up, whipped, sucked. They enjoy the pain and I enjoy watching it.”

  My heart pounds and warmth spreads to my crotch, moistening my panties. I can’t believe it, but watching it turns me on. All of it. The smells, the sounds, the idea that all of this shit should be happening in the privacy of bedrooms, but instead it’s out here in the open for other consenting adults to watch. It makes my heart pound.

  I stand in the doorway and scan the room.

  It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.

  The walls are covered in stone tile and there are round columns here and there, and fountains. It reminds me of ancient Greece. The ceiling is painted like the night sky, with swirling clouds and brilliant stars, and above us, in a circle on a ledge around the ceiling, statues of the Greek gods stare down at us in approval. Of course they approve. They were all fucked-up freaks too.

  There are huge round silk ottomans everywhere, big enough for groups of people to sit on. And groups of people do sit on them, all of them involved in orgies.

  This is an orgy of epic proportions.

  The realization slams into me, and I feel my knees grow weak because I’m even here.

  Everywhere around me, people are fucking, sucking, licking, whipping… I can’t wrap my mind around it. I didn’t know that things like this even existed.

  “Is this even legal?” I ask Dominic stupidly. He leads me into the room and closes the doors behind us, then shrugs.

  “I don’t know. Everyone is here on their own free will. And this is secret. It isn’t spoken of beyond these walls.”

  I nod. I definitely won’t be admitting that I was here. Jesus. My brother would fucking kill me.

  I take a deep breath, inhaling the sex-laden air, and turn to Dominic. “What are we doing here?”

  He smiles, ever so slightly. “We’re watching. It’s what I like to do.”

  Pulling me to the side, we sit on a large sofa hidden in the shadows. He pulls me down onto his lap and turns his attention to the room in front of us.

  “Do you come here a lot?” I ask him suddenly. For some reason, even though I’m frustrated with him, and pissed at him, it makes me sad to think that he was spending his time in this room when he and I were still together. He shakes his head.

  “Only sometimes,” he tells me. “Why? Does that bother you?”

  “It’s your life,” I tell him flippantly.

  He stares at me dubiously, but I look away, over to a couple that’s fucking against the wall. They’re both completely naked and glistening with sweat. The man has the woman pinned, slowly fucking her with a red and swollen cock as her legs wrap around his waist. His cock is red from her slapping it every time he pulls out. But he loves it. He moans in ecstasy every time she strikes hi
m.

  “Why do you like this?” I ask softly, unable to take my eyes away. Dom smiles, a sardonic smile.

  “I’m not sure. Probably because I can linger in the shadows. I don’t have to interact with anyone, I can just watch. And if I do interact, it’s not on a deep level. It’s superficial, a mutual pleasuring of two people. Nothing more, nothing less.”

  “So it’s empty, then,” I say, lifting my eyes finally and looking at him. He shrugs.

  “If you want to see it that way.”

  I look at the people around me, at the whipping and the lashing and the red marks.

  “Do you like the pain, too?”

  He shrugs again. “Perhaps.”

  Something twinges inside of me, a realization of sorts.

  “Because you feel like you deserve it,” I observe. It’s not a question now. I know it in my heart and he doesn’t deny it.

  “Are there famous people here?” I ask quietly, changing the subject. Dom smiles.

  “Always. Sin’s parties are famous. People fly in from all over.”

  This isn’t a “party.” This is an orgy.

  Dom falls silent now, watching a girl in a cage. A second man has joined the first, and while the first man sucks hard on her breasts, the second lashes her with a velvet whip from behind. She moans, “Fuck me, fuck me, please.”

  She’s got lash marks on her back from those velvet tassels, and still she moans. Still she enjoys it. Still she arches her back and comes and comes and comes. As she comes, a second woman steps into the cage and sucks on her other breast. The woman screams even more… because she loves it.

  I feel wetness gush into my panties and I feel like a freak.

  “Why do I like watching this?” I wonder aloud to Dominic. “I’ve never watched anything like this before.”

  “That’s probably why you like it,” he whispers to me, his lips close to my ear. “It’s naughty, it’s forbidden. Forbidden things are exciting, no matter who you are.”

  He wraps his hand around my thigh, squeezing at the soft flesh there. Kneading, pulling, squeezing… causing just the slightest bit amount of pain. And I want more. All of a sudden, I want more. I want him to make me hurt… in a good way.

  He looks at me. “This room turns you on. Yes or no?”

  I’m embarrassed to admit that it does.

  “Yes,” I admit limply.

  “Are you wet?” Dominic asks, his voice husky.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  “Can I check?”

  I’m surprised he asked. But suddenly, I want nothing more.

  “Yes,” I answer.

  His fingers find me, cool and slender. And then they’re inside of me, in and out, slow then fast. My breathing catches and I turn into him, my face pressed against his chest as I grasp at him.

  “No,” he rasps, turning my shoulders around. “Keep watching.”

  So I do.

  I watch the couples having sex, the couples whipping each other, the lash marks, the bruises, the scratches. I watch fingers slipping into bodies, glistening skin, thick penises, slick folds. I watch all of it.

  And then I watch Kira enter the room. Dressed in a strapless gown, she walks in like she owns the room, looking around, searching every corner. I know who she’s looking for.

  Her gaze finds him, and in an instant she starts in Dominic’s direction, but then she sees me on his lap. Her eyes narrow and she freezes in her tracks.

  Dominic’s fingers have never stopped moving within me, even with Kira watching.

  I am both embarrassed and pleased by that.

  Dominic watches Kira retreat to a place by the wall, where she stands alone for a few minutes until Duncan comes in. Dominic’s younger brother assesses the room, assesses the situation, his gaze sweeping over me and Dominic, then Kira. And then he heads toward Kira, pulling her toward a padded ottoman to her left.

  At first she shakes her head, but then she follows him, sitting with him on the silk. She watches Dominic for a reaction, and it’s very apparent that she’s waiting for him to protest that she’s with his brother.

  But he doesn’t.

  Instead, Dominic strokes me, his breath coming harshly. His fingers feel good, incredibly good, but it’s even more amazing because of where I am… surrounded by sex of every nature.

  A naked woman with pale skin and red hair that tumbles to her waist stops in front of us, blocking my view of Kira.

  “Do you want me to suck you?” she asks Dominic. He looks down at me.

  “Do you want her to?”

  For a minute, I consider it. And then I’m amazed that I consider it at all. The idea of anyone touching Dominic in that way, anyone other than me, shreds me, and I shake my head quickly.

  “No.”

  He immediately shakes his head at the girl and, unbothered, she continues on to the next couple. I watch in amazement.

  “This place…” I murmur, my voice trailing off. I look around yet again. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  Dominic chuckles, low and dark. “Sin wanted it to be like ancient orgies were rumored to be. In the next room, there’s a Roman bath. Do you want to go in there?”

  I glance at Kira and Duncan. Duncan is kissing her neck, but Kira’s eyes are frozen on Dominic and me.

  “I don’t think Kira would like that,” I point out, trying to ignore the fact that Dom’s fingers are still inside of me. “She’s watching us.”

  “She likes watching me,” Dominic says easily. “She’s been a friend for a long time.”

  “Apparently, she’s a good friend of your brother’s, too,” I answer wryly. Dominic ducks his head, nipping at my neck, and I arch against him against my will.

  “Why am I here?” I ask him suddenly. “Why did you bring me? To further prove your point that I’m like everyone else?”

  Dominic stops moving and looks up at me, his gaze dangerous and dark.

  “You’re not like everyone else,” he answers. “I know that you’re not. But I needed you to see what I am. Before we go our separate ways and I never see you again, I needed you to see that I’m fucked up. That way, you won’t always wonder if we did the right thing by breaking things off. You can rest easily and know that we did. Because you don’t deserve someone like me.”

  His frankness surprises me, and I stare at him. He shrugs. “It’s true. And you need to know that.”

  “How are you fucked up?” I ask, keeping an eye on Kira. She watches me, her eyes narrowed as her legs wrap around Duncan’s naked hips.

  “Isn’t it apparent?” Dominic asks, his eyes gleaming. “I can’t get off on normal things. It takes the dark things, the taboo things. If I can get off at all. I’m fucked up, Jacey. Let’s just leave it at that.”

  “But why are you fucked up?” I ask bluntly. “Just tell me that much. The Dominic that I know is funny and witty and smart. And he is good, deep down where he tries to hide it. The Dominic that I know isn’t fucked up. Not really.”

  Dominic stares at me, his face a perfect mask. “That’s because you don’t know the real Dominic. You’ve sensed him all along. I’ve seen it in your eyes. I’m showing him to you tonight.”

  “I don’t believe it,” I whisper, and the words slip through my lips in a hiss. “This isn’t you. This is who you want to be for some reason. You don’t think that you deserve real things—good things. So you let yourself believe that this is your life. Your life could be more, if you’d just let it be, Dominic. I know it.”

  I pull away from him. “Look around you. This is sad. Yes, it’s a turn-on to watch… but only because it’s so naughty and dark. These people must have such sad lives—especially those women in the cages. They don’t