Summer's Edge

by Noël Cades

  He asked her how her week had gone, and she told him about work. Someone had brought in what they claimed was a kitten to the surgery. Except it had actually turned out to be an ocelot, and given its owner had no licence and no idea about its proper care, Jo had had to call the RSPCA.

  "They’re restricted under the Dangerous Wild Animals Act. God only knows how he got hold of it, or why he took it to a regular vet," Alice said. "It was very sweet though. They’re tiny, just like a regular domestic kitten. The leopard fur rather gives it away."

  "Does that happen a lot?"

  "Animals that exotic? No. Owners not having a clue how to care for something, all the time," she told him.

  "It must be frustrating," Stewart said.

  "It drives Jo mad. It’s one of the reasons she’s happy to be leaving for South Africa. There’s only so much of that you can take, seeing animals not cared for properly and not always being able to do anything."

  "What about you?"

  "I think I’d like to work with exotics one day. If I specialised, I wouldn’t really be dealing with everyday owners," Alice said. "I have to get into vet school first of course, and then actually pass everything."

  "You’ll be fine. You’re easily smart enough."

  She didn’t know how he could be certain of this, but she loved that he had confidence in her. "What about you? Have you decided what you want to do when you go back to Australia?" It was a horrible thought, that he would be leaving to go so far away. At least she’d be leaving for her trip around the same time.

  "I’ll probably take some time and decide when I’m over there. There’s no rush. There are jobs here as well."

  "In England? You’d stay here?"

  "Longer term it’s definitely an option." He looked at her as he said this, and she felt a thrill in the pit of her stomach. Part happiness, part fear. For a fleeting moment she imagined going to veterinary school with him in travelling distance, rather than the other side of the world. Would he really do that for her? Was it wise to even hope for it?

  * * *

  Later they were at his place, and Alice had been continuing to flip between happiness and a strange sense of panic. On one hand she was thrilled by the thought of Stewart in her future. On the other hand she didn’t feel ready to commit to anything yet.

  She was worried, given what he had gone through to be with her and the risks he had taken, that maybe he would expect some kind of guarantee.

  They were drinking coffee before going to bed and though she tried she was unable to hide her conflicting emotions.

  Stewart discerned her anxiety.

  "Something’s been troubling you, hasn’t it? You can tell me."

  He was looking directly into her eyes and she saw love there and concern.

  She bit the bullet. Took a deep breath. She was going to have to have this conversation eventually.

  "I worry that I can’t be what you want. Yet anyway. It’s not that I don’t love you, I just don’t know yet if I can… make decisions." She knew she was garbling and sounding even more confused. She was also getting more confused in her own head.

  "What do you think I want from you?" he asked her.

  "It’s just, with you having been married and everything. You’re probably ready for different things and I can’t do that or be that, yet anyway," Alice said.

  Stewart was smiling. "So you think my plan is to set up a white picket fence with a couple of kids in the next twelve months, is that it?"

  "No. Well, not exactly, it’s just that you must have thought about those things when you were married, and maybe you might be ready for all that again, soon."

  Now he was laughing. "I can’t believe you’ve been worrying about that. I love you, but we have all the time in the world. There’s no way I’d ever rush you or pressure you into something. If I wanted that - if I wanted it now with someone - I would never have made a move on you. It would have been unfair to both of us. But if we both feel the same way in a few years’ time we can have a different conversation."

  She was hugely relieved but also embarrassed for bringing it up.

  "I’m sorry. I just panic from time to time. I haven’t felt like this with anyone before."

  He stroked her hair back off her face. "Nor have I. Not with Bree, not with anyone. It took meeting you to make me realise what it should be like. But I’m not on a timetable. When I say years, I mean years. I want you to graduate, figure out what you want to do and where you want to be. And if that’s with someone else, then I’ll deal with it."

  "You might too," Alice said. "Fall for someone else, I mean."

  He laughed again. "I doubt it. The one advantage I have being older is that I have enough experience to know how you compare. But I’m well aware that you don’t. And if you need to find that out, then that’s what you have to do."

  Alice couldn’t imagine this in a million years. Every other guy just seemed insubstantial compared to him. Just looking at him now she couldn’t help wanting him. Thinking about the hard muscles under his clothes, the warmth of his skin, how his hands felt touching her all over her body.

  "If you want me to compare you to other guys, you’d better start by showing me what you’re capable of."

  He looked surprised for a moment, then realised that she was teasing him. "You need reminding?"

  "Yes, I’ve forgotten. Completely."

  "Have you forgotten this?" He tilted her head back and kissed her lips, first gently then firmly, his tongue exploring her, entwining with hers. His hands cupped her backside and he moulded her against him so she could feel his heat and strength. She loved the height of him, how tall and powerful he was. "And this?" He ran his hands down her sides, his thumbs brushing her breasts through the thin cotton covering them, his mere touch causing her nipples to go taut.

  "This too?" His lips were in the hollow of her neck now, his hands slid between her legs, caressing up her thigh and slipping inside the fabric of her underwear. She was already slick and ready for him. As always, he knew exactly where to touch her.

  "I can’t remember any of it." She could barely breathe the words, she was so hazy with desire for him.

  "And this? You’ve forgotten this?" He had pulled her top open and had his mouth on her breast, his tongue swirling around her nipple just as his fingers probed her near her most sensitive place, not touching directly but just circling around, driving her crazy. She squirmed to get him to touch her there but he had no intention of giving her release that early.

  Then he slipped a finger inside her and it made her want him inside her properly so badly she actually whimpered.

  "Do you need me to show you exactly what I can do with you?" he asked.

  "Yes." Please, she thought.

  But he teased her mercilessly. Drawing everything out as long as possible, making her cling to him and beg him to fill her, to return to her.

  "Don’t stop!" she said for what felt like the hundredth time. He was deliberately working her up to the edge then drawing back, leaving her helpless.

  "I need to make sure you remember this. If it’s quick you might forget too easily." He was joking but he was also proving a point. She needed him desperately and he wanted her to realise that.

  She clung to his back, trying to draw him closer to her, she wanted him deep and hard. But he was so much stronger than her that he maintained total control.

  She was pleading with him to stop holding back. He was playing her body with absolute precision, touching her so nearly at the spot where she needed it, then ceasing and moving his hands elsewhere.

  Her whole body was on fire for him. She was weak with need.

  "I love you, I can’t wait any longer." She was crying out for him.

  At last, finally he entered her. Filling her, stretching her, sating her with his hardness.

  They were joined. They were one. They were as physically close as it was possible to be.

  Surely no one else could ever compare to this?

 
His hands were gripping her waist, his thumbs splayed over her lower stomach. He set the rhythm, the depth, the pace. He held her there. He was unrelenting.

  He was showing her just how easily he could own her body. She could do nothing to resist him and she didn’t want to do anything to resist him.

  She wanted him. Only him.

  He brought her to the peak just as he reached it, moving his hands up over her body and breasts, and lying over her, shifting his angle to bring them even tighter together.

  His hard, final thrusts caused her insides to contract with sensation that was so intense it was almost painful. She was so out of breath she felt faint and light-headed.

  * * *

  Afterwards Alice should have been shattered but she felt awake and alive all over her body. Stars were dancing inside her head and inside the room.

  Stewart lay beside her, also recovering. "Will that be easier to remember?"

  She smiled. She felt enthralled by him, saturated by him and only him. This man, with his powerful body and his hands that knew how to make her body his. She looked at his face, the chiselled angles of his jaw, his even brow, his lips. She was memorising all of his features like a book.

  "I can’t imagine ever wanting anyone else like I want you," she told him.

  She saw the light in his eyes when she said this but he still wasn’t going to hold her to anything.

  "What I want, Alice, is just to enjoy the next few months with you, if that’s what you want too. No pressure. When you go travelling and when I go back to Australia, we can both see how we feel. If you want to come and visit me in Australia then we’ll arrange it and take it from there."

  It was exactly what she needed to hear. The fact he understood and was on the same page as her made it all feel even more right.

  He brought his lips to hers and the dizzy joy of being with him - no more school, no more obstacles - flooded through her.

  They had so much time. The summer had only just begun.

  Epilogue

  The slant seas leaning on the mangrove copse,

  And summer basking in the sultry plains

  About a land of canes;

  The Progress of Spring

  Alfred, Lord Tennyson

  Brisbane, November 1992

  Alice had been incredibly nervous on the flight from Bali to Australia. Not just about whether Stewart would still feel the same way, but how she would feel when she saw him.

  It was only three months since they’d said goodbye, but they had been three life changing months for Alice. Travelling around Asia with Jules had changed her perspective on things in ways she couldn’t have imagined back in her schooldays.

  The two of them went through immigration which seemed endless, there was so many arriving passengers to process. Would he be there on the other side? Would he wait that long? They had spoken briefly a couple of times by phone and he had promised to meet her at the airport.

  "I can’t believe how nervous you are," Jules said. Her hair was braided into hundreds of tiny plaits and like Alice she was tanned from all the lazing around on beaches. "He’s crazy about you. It won’t have worn off in three months."

  They finally made it through to baggage reclaim and customs. As they hauled their bags off the conveyor belt Alice felt self conscious about how much like backpackers they looked.

  Jules slipped off as soon as they were through to find a bathroom. Alice knew that she was trying to tactfully disappear. She walked by herself through the gauntlet of other passengers’ friends and relatives, numerous hotel chauffeurs waving placards, tour guides trying to assemble parties, feeling horribly alone for a moment.

  And there he was.

  He was more bronzed and even better looking than she remembered. And taller, and more serious. She felt a sudden panic. But then he saw her and his face lit up.

  He came over and they stood for a moment in front of one another, and then his arms were around her and she was pressed against his chest and it felt like coming home.

  She had missed him so much. From the way he was holding her she knew he felt the same.

  When he finally let go they were both still awkward around one another. "How was the flight?" he asked.

  "Not too bad. We were near the back."

  "Your timing’s perfect anyway." By a miracle he was actually in Brisbane the day they arrived, though he would have flown up from Sydney otherwise.

  Alice suddenly remembered. "I forgot to ask! How was play?"

  He grinned. "Not too bad." After returning to Australia he’d been a surprise re-selection for the national cricket team. Australia was currently playing a test series against the West Indies.

  Stewart insisted on carrying her backpack as they walked towards the taxi rank. "Hadn’t we better find Jules first?" he asked.

  "She’ll meet us outside. She’s got the details of some backpacker hostel in Brisbane where we can stay."

  Stewart stopped and turned her towards him. "Alice, you’re not staying in a backpacker hostel. I’ve got you both a room in the hotel we’re at. I could only get one because they were booked out, if you two don’t mind sharing."

  A hotel would be like paradise after some of the places they had stayed at in South East Asia. Even Mush’s van would have been luxury in comparison. Clean towels. A working shower. Hopefully no cockroaches.

  "God no, we won’t mind sharing. We’ve been sharing dorms with loads of other people for the past few months," she told him.

  "Of course you can stay with me in my room instead if you want."

  She saw the faint doubt in his eyes. He was actually worried she would prefer to stay with Jules, that she might not want to share his room.

  "What do you think?" she asked.

  "That if you want to just sleep the whole night that’s fine, but I’d really like to be with you."

  She answered him with a kiss. He hadn’t kissed her yet, and what was intended to be a brief embrace quickly deepened. His body felt harder than ever under his shirt - all the training probably - and she knew that she would have no desire to go straight to sleep that night.

  I’m back, Alice thought. I’m where I should be. I’m where I want to always be.

  The spell was broken when she heard the world’s least authentic coughing behind her. Jules had found them.

  "Great news," Alice said before Jules could make any embarrassing comments about fond reunions. "We’re in a hotel tonight."

  "Really?"

  "The whole weekend if you want," Stewart said. "Until we fly back, which isn’t until Wednesday."

  As they got into the taxi Jules asked him how the match was going.

  "Good, though it will be a miracle if I last the series," he said. "My shoulder flared up again."

  "Is it painful when you play?"

  "Not after a cortisone injection." He had planned to retire the previous year anyway, so a final international season was a huge bonus.

  The light was fading as they drove into the centre of Brisbane and to the hotel. They got Jules checked in and went off to their respective rooms.

  The hotel room was indeed like heaven compared to the last hostel they had been in. An expanse of clean white sheets, pillows, towels, it was just immaculate. Alice was reminded of the first time she had stayed at his place and suddenly felt shy.

  "I know exactly what I’d like to do right now, but I came straight from the game so I’ll shower first," he said.

  Alice wouldn’t have minded but hours on a plane and in the stickiness of Denpasar and Brisbane airports made her long for hot, clean water as well. She looked at him, a question in her eyes.

  Within minutes she was in the hot steam with him, naked, both of them rediscovering one another. He was more taut and muscled than before but as tender as he was passionate.

  Afterwards they lay on the bed together, the pristine sheets in crumpled disarray.

  "Do you… still…" she felt insecure because he hadn’t said it.

  "Do I still
love you? I love you more than ever. I’ve missed you more than I ever thought possible."

  "I love you too. I was worried you wouldn’t feel the same," she said.

  "Three months isn’t that long, not for me anyway. It felt like forever, waiting for you. I know you need to go on travelling with Jules but I want you here with me for a while first."

  He only had to say something like this to her and she was ready for him all over again. He was in such supreme fitness that even after a long day on the cricket pitch he could meet her every need.

  The next day they went to watch the test match at the Gabba, the Brisbane Cricket Ground. He had got them access to a special area by the player’s enclosure which made them feel smug as there were other backpackers slumming it on the Hill.

  Watching Stewart on the pitch transformed the play for Alice. He was opening the batting and she was on the edge of her seat throughout. Every time he cracked some runs it was ecstasy. Every time he faced a close call it was an absolute ordeal.

  Jules was laughing at her. "You need a drink. Even Becky wasn’t this bad watching Brett."

  As the score climbed the tension only got even higher. It was such a hot, humid day in the subtropical Queensland heat. Alice wondered how the players weren’t suffering heat exhaustion, standing out there hour after hour with no shade.

  But they battled on and suddenly the scoreboard flicked over to three digits by his name and the crowd was in uproar at the century.

  Even Jules was on her feet, dancing around, hugging Alice. "He got a tonne! I can’t believe he got a tonne, he was supposed to be retired!"

  Alice felt the happiest she had ever been in the world. It was her man that everyone was cheering. Celebrating. She had never experienced anything like this before and it felt amazing.

  The match ended up drawn but she didn’t care. Nothing could take away from Stewart’s achievement. He was Man of the Match and there were people all over him. Press, fans, officials. Alice enjoyed the thrill of being the one who was with him though he was keeping their connection discreet for her sake, now he was in the spotlight again.