MissKitty

by Laci Leigh

  Nothing spectacular caught my attention with email. Adam & Eve, the online adult products store, was running a special promotion on some of their their naughty items this weekend. I didn’t even bother reading the ad and deleted it. BOB was enough for me, but I would need new batteries soon if Neighbor Todd didn’t reach his required points. In my opinion, he’d better get a step on it pretty soon, or he’d have to wait until next month to have the best sex of his life.

  I laughed aloud and choked on my coffee. Who was I fooling? Three years? I’d probably forgotten everything I’d learned. My first boyfriend hadn’t been the most interesting bed buddy. I could never figure out if he was insecure or just old-fashioned, but the sex just hadn’t worked for me. His ample-sized penis, mixed with his inexperience had left me bored. The first time we tried sex with me on top had started and ended miserably.

  His forceful hands had tried to help, only to add to my frustration. I’d wanted to figure it out for myself. Once I got the hang of it, he came―like a rocket.

  Then there was Milton, a middle-aged college football jock, almost twenty years my senior. He’d probably had more women than the entire football team put together. He’d been a man whore, but given his expertise, he’d made a great sex partner. The first time we had sex, it was kind of funny. The intensity, the nervousness, and not to mention the part where we slammed into the living room wall while consumed with wild kisses and stripping off our clothes, pretty much indicated a hot romp awaited. To make matters worse, we managed to make it to the bed where our heads collided with a bang. I think we tried every possible position during the first two hours. However, that was another relationship ended badly. He of course, was one of those dogs that chased the cat.

  Not the guy for me.

  I heard a car door shut and immediately thought Todd was already up and about. Dear Lord, what if he came over and saw me still in my nighties? Under normal circumstances, an old, holey T-shirt wasn’t very attractive or sexy. I liked to enjoy the comfort and freedom my Sunday’s Best provided. The sexy stuff was for sex. I made a dash for the window to check on Todd.

  His car was in the driveway, but he was nowhere in sight. My attention shifted when I spied the neighborhood slut, Bridget Wilson, the wife of an attorney. Everyone knew Bridget was more than the local neighborhood Welcome Wagon. With her husband working late at night, screwing his legal assistant, Bridget had too much time on her hands.

  I hated to admit it, but Bridget was a beautiful woman. Her long, slender legs, gorgeous golden hair, fake set of double Ds, and her pretty face made her very appealing to any man. I’d say from a guy’s point of view, she’d rate a full ten on the rising penis scale. Her extramarital affairs, as I’d heard from the neighborhood gossip, didn’t seem to bother her husband. He had to know. Sometimes, I wondered if they compared notes. Maybe this was the reason they stayed married—they ran a race with one another to see how many people each could fuck on a monthly basis.

  Bridget’s attire for that day consisted of white jean shorts that barely covered the crack of her ass and a pink halter-top that screamed, FUCK ME PLEASE!

  She was striding along normally in her pink high heels, carrying a plate of what appeared to be maybe brownies or cookies. And the bitch was headed straight to Todd’s house.

  How lovely.

  She must have taken real notice of Todd yesterday while he was washing his car and decided to welcome him to the neighborhood properly. Of course, he’d moved in six weeks ago, but I was sure she’d come up with a good excuse as to why she hadn’t greeted him earlier.

  I was mad as hell. Heat burned my face. I truly despised that woman. Not because of her beauty, but because she had a husband and it still wasn’t enough for her. For goodness sake, couldn’t she leave the fresh meat for someone else? Someone who didn’t have a husband or boyfriend. Yeah, someone like me.

  I decided to put up a good fight for Neighbor Todd. His gratefulness over the brownies was all she would get if I had my way. Quickly, I ran back to the bedroom and rummaged through my sexiest nighties until I found a little short, white silky number. I stripped off the raggedy T-shirt, hurriedly skimmed the nightie over my head, and threw on the matching robe. Snatching up a pair of white, fuzzy high-heeled slippers, I shoved them on my feet, and grabbed my coffee mug on the way out the front door.

  With a sideways glance over to Todd’s, I discovered the two of them chatting. Shit! She had already given him the baked goodies. Damn she was fast. Walk it girl …walk it!

  I strutted down the driveway like a model on a catwalk, in Todd’s clear view, and any other neighbor’s for that matter. God, I hoped that old Mr. Fellows next door wasn’t watching. He’d have a heart attack for sure. The man had tried many times to lure me to his house for what he called a serious courting. Ewwwww…

  “Hey, Katrina!” called out Todd’s sexy voice.

  It was one of those moments where I thought everything was going well―and then turned sour in three steps and three seconds. As I pivoted to greet Todd, my foot landed on an acorn from the old oak tree at the edge of the driveway. I lost my balance, wobbling awkwardly, recovered, and then dropped my coffee cup.

  Obscenities flew quietly from my mouth as I bent to pick up the unbroken but empty cup. The wind picked up behind me, and I heard glass breaking.

  When I turned around, Bridget and Todd were cleaning up a broken plate and scattered brownies from the doorstep. A-ha! So he was watching. Embarrassing, but good. I gave him a good twenty-point head start for the day. I turned around and hurried back into the house. I’d deal with the embarrassment of it all later—after a hot shower.

  Todd apparently possessed an internal homing device linked to my hot water heater because the doorbell rang only a few minutes after I’d showered. I knew it was him without even opening the door. The only thing to do was grab a robe and a wrap a towel around my head.

  I cracked the door. “Oh. Hey.”

  “Hey.” He seemed to be a little anxious. “I thought we’d get an early start. You don’t mind do you? I hear there’s a great Mexican restaurant over in Gulf Breeze. Cancun’s. Have you ever been there?”

  Located about four miles past Three Mile Bridge, Cancun’s was one of my favorite restaurants. My friends and I sometimes frequented the place on weekends. Had this guy tapped into my emails or what? How did someone like him know all my favorite things, especially the candles?

  “Yes. I love Cancun’s. But, um…could you give me a few minutes?”

  “Come over when you’re ready. The door’s unlocked, so come on in.” He flashed me a smile and stepped away.

  The huge smile that formed my lips actually hurt my cheeks. My little ruse had worked. Well, maybe.

  I hurried, dressing casually in khaki shorts and a sleeveless black summer top, making sure my legs were nice and smooth in case Todd earned his way to Miss Kitty today. My hair, styled to perfection and complemented by the soft brown shadow I’d used on my eyelids, looked soft and sexy. Adding the final touch with a pair of diamond studs at my ears, I then grabbed my bag and was off to see Neighbor Todd.

  I took the short cut through the yard into his driveway, strolling up to his front door. Even though I’d received an invitation to simply walk in, I couldn’t help myself. I knocked first. He didn’t answer, so I knocked again before turning the knob and stepping inside.

  “Hello? Todd?”

  The spotless house was the first thing I noticed― very classy for a man. The aroma of fresh apples coming from a jar candle on the middle of the coffee table filled the air. So he likes candles, too. His home wasn’t exactly like a bachelor pad. It was homey, cozy. Not at all what I’d expected.

  A dark blue, plush pillow-topped sofa with matching love seat and recliner sat to my right. On the wall to my left hung a large flat-screen TV. Two incredible paintings of the ocean caught my attention. No doubt he had very good taste. In front of me, a glass wall separated the patio and back yard from the living room.

&
nbsp; I took a few steps forward and noticed a hallway to my left, followed by the kitchen―my dream kitchen. Leaning against the cool, black granite counter, I took note of the massive gas stainless steel stove and admired the beautiful range hood. It wasn’t one of those heavy-duty restaurant-style jobs, but the European version, slender, elegant. Then I saw the refrigerator and fell in love—with the fridge—or maybe Todd, I wasn’t really sure. The forty-six-inch wide boss of all refrigerators. The SubZero built-in side by side made my insides tingle. Anxiously, I scanned the rest of the kitchen. I had to know if he had it. If he did, I would marry and spend the rest of my life with him.

  I leaned over the counter to gander. I still couldn’t see anything. All I wanted to know was what type of dishwasher he had. Damn, and it’s probably right under my nose!

  “Hey.” The voice came from behind me.

  Was my ass in the air? I eased away from the countertop and turned around.

  “Oh, hey.” My voice came out a little nervous. “I um…knocked but you―”

  “I was in the garage. Still trying to move in, you know. By the way, I liked the little wiggle you did with your ass just then.” His lips broadened into a smile. “So, ready to go?”

  “Uh…” I decided then and there I might have to get used to red-hot cheeks around Todd. “Uh, yeah.”

  “Great. Let me just grab my keys, blow out the candle, and we’ll be on our way.”

  He took a few steps toward me, his long arm stretching around my body as he eyed me carefully. My heart thundered and sputtered to a stop. He was so close that the heat radiating from his body warmed my skin. The wonderful fragrance of his cologne wafted over my face. I’d never swooned before, but with my head spinning the way it was, I accepted the possibility that I might be a nanosecond away from falling on my ass. Damn, what was he? Just another gorgeous, six-foot-four male hung like a horse―right?

  A wicked smile crept up on his lips. Oh yes. He knew what he was doing to me, that I was definitely interested. He saw it in my eyes. That move gave him another ten points, and if he kept this up, he’d have a hundred by evening.

  He retrieved his keys from the counter, slowly backed away, and headed for the living room. That was when I noticed I’d been holding my breath. What the hell? No man had ever done that to me before. I forced myself to move.

  “So, you’ve already been to Jandles.”

  My mucky brain needed a jump-start from a battery charger. I couldn’t think clearly enough to answer his question.

  “What?”

  “Jandles? You said you’ve been there before.”

  I tried to shake the loose circuits back into place. Finally, my brain started working again. “Oh, yes. I go there on a regular basis. It’s where I buy all of my candles. I love the store. How did you find it?”

  Casually, he picked up the candle jar and blew out the flame. A stream of black smoke rolled upward, and he fanned it as the tip of the wick glowed red.

  “A coworker mentioned it to me the other day. I think candles add a warm, cozy feeling to a home.”

  I followed him to the front door, “Ah, so that’s how you knew I liked candles.”

  He smiled. “I’m very observant.”

  He opened the door and waited for me to step through.

  “So I see,” I said softly as I walked toward the passenger side of the car, where once again, he helped me inside. Ten points.

  Todd seated himself, slipped on his sunglasses, and started up the car. The engine roared to life, sending chill bumps to pepper my arms. My panties suddenly went wet. Good thing I’d worn a panty liner, or I’d have needed to make some excuse to run back in the house and change underwear. Okay, he had me with the car—that and his earlier smooth move. I loved a muscle car. The feel and sound of a powerful engine exhilarated me, much like a man who knew how to rock a woman’s world. Cars were my passion, which is why I drove a sleek Mitsubishi Eclipse. Not quite the same torque, but she had enough to haul ass and fit my budget quite nicely.

  He turned on the radio. Todd paused for a moment, his gaze meeting mine as if he was calculating the type of music I would like. His lips parted into a grin, and after a few clicks I was suddenly transported back three years to when Leona Lewis’ song, Bleeding Love, was on the top of the charts. I loved that song.

  The song flooded my soul, followed by the painful memory, but I shot him a smile and nodded my head. Todd snaked his hand around the shifter and backed the car out of the driveway.

  Jake was the name of that painful memory. A tall, handsome heartbreaker from my past. It had happened during college and had ended three years ago—a very bad ending that had shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. Our relationship had started out wonderfully, gradually building with a twist of spontaneity. We spent unending hours talking, taking road trips and just enjoying one another. Those four years were the best and worst for me, especially the last year. Jake thought we needed some space, but the ugly truth was he needed space. Later, I found out he was seeing someone else. From what I heard, Jake wasn’t the guy I thought I knew. It wasn’t just one girl, though, but several, and every weekend was another couple of one-night stands for him. There had been no indication that he’d felt the need to sow his wild oats, however, I discovered he’d spread them so far and wide, it had been enough to keep Quaker Mills in business for ten generations to come.

  It had been the usual case of a woman ready for a commitment and the man who wasn’t. After my broken heart, I retaliated, sort of, with my own skewed view of dating, and it was then that I’d put together my point system―along with the help of my friends, of course. We decided to rate guys based on how they treated us. Good treatment and politeness earned them points. Bad behavior and disrespect of the female gender in general, got points deducted.

  Todd had taken me back to a time I hadn’t wanted to visit again, but I wasn’t about to give him that ammo just yet.

  “You know I really liked this song,” I said as he pulled out onto the main road from our subdivision.

  “Yes, this song brings back some memories for me.” He pressed the pedal down and I felt the back of the leather seat snug against my skin.

  “Skeletons?” I couldn’t help myself.

  “Sometimes love does leave you bleeding. What about you? Does the song bring back any memories?”

  Okay, now he’s digging in my back yard looking for a bone. Down puppy…down.

  “Not really,” I lied.

  He gunned the engine. “You know what we should do today?”

  “I thought we were going to Jandles?”

  He glanced at me. “We are. I mean later. I thought after we had lunch, we could get some ice cream at Baskin-Robbins and take a stroll on the beach. I have yet to experience the beautiful beaches I keep hearing about. Maybe we can check out some of the little shops, and if you’re not too exhausted, go back to my house, and I’ll cook you dinner.”

  Sixty…seventy…eighty…ninety…oh SHIT!

  Todd just racked up the mother lode of points. An all-day event, winding down with him cooking dinner. Who was this guy?

  “That sounds like a plan.” My voice came out a little more eager than I intended.

  He chuckled. “And for dessert,” His gaze caught mine, “I make a mean Mojito.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle. “Are you planning on getting me drunk and taking advantage of me?”

  He let loose a throaty laugh.

  Yes? No?

  When he didn’t give me an answer, I figured I’d hit the nail on the head with a firm yes. Okay, so he was one of those guys who had to have a drink to get his nerve up before he put the moves on a new woman. A premeditated event. Like planning a murder. Only his plan involved tapping Miss Kitty.

  I raised an eyebrow and released my own laugh. Apparently, I had been racking up penis points with him at the same time he had been gaining in kitty points. Todd was making this a more interesting adventure minute by minute. The old saying was where ther
e’s smoke, there’s fire.

  And I smelled smoke.

  Chapter Three

  Catastrophes

  Why is it that some men make you forget every bad relationship you’ve had? The kind of men I’m talking about are those who make you laugh until your sides hurt and your mascara streaks down your cheeks. Men that win your heart. No matter how well we guard our hearts, there is always one man who will find a crack in our well-built walls, eventually bringing them tumbling down.

  Todd didn’t spare me his quick wit and serenaded me with a song, and if his off-key singing wasn’t bad enough, he added a few hand gestures to emphasize the meaning of the lyrics, too. Not to mention jokes that were so bad I didn’t have any choice but to laugh. The subject of body waxing came up and Todd admitted he had tried waxing his chest once. He told me that when they pulled off the first strip he saw tiny stars, and then everything went black. He also said that when he came to, he had three beautiful women standing over him. He thought he’d died and gone to heaven, but when they pulled off the second strip, he said he went straight to Hell. He said he would never try waxing again, therefore, the razor had become his closest friend.

  Jandles was our first stop. We spent time looking over all of the wonderful smelling candles and purchased several. From there, we had a long, leisurely lunch at Cancun’s then headed for Baskin-Robbins where he bought us ice cream cones that never really made it to the beach with us. Todd and I shared a laugh over his discovery that it was difficult as hell to shift gears while holding an ice cream cone. Why is it men love to see a woman eat an ice cream cone? The answer is simple. They like to see what a woman can do with her tongue! The thought hit me a little late, though. Todd had this whole ice cream deal planned, I was pretty sure. A hot day and ice cream cones made for some humorous and vulgar thoughts. It was the simplest thing, but when I ran my tongue up the cone to catch the drips, I noticed a slight grin cross his lips. Technically I wasn’t trying to be sexy. I was holding onto two ice cream cones as he shifted gears, and both were fast trying to become puddles of milk. I guess I’d earned some extra penis points for the way my tongue lapped around the top of the cone.