Damn you, Hugh!
Emily knew she was being contrary, she knew that over the years Hugh must at times have felt like some baffled semaphore signaller as she’d flirted and waved red flags while her mouth had done its best to refute what her body said.
After the break-up with Marcus it had been relatively easy to move on, but getting over Hugh... Emily tried to imagine working alongside him when she had been relegated to being his ex and—fake girlfriend or real one—she knew that one day the inevitable would happen.
But if she wasn’t working there...
Stop it, Emily told herself, determined not to go there. It was a relief when people started to leave and Emily could go and retrieve her bag. Hugh’s strange offer had left her all unsettled and quite simply she wanted home.
Only Hugh had other ideas.
As she stepped out onto the street she heard him call her name.
‘Emily...’ Hugh caught her arm. ‘Have you thought about it?’
‘Sorry?’
‘You know...’ Hugh said, moving her into the shadows, ‘what we were talking about before.’
‘I’ve already given you my answer.’
‘Oh, come on, Emily, it would be fun.’
‘How?’
Emily stood there. A taxi was approaching and her friends were calling for her to join them and there was Alex and his wife Jennifer leaving.
She knew that because Hugh chose his moment and started kissing her neck.
‘Foreshadowing,’ Hugh said, in between kisses.
‘Or just adding to your reputation,’ Emily said, trying to ignore the sensations his lips were delivering, trying not to be moved by the feel of Hugh’s hands on her waist.
Little butterfly kisses were being delivered to her cheeks and her lips were starting to thrum hungrily in anticipation as, three years on, the master picked up the lead and offered a decadent walk. And just as she had when last they’d kissed, Emily had to come up with a rapid reason why it wouldn’t work.
Before lips met she had to come up with a reason or she’d be dragging him by the hair to the taxi and up the stairs to her bed.
Or would she let him drag her.
Oh, my!
She was again starting to consider the possibilities, just tossing all warnings aside and going along with his ridiculous plan. It was the feeling of suddenly wavering that had Emily pull back.
‘I can’t do it.’
‘I’m waiting for the reason.’
‘I can’t do it because...’ Come on, think, Emily, she told herself, come up with one very good reason why it would be an impossible idea. And then her champagne-and Hugh-befuddled brain found a solution. ‘Because I don’t like you,’ Emily said. Hugh just grinned.
‘No, I mean it, I don’t really enjoy your company so...’ Shut up, Emily, her mind said, but she simply couldn’t stop. Emily could actually see the frown between his eyes as the words hit. ‘I put up with you at work, of course, it’s part of my job, but...’
‘Okay.’ He stepped back.
‘You asked why not,’ Emily said. ‘You asked for one good reason...’
‘I get the message,’ Hugh said. ‘Finally.’
Emily closed her eyes, very aware that she had handled that terribly, then she forced them open and took a breath, knowing that she had to apologise.
But how?
How could she explain that she didn’t like his company at times because it ate her up inside? How could she explain when he was inches from her mouth that her feelings for him terrified her?
‘Hugh...’
‘Let’s just leave it.’
They walked over to the line of taxis and Hugh opened the door of one for her.
‘Hugh...’ Emily said as she got in.
‘’Night, Emily.’ He closed the door.
All the way home Emily kicked herself. She couldn’t have handled that more badly if she had tried but the near kiss had actually caused her to panic.
Get over yourself.
Maybe it was time to, Emily thought. Perhaps she could apologise properly on Monday.
Maybe even explain how she felt?
That she was actually terrified to get close to anyone.
She paid the taxi driver and headed to her home, and for the first time her resolution wavered, the cloak of self-preservation almost slid off, for she wanted the feelings Hugh triggered and yet she knew, from his undeniable track record, that soon they’d be done.
Time to take a risk, Emily.
In fact, it was long overdue that she did.
She was just pulling him up on her computer, just trying to convince herself to wait till tomorrow to attempt contact because she’d made enough of a mess of things tonight already.
Then she saw that she had a message.
From her dad.
Emily, I tried to call.
I’ve got some good news, two bits of good news actually.
Emily read the message, her eyes filling with tears as she heard that her dad was marrying again and soon, because—guess what—Cathy was pregnant!
A little brother or sister for you, her dad tossed in, and she was very glad she’d missed his call because she felt like screaming.
Would it be like it had been with the twins all over again?
She actually ached to see them but it wasn’t just the blood relations that hurt. There had been so many girlfriends and along with them their children, and it was much the same with her mum.
‘I don’t want to go to your wedding.’ Emily said it out loud as she stared at the screen, though she knew she’d do the right thing and be there, more in the hope of seeing the twins, though.
If Donna let them attend.
That was why she was like this, Emily reminded herself. That was why she let no one in.
She checked her reminders. It was her half-sister Abby’s birthday tomorrow and though she had sent a gift in the post Emily posted a message on her mum’s timeline.
She flicked through some images; saw Abby smiling with her own dad’s children from a previous relationship.
There wasn’t enough wood in a forest to map Emily’s family tree.
It was always the one, her parents told her when they met the latest love of their life.
This time they were sure.
Until it was over.
Emily allowed herself one look at the smiling image of Hugh on her screen and then clicked off.
Hugh was a sure-fire recipe for disaster.
She was right to refuse herself a taste.
CHAPTER THREE
FOR ONCE HUGH wasn’t looking forward to Monday.
And it wasn’t just Emily’s revelation that had soured the weekend!
The accident and emergency do had been a little wild and Hugh had again had to put out an increasingly regular fire named Gina.
He’d gone round yesterday to speak to her and she’d done her best to convince him it had just been a one-off, that she hadn’t been the only one who’d had too much to drink.
True.
And, yes, it had been her thirtieth birthday after all.
Yet Hugh wasn’t so sure it was just the drinking that was the problem.
Three years ago when he’d voiced his concerns first to Alex and then to Mr Eccleston, the head of Anaesthetics, he had been taken seriously. Gina had actually cried on him about the unknown person who had threatened her career.
It had all come to nothing and it had eaten Hugh up since then that possibly he had jumped the gun because Gina really was an amazing doctor and she had proved it over and over.
Just lately, though, Hugh felt that things were sliding again.
Driving to work, he took a call from his sister. ‘Is everything ok
ay?’ Hugh instantly checked.
‘Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?’ Kate answered.
‘It’s not even seven a.m.’
‘Well, I knew you’d be on your way to work and I don’t like to trouble you there.’
‘You can call me any time, Kate.’
‘Hugh, can you take your social-worker voice off? Just because I’ve had a baby it doesn’t mean that there has to be a problem.’
Easy for you to say, Hugh thought, pulling up at traffic lights. Three years ago Hugh had taken Emily’s advice and practically frogmarched Kate to her doctor, and still, all these years on, what had happened in Kate’s dark teenage years ate at him.
‘So, what are you calling for?’ Hugh asked instead.
‘We’ve booked Billy’s christening,’ Kate said, ‘for the end of June.’ Hugh grimaced when she gave him the date. He was quite sure he was on take that weekend and he’d already swapped his roster once to accommodate an upcoming wedding that he wouldn’t miss for the world.
He’d actually given Kate a list of his available dates when she had started to talk about making plans for the christening.
Let it go, Hugh, he told himself as the lights changed.
Yet he always let it go around Kate.
‘The thing is, I’m actually—’ Hugh attempted, but Kate cut in.
‘We want you to be godfather.’
‘Oh!’ Hugh didn’t know what to say at first and then he said the right thing. ‘I’d be delighted to.’
So there was no getting out of it, then.
Damn.
Hugh loved his sister and nephews very, very much; it was just the timing of things that was a serious issue. How the hell could he ask for another Sunday off?
‘Will you be bringing someone?’ Kate asked.
‘Probably not.’
‘I’ll need to know for the restaurant.’
‘No, then.’
‘Hugh?’ Kate checked, because there was a terse edge to his voice.
‘It’s just a bit of a sore point at the moment.’
‘I thought you and Olivia were well over and done with.’
‘We are,’ Hugh said, ‘well, I am.’
‘Is she still calling?’
‘Now and then.’
‘So what’s the sore point?’
‘I’ve got to go, Kate,’ Hugh said. ‘I’ll give you a call in the week. Thanks for asking me to be godfather, it means a lot.’
It did.
Hugh pulled into the work car park and saw the rare sight of Emily’s car. Usually she took public transport but occasionally she brought the bomb in.
There was the sore point.
He didn’t buy it that Emily didn’t like him.
He knew that she did.
And he liked her.
He had from the first day they had met. Hugh liked strong women, strong, independent women, and Emily was all of that.
Oh, not the shaved-head, unshaved-leg kind, it was her independence along with her femininity that continued to draw him in. With Emily he was himself, without qualification, without having to apologise if something he had said or done might have caused offence.
‘Hugh!’ He turned at the sound of Alex’s voice and waited while he caught up with him.
‘Hi, Alex, good weekend?’
‘A very good weekend,’ Alex said, as the men walked through the car park. ‘Jennifer’s mother came for a visit and has agreed to stay with us for the summer.’
‘That’s good news, is it?’ Hugh smiled because wasn’t your mother-in-law coming for an extended visit most husbands’ idea of hell?
‘It is.’ Alex nodded. ‘With all my work and studying I’ve let things slide a bit, I feel, but we’ve had a talk and with Jennifer’s mum here for a few months we can make a bit more of my days off. Jennifer needs a break.’
Hugh glanced over. He had nothing but admiration for the man—from toddlers to teenagers, Alex dealt with it all, as well as study and research and holding down such a demanding position. Hugh wanted that consultancy position. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t learn something from Alex, and not just in the operating theatre.
‘You have to work at anything if you want it to be successful, Hugh,’ Alex said, ‘and I’m not just talking about the salaried stuff.’
Hugh wasn’t sure if that was a small dig about his and Olivia’s break-up but, then again, he was surprised that Alex was talking about bumpy times at home to him. ‘Well, I hope you both have a great summer.’
‘We shall,’ Alex said. ‘Right now I’m off to breakfast with Clem. I’ll see you in theatre.’
* * *
Emily hadn’t been looking forward to Monday either.
She walked into the staffroom and there was Hugh sitting in his usual spot. After making a coffee, Emily went and joined him, just as she usually did. ‘About what I said the other night—’ Emily started.
‘Your shift doesn’t start for another ten minutes,’ Hugh interrupted, ‘so you don’t have to talk to me yet.’
‘Hugh, it came out all wrong.’
‘I think you made yourself very clear.’
‘I do like you,’ Emily said, her cheeks going red, ‘just not in that way.’
‘Okay.’
‘And if we did suddenly start going out...’ She just gave a shake of her head and tried to explain how it could never work. ‘I’ve got my dad’s wedding next month. Do you really want to go to that circus? Because he’d know about us too.’
‘How?’
‘Because he follows me on Facebook,’ Emily said. ‘It’s pretty much how we communicate and Mum follows me too. It would just all get too complicated.’
‘Fine.’ He looked at her and she could see the hurt in his eyes. ‘I shan’t keep you. I’ll see you in Theatre.’
‘Hugh,’ Emily called him before he could walk off. ‘I’m not in Theatre today, I’m rostered for Anaesthetics.’
‘You don’t have to run your schedule by me.’
‘I’m just explaining that I’m not avoiding you, I’m filling in this morning so I didn’t get to do the placements...’
Hugh didn’t answer, he just walked off.
What a mess, Emily thought as she made her way to the anaesthetic room. It was a small annexe that led to two of the theatres. Here the patient would be anaesthetised and intubated before being taken into the operating theatre. She was in for a busy morning. First was Ernest Bailey and though his was a long case, before Hugh’s next one there were two epidurals scheduled for two planned Caesareans.
Emily smiled when she saw that it was Rory who was on. He was pulling up medication so that everything would be ready, well out of sight of the patient, and they chatted for a moment as they set up. ‘I thought I was down to work with Gina,’ Emily said.
‘And I thought I had Monday off,’ Rory responded, and then explained that he’d been called in the early hours to come in. ‘She called in sick—I think she had a bit too much Hugh on Saturday night.’
Emily simply rolled her eyes—maybe Hugh had been busy trying to persuade Gina to pull the wool over Alex’s eyes for a few weeks.
Maybe the two of them had got it on.
Emily bit her lip as she looked at the theatre list. That burn of jealousy was low in her chest and reminded her how much getting too close to Hugh could only inevitably hurt.
He was a friend, though, despite what she had said the other night, and that was something she didn’t want to lose.
Rory was explaining to Emily that Ernest would be going to ICU after his surgery when Hugh came in.
‘He’s not here yet,’ Emily said, because usually the patient would be here by now and waiting for a brief word with the surgeon before goi
ng under.
‘I know,’ Hugh said. ‘He’s taking his time to say goodbye to his wife. Poor old boy doesn’t really want the surgery but his wife has told him she wants him there for their golden wedding anniversary...’ He paused as Ernest was wheeled in. ‘Good morning, Mr Bailey.’ Hugh was lovely to the man. ‘How’s Hannah?’
‘Fussing,’ Ernest said.
‘And how are you feeling?’
‘Thirsty!’ came another one-word answer as Hugh checked again the markings he had made on Ernest’s stomach. ‘When can I get a cup of tea?’
‘That’s a bit of a way off for you,’ Hugh said. ‘I’ll come and see you in Recovery after the operation and then later again on ICU.’
Ernest rolled his eyes. All he wanted to know was when his next drink would be, but soon he was under and Emily moved him through to the theatre and then came back to prepare the room for the next patient.
‘Morning,’ Emily said, as Anton and Declan, another anaesthetist, came in just as Emily had finished setting up for the epidural.
‘Change of plan.’ Declan smiled, unlike Anton, who just got straight down to business.
‘We’re going attempt a vaginal delivery in Theatre,’ Anton said. ‘Then we will do the planned cases.’
He went into Theatre to get ready and Emily rolled her eyes at Declan. ‘Nice of the labour ward to let us know,’ she said, just as the phone rang with that very news.
It was just a busy morning, punctuated by the sound of a woman grunting and screaming. Louise was in her element, Emily was wincing and Rory laughed when Hugh came in once Ernest’s surgery was over.
‘Lovely background noise,’ Hugh said. ‘I’m just going to speak to Ernest’s wife and then I’ll have a quick drink. I’ve sent down for the next one.’
‘Mr Bailey didn’t take long,’ Emily commented.
‘It went better than expected,’ Hugh said. ‘I didn’t end up doing a colostomy, he’ll be pleased about that.’
As an ear-splitting scream filled the morning. Rory came in and laughed when he saw Emily’s reaction. ‘Is that with an epidural?’ Emily asked him.
‘Apparently she doesn’t want any drugs.’ Rory peered through the window into Theatre. ‘Declan’s just gone in, so maybe she’s changed her mind. No, it looks like Anton’s going to use forceps.’
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