One Step Away (A Bedford Falls Novel Book 1)

by Sydney Bristow

  Although he tried out for the football team, after a few brutal hits on teammates during try-outs, his coach didn’t go with conventional wisdom by making him a star defensive player but cut him. He’d considered him a liability since his brutality might injure fellow teammates during daily practices.

  Dispirited, Alexander didn’t bother trying out for wrestling, assuming that the coach would respond the same way. And baseball, basketball, band, theater, debate, and other like-minded groups never interested him. It resulted in a loner mentality that allowed him to focus on his studies, which turned him into an honor student. He hoped this accomplishment would persuade other kids to put aside their prejudices. But since he didn’t really fit into any category, which could have increased his popularity among different cliques, he soon found himself without any specific group to identify with.

  To pass the time, Alexander lifted weights and built up his body to become more attractive to girls, but it only reinforced his image as mean and troublesome, even though no one took the chance to find out if he really did personify that reputation. He turned to books to pass the time and read voraciously from all genres. The library felt like the only “safe” environment to spend his time: a place where no one would judge him, where no one would talk about him behind his back.

  Before long, library staff members began recommending titles for him to read and began discussing life and literature with him. Because of these close relationships, they recommended that he apply for a Page position, which entailed shelving books, setting up meeting rooms for programs, and other simple tasks. A year later, he got promoted to Circulation Clerk, which allowed him to interact with the public, thereby increasing his comfort level with others. The job helped him pay his way through college, and since the library felt like a second home, Alexander decided to move up in the field by getting his Masters in Library Science degree.

  Soon enough, he got a librarian position at the very library he started at. But a few years later, seeking a new challenge, he applied for the Adult Services Department Head position at the Bedford Falls Public Library and got the job. He’d always counted himself as lucky to have succeeded in his career without many obstacles. But it came at a price. His career accomplishments had undermined his love life, or as Damon put it, his close working relationship with women at work had depleted his manhood. And this couldn’t be more perfectly exemplified than by the scene now unfolding before him.

  “Dude,” Damon said, following him, “who was that?”

  “Marisa’s…” He couldn’t…no, he wouldn’t let the truth cross his lips. Brad’s comment echoed in his mind: A few years from now, I’ll be married to Marisa. Alexander couldn’t imagine going to their wedding, stepping on his own pride as he shook Brad’s hand outside the church. He couldn’t imagine going to their home during the holidays, only to watch Brad slide up behind Marisa and curl his arm around her shoulders before giving him that arrogant sneer.

  A wave of self-loathing slammed into him, triggering an even more overwhelming sense of powerlessness, of failure. But these feelings had an unforeseen side effect: anger whipped through him, making it clear that he could never endure another experience like this one.

  Something had to change. He had to change. He didn’t like giving in (or backing down, depending on your perspective) to someone who deserved a beating. He burst through the door and turned left, heading for his car.

  “What the hell was that about?” Damon asked a few moments later, following him.

  Alexander kept walking.

  “Hey, man,” Damon said, catching his arm, stopping him. His expression held the same concern that Marisa’s had. “Was that Marisa’s boyfriend?”

  “You know at the Oscars when a starlet goes to the bathroom, she has someone take her seat? Well, that’s what Brad is. A replacement.” Even if it wasn’t a serious relationship now, the idea that it might one day lead to that set off another spark of anger inside him.

  “Sounds like it’s a perpetual thing. She dumps a guy then hooks up with Brad.”

  “She’s not hooking up with him.”

  “Oh, really? What do you think they do when they get home? Get out the cards and play Go Fish? No, they’re snuggling up on the couch watching a movie. They’re making out. They’re—”

  Alexander rushed his friend, grabbed the shirt under his chin, and drove him into the concrete wall behind him.

  Notching his chin high, Damon met his intense glare with a smirk, letting it be known that he had no idea what Marisa and Brad did in their spare time. He’d simply implied possibilities to get under Alexander’s skin. “What are you going to do, Alexander? You going to take a shot at me? Last I looked, I’m not your enemy. It’s the guy slipping it to the one you love.”

  “He’s not.”

  Damon raised both hands and slammed down on Alexander’s wrists, breaking his hold. He adjusted his shirt and circled his friend. “Neither of us knows what’s going on with them. So why don’t you do something about it and find out?”

  Alexander couldn’t take it anymore. He felt helpless, weak.

  “Answer me this: why do you think Marisa keeps going back to this guy?” Damon asked.

  “She likes him.”

  “Correction: she likes one or more aspects of his personality. If she liked everything about him, she wouldn’t let him go. And keep coming back to him. You know her best. What about this bum does she like so much?”

  He didn’t want to respond because doing so was an admission that Marisa liked Brad in ways that Alexander obviously couldn’t replicate. Otherwise, as Damon had said, she’d be with him. But he decided to trust his friend and follow through with this exercise. “He’s spontaneous. He likes fast cars, heavy metal, taking things to the edge. He acts like a goofball, he’s kind of perverted.” He looked up at Damon. “Man, I don’t know—”

  “So…” he asked, expecting Alexander to draw some conclusions.

  “She likes someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously, someone who can laugh at himself. But I do that. I’m just not a pervert or anything.”

  “You’re missing what she’s telling you. This dude’s a pervert, you say? Maybe or maybe not. If he’s talking about sex though, he’s saying he doesn’t mind talking about it with Marisa. And that tells her that he’s not always thinking about it, or when he does think about it, he doesn’t necessarily think about having sex with her. Which makes her wonder why. It makes her actually think of having sex with him.

  “Women know guys think about sex. There’s no denying that. Why not be upfront about it? Like it’s a fact of life. That it can be fun. And if you don’t talk about it, she may automatically assume that you’re thinking about it but are too ashamed or scared to talk about it. It makes her feel like you’re hiding something or that you’re trying to manipulate her into having sex with you.”

  “So I should tell her I want to have sex with her?”

  Damon smacked him upside the head. “That’s for being a dumbass. What you failed to do with Marisa is encourage her to find you attractive. You didn’t build any sexual tension. Practically every woman wants her best male friend as her lover. So she wants to find you attractive. I guarantee it.

  “But you’ve failed. Big time. So she ends up going to that moron, Brad. Focus on why Marisa called him tonight. Because we know she did. She broke it off with some guy and she needs something Brad can give her. And it doesn’t have anything to do with sex.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Exasperated, Damon threw his hands up in the air. “If you want to become the man you always hoped to be,” he shouted, “you better find out how to do it!”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Just after Brad left their table, Marisa accepted a shot of Vodka Skyy from Lauren and downed it, then chased it with a sip of Diet Coke. She rarely drank heavy liquor, preferring to stick with a light beer, but the prospect of seeing her best friend in a potential fight with her…what did she consider
Brad?

  One night, four or five months ago, Marisa lay in bed beside him and noticed a huge rift between them: she couldn’t imagine lying on the couch watching a movie with him, couldn’t imagine going grocery shopping with him, couldn’t imagine him rocking a baby in his arms while he cooed in their child’s ear. In short, she didn’t see a future with him, not because she couldn’t envision that type of future, but because she got the impression that he couldn’t.

  In a place where she should have felt as close in spirit to him as she felt in proximity, Marisa had never felt further away from anyone in her life. And with him sleeping peacefully beside her, she’d spent the rest of the night weeping silently because they would never have the deep, emotional relationship she hoped for.

  Having come to the conclusion that they were not meant to be together in a romantic sense at that point, Marisa stopped seeing him. However, she hadn’t exactly told him how she felt. Perhaps his encounter with Alexander wasn’t the only reason she’d had a shot of liquor. She needed a little extra courage to admit the truth.

  Lauren placed another shot in front of her. “Down the hatch,” she said and knocked one back.

  As Marisa swallowed maybe half of the shot, she didn’t even remember Lauren leaving to get another round. To avoid dealing with one issue that she expected to face tonight, talking with Brad, she decided to revisit her conversation with Lauren about Alexander. “I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”

  Since Lauren was so familiar with Marisa’s convoluted thought process and the way she jumped from topic to topic, she said, “You’ll be surprised what you can deal with – if you don’t think about it.”

  “We’re too close—”

  “Why don’t you feel something more? Just the way he looks at you tells me that he’ll never want anyone else. I know that’s hard to believe, but Alexander’s different. He’s solid. And deep. And that’s way hotter than Brad’s body. You know why? Ten years from now, Brad won’t look so hot anymore. But Alexander will still be solid. And deep.”

  Marisa hadn’t disclosed her reservations about Brad to Lauren. “I just wanted to see if Brad was ready for a serious relationship.”

  “What’s the verdict?”

  Marisa pretended to shake an invisible Magic 8-Ball. “Reply hazy, try again.”

  “What’s the verdict?” Lauren repeated with a grin. “But seriously, when do you think you’ll know? And if he isn’t ready now, when will you give up on him?”

  “Beats me. I think the main reason I hang out with him after a breakup is because he takes my mind off it. I’m not thinking about the past or the future. Plus, he’s fun to be around. I can definitely see him with kids. I’m just not sure he can see it.”

  Lauren’s eyebrows knitted together, taking that comment as a red flag.

  “I know; no one can convince him…but him. But I’ve seen him with kids. He’s kind and lighthearted and they have a ball together.” She couldn’t take that line of thought anywhere else, so she said, “People are drawn to him. He’s the center of attention at every party. And he’s matured quite a bit in the last four or five months. I’m curious to see if he’s changed in other ways. But right now, I’m not looking for something serious. And neither is he.”

  “Which is one of the reasons you’re questioning whether he’s a long-term possibility. We both know you want to settle down, maybe even pretty soon. But Alexander wants a long-term relationship. And he is ready.”

  “True. But Alexander’s intense. Really intense. Sometimes it’s tough for him to loosen up and relax.”

  Lauren looked wistful. She pretended to hit a button on an imaginary cash register. “Okay, that’s one smart good-looking guy who makes a steady living and seems like he’d be a good father. That’ll be…Oh, wait. He’s your best friend?” She hit another imaginary button. “There’s an extra charge for that.”

  “You’re a riot,” Marisa said, trying not to grin.

  “And would you like a prenup to go with that?”

  “I can’t contain my laughter.”

  “So is that for here or to go?” Lauren always found humor even in the most precarious situations.

  Marisa grew contemplative. “I hate that I can’t make us happen. What’s wrong with me?”

  Hearing her phone chirp, Marisa checked out the new text message. She couldn’t hide a sharp intake of breath, prompting Lauren to raise her eyebrows in question. “It’s Kelsey. She heard what happened with Alexander, and she hopes I’m doing okay.”

  Kelsey somehow maintained impartiality when it came to disagreements or misunderstandings between Marisa and Alexander. She always listened, but never got too involved, letting them work it out themselves. In hindsight, Kelsey probably did so because she knew about Alexander’s true feelings. Now that he’d revealed those emotions, Marisa felt grateful that Kelsey as remaining supportive but not intrusive. No one could ask for a better friend. She replied back: “I’m okay. Just really confused. Thanks for asking. Sorry for being short, but I need to sort things out. Talk to you soon.”

  But if things went south in a hurry, Marisa couldn’t blame Kelsey for siding with Alexander. Still, she hoped it didn’t come down to that.

  *

  Damon turned back to Alexander to start in on him again. “Since you two had a falling out today, Marisa’s upset. She also got a promotion, so she may be happy, but she’s probably mostly stressed – two major life changes in the same day. So let’s get back to Brad. You said he’s spontaneous and likes taking risks. Where do these characteristics spring from?”

  “Being wild?”

  “Close. He’s unpredictable. Remember that. We’ll come back to it later. What’s important right now is a side effect of being unpredictable. If you act that way, you take charge, you take the lead...in your own way. Let’s look at Marisa’s lifestyle. She’s a manager, right? All day, she’s making decisions and delegating work. So when she gets home…”

  “She wants someone else to take charge,” Alexander said, pushing aside his confusion. It explained why she had called Brad. Whenever they went out, Brad most likely made plans and took her out, not the other way around. And when she and Alexander went out, he always found himself taken along for the ride because he hadn’t considered what they’d do.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Damon said. “But you’re wrong. She may want to do certain things sometimes, but not all the time. Most women want their men to have a plan. They want them to take charge. They feel cared for that way. It goes back to the caveman days. It’s instinctual. Guys who don’t follow up with that unspoken promise end up acting like they’re looking for approval. Bottom line: you’re a man. Act like one.”

  “Make plans and don’t always say yes to everything. Got it.”

  Damon shook his head. “What, are you taking mental notes? This isn’t a quiz. You have to know it. And feel it. It’s not something you get tested on.” He cocked his head to the side. “Well, you do, but not in the way you think. Doesn’t matter now; we’ll get to that later. Let’s go back to Bond. He walks into a room, all eyes go toward him, wondering what he’s going to do, what he’s going to say. He’s unpredictable. But they’re looking because he’s in total control of himself and his surroundings. This extends to the women he’s with.

  “Don’t get me wrong: he’s not controlling. He knows what he wants and he goes after it. There’s no uncertainty, no discussion. It simply is. When someone throws him a curveball, he rolls with the punches. When a villain threatens him, Bond doesn’t sit down and wonder what he’s going to do. He reacts. But he takes his time while doing it. Why? Because he’s in control. People wait for him, not the other way around. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s what you have to work on.”

  “How can I possibly know what I’m going to do in any situation?”

  “You won’t, but that doesn’t mean you have to know instantly. Give yourself some time. Don’t just make a decision. If you pause to decide,
you’re building tension. The woman you’re with is left in suspense, wondering what you’ll do or say. They love that. Because they have no idea what’s going on in our heads, and they’re always trying to find out. They’re not used to it because so many guys are boring.

  “All right, it’s taken you twenty-eight years to get to this point. And if you ever hope to be with any woman in the future, you’ve got to make a change.”

  “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

  “Are you kidding?” Damon asked with a serious expression. “If Marisa thought you needed confidence before—and she was completely right—by the way, how is she going to think about you now, after watching Brad daring you to throw a punch while you just stood there doing nothing?”

  “I would have gotten thrown out, and Marisa would think I’m a monster. A smart man knows when to walk away.”

  “Oh, I see. Walking away from a dude she likes makes you more attractive?”

  Alexander knew now that no matter how he responded to that situation, he couldn’t win; even when he thought the encounter ended in a draw, he still lost.

  “And do not place any of this on Marisa. Since she has a special place in her heart for you, she probably isn’t being as tough on you as I am.”

  Irritation ignited inside Alexander. “You’re not being tough. You’re being a prick.”

  “Glad to hear I’ve got your attention. But consider this: doesn’t it stand to reason that, if women are buying my books, I might know something about the opposite sex? Just know I’m saying this because I want you to find that special someone. Think of me as a drill sergeant. Except without the uniform. Or the shouting. Or waking you up at dawn to train you on how to meet women. Or—”

  “Sir, yes, sir,” Alexander said with pep in his voice.