Middleman

by Jayne Rylon

  Add to that the fact that my outwardly reserved lover showed his most private parts—quite literally—to anyone with an internet connection today, for me, and there’s no possibility I can doze off.

  I should go paint.

  The only images that come to mind are ones I’m too afraid to put on canvas, though. Remarkably similar to the one I burned a few weeks ago. Having Cortez and Rogan around at the same time is pushing my libido into overload. I heave a huge sigh and prepare to suffer, restless and turned on, through the night.

  “Can’t sleep?” Rogan murmurs as he rouses and snuggles against me. He strokes my chest with his hand, my shoulder with his cheek, and my shin with his foot.

  I run my fingers through his hair and hold him close. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I can go out to the living room or my studio and leave you alone.”

  “Please don’t.” His fingers wander lower, toward my rigid cock.

  I put my hand on top of his and trap it, keeping it from reaching his destination. Has he forgotten Cortez is nearby? We’re not the kind of guys who keep quiet while fucking. Although that could make for well-deserved payback. I’m still fuming at Cortez, even if my anger is unfounded. After I calmed down, I could admit his plan had some merit. God knows I could use an orgasm or twenty to release some of this nervous energy.

  Maybe I’ll gag Rogan. With my underwear. Even better.

  I still owe him that spanking, too.

  “Kaden, I’m so horny,” he whispers.

  “Hanging out with Cortez all day will do that to a man.” I caress his back then cup his ass, squeezing so he knows I’m not upset. Denying my ex’s sex appeal would be ridiculous. I avoid looking at him whenever possible so I won’t develop inappropriate thoughts. “You want me to help? Fill this ass and make you come?”

  He nods vigorously.

  I chuckle. “Can you control yourself? Your moans?”

  “Smother me with a pillow if you have to. I need it. You. Please.”

  I lift his lips to mine then sip from them, making sure he knows this is only naughty teasing, nothing serious. Then I say, “What if I don’t? What if he hears how sweetly you beg and comes to help me take care of you?”

  It surprises me when he trembles in my grasp. His dick is fully erect and stabbing me in the side. Sort of similar to how hard I am.

  Except that’s not quite the fantasy I have playing in my mind. I’d much rather Cortez use me and show Rogan how much we’re really alike.

  A spurt of precome trickles onto my belly.

  Rogan runs his finger through the puddle, then sucks on it. His strangled groan cuts through our hushed intimacy.

  “What did I tell you about being quiet?” I pinch his ass.

  He stiffens against me. Not for the right reasons. “Kaden, that wasn’t me.”

  “Then who—?”

  Another noise echoes down the hallway, this one more guttural and less easily confused with a sound born of pleasure.

  We sit up at the same time, our blankets draping around our waists.

  Before either of us can decide what to do, the groans morph into a wail. Then full-on, horror-movie-worthy screams. I never quite understood the term blood-curdling until now. It literally clumps in my veins as I listen to the audible expression of Cortez’s fear and misery.

  “Santiago!” Rogan comes to his senses first. He bolts from bed without pausing to put on a stitch of clothing. I chase after him.

  Though I’m sure Cortez would never harm Rogan intentionally, he’s obviously lost to reality. Rogan has no idea how strong Cortez really is. Or how lethal. I’ve seen him train. He could snap Rogan in half before he even knows what’s coming.

  “Wait, Rogan! Don’t go in there!”

  He doesn’t listen. I swear to God I’m going to have him over my knee for this stunt later. He has no right putting himself in harm’s way when I’m right here to take that chance for him.

  In all fairness, he probably can’t hear me over Cortez’s curses, whimpers, grunts, and moans. His shrieks and crying. At least the screaming has died down. I’ll never forget that sound as long as I live.

  What the hell happened to him? What has he survived since he left me?

  I’m starting to think I may have had it easy compared to him. Son of a bitch!

  When I reach the guestroom and stumble across the threshold, Rogan is already reaching out. The instant his fingers land on Cortez’s shoulder, he snaps to consciousness. He flies toward my well-meaning boyfriend. I fling myself in front of Rogan, taking the brunt of the impact.

  Cortez hits me like a human battering ram. We roll across the floor and slam into something immovable. Before I can catch my breath, he’s on his feet, pinning me to the wall that stopped our tumbling hard enough I’m sure my skull dents the brand-new sheetrock. It also has me seeing stars.

  Far in the distance, Rogan shouts, “Santiago! Don’t hurt him! It’s Kaden. You’re here, in his house. Where you used to live. Remember?”

  Dazed and concentrating on hearing over the ringing in my ears, I don’t react at first when Cortez plasters himself against me and groans. “Kaden?”

  I can’t answer after that because his mouth slams down over mine. On instinct, I react, sucking his tongue into my mouth the moment it probes for access. His hands fly over my body as if making sure I’m really here, and okay.

  When his cock nudges my belly, I realize he’s naked. I’m naked. Rogan’s naked.

  Fuck! Rogan!

  I writhe in Cortez’s unrelenting grasp, finally dislodging his lips. I shout his name. “Stop! Get off me! I’m not yours anymore.”

  His hands open automatically. Instantly.

  I slide down the wall and curl into a ball at his feet.

  Rogan rushes over, skidding beside me on the floor. “Kaden, are you okay?”

  I look up in time to see Cortez touching his mouth as if wondering what just happened. He blinks down at Rogan and me, huddled together, then reels backward. “Oh, fuck. Shit. Sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll go. Sleep in the car. Something.”

  I glance at Rogan. He’s staring at me.

  Without exchanging a single word, we stand together. Shoulder to shoulder, we advance on Cortez.

  “You’re not going anywhere,” I decree in my best in-command voice. Something Cortez has never heard before. Ironic, since I learned it from him.

  Rogan nods along with me. “Except maybe out to the kitchen. I’ll make us some hot chocolate.”

  Neither of us mention the cold sweat pouring off of Cortez—down his temples, his chest, his abs. It drips onto his legs. My god, his leg. Ragged purple scars stand out even against the blotches of fresh pink skin left by extensive burns.

  He’s been through hell.

  And managed to come back out.

  For me? The look in his eyes says it all. What are we going to do?

  I panic, sucking in huge lungfuls of air so I don’t pass out from shock or bliss or shame or embarrassment. Rogan and Cortez are both scrutinizing me. When I turn away from them and rest my palms on the dresser, my gaze lands on a framed drawing I instantly recognize. It’s the one I stuffed in Cortez’s duffle after I’d talked to his handler, and before our final romp goodbye.

  He kept it.

  Treasured it.

  Brought it with him tonight.

  I finally thought I’d reconstructed my life. It’s being blown apart again as obviously as Cortez’s has been. Rogan approaches, slipping his hand into mine. It’s clammy and tense.

  When he turns me around and leads me toward the door, I can’t help but see Cortez. He’s slumped on the bed, also staring at the drawing.

  We’re a mess.

  Rogan speaks first. “Time out, guys. Let’s take a breather. Five minutes. When everyone’s composed themselves, I think it’s about time we talked.”

  For the man who’s the most submissive person in the room, he doesn’t do a bad job of taking charge. Can Cortez and I be as brave or honorable as he is?
r />   Doubtful.

  I guess we’re about to find out.

  31

  Rogan

  The splash of the shower running in Santiago’s room soothes me as I watch bubbles begin to gather on the bottom of the cobalt blue glass kettle I bought for our new kitchen. It’s masculine yet beautiful. Like Kaden, who is sitting at the table in a pair of boxer-briefs. He’s staring at me as intently as I’m gazing at the water, waiting for it to erupt into a vigorous boil.

  Sort of like us.

  The pockets of worry and restlessness have been accumulating for a while now, growing larger and more frequent, especially since Santiago reappeared. I’m ready for them to rise to the surface and burst. Hopefully without any of us getting scalded.

  Seems like a long shot.

  “What exactly are we supposed to discuss?” Kaden asks. “Is there really anything good that can come of including Cortez when we hash things out?”

  “Maybe.” I try to keep it from sounding like an accusation when I say, “You’re not happy.”

  “I am. If you’d seen me a year ago, you’d know how far I’ve come. Just because I’m not whistling and skipping all damn day doesn’t mean I’m struggling or depressed or some shit.”

  “Okay, you’re not completely satisfied, then. I can tell.” It’s time to be honest, even with myself. “You mumble about Cortez in your sleep. I can even see the difference in your paintings. They’re darker lately. Angsty. If something doesn’t change, I’m going to lose you.”

  “You’re not. I swear.”

  I shake my head. “Then I’ll walk away. I won’t let you live half alive.”

  “You’d rather I was destroyed entirely? Because that’s what it would do if you leave me. I thought you got that. Thanks a fucking lot, Rogan.” He shoves back from the table, preparing to storm out.

  “Hey, wait.” I touch his shoulder lightly, urging him to remain seated. When he does, I sit in his lap and absorb the heat of his arms, which instantly slide around my waist. “I’m worried, okay? That your old urges are starting to resurface. Or could eventually. Maybe you’ll find someone else and cave when I’m not around. Or maybe…I don’t know. I think this could be a chance for you to get what you need without going behind my back or making yourself do without.”

  “Wait, what could be?”

  I peer up at him from beneath lowered lashes. “A threesome with Santiago.”

  “Jesus.” This time he does stand. Quick enough that he nearly dumps me onto the floor.

  We face each other. I take his hands in mine. “You told me you still love him, Kaden.”

  “So what? That doesn’t mean I like him. Or respect him. Or trust him.” He breaks away and kicks the garbage can halfway across the room. “Sometimes love isn’t enough.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” I put my fingers on his elbow, turning him to face me again. “There’s part of you that still needs him. And if we don’t take advantage of this situation, maybe the fact that I’m crazy in love with you isn’t going to be enough to keep you.”

  “And what about you? What would you get out of it? Wouldn’t it be awkward?”

  “Nah. I mean, Cortez is smoking hot. Watching the two of you together…” I hum. “I could get into that.”

  “Seriously?” He narrows his eyes, seeing right into me, as usual. “Is that all it is? What exactly have you two been doing all day at the office?”

  “Not cheating on you, if that’s what you’re implying.” This time it’s me that tries to recoil. He doesn’t let me go.

  “Maybe not, but I’m pretty sure a hot dog didn’t fall into your shorts while you were getting the milk out of the refrigerator.”

  I glance down. Damn it. “I can’t help it if you two are sexy.”

  “So you’re attracted to him, too?” Kaden wonders. “I mean, I don’t blame you. He’s…yeah.”

  I can’t ask him to bare his deepest secrets without doing the same. “You’re right. I’ve gotten to know him over the past few weeks and I’m definitely interested in taking things farther.”

  “Have you ever slept with multiple guys at once before?”

  “No.” I can’t believe this is an actual discussion we’re having. “I’ve seen porn where guys are gangbanged. And got off on it.”

  Kaden leans in and kisses my flushed cheek. “You’re adorable. I’m telling you right now, as someone who’s been fucked by Cortez, that it would be nothing like those stroke movies you watched. It would be much more intense and personal. But…”

  “What?” I stretch up for a real kiss this time. It comforts me to know his affection hasn’t dimmed after everything that’s gone on today.

  “Will you remember who you belong to? You’re mine. I won’t let Cortez steal you away. He taught me everything I know. He could blow your mind without trying. Mine too, for that matter.”

  “I’ll never forget that I’m yours.”

  “Good. And about me bottoming…”

  “What about it?” I blink up at him.

  “Will it make you think less of me to see me submit?”

  “I should punch you in the gut for that.” I scowl.

  “What? It’s a serious fucking question.” He tries to hug me. I slap his hands away.

  “Do you think less of me because I bend over for you?”

  “Rogan, of course not.” He grabs me then and draws me to him for another kiss. This one communicates exactly how much he cherishes and adores me.

  A little breathless, I look into his eyes and say, “So don’t be a dumbass. Of course it wouldn’t change how I see you, how things are when you’re alone with me.”

  I can see his throat working as he tries to speak around the knot that must be lodged there.

  “All I’m asking is for you to think about it. Okay?” I lay my forehead on his shoulder. “Let’s see what Santiago thinks.”

  His arms wrap around me, squeezing me tight. He rocks with me as if he’s putting me to bed.

  Kaden whispers into my hair, “Okay. For you.”

  “For us. We’re not going to make it unless something changes. That scares me more than anything.”

  “For us, then.”

  “Why do you two look like you’re in the middle of something steamy?” Santiago asks from the hallway as though he might turn around and leave if we tell him he’s interrupting.

  “Because Rogan’s trying to talk me into double-teaming you.” Kaden probably could have picked a more suave method of delivering that message. I had to give it to him, though, it’s fast and effective. Gets the point across before either of us can chicken out.

  “You’re what?” Santiago whips his stare to me.

  I shrug. “Is it the worst idea you’ve ever heard?”

  “Because I’m a selfish fucker who’d love to sleep with you both, no. For you guys and your relationship, it’s got to be right up there.” He glowers. “This isn’t a game. I’m not a pawn who’ll be responsible for fucking up your chances of winning at life together. Maybe I should go back to bed.”

  None of us believe he’ll be sleeping anymore tonight.

  Those perpetual sooty smudges under his eyes make a lot more sense now.

  I leave Kaden’s side, pour steaming water into a mug, add a handful of marshmallows, and a squirt of whipped cream that I can think of much better uses for. Because sweet, sticky sex makes everything better, right?

  When I look up, he’s still standing there. So is Kaden.

  “We won’t bite,” I can’t resist joking.

  Santiago shuffles closer. He and Kaden take seats opposite each other at the table. I carry two mugs over and set one in front of each guy at the same time, then make a second trip for my own drink.

  “I could add some bourbon if you guys prefer.” I pause before returning.

  Kaden shakes his head. “You know I stay away from the harder stuff these days.”

  “No thanks. Not with Ronaldo on the loose,” Santiago reminds me that this
slumber party isn’t only for the hell of it. On second thought, I grab the bottle out of the liquor cabinet and add a splash to my own mug to dull the repercussions of my poor choices in men.

  Hopefully I’m not making another enormous mistake tonight.

  As if he realizes he needs to distract me from the past, Santiago asks Kaden, “Out of curiosity, what were you saying to your boy’s proposal?”

  “That I need to sleep on it. I think he’s crazy. But he might also be right.” Kaden takes a long drink of his hot chocolate, probably also rethinking that bourbon. Then he clears his throat and wipes the froth from his upper lip. Both Santiago and I are riveted to the motion. “Maybe I think about being topped from time to time. Unfortunately, my stupid ass won’t yield to anyone except you.”

  Santiago’s nostrils flare and his eyes turn glassy. “I’m so sorry I let you down, Kaden. I never should have gotten involved with you knowing I was obligated to the government. But…I met you and I couldn’t resist.”

  “I did come on to you pretty strong. And I’m pretty fucking awesome. So, you know, I forgive you.”

  Damn. I hadn’t expected that. I rush back to the table and sit between them, taking one of each of their hands in mine. I link them together since they’re too stubborn and marred to do it themselves.

  “You do?” Santiago’s fingers shake in mine.

  “Yeah. But if you do one single thing to hurt Rogan, that’ll be it. There’s no second chances when it comes to him. Do you understand?”

  “Absolutely.” Santiago nods. “He really is one hell of a man.”

  “You haven’t even seen how good of a cocksucker he is yet.” Kaden’s eyes roll back.

  Is it fucked up that I’m smug over his crass compliment?

  Nah, not when he’s trying to entice his ex-lover to become my lover, too.

  I think it’s working. Santiago brushes his thumb over the inside of my wrist, then releases me somewhat reluctantly, judging by the trailing of his fingertips over my skin. He wraps his big hands around his mug as if to help keep them to himself. “You two should go back to bed. I’m okay now. Going to stay up and watch the monitors for a while. Call in a few favors from guys I’ve worked with before.”